In general life, which one do you put first others or yourself?

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   liesl5858posted 10 years ago

   In general life, which one do you put first others or yourself?

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2. 81

   Esenbeeposted 10 years ago

   Hmm, I would say I've put others before me most of the time in the past. Now, I still care a lot for other people as well as help others but I'm learning to put myself first...not in a selfish way but to let myself realize that I need to show love towards myself as well. I'm learning to balance this "doing for others" business because I believe I have been taken advantage of due to my bleeding heart.
   
   I'm never going to turn away from helping others but I will definitely improve how I go about providing that help. Besides, a person cannot give or offer to someone else what one does not have. In other words, I'm going to make sure I'm taken care of first before I set myself in a position to help someone else.

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      liesl5858posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very good answer Esenbee and it really makes sense to look after yourself first before you can help others. I am doing the same because I have been in situations in the past wherein I helped someone but then I forgot about me too needed help.

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   Sri Tposted 10 years ago

   I put myself first, as one famous spiritual teacher once said, "without me, there are no others". I must be, in order for them to be. If you take care of yourself, you can more effectively help others. There's only one you, and there are many others who need help. And by helping yourself, you are helping others in unseen ways.

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      liesl5858posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your answer Sri T, you are right there, without good health you can't look after other people.

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   mikejhcaposted 10 years ago

   I try to maintain a balance. Sometimes I put others first and other times I put myself first. Putting other people first does not always work out very well for me. Often they don't appreciate what I did. It is not really fair for me to always put other people first. That means that they are putting themselves first all the time.
   
   Sometimes it really bothers me when I put someone first and they don't appreciate it at all. For instance, when I go hungry and the person I put first throws his food away. A person I know likes to be served first and he has a habit of taking more than he is going to eat.

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      liesl5858posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you mikejhca for your reply. Sometimes it is also nice to put yourself first before others, because sometimes people take advantage of your kindness and some people are unappreciative no matter what you do for them.

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   travmajposted 10 years ago

   Good question - I do know in the past I've put others first and only in hindsight do I now realise it wasn't the best thing to do. Mostly, lack of appreciation and the general idea that it was expected of me, simply taken for granted.  Not that it's easy to change, I still mainly put my family first. However, I'm now taking care of me. I like Sri T answer - help yourself and you can help others. Makes sense.

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      liesl5858posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks travmaj, sometimes I tend to look after others than putting myself first. It will have to change.

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   DDEposted 10 years ago

   I try to put myself first  I do care for  others but I come first for on all occasions. I like to make me happy before making others hapypy

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      liesl5858posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      DDE, I think you are right, from now on I will put myself first before I help others.

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