Should flattering make you feel guilty if you are married?

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (4 posts)
  1. Acmontero profile image61
    Acmonteroposted 4 years ago

    Should flattering make you feel guilty if you are married?

    If you have a husband that doesn't appreciate you and compliments you, but another man at work does should one feel guilty? This man knows every detail of your lips, eyes, face, neck, everything. Something your significant other has not done ever. The intimacy in the marriage is still there but he just ignores you and falls asleep afterwards.

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/9120501_f260.jpg

  2. peeples profile image95
    peeplesposted 4 years ago

    The example you have provided is of a relationship that is lacking serious communication or deliberate ignorance. If the wife is feeling ignored either she has not communicated that need with her husband or he is deliberately ignoring it. Both are signs that the marriage will eventually fail or the parties involved will feel resentful and live in a poor marriage. With that said no one should feel bad about being complimented by someone outside of the marriage, but if it goes more than simple flattery and it isn't stopped then it is a violation if you aren't in a relationship that allows it. My view on marriage is if you have to hide it from your partner then it shouldn't happen or you shouldn't be married to that person. Could the wife in this example openly tell her husband that another man knows every detail to her lips? If not something is wrong in my opinion.

  3. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 4 years ago

    You have no control over whether or not other people find you attractive or they flirt with you. However you do have control over whether (you) flirt back.
    Most relationships initially start off with some measure of flirting on sexual innuendo. Flirting offers a person a way to "test the waters" to see if there is a (mutual) attraction. At best it can be a (secret fun illicit game)  attached/married people play and at worst it can be the gateway to entering into an illicit affair.
    Cheating is in the eye of the beholder. If someone presented you a video of your spouse flirting  with someone, holding hands walking along the beach, and meeting for lunch multiple times a week....etc Would (you) be okay with it? Would you call it cheating?
    The first thing a person does is "justify things" in their own mind.
    "Just because I'm married does not mean I can't have friends."
    "For all I know she or he might have some (secret friend) that I know nothing about."
    "It's not like we're having sex or even kissing for that matter!"
    "We're just friends!"
    Overtime however it's not uncommon for "secret friends" to open up emotionally towards one another. Reveal their hurt and disappointments about their mates. They become "emotionally invested" in one another while slowly withdrawing emotionally from their spouses. Initially they may begin by offering one another advice on how to improve or deal with their relationships until they come to "realize" that (they) were meant for one another!
    Eventually they feel as though life has played a "cruel joke" on them by having them meet after they've married others. The (secrecy) intensifies their sexual urges towards one another and they go for it.
    Odds are if it is ongoing they will be found out and the first thing they will say to their spouses is; "We never meant for this to happen." or "The heart wants what it wants."
    The reality is they both said "yes" to everything from flirting, to meeting secretly behind their spouses back, to opening up emotionally about their marriages, to kissing, and eventually having sex. It did not just "happen". Saying "yes" makes things happen!
    Not all flirting leads to cheating however it is a slippery slope because most new relationships do begin with flirting! If you're unhappy with the mate (you chose) for yourself then end that relationship. No one is stuck with anyone.

  4. mathira profile image84
    mathiraposted 4 years ago

    When you marry, your relationship with other men should be friendly but formal. How can another  man comment on your physical assets as he has no business to do it. Such relationship ruin your marriage and has a very short life span.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)