Tell me, guys.....What makes you fall in love with a woman?
In other words, what is that combination of "things" that "move" you and make you want to spend your life with her? And if you are married, what is it about your wife that endears you to her?
Wow! Lemme see... umm... wow!
Well, for me to fall in love, as in really fall in love, the attraction for the girl has to be complete.
First and foremost, there must be the mental or intellectual attraction. I love brains in girls. There are no two ways about that. Her world view and experience in life will also count.
Then secondly, her character and behavior. Decency matters a lot to me.
And of course...
We cannot neglect the physical attraction part. Different men have different things they find physically attractive in women. When I see what I like, I just know it!
I can only speak for myself, and I've been married for 32 years. My wife is undeniably attractive, but I was also impressed and attracted by her intelligence, humor, candor and courage. Years have passed, and I continue to be impressed. We've raised a daughter and son to adulthood and she remains a role model as a woman, a mother and a wife.
We were friends before we were anything more.
Having been married previously, I was comfortable in bachelorhood and wasn't looking for another, but that marriage ended amicably, Five years later, I met my current wife (an RN) in the work environment, a hospital. When she expressed an interest in sport parachuting, a coworker suggested she discuss it with me, since I was a USPA-licensed skydiver, and that was our first "date", a trip to a sport paracenter to take a closer look at the sport. In time, she made five jumps, and I was lastingly impressed. I enjoyed the time we spent together, sharing opinions and perspectives. I still do. I can't define what makes a man fall in love with a woman, but I have an inkling what make sustains that love: resilience in the face of difficulty and disappointment, humor in circumstances that need it, patience, grace under fire, and the self-awareness that our children are watching. We have different "buttons" and we make efforts not to offend each other, but we are candid with issues that some couples avoid. I never lose sight of the reality that my wife is a better person than I, and that she is the best part of my life. We still find reasons to laugh, things to celebrate, and my world is better because she's in it.
That was beautiful, Ed! Sounds like you're having a full life.
Sigh......This is one of the most beautiful, romantic things I have ever read written by a man describing "Love", his wife and marriage. There can't be a woman alive who would not be overwhelmed to hear her husband say these things!!
I agree with Paula, Edward. Your description of your wife is breathtaking. Thank you also, for providing me with a perfect example of a loving man. I am thrilled that you and your wife have a beautiful marriage.
Thank you for sharing your of the love of your life here so beautifully and honestly. It is refreshing to know of a man who is able to share the love in his heart for his wife. You are blessed in this life to find her, and she is blessed to have you
I'm 68 now and, as I look back, it has been an eventful life and I really do have a great many reasons to be thankful; my wife and children are at the top of the list.
You Fall. hmmmmm . . . I have always pondered falling in Love. I arrived upon a conclusion there may be difference between falling in Love and discovering Love with someone.
Answering the second question is realizing together you have discovered Love . . . together.
Hi tsmog....food for thought---about the non-falling thing. On the other hand, some say that "falling" is an appropriate term because of the "things" that happen in the brain when we initially "fall" in love. But "realizing" sounds more reasonable...
Very acquainted with all those synapses firing and those neurons transferring stuff chemically said with a giggle. With 'Discovering Love' I finally had to accept a resource for understanding and acceptance choosing 'The Four Loves' by C.S. Lewis :-)
To some degree I believe timing and a guys mindset/being open to falling in love plays a major roll. Oftentimes for example a young man fresh out of college may be more into hanging out with his friends, partying, establishing his career and therefore his approach to dating is more recreational.
When this is the case there is very little a woman can do to cause him to "fall in love". In fact it's not uncommon for some men to reflect back on some of their exes and affirm just how many wonderful traits they had but unfortunately the guy wasn't ready.
Having said that you have someone like George Clooney who was the world's #1 "Serial Monogamist" having one relationship after another while publicly stating multiple times he'd never marry again.
After dating Amal Alamuddin (for only 6 months) he proposed!
Just recently the Entertainment TV show asked him what made him fall in love with her. He said the following to ET's Nancy O'Dell:
"She's an amazing human being," . "And she's caring. And she also happens to be one of the smartest people I've ever met. And she's got a great sense of humor. There's a number of reasons why."
Now realistically there must have been at least one other woman out of all the women's he's dated who was an "amazing human being, caring, smart, and had a great sense of humor....etc"
Once you go beyond a man being physically attracted to a woman, her having a wonderful personality, a great sense of humor, chemistry, sharing the same values and so forth I believe it really just comes down to timing and a man's mindset. I don't believe there is a "magic formula".
One man's opinion
That's interesting, dashing. Clooney's answers were so "general," yet he adores Amal. As to mindset, that's another fascinating perspective. Do you not think that love comes upon us like lightening at times? True, formula has nothing to do with it.
I believe "infatuation" comes upon us like lightening sometimes. And yet I believe it's possible to be infatuated with someone but be a long ways from wanting to marry them. Almost all (new relationships) have elements of infatuation.
Yet, in Clooney's case, he got struck by Cupid almost immediately---and he was a confirmed bachelor! I would think he is not merely infatuated, but who knows. Thanks for answering, Dashing.
Her natural beauty inside and out, her realness, kindness, spirituality and her natural sex appeal.
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