What makes a person sexy, and can sexiness be learned or acquired?

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   savvydatingposted 9 years ago

   What makes a person sexy, and can sexiness be learned or acquired?
   
   Let's face it, there are individuals out there who don't rely on their beautiful abs or pretty faces to have great sex appeal. In fact, some beautiful people are about as sexy as snails. So....what combination of traits, characteristics or what have you, make some people wildly sexy? Obviously, confidence is very attractive----but what else?
   
   

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   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   A strong sense of self I think definitely helps.  That sort of ties into confidence, but to me, a person who knows who they are and is genuine and authentic is much sexier and appealing than someone who is more wishy washy or chameleon like in how they deal with people.  There's something about being unafraid to be who you are that is just fantastically sexy.  I also think those who are not overly concerned about the opinions of others can exude a sexiness (despite their looks).  I also find that people who try too hard to be sexy have the opposite effect.  Sex appeal is natural - you have it or you don't and I think that yes, some of it is obviously based on being physically attracted to someone, but most of it is just a vibe the person gives off.  It's hard to describe what "it" is exactly, but I know it when I see it.  This probably also explains why what people find sexy is not universal. 
   
   Oh and intelligence.  Nothing is more unattractive to me than a "pretty face" who happens to be (or worse pretends to be) dumb as a stump.

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      savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent answer. I couldn't agree with you more. And it's true, there is something "indefinable" about  someone who has that "vibe." Sometimes sexiness is in the eye of the beholder.

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   EuroCafeAuLaitposted 9 years ago

   I think sexiness and joy are closely related. That extra energy is something that ignites a spark between two people.  Joy comes from self appreciation, even if it is something you have to make yourself believe.  In fact we are all perfect creations, and when you feel that inner harmony, then the environment responds to it in a positive way. I personally think that the key to having a happy and harmonious romantic relationship(s) is to have a positive self esteem, regardless of one's flaws, and to be committed to perpetual self-improvement while appreciating one's present status of being.

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      savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate that you said "regardless of one's flaws." I believe that we are almost never "perfect," but we can be perfectly sexy----in moments, if not always (Always is rare) but that sexiness is,in part, an acceptance of one's self. Thanks, Ana K.

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   word55posted 9 years ago

   Sexiness is natural. You don't need to learn or acquire it. From a guys point of a woman, she doesn't need to anything but bring out the uniqueness of herself naturally and with what she has: good looks, intelligence, sense of humor and sweet personality. Of course, she can enhance her sexiness by taking good care of herself and keeping clean. Personally, I look to see natural sexiness in every aspect of a woman from head to toes. I think pretty, soft hands and  feet on a woman are extra natural, sexy attractions even without polishings and embellishing. A smoking woman is not sexy at all. In fact, smoking subtracts sexiness and class. An excessive drinking woman is not sexy at all, either.

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      savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      A woman who is classy is very sexy, as is a man. I believe that through education and humility, classiness, hence, sexiness can be acquired. It also helps if one's parents had "class." What do you think, word55?

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      word55posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I go along with that savvydating. Thank you for asking.

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   moonfrothposted 9 years ago

   Initially, it's physical.  "It" has to start somewhere!  Each of us has some magic criterion, a 'starter trigger' that turns us on, quickens the pace of our 'precious bodily fluids' (to steal a line from "Dr. Strangelove").  A female friend tells me that Clint Eastwood's WALK drives her crazy.  Another tells me that Jack Palance dismounting from his horse in the classic Western, "Shane", is "the sexiest moment in the history of film."   I go nuts over breasts and long legs..........on girls, that is.  So after the initial 'trigger'--and assuming you can get in the presence of this gorgeous piece--one of two things happens:  1]  the initial trigger is all you need.  No matter what, As you interact with this person and other characteristics emerge, you remain drawn to them sexually.  In the primitive beginnings of our species, I doubt that sexiness got beyond this stage,  Attraction probably led quickly to copulation, because the imperative back then had nothing to do with social niceties, it had to do with increasing the population.  Period.  In our modern era, sexual attraction is more complicated.  If my busty gazelle-legged woman has a voice like a screech owl, is vain beyond description, and spends all her time putting everyone else down.......I'm quickly turned OFF.  In my case, my SECONDARY criteria for sexiness must be met for the attraction to continue
   
   [Aside.  Most honest men are pretty basic creatures when it comes to sexual attraction.  Whether said in words (to a male companion) or said to oneself, first thought is "wow!  I'd love to screw THAT!"  The coarse language is needed here to capture the thought--that's how 'basic' it is!
   Women who've discussed this topic with me are much more sophisticated.  Where men just want to 'get in there', women's sexual triggers, even initially, seem more long-term.  Part of what turns them on sexually is an ineffable sense that this guy would be a good father, will stick by them, will be a true mate, physically, emotionally, and functionally. ]  End of aside
   
   Okay, back to secondary criteria of  sexiness. 2]  smile and openness.  For me, a woman's smile reveals her spirit.  An open, genuine, frequent smile signals a woman confident within herself and openly interested in  the people around her.  She needn't be full of confidence, but to keep my interest she must be CURIOUS and eager to know more.....about everything.  These qualities give heart and spirit to all those breasts and long legs................

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      savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Moonfroth, you are so awesome. Seriously, you know how to pinpoint the obvious. No hedging around for you. Needless to say, I believe you understand how men and women view sexiness---and those reasons are different....but in a good & necessary wa

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   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   I believe "sexy" is much like "beauty" in that it's in the eye of the beholder. Most of us have experienced admiring someone while a friend or other person said; "I don't see it!" LOL!
   I suppose each of us has our own subliminal cues or triggers when we see others that registers high on the sex appeal chart. It may be one's confidence, sense of humor, the way they dress, their overall personality, and even their outlook on life. Nevertheless facial features and body type generally play a significant part as well.
   Ultimately no one is going to get the universal stamp of approval when it comes to being sexy. Therefore we're all probably better off being the best person we can be.
   Thankfully there are over 7 Billion on the planet and the odds are in our favor that more than a few will find each of us sexy.

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      savvydatingposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that sexy is in the eye of the beholder. Your advice to be the best person we can be is fantastic. Great answer, dashingscorpio!

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