Which is more important to a relationship: Finding someone you love or someone w

1. 67

   Beyond-Politicsposted 9 years ago

   Which is more important to a relationship: Finding someone you love or someone who loves you? Why?
   
   There's an old saying among the older generation: "Never look for someone you love; find someone who loves YOU."  Given the reality that the person we love is neither guaranteed or even obligated to love us back the same why, which is more important to you (and why)....finding someone you love, or finding someone who loves YOU?
   
   

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2. 88

   Sherry Hewinsposted 9 years ago

   I think most people would be better off going with some one who loves them, but most people go with the one they love, no matter if that person does not reciprocate.
   
   If you love someone who does not love you, it does not bode well for your future happiness.

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3. 80

   Happy Momentposted 9 years ago

   You are more secure when you are in a relationship with a person who loves you more than you do because he/she will never hurt you and will always work to impress you.

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Aaah: But does being more secure equate to being "happy"?
      Is it fair to one's spouse to marry them without being "in love" with them? I imagine they'd want someone who is "in love" with them also! Would you stay if you knew your mate didn't?

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4. 69

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   
   
   There has to be a balance of both to be happy long-term.
   If you're not "in love" with someone eventually it will show in how you behave with them. People who want the kind of love that (they) themselves are unwilling to give are essentially selfish cowards.
   Most likely they had their heart broken and promised never to allow themselves to be as "vulnerable" again or be "all in" with anyone.
   It takes more (courage) to fall "in love" a second or third time than it does the very first time. With each breakup we carry some baggage.
   Oftentimes we enter into a new relationship without detoxing our past.
   A person who is NOT "in love" is far more likely to cheat, be abusive, or inconsiderate of one's feelings. They can "take you or leave you".
   "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
   - Oscar Wilde
   However if (you) are not "in love" with your mate odds are you'll be fantasizing about being with someone who really does melt your heart or excite you! There's a good chance you'd consider cheating.
   People cheat in order to stay in or tolerate unhappy marriages.
   Not being "in love" with your spouse is ultimate definition of "settling"!
   The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!
   One man's opinion!

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5. 87

   liesl5858posted 9 years ago

   I think for me, it will be a bit of both. You can't stay with someone too long if there is only one loving you or the other. Love has to be balanced between couples, otherwise the relationship won't last long. It is good to think that your other half loves you but you must also reciprocate that love to make the relationship solid and worth keeping. What I mean really is love for each other should be balanced and not only one party giving the love.

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   DDEposted 9 years ago

   Most individuals would prefer someone who loves them. I prefer to have someone who loves me and I love them back. Love works both ways.
   An example:
   I know of a couple who recently married. She loves him and he see her as a helper. He don't love her. His heart don't belong with her. His empathetic behavior shows he cares. One person loves the other while the other sits by and expects everything be that way is not a normal kind of relationship.

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