Do you believe gay men and lesbian women can have children and still be homosexu

1. 91

   Kylyssaposted 8 years ago

   Do you believe gay men and lesbian women can have children and still be homosexual?
   
   I recently learned that some people believe the act of reproduction (producing a child, even through artificial insemination) makes an otherwise gay person at least partially heterosexual. I do not believe this but I'm curious as to what makes other people think this.
   
   If you think that the act of reproduction makes a gay person at least bisexual, please explain why you believe this. If you don't, please explain why you don't.
   
   
   Image: Freeimages.com/Alicia Hylton
   
   
   
   

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2. 91

   lisavollrathposted 8 years ago

   Homosexuality is sexual attraction between people of the same gender. A person can be sexually attracted to a person of their same gender, and still want to be a parent, which is a biological urge, not a sexual one. Having a child does not require a person to change their attractions. A woman can be a lesbian, have a partner who is a woman, get inseminated, and have a child, all without any sort of interaction with someone of the same gender. She's still a lesbian. It's not like she's going to become pregnant, and suddenly need a man in her life!
   
   This sounds like an argument presented by people who feel procreation is strictly heterosexual, and so the desire to procreate must also be strictly heterosexual. Nothing could be further from the truth. Gay people can become parents through a variety of means that don't require sexual intercourse, or even contact with a person of another gender.
   
   Gay is gay, even when it comes to becoming a parent.

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      "This sounds like an argument presented by people who feel procreation is strictly heterosexual, and so the desire to procreate must also be strictly heterosexual." - It seems likely. I'd never heard the myth before until just a few days ago.

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3. 67

   FeniqueSposted 8 years ago

   First this is a good thought provoking question.  I don't know much of the homosexual/lesbian stages/levels, I'm not sure what you would call the different ....?  I was going to say types, but sounds like they are not human so that's not good.  But to all those within this community please forgive me on that. 
   Your question does prove it does take two of the opposite kind for reproduction.  This is my personal view of this.  If producing a child/baby through artificial insemination or even through a surrogate person.  I do think the person is still homosexual/lesbian.  But to produce by the act with an opposite sex then they, I would think be bisexual. And the child produced would be the one whose egg or sperm was used, bloodline and not that of the partners. Unless they adopt the child.  But, many courts  will see the child as the biological parent and not the other. 
   
   Now as to why.  In producing with artificial insemination or surrogate they are not with the opposite sex.  My understanding is person that are homosexual/lesbian have no attraction or want of the opposite sex.  But to produce from the act of reproduction would change to being bisexual.  But more on the homosexual/lesbian side. 
   If that makes sense and if this is allowed and accepted within the homosexual/lesbian community.  Its a guesstimate for me.

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks you. I'm of the opinion it requires being attracted to the opposite sex to be heterosexual and parenting urges are separate from sexual attraction. I ran into the idea that having kids made one hetero in some way for the 1st time recently.

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   2. 67

      FeniqueSposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      ok thank you.  I'm not versed in the ways of the gay community, so was not sure at all.  But thank you again, I love learning new information.

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4. 0

   PeterStipposted 8 years ago

   I do not get the question. What has sexual preference and raising a child have to do with each other ?
   If you are gay you fall in love and have sex with a person of the same sex.
   This is something that has to do with feelings.
   If a Lesbian decides to have a child and let herself get inseminated, then this is purely a technical thing she does not have to go to bed with a guy.
   
   For arguments sake. some woman are getting pregnant because of rape. Does this mean that the woman loved the rape so much that she became pregnant. Of course not. (if she was wise she had taken an abortion)
   Love and getting pregnant are two different things.
   
   Just with a gay couple (two men or two woman.) They love each other and find a different way to get a child.
   
   I have a couple of Gay friends who are parents, and they do great and they never became heterosexual because they are parents now. (bit of a silly thought if you ask me)

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The question was inspired by a comment thread on another question. I'd never heard of the concept before. You can see the discussion at this Q&A: http://hubpages.com/relationships/answe … #rc_225151

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5. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   Sexual orientation has nothing to do with parenting.
   Every gay and lesbian person is the product of a heterosexual union even if it's in-vitro. Otherwise gays & lesbians adopt children.
   Gays and lesbians cannot produce children without assistance.
   There have also been many instances of people who got married, had children, and later in life realized the reason they were unhappy was because they had denied their true selves.
   Eventually they announced they were gay.
   Meredith Baxter (actress) who played the mother on "Family Ties" sitcom is one example of someone who came out in  Dec. 2009.
   She recently wed her long-time partner Nancy Locke in 2013. Prior to marrying Nancy, Meredith has been (married three different times).
   She first wed Robert Lewis Bush in 1966. They were married for three years and had two children together. Meredith was then married to David Birney for 16 years before divorcing in 1990 — David is the father of Meredith’s three other children — and in 1995, Meredith married Michael Blodgett. Meredith and Michael were together until getting divorced in the year 2000.
   Altogether she had 5 children while married to three men!

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your insight. I wonder what leads some to believe that the desire and ability to reproduce must indicate some degree of heterosexuality?

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   2. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Those are probably the same people who view marriage as something that is (only between a man and a woman). Human beings generally want the same experiences, benefits, and rights regardless of their sexual orientation.

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   3. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I think you're right. I think maybe it comes from the same thought processes as people asking why gay people would want to marry, as if it wouldn't be for the exact same reasons heteros marry.

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      mtkomoriposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Good point! I really like the above picture of two women. Is it a picture of yourself and your partner?

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   5. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      mtkomori , No, it's a photo of the actress Meredith Baxter (in black) who played the role of the mother to Michael J. Fox's character on the TV show "Family Ties" during the 1980s in the U.S.

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6. 76

   jlparkposted 8 years ago

   As a gay woman, and a parent, I am in a unique position to answer this as someone who knows if their sexual orientation changed when they became pregnant or a parent.
   
   No, it does not.
   
   I am still gay, but I am a mother. I carried a child for almost 9 months, that is now 1.5yrs old. She calls me Mummy and my wife Mama - and is happiest when singing, dancing or having cuddles.  I NEVER had sex with a man to conceive her, in fact have never prior to that, nor will ever after that unless it is non-consentual. Yes, we required some assistance from a fertility clinic, and a lovely person who wished to help a couple like us conceive using their donation/s. We can also have the same for future siblings.
   
   So am I bi or heterosexual? Not in the slightest.
   Am I a mother? I am.
   Am I a biological mother? Yup,
   Am I as gay as a rainbow? You betcha.
   
   Conception has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation, and these days thanks to science, doesn't have to have anything to do with sex either - for straight couples and gay couples. (and for some...a turkey baster and a donor is all one needs....).
   
   Also, sex isn't about sexual orienation or emotion or anything bar the act of sex for some people - if they have had sex with a consenting person for the SOLE purpose of conceiving (and both people know this is the purpose)....it can just be the act of sex - neither needs to be attracted to each other (and hell, can be thinking of other people to make it 'happen') - they can just 'do it'...and still be gay. I wouldn't, and couldn't, but I'm not every gay woman - I can only speak for me.
   Sexual Orientation is about attraction, not the act itself....
   
   Kylyssa - In relation to the comments that prompted this question - from my question -  I think he finally understands that being gay doesn't make one infertile. And that one doesn't need to have sex to get pregnant these days. I'm just astounded that he hadn't figured that out from my FIRST (or yours!) comment!

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your insight. I was surprised to find a few myths that I'd never encountered before in that discussion. Your question really got a lot of people thinking and talking and that's great!

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   2. 76

      jlparkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Same here! That was the point of the question - to find out what theories were out there....there are some interesting ones'

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7. 82

   peachpurpleposted 8 years ago

   When two men wanted to have kids, one of them get a  surrogate mom to give birth the baby and paid her. Otherwise, adopt a child like elton john

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Indeed. And it doesn't change anybody's orientation to raise kids. Thank you for your answer.

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8. 55

   bluesradioposted 8 years ago

   I have some gay and lesbian friends who are parents, and as best as I can tell, they are truly amazing parents who truly love their kids and do a care job of being caretakers to them?  And, in the end picture, isn't that the most important thing...Not whether they are gay or not?

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. I wonder why people have a hard time with this idea and where such myths come from?

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9. 77

   stevesoposted 8 years ago

   Sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with raising children. This question reminds me of a discussion I had with a well educated religious friend of mine many years ago. She made a statement about the fact she knew that it was biologically impossible for gays to have children! I could not convince her otherwise!

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   1. 91

      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Isn't it an odd myth? That's why I'm so curious about where it comes from and what reasoning went into believing it. Thanks for your input!

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10. 72

    Shyron E Shenkoposted 8 years ago

    Yes, gay people can procreate, unless one is sterile.  I don't think that it will change their beliefs or how they feel and all of a sudden cause either to become attracted to the opposite sex.
    If a woman gets artificially inseminated then a man only needs to be the sperm donator not a sexual partner even for the purpose of procreation.
    And regardless the act will not change either one's sexual preference.

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    1. 91

       Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Indeed. I found the myth both fascinating and puzzling because it seems so obvious to me that the biological process of gestation is separate from the neurological, mental, and emotional factors determining who a person can fall in love with.

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11. 79

    Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years ago

    This reminds me of Rita Mae Brown's book, "Six of One".  Some of the main characters are a lesbian couple.  One woman has a brief secret affair with her lover's brother and gets pregnant.  The community is surprised, and her lover brags, "You didn't think I could do it, did you?". She never states what she thought of the affair.

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