jump to last post 1-3 of 3 discussions (4 posts)

Do you think that children hold a marriage together?

  1. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 12 months ago

    Do you think that children hold a marriage together?

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/12728284_f260.jpg

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 12 months ago

    https://usercontent1.hubstatic.com/13509502_f260.jpg

    No, Maybe in past generations couples "stayed together for the sake of the children". In those days if there was an unplanned pregancy many couples would get married.
    Today the connection of marriage and children isn't nearly as interwined as it use to be.
    Divorce rates have been reported to hover around 50% and one report showed that (women) initiate the filing of divorce {66% or 2/3rds of the time} in the U.S.
    It's been speculated that better career opportunities and higher pay has given today's women more finacial independence than their grandmothers and greatgrandmothers had. Essentially in the 1960s and prior many women relied on their husbands financially. This may have prompted many of them to stay in unhappy or unfilling marriages.
    The more options one has the less crap they will put up with!
    In addition many therarpist believe it's better for the children not to live in a toxic household. "Children would rather be from a broken home than to live in one."
    Lastly for any couple who intentionally gets pregnat with the hope that it will "save their marriage" clearly is unaware of the amount of stress that comes with raising children.
    No child should be used as a "pawn" or "savior" for any relationship or marriage.

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      A+!

  3. tamarawilhite profile image91
    tamarawilhiteposted 11 months ago

    Sixty years ago, I'd say yes because divorcing a woman with a child would have been anathema.
    Today, no, heck no. I have seen people get divorced because of children.
    * Multiple cases where he didn't want children, she said she didn't, did want children, got pregnant and had it, assumed he'd be happy, he left because of her betrayal
    * They had a rocky situation, she has a baby on the assumption it helps instead of counseling or solving their root conflicts. Now you add sleepless nights, more financial stress and "I have to ignore you to take care of the baby". The load of a dependent child broke the man's back and he left.

    The only variation of your theme I have seen in modern life is people who wait until all the children are out of the house or last ones are teens to get divorced. The last thing they had in common walked out the door, there's no risk now the father loses access to his children, and then they divorce. In THOSE cases, the children do keep the decaying relationship together until adulthood.

 
working