Does everyone deserve to be loved for who they are, flaws & all?

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   H.C Porterposted 14 years ago

   I have been told a time or two, You are a difficult to love....
   Has anyone else been told this by a spouse-parent-friend etc?
   I have wondered for a considerable amount of time-what makes someone hard to love? Is it a particular personality trait?
   Does everyone deserve to be happy and experience being loved for who they are...good, bad, beauty and flaws? Or does love come with demands that result in a person giving up what they are passionate about in order to maintain love, peace and happiness within a relationship?

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      shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thats like asking what is the meaning of life and everything!
      
      No actually, you cant control your environment and those around you but you can yourself.  If you learn to love yourself and value yourself, everything else will fall into place.
      
      One certain thing is... dont have expectations of others, you will set yourself up for hurt and failure.  Just take people for who they are and they will do the same with you.  You will no longer be hard to love x

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         Arthur Fontesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Very wise response

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         BBCGposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Actually, this one is easy....The answer is 42...

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            Peter Hogganposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            That would only be true if the world was controlled by mice not men... ok 42 it is then!

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            shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            another hitch hikers guide fan eh?  hehehe...
            
            The babel fish tells me not to read the poetry on here! lol only joking!

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         Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Ditto. Yet this is one of the hardest things to learn in this life, if not The Hardest.

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            shazwellynposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, it is all about knowing that you are an o.k. person - self actualisation.  x

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         rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         shaz has said it perfectly. love yourself first, flaws and all.

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         lilidauphinposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Very good.

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hey H.C.Porter, people who try to make people conform to their liking is selfish.
      
      Does everyone deserve to be loved for who they are, flaws & all?
      
      YES! They should be loved for who they are and not for any other reason. If the whole package isn't loveable, then the love itself isn't of value and won't bring happiness.
      
      For someone who is struggling with who they are(not you) can be very difficult to understand. There isn't any unselfish reason for trying to control another person or make them bend.
      
      I am of the understanding that love is an equal two-way street and there is give and take on both sides, but your passion for life shouldn't be muffled, because others want things their own way.
      
      I hope I helped.

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         H.C Porterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         As always, that was a great response- exactly the point of view statement I was looking for.
         I guess I should of clarified to everyone I wasnt asking if 'I' am difficult to love...I already know the answer to that...LOL...
         I am a handful and will challenge anyone willing to try...lol.
         Just kidding, I am blessed and surrounded by love 
         Thank you for responding, I do, greatly appreciate your answer 

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            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Whenever you need anything and I can help, feel free to contact me.
            
            You're welcome.

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      Hmrjmr1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Was for me a sign that love is true..
      Loved just for what you are.
      Being loved will make you grow,
      sometimes it will change you
      but not because someone wants the change or worse demands it
      you just grow in the love that increases every day because you are you...

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      wsp2469posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You very well could be difficult to love.
      Personally, I look for women who love me because of my good points and love me despite my bad ones.
      You can f8ck all sorts of people but loving and living with someone is a whole 'nother challenge!

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         Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I just love your avatar dude! look like a young clint eastwood

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      Life as I see Itposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes I have been told I am difficult to love also. I embrace that! Good my love is amazing and it should be difficult to love me because once you do you will never stop!! That's how I feel. Be yourself... Love yourself.  We all have flaws that make things hard for others but don't change yourself in hopes to find love because you don't want that love than. Real love is just what it means real.

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      Mamelodyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      that was very mean for that person who said that to you. Love is a difficult thing to do but everyone deserves it at some point in life.

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      double_frickposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i actually went to a psychic with my boyfriend and she told him it didn't matter who he chose to be with (or who chose to be with him) he would "be happy"
      but
      no matter who i wound up with i would be unhappy because i'm incapable of loving and being loved. :*(  i think she may have even said i have a dark entity preventing healing??? i don't know, i do know she was so generous to offer "healing" me for $250. 
      
      too bad i didn't have the money.
      i'm still awfully unlovable.
      
      and yet my boyfriend still loves me.
      maybe she was right. LOL 
      
      anyways, she could have said this to anyone and probably been right. most people have flaws big enough for someone to find completely revolting. of course those same flaws are palatable enough for others to look past them and see the beautiful, redeeming qualities (everyone has those as well)
      
      i think while many relationships can be worked through if both people wish to i also think that sometimes two people just aren't meant for each other and neither person should feel bad or make the other one feel bad by blaming them (you) for something that is nobody's fault.
      
      people loved charles manson.
      people loved adolf hitler.
      
      people most certainly love you. i see a lot of caring going on here in this very thread.
      
      so whomever told you these things was probably just trying to distract themselves from feeling that way about themselves.

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      Madison22posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, they should be loved for who they are.  Unless of course their flaws and behaviors hurt others physically and emotionally.  In my opinion love should not come with such demands that would make one give up what they are passionate about. I have been told once or twice that I am difficult to love by my husband when I have been moody but, by no means does that mean that he does not love me or has stopped. And gosh, I've told him a thing or two. But at the end of the night or the next day lol, I love him for exactly who he is.

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      ashelladyhawkeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I too feel this way. I wonder why--what have I done in this life to deserve such treatment. Was I too nice, did I do care too much, what? There are no answers--just questions.

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   marcel285posted 14 years ago

   H.C Porter, do you find love tough yourself??

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   TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years ago

   Yes, everyone deserves to be loved. But that doesn't mean it's easy to do.

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      H.C Porterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      what do you mean?

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         TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I mean I live with a man, and since we're both human I assume we're both flawed...and we do NOT have an easy time living with one another I was actually reacting in more of a personal than universal way...since we had a big argument today.

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   Colebabieposted 14 years ago

   Depends on what the flaw is.

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   H.C Porterposted 14 years ago

   I have never set standards for another person- for the very reason that, when you set those expectations-you are ultimately setting that person up to fail and in your eyes-they will never be 'good enough'(and of no fault of their own).
   
   Do I find love hard? Hmmmm? No-not really. It has taken time for me to accept myself for who I am- and be okay with who I am (flaws included). Nor do I feel as if I am overly critical of others and their personality traits which I may not be fond of. If anything, I love and trust with out giving enough hesitation...
   
   
   This post wasn't really about me per-say, I was just thinking about it and wanted to know other peoples stance on the issue.

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   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   Um. Of course

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   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   aaww. 

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   blondepoetposted 14 years ago

   In some-body’s heart,
   You blossom so fair,
   There is some-one to love you,
   Somewhere out there.

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      Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      So true!

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   Bill Manningposted 14 years ago

   Life is not fair. There are some people that are very hard to even get along with, let alone love. If your a down type of person, always seeing everything in a negative way, your going to have a hell of a time finding anyone to love you!
   
   Also, nobody "deserves" anything. Like I said, life is not fair. If you happen to meet the person that clicks with you and you both are happy, great.
   
   But that does not mean anyone "deserves" what they get, good or bad. It just,,,,, is.

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      PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Agree with this. 

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    dave272727posted 14 years ago

    I believe that everyone has there someone.  I don't believe they always find them.  Timing, distance, language, any of these could be obstacles that are too big to be overcome by just love.  To answer your question, everyone deserves to have that feeling.  To be in a relationship that allows them to be who they are.  Not what the other person wants them to be.

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    Tadeusz598posted 14 years ago

    No. Some people are scum, and better avoided.

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       cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       i agree!

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    yenajeonposted 14 years ago

    I've been told this as well. I think its because I have this mentality of expecting so much from everyone. (I'm a Virgo) and on top of that I am very stubborn and like things my way. Its possible for someone to truly love you as you are, but to acknowledge that these traits can drive them crazy!

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    Love is hard, but it should be unconditional ..
    
    if we all loved a bit more , just think of how much less hate we would have to deal with..
    
    I know, in a perfect world, and it will never happen..but it is a good thought

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    zzronposted 14 years ago

    Yes everybody does.

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    Woman Of Courageposted 13 years ago

    Yes everyone deserves to be loved, because every single person has flaws.

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