This question comes up in one of my numerous session with my Female workshop on issues confronting the women fold in regards to marriages and relationship. Pls your contributions are welcome.
To start with it doesn't matter if you are male or female, when you are seeking a soul-mate. The first and most important thing to do is a self evaluation. You simply have to know who YOU are, what YOU want, what are YOUR interests, YOUR values, YOUR beliefs, what makes YOU happy. Then you have to live your life engaging in those pursuits and meeting people with the same interests, values, likes and dislikes. Of course there will still be differences in those things and as long as your prospective mate is of good character, it shouldn't matter much.
All you have to do is smile at me and you have Mr. Right!
I think you should ask the guys this question. Whether that guy is Mr. Right will be determined after attracting the guys.
Well Fightkeeper, thanks for your response but the issue is how do I attract the guy that I desire in heart first before we can be talking about being determined. she just want to know the necessary steps to take to attract the love of her heart.
But how do you know the guy is Mr. Right until you attract many guys. I guess, I'm one of those people who think you have to find out what guys look for in a girl so that they can go up to you and then I find out whether they're right for me.
Oh well, just my 2 cents.
But I think that you cannot know guy from afar. that is why is very imperative for a to a lady to get connected before you begin to peruse for right or not. or what do you think?
Of course you don't know a guy from afar, that's why you have to attract them so that you can get to know them. In order to attract them, you have to find out what they're looking for in a woman.
I don't see how you can connect to a guy who hasn't come up to you.
I, as a guy, agree with Poppa Blues. If you're happy with yourself, a guy can tell. Confidence, humor and a smile are like honey to the guys. If you do attract one you need to determine the answers to three questions before you commit: Has he ever been in prison? Where did you meet this Romeo? and Where does he live? You sound like a winner so I wouldn't worry if I were you.
Hi Tobey, I wasn't asking the question, karobi was. I think we were differing about approach. It's easy to attract any guy but if you're looking for a particular type of guy then you have to know what they want. So I agree with Poppa B as well.
But it is important to find out if he's ever been in prison, or ever been a hatchet murderer, or anything like that
Sorry, posted the comment in the wrong spot. Since I'm latched on to ya, I agree with you as well. But, what do I know. My wife cut me from the herd and before I really knew what was going on I had three kids and a mortgage.
If he has been in prison, why? Is it in the past now?
Yep, and what was he in prison for? If he embezzled 10 million and they only found 2, he's probably got 8 million stashed somewhere. You may want to hang on to him.
I don't know. Wish i did..Then maybe my man wouldn't have left me. I want to get him back. So if anyone has some answers to this question, would be great to know.
Marcel285, you see I have counsel a lot of ladies but just of a recent one of them in a workshop posted this question to me and we actually treat it there that is i decided to post it here to hear others view too because no one is an island of knowledge. However, Poppablues post is a good one. you can see it on top.
All the ladies in my own town seem to go for the men that like beating them up, having affairs or stealing all their money. They have been conditioned by Hollywood and dumb magazines so they think a good looking man will make a good husband. He usually won't!
Dressing well makes a huge impression with guys. Looks aren't so important - every women has something that a man will like the look of.
simple.. flash your tits and he'll be there faster than the speed of light!
that's if you have a good pair.. if it's the flaccid ones then well bad news for you then
that wouldn't attract Mr Right !
that would, Mr. Quicky !
i know I want passion, great sex, great companionship, trust, loyalty, respect, a partner, but I also attract mr. wrong someway or another. I give what I receive.
I think what tends to happen is we are attracted to a person and are blinded by that attraction. We don't evaluate the relationship objectively and only react emotionally, or physically this is why relationships fail. When the love feels so good we don't question the rest if that makes sense.
Popa Blues, You now coming to where I expected people to talk about rather they focus on the physical attraction only but I believe ther is what we call intellectual attraction and this aspect of attraction in a relationship is very important because when the physical fade away the intellectual hold because that is real you which i think ladies should take time to develop rather than focusing physical all their life. Poppablues lets talk more
I would say that attracting Mr. Right takes being Miss. Right.
Know who you are and what you want, but do not pine away after having a man. That will only attract the needy ones. If you know the type of man you are looking for, pursue places where that type of man congregates and observe. It shouldn't take long before a few of them show the other qualities you are looking for. When they do, get to know them.
Like Popa Blues said, know your values and what you want out of life.
Don't settle for a man who is willing to leave his dreams to pursue yours. Choose someone who is going the same direction as you already.
Develop yourself; learn who you are and how to like/love/be comfortable with yourself. Learn to stand on your own two feet. Develop your interests. Be confident, NOT desperate.
The time one spends developing these things will lead to deep self-knowledge and love...out of this will come the confidence that will attract another person. If you can actually manage to focus on yourself and your interests, instead of "finding someone," someone who shares those interests, who notices your confidence, and who finds you intriguing will probably fall in your lap. We've all heard the people who say "When I gave up looking for love, that's when I found it."
Live and live well...A life lived well cannot help but attract a mate who is also living well.
At least, that's my two cents for what it's worth
Hi GlassSpider, Sorry I was out for a business. it is nice to hear from you and I agree with your view because as those scientist will always say, 'positive attracts positive while negative attracts negative. So the ladies should take their time to develop the attributes they want from their Mr Right, definitely their heart desire mr right will be attracted to them.
Hi Karobi, thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked the post...really, I think this goes for anybody who wants to live well. One shouldn't be selfish or anything, but the law of attraction (as you mentioned) tells us how easy it is to bring what we want to ourselves.
It's good to see you around! I hope business is going well.
What a juicy question.
Females need to think like a man. If they could spend the day living inside the mind of a man they will discover the male mind isn't as complex as their own.
Men like things simple. Just keep upper most in your mind the following three golden rules -
1. Men don't like fat.
2. Men don't like old.
3. Men don't like intelligence.
So, the next time you meet a ravishing man ensure you respect the three golden rules. Everything else is superfluous nonsense.
Oh bugger, that's me right out of the running then
As a woman I would have to agree with number 3. So many men seem to keep intelligence as far away from themselves as humanly possible, especially out of their heads (either of them)...But since there are so many fat, old men out there...I'd have to debate about one and two
Debate all you like, as long as you accept you will lose.
Lets analyse the fat man versus the fat woman, shall we?
1. Who is least attractive?
The fat man invariably will be taller than the fat woman (This is a by-product of evolutionary biology). Fat distributed over and around a taller form is easier on the eye. Therefore, the man can comfortably take on board increased fat deposits before his 'fat repulsive-ness' shows itself in the same way that a fat woman's does. Also, do remember that a female already has higher fat deposits (again the result of evolutionary biology) on her body to begin with.
Conclusion : The fat female has lost before the contest has even began. She reaches the 'deplorably disgusting to behold stage' long before the man does.
2. Who is the least attractive in terms of their visual appearance (not based on fatness) but based on how they have aged?
The old man will invariably be losing his hair. The same can't be said for the female. So, the female wins, right? Sadly not. Because, genetically the man actually ages at a slower rate than the female. The etched lines of age that appear on a mans countenance frequently lend a distinguished air that is not seen in the equivalent female. Frankly, when a female looks old, she looks a dog. This descent into looking a dog usually hits most females in their late thirties. But men in their late thirties, even if they are showing some signs of balding, still look rather spiffing. When the female hits 40, she's all but finished. Fit only for the scrapheap. A man, however, continues to shine well into his 50's. Some even improve with age... which is something that could never be ascribed to a female as she gets old.
Ultimate conclusion : If you're old and fat and you're female - is there any real point in you even existing?
It's brutal conclusion I grant you, but one which clearly has scientific evidence to back it up.
LMAO...Wow! I thought I took things too seriously. Max...it was a JOKE. I suggest you try to find your sense of humor, dude.
ETA: The fact that it was a joke doesn't mean I agree with you by any stretch of the imagination either. I just know better than to waste my time and intelligence with someone who claims to actually believe something like that.
It's not belief, it's fact.
Consider it an education for the fatty females. By raising their awareness that their blubbery-ness is not tolerated by men (and also making them aware that drawing comparisons between themselves and a fat man are not valid) it might force them to go on a diet.
Fat females throughout the world should kiss me for this public service I'm offering them.
Not him again sigh.
You bet I will you are one hundred times a man.Thank god for a gem like Hokey.
exactly! I have a strange feeling of deja vous....
yes, this very same conversation....the exact same words.....now if only I had the will to find that thread.....nah, can't be bothered...!
Good morning MOW you are exactly right, I myself can't see myself having this same conversation, arguement with that ole prune Max again
Not sure he's old enough to be a prune. Maybe not wrinkled, but definitely flabby, pallid and not in the least attractive.
I didn't think it would take long for the girl who is so in love with her own reflection to make an appearance.
Wouldn't your time be better spent working on that love-less marriage of yours?
I bet that you are 495 pounds and live in a nursing home. You don't like yourself so to have fun you try to make other people feel bad about themselves. Either that or you are an egomaniac which makes you just plain ugly anyway and so you have no friends.
Well, I would not wish to get anywhere within reach of a flabby man like you, Maximus, especially since you appear far too juvenile for my tastes as well. If I have them young, I want them fit, which you obviously are not. Good luck in your hunting, maybe a desperate woman will choose you sometime.
if i may interject, i would have to say that those aren't my criterias for a woman. don't get me wrong, I'm not saying i'm different from other guys in the sense where I sure as heck don't mind looking at a pretty girl that passes my way. however, when it comes to picking out a girl to date, then i usually prefer to look at the girl's personality first. as most women i found, don't understand me at all, or they misinterpret things about me. Plus, if the woman is a complete and utter b**ch or an air head, then I wouldn't date her. i wouldn't care how hot they were or how good they were allegedly during sex either. Sure, they might be easy on the eyes, but that's not important to me or to some men. speaking for myself, i usually prefer women that are smart, caring, understanding. especially, when it comes to how i am. lol. in fact, that's a huge turn on for me. she doesn't have to be the prettiest gal in the world either. she just has to be someone that I'm compatible with. that's all. after all, its as a wise man once said, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
That would be because you're a real man, Steven, and you know something about what is *actually* valuable in this world of ours.
wow, thanks gs. i really do appreciate you saying that.
Aww. You're welcome, Steven.
well, i must say gs, i think any guy would find you to be a catch.
*blushes* Well thank you, Steven. That just made my day! And to think...we've never had to see each other to get to know some of the more important aspects of one another. Amazing how that works, isn't it?
lol. yeah, i can't argue with you about that. however, im sure in real life your just as lovely as your personality is.
Thank *whoever* that I've never met such a shallow and insipid man. And yes Max, they exist. Which is more the pity.
Maxipus - thanks for the clarification.
Though I'm sure (beyond bedroom olympics) it would be rather more sociable for the pair if the woman could say a little more than 'huh?' or 'yeahhhhh'.
Make sure you know what you want in a 'Mr. Right'
Be unattainable, yet show the confidence of a woman who knows how wonderful she is. (note.. do not confuse this with being a snob).
Do this for a long enough time, and you will attract men.
Pick from those who are attracted to you (after STEP THREE) based on the criteria you set out in STEP ONE
I like women with a bit of meat on them!
(as long as this meat is not hanging in between their legs, of course)
So does my brother! He called me the other day to say he was dating the cutest girl he had ever met. She is cute. She is also 5'3" and 180ish pounds. He finds her shape just right!
I've dated a lot of unattractive 'beautiful woman', as well as some very sexy ladies of different sizes.
In the end, we all turn out old and grey and withered. The body ages, but sexy is forever.
Sexy has a very finite window.
That window is much smaller for females than it is for men. Despite being smaller for the female, it often has a much greater intensity while it lasts. And that's the key - 'while it lasts' - because once it's over, once the window of sexyness closes, that's it, it can never be opened.
Whereas the window for men seldom peaks at the same intensity, it's decline is much much slower... this often why you see females get so enraged when justifiable criticisms are thrown at them because they are either disgustingly fat or just old. They mistakenly believe men should view them with the same sexy eyes they did when they were young and desirable. That's not how it works.
I would say the window peaks for men much sooner. They tend to lose their "ability" due to over-indulgence in alcohol, lack of exercise, etc. Also, while a woman might find "toy-boys" a brief amusement, their lack in intellectual capacity makes them become boring very soon.
You're confusing sexyness with sexual performance. The two are not the same. Sexyness is by it's very definition devoidant of sex. Sexyness implies sex but it's never sex per se. It's the promise, the allure, the fantasy... it's never the sex. Sexyness transcends the sexual act.
Also, I have to say, you're very much peddling the 'fat woman's argument here' - this is where, as a fat woman who is no longer desirable by men, you attack male masculinity, because in doing so, it helps you deal with your feelings that men no longer find you hot.
I've known many sexy older women. In fact, older woman are often far more sexier than their younger, less worldly, counterparts.
I’m as ‘superficial’ as the next guy, but defining the 'sexiness' of a person, male or female, simply by their physical appearance, is like eating the yummy dessert portions of a buffet, and ignoring the steak and seafood.
At the risk of sounding offensive, such a viewpoint is an error that is most commonly made by the very young, those less experienced with the opposite sex, or a misogynist who has an axe to grind.
i find your logic to be highly dubious as it's also a well known fact that most men reach their sexual peak when they're in their late teens to early twenties. Hence, why when a lot of people get married, about 48% of all women fake their orgasms as the men are no longer able to perform like they used to. Plus, women reach their sexual peak at a much later age in life. I forgot what the exact age range was, but I believe it's around their late twenties to early thirties.
Only the early thirties, tsk tks, Sir, you are sorely mistaken
i apologize then. I stand corrected then. as i said before, i wasn't sure about the sexual peak of women, but i did remember the sexual peak guys reach when i watched a documentary about it in high school a while back. lol however, i do know that for most men, they reach their sexual peak early in life between their late teens to early twenties. however, there are a few that are the exception like myself. not to brag or anything of course. however, I apologize if it came out that way.
Well, you see yourself as a late exception, but there are many ladies of a far later exception
i bet there are. in fact, i think i might know one but I don't want to embarass her by saying her name.
Another who confuses sexyness with sexual performance.
Jee. Is there no-one here with any genuine intelligence?
Genuine intelligence? This from a person who writes "sexyness," and "devoidant of," who believes physical beauty can somehow be defined by anything other than subjectivity, and who believes that the only thing valuable about 51% of the human race is whether or not it's "hot."
LMAO...I apologize for telling you to find your sense of humor before; I was mistaken. Surely such posts as these can be nothing more than jokes.
I reached my sexual peak when I was 18
It lasted about a week... I had a cold and missed it
Deary me. So - all slim, pretty young women are sexy? Tosh. I know women built with a body and face to die for but they're about as sexy as toothache.
Sensuality is not a 'look'. It's an intangible and thin and pretty doesn't always equal sensual.
Now BP is the kind with juice. Aren't you BP?
*walks away in disgust. I'd advice others to do the same. Stop feeding the troll...!
Sometimes Max you're not very nice.
And to answer your question about genuine intelligence: between you and I, no. But I've got an excuse. What's yours?
I'm not here to be nice.
I'm just passing time.
Emphasizing the futility that people place on the importance of an internet forum like My Own world for instance and others.
This merging of real life into the escape world of the internet disturbs me.
Smart people are beyond that.
I just read the mail, frog.
Send it to me and I'll post it.
Maximus seems like a guy that might have gotten his heart broken a few times in life, which may explain why he's so bitter about this subject. perhaps a girl dumped him for not being attractive enough, so now he has this narrow minded shallow perception. or maybe he was just raised to be this way like jack black's character in "shallow hal." who knows? however, i will say this. although I think max is a funny guy, I do think he's a tad misguided. however, to each their own. max does bring up a good point about MOST men being like that, but he fails to recognize that not all men share this opinion or view women the same way. as i said before, a girl's personality to me is the most attractive thing to me. however, every guy is different.
A post not really worthy of a response but, I will attempt to summon one just to amuse you.
It's important to understand your audience here. Most who post here are female. The majority of which are over 30. In fact, that is being too kind... the majority are over 40. They are typically house-wife types with dull, dreary lives. Many will be employed in low paying jobs or have no employment at all. Not because they are imbeciles (altho some are) but because it's simply a choice they make. They have far too much time on their hands, so how do they spend that time? You can almost see the little bulbs of ideas exploding over their chubby heads, can't you? 'I know, I will write! I will become a novelist! and I will escape into an online world where I can make friends with other wannaee's, just like me!' - It has something of a sad and delusional quality about it, doesn't it?
Their actions open them up to criticism. But rather than reflecting on the criticism and the role it plays in highlighting their deficiencies, they form a collective, emboldened, against the source of their discomfort. The way it plays out has a beautiful elegance to it. It can be predicted even before it happens. Imagine if you will, stealing candy from a small tot. Not only can you predict the reaction of the tot, but you can also predict the reaction of the tots mother, the father and just about everyone else caught up in the chain reaction immediately following the heinous theft of candy from the tot.
It happens this way because people don't like to be made aware of their inadequacies. Most here will never be skilled writers who write for profit, they are just deluding themselves. I bring reality to their lives, for this, they should kiss me, they really should. A nice big, fat juicy smacker on my cute lil lips.
Pucker up my chubby lovlies.
Now that is a real woman.
You joined 3 weeks ago.
Currently you have zero hubs. And as for your massive number of followers... wait, let me count them all - I might need a REALLY BIG calculator for this - you have... Jee Golly... zero followers too!
That's my girl!
Keep up the good work.
You're not doing very well either. Only 1 hub in 5 monthas !! And only 20 followers ! Do I have to comment about it ?
I think not. It shows your 'ability' to be' nothing'
Yeahbutnobutyeahbut... am I bothered though?
While we're on the subject of hubs, what about your match.com hub? Why'd you take that down - did they threaten you with legal action?
First - and most importantly - thankyou Haunty
And Max - why not bugger off then and stop playing with people. I'm sure you've got something incredibly smart and groundbreaking to occupy yourself with. Marbles.
I'm more of a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey-kind-of-a-guy.
lol Max. You can find the ass on a donkey? Cool party trick. CV stuff that, no doubts
I'm going to interject here-
Blondepoet, Frogdropping, Lyricsingray, Crazdwriter, Justine76, Wendi M, Jane@CM, Double_Frick, and so many others...don't meet the requirements.
Simply because they are all intelligent. Granted all of these ladies happen to be the HOTTEST Women on HubPages.
Unfortunately, Max cannot see that he is out-witted and out classed by women, why else would he make such sad statements.
I'd love to have a party with all of them....AND NO other men are allowed, simply because...I would rather keep them happy and in a good mood. So, all other men must stay away from the party.
**Actually, they wouldn't be invited in the first place, just because they would most likely ruin the fun.
Just a thought.
Umm... your brain appears to be experiencing some faulty wiring. Or your optic nerve has become damaged after sustaining a mighty blow to the head. Perhaps both.
You have my condolences.
Good job Cagsil. He just doesn't know when to stop.
Hey Ohma, with some people(not sure about him), but ignorance is blissful.
Im not worried about what Max thinks of me tho. mostly he makes good but backwards points. I also think alot of the time hes joking, but...all his hubs are about cyber dating? And he looks alot like a picture I saw once on google....that guy from friends...
What hubs? He has one hub written and has 20 fans?
I'm sure he writes under another name too, but his foolish mocking of good women is absurd and meant to boost his own ego. So, he can feel superior to others.
I don't agree with his actions and find him morally repulsive.
So, I guess I don't agree with is belittling of others.
Oh...okay, if you say so. I'll take your word for it.
well, it was a while ago. I thought he was just being funny. After a while, its just tiresome. Its kinda off topic anyway. The OP had a genuine question, no matter what Max thinks.
I will have to insist that you NOT follow me around the forums.
I know your infatuation of me cannot be contained, but the feeling is not mutual and it never will be.
I have standards to maintain and I just feel so... what's the word, so... unclean, knowing you have secret sexual desires for my manly body.
I'm feeling quite unwell.
I need to sterialise myself in the shower now.
Yayyyy for Cags xo
yeah. although normally me and cags have our differences. i do think he's spot on with everything he just said here. however, i think he forgot to mention a few other notable females like beth100, as she's one of the hottest girls on here too. lol.
Hey Steven, I didn't forget anyone. I was talking about the women in specific who were talking in this forum thread?
I have plenty......92 to be exact....and they are ALL Wonderful and Beautiful women in their own right.
And, at anytime....people can see them or even read about them.
oh okay. that's cool then. I actually have read your tribute to those 92 women, and it's actually pretty well written. I was amazed on how much work you put into it, as it shows in your two blogs about them.
However, you do make a lot valid points about max. to be honest, i used to be a fan of his as i found his style of humor, in his writings, to be similar to the comedy acts of rodney dangerfield and george carlin. which are two comedians i do like or have liked in the past. however, after seeing how bitter he is, i think he just lost himself another fan. kind of a shame, as he really is a funny guy. misguided, but funny. lol.
Hello Everybody, I was really surprise this morning to find so many responses and so many great and valuable points to be noted but unfortunately some people turn the thread into a fighting ring, which not supposes to so. Though I am new here but the few post that have made in this place have being wonderful and I personally like the attitude except some of the exceptional post that should not be encourage at all. Cagsil I will personally appeal to you no matter what Maximus591 is still your brother. lets spread love. Thanks everybody,
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