Ok so he's my wife's cousin he didn't have anywhere to go .So we hooked him up here at our house till he can get back on his feet.He's gotten a job but has been blowing all of it ,making good tips and such.He hasn't contributed to the household at all and is a slob.We have both tried talking with him but he hears nothing..Like talking to a dumb wall.His attitude sucks!He slinks around the house to avoid all of us and it's just freakin creepy!! so is that enough cause I got more if you want it.
Make up some story about having to go somewhere and leaving the house. Make your bags and all. He'll have to move !
you don't give his age, but I'm assuming he's younger?
you both need to figure out exactly what you're going to do, come up with a plan, and sit down with him and tell it like it is.
if the agreement was helping him out until he had a job, you've done your part. if it was until he had enough to get a place to live and he's blowing his money, you might want to give him a specific date and that's it.
if he's as bad as it sounds, he probably is not going to change.
you might just have to set a date and tell him that's it.
This is a case where you have no choice but to be blunt. Give him a deadline to find a place and leave. Two weeks should be enough. And don't back down.
Well in the state where I live if he has been there 30 days it is considered his permanent residence and requires an official eviction. (If he knows the law) other wise just tell him that you do not believe you can continue to enable him anymore and you would appreciate it if he found some where else to live. be as straight forward and honest as you can be so there is no mistaking what you want or by when you expect it to happen.
Ohma, that's kind of a scary law. You could end up in a very uncomfortable situation. I bet it discourages a lot of people from helping relatives in this type of situation. It would me.
How big is your foot?
I'm not joking either. He either moves or is legally removed.
You were kind enough to help him in his time of need. Now he must move on.
Next time you will know better than to help him. It is sad. Kindness is a good thing, but too many abuse the person kind enough to help.
I agree give him a Short deadline to hit the road and that's that...by the way I do know the man in question is 35 not a kid.
give him time to find a new place. some places require the first and last month's rent, a security and cleaning deposit, etc.
but be honest and tell him it's not working out and he needs to actively look for new housing as soon as possible.
OK I'm liking the feed back please keep it coming......thought I was just over reacting....BUT......the people are speaking......oh yeah he's rude to my wife......just to add to the complaint.......
how long has he been in your home? at the beginning did you talk about a time line? it sounds like it's now a burden on your personal life. don't become the enablers while trying to help.
I want to hear more...
But with what you've said so far I would say he sounds like a professional user(moocher). If that is the case the only way you'll get him to go is to use him back. By that I mean take what's his and use it for yourself. He will get sick of sharing really quickly and either move or call you out on it. Either way you will have the opening that you're looking for.
Sometimes it's better to get rid of stinky people, so do away with him and stick him in the trash...it's easy to do.
I'd say, "Get out. I'll see at the next reunion. Don't call until then."
Been there, done that. Seriously, that is what I said. Worked great.
Tell him he has a certain amount of time to get out and get his own place. Make sure you give him notice in writing. Then just drop it, if he's still there on Dday, pack his stuff put it on the curb, change the locks and if he tries to force entry call the police.
"How do you get rid of a house guest........THAT'S FAMILY?"
Sometimes, ya just gotta say, “This is the way it is…
edit: Do, however, give him some notice as previous posters have said.
My honest feelings on this is he is taking advantage of the situation and he knows it. Dont take his dumbness lightly, you better believe he knows he's a moocher. Kick his buns out! When it comes to people like this trying to be nice just does NOT work. I have a slacker brother and counsin. With our counsin we put our foot down and asked her where would you like to be dropped off, the bus station, or the train?? My brother we simply told him dude you have to go!! I know it may sound mean but putting your foot down hard is the only way to deal with family like this.
Stop letting this person take advantage of you and put your foot down! My mom used to babysit my niece and nephew when they were runts because my older brother and his bitch wife took advantage of her. Don't let this person do the same thing to you. Demand a decent rental amount from this person by the end of the month or out!
That is so easy. Tell him he stinks and give him the boots, no need to hide your feeling about it, after all you have been nice to him and even tried taking to him like a sane person, it time to put on your insane boot and give him one
Why not have one of your family urgently needing to stay (real or imaginary) so your wife's family (him) need to move out to make room for them. Cards on the table no alternative options, he has a job now so he will have to stay in a motel if he cannot find anything else.
The good about helping a family member is because that's what family is there for: a support system. You have to do good on this earth even if they don't deserve it because you never know that could be you one day. If u are a christian then you know what Jesus would want from you regardless how you feel personally. In reality that's not always the case because love has conditions now. The other good is that if this person that you are taking in is sensible enough, then you both win. The bad is when the guest over stayed their welcome to the point of making you feel uncomfortable in your own home. Should this be a relative of a spouse, and they are not minding theirs, this bad can turn ugly over night . Its bad when they start taking advantage of you as your bills go up. When you asked them to chip in, they throw the family card at you. It gets ugly when all the above happens and the legal system gets involved. At that point everyone is embarrass.
To avoid all of that study your family member really well. Think of that persons' character and personality. Was this someone you had a relationship with in the family. if you are married and you both don't agree then don't do it. if u compromise then remember when the role is reverse, you can't say no.
Best solution is not volunteer to listen to problems because if you are sensitive, you'll feel obligated to fix it or sorry for them. Don't advertise your house like it's a hotel and if you do remember even hotels have a check out time. lastly offer money if you can instead. That way you're not in the middle and your business inside your home stays home.
how do you get rid of them: give a reminder that its temp and help that person find a job and place as much as you can.
So many ways to reply to this! You could learn to play the base guitar - right when ever they happen to be around or in their room! Try adopting bad habits, lots of ways to get rid of them. but just do it the direct way and chuck them out! Get back up if you really need it, moral support goes a long way these days! No one has to suffer that kind of thing!
Nothing should be free for people who are just feeing off you!
I had a paying roommate - not related to me - who turned into a nightmare, and it was not easy getting her to leave, but I gave her a copy of the law and that made it clear she could be evicted. That worked, because I stressed that evictions go on your credit record! She left that same week-to go live with relatives, btw. You can use that in your case too, it sounds like - getting the sheriff to come and evict goes on their record. So usually when people know that, they get out quickly. It sounds like you've been too nice to the bum and he is knows it - slinking around! uggh very creepy. Good luck to you.
Take a couple of pages from nature...
1 Pee in every corner of every room in the house to assert your control over your territory.
2 If that doesnt work, eat him
There is no hemorrhoid like family! Start making inane rules.......and charge rent. That would be the last straw....now he's/she's gone! Good riddance, I say! Well off to my room to watch some horror dvds!
Well, I get rid of a house guest by giving a lot of work in and around my house. I mean in the Philippines,when a relative who stays more than a week in my house and just sitting in front of the telly and not contributing something, not even cleaning his room will be evicted by me by asking him to help me in my garden, cleaning the house, repairing this and that and anything that come into my mind. This parasite don´t stay for long due to too much "HELP" that I´ll ask. I have done this already so, I know it functions. So every guest that I have for not even a week, contributes help because he or she is no longer a guest. I´m a kind person but I´m a lion when somebody used me.
In your case, why not bring his luggage, etc outside your house when he´s at work and change your house key after you have asked him to move out and no sign of doing so. Don´t let him inside. Get a help from your friends to evict this person and call a lawyer.
There´s a saying here in Germany "A guest is like a fish. They smells after 3 days". Oh! I´ll say in my advice here, I´m called "The German" because this is not a Filipino attitude. But I don´t mind.
1. Stop putting food in the fridge & cupboards
2. Suspend Cable TV & Internet Access
3. Turn the Water Heater thermostat to the lowest setting
4. Loosen the red wire on the AC Thermostat
5. Partially unscrew light bulbs
6. Leave brand new cleaning products on the counter
7. Then take a vacation.
When you return either the unwanted visitor will be gone or you house will be cleaned, the TV, Internet & Electric bill will be in their names and all your appliances will have been serviced
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