Jump to Last Post 1-12 of 12 discussions (28 posts)
  1. lawretta profile image62
    lawrettaposted 13 years ago

    I have been out of my last relationship for almost a year now and i am finding it really difficult starting another.every date i have had after my breakup never gets a second call. i am lonely and depress, any tips or tricks to starting a new relationship???

    1. SomewayOuttaHere profile image60
      SomewayOuttaHereposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I guess it depends on how long your relationship was; maybe you are not ready yet; getting into another relationship may not be the answer to being lonely; it's difficult but you have to be comfortable with yourself first before you can really start something new.  take your time, it'll happen - for me, I don't look for love.  and if you didn't get a 2nd call - that's okay; just means there wasn't anything there I guess.

      1. Glenn Raymond profile image60
        Glenn Raymondposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        My wife was told by her mom the best place to find a good man is in church.  My wife would tell you, the best place to find a good man is in the grocery store.  Hmmm, I wonder why that is?  Don't push it and don't avoid it, just be yourself, relax and allow nature to take its coarse.  Follow the path before you without any judgements and hang in there.

        1. lawretta profile image62
          lawrettaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          thanks alot.

    2. Cagsil profile image73
      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I guess your own actions and body language has revealed the truth that you are not actually ready for a new relationship.

      It appears fairly simple that one of two things is happening- (a) you are destroying the foundation or don't know what it is in the first place or (b) you simply want to replace the lonely feeling without regards as to who fills that role, which is displayed in your actions.

      Either way, it is a tell sign to any man who comes before you.

      If you're not sure which one you are doing, then I would suggest you learn the foundation of a relationship first, then proceed from there. It might be good if you were happy with yourself, which apparently you seem not to be, because your loneliness is showing you to be a weakened woman, who is unable to handle it.

      Just my thoughts.

      1. lawretta profile image62
        lawrettaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        thanks, i totally get your point.

    3. Hokey profile image60
      Hokeyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Dont worry! Hokey is here and you are gorgeous!  tongue

    4. Rafini profile image71
      Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I think the most important thing for you to do, now, is to become comfortable with yourself.  Stop looking for a man to satisfy an internal need for love - you are more than capable of loving yourself and you need to.  After you are comfortable in your own skin and love yourself for who you are then men will take notice and you will be fighting them off while trying to decide which ones fit the bill of supporting your core being and promoting your sense of empowerment.

      Then again, I'm highly independent....I can't stand the idea of depending on anyone for anything unless I choose to reach out....hmm

      1. lawretta profile image62
        lawrettaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks Rafini.

    5. formerbronxboy profile image60
      formerbronxboyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      law, There are great blow-up dolls (I'm told) for everyone. Just kidding, but someone must buy them.

  2. lawretta profile image62
    lawrettaposted 13 years ago

    thanks somewayOuttaHere.

  3. profile image0
    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    Depends on what you need him for, to eat him up, or just love him to death. Get your rod, reel and lipstick out and go get one. Use a big hook and strong line and smile girl. Always worked on me.

    1. lawretta profile image62
      lawrettaposted 13 years agoin reply to this


  4. profile image0
    Precious Williamsposted 13 years ago

    Lawretta, there will be someone special out there for you. You can just relax, go out and enjoy yourself, join a club of some sort if you don't and just get to meet some people in relaxed situations.  Or you can chose to do what my business partner did and do something specific like joining a dating agency. She went this route because she had moved into an area she didn't know and had no one to go out with. She was lucky, she didn't have to kiss too many frogs before she found her prince.  It worked for her and it does for quite a few people.  Please try not to be depressed, from your photo you are a beautiful girl and someone is going to want to have a loving relationship with you.

    1. lawretta profile image62
      lawrettaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thanks alot. i like your advise

  5. kmackey32 profile image61
    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    Stop Looking!!!! U dont need a man...

  6. Shealy Healy profile image60
    Shealy Healyposted 13 years ago

    Last night there was a big spider in my bedroom. Then, I really needed a man.

    1. manlypoetryman profile image78
      manlypoetrymanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Man...I can't stand spiders. Those beady little eyes. Well, its' actually the big ones that I hate: cattle, tarantula, banana, and some brown recluse...get mighty big...and can put a sting in you that can kill a swarth of skin...if not treated. Oh...did I just go off on a tangent...my bad!

      But, call me for help with snakes. They ain't nothing compared to those evil, jumping spiders!

    2. formerbronxboy profile image60
      formerbronxboyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Shealy, Not all guys like spiders either.

  7. ngureco profile image81
    ngurecoposted 13 years ago

    Lawretta, it’s crucial at this time to get a man any way you can, but get him.

  8. leeberttea profile image58
    leebertteaposted 13 years ago

    This is going to sound counter intuitive, but first your focus should be on yourself. One year without being in a relationship is not a long time. What's the rush? This is the perfect opportunity for you to connect with yourself, to discover who you are and what are your interests. Pursue this discovery with vigor and enthusiasm, and you will attract people to you with like interests that admire your confidence in knowing who you are, and will enjoy being around a person that is able to find joy in her life all on her own. Learn how to make yourself happy without relying on someone else to bring happiness to you and you will attract what you seek all without much effort at all! Find you, be you, love you, and love will come to you. Good luck!

    1. lawretta profile image62
      lawrettaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thanks guys, i have learnt one or two things from you guys.

  9. profile image0
    Kathryn LJposted 13 years ago

    Your a beautiful girl lawretta.  You don't need a man.  A man won't make you happy.  Only you can make yourself happy.  Enjoy yourself, do things for you.  Then, when your more happy in your own skin, you will be beating those guys off with a stick, just as leeberttea says.  You don't need a man but plenty of men are going to want to need you.  Bon chance!

    1. KCC Big Country profile image85
      KCC Big Countryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This is great advice!

  10. Research Analyst profile image76
    Research Analystposted 13 years ago

    Hey there, you have really gotten some good advice so far and I just would like to add that the best way to meet new people is to decide what you like to do, write down what your hobbies are. Such as drawing, painting, cycling, reading, dancing, traveling, shopping, listening to live music. Whatever it is your best strategy is to look for those things in your local area, library, farmers market, concerts, local craft meetups, hiking groups. etc.

    Join a group, participate, volunteer in the community, start a event of your own, once you get involved in your local areas activities you will meet plenty of people who like the same things you do and before you know it you will meet the person of your dreams.

  11. sh5547 profile image61
    sh5547posted 13 years ago

    If you are going on a lot of first dates and not getting called back, the best book I would suggest would be "Why He Didn't Call You Back - 1000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date". The best advice for trying to be in a committed relationship with a man is one your Grandma probably told you...it has to do with buying the cow when the milk is free.

    1. formerbronxboy profile image60
      formerbronxboyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      sh, That is very true, if you have a good personality.

  12. alternate poet profile image68
    alternate poetposted 13 years ago

    I don't agree with most of the advice you are getting here - (no surprises there then!)

    The best way to deal with it is to stop looking and do other things, any other things that get gets you out, maybe sporty but out with other people enjoying something else - then the next 'he' will find you no problem. 

    Good luck smile


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