Is divorce an option?

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   xixi12posted 13 years ago

   Are there any real grounds for divorce. What happened to for better or worse

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      vox vocisposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Usually, there aren't real grounds for marriage, that's why the divorce is more than an option nowadays. It's a trend. Unfortunately! :-(

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         dutchman1951posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I agree Vox. Like George Carlin once said. We do it Backwards.
         We spend 50 on a License to marry, and then spend 250,000 to get out of it!
         
         we should reverse it!

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      sarovaiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Extreme approach.

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      Lisa HWposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      In answer to the "what happened to 'for better or worse'" - The same thing that happened to "to love and cherish".   

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      MayGposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Of course there are real, even necessary grounds for divorce,many of them listed below such as spousal abuse, where children are in danger etc etc.  But I think even growing apart is a justifiable reason for divorce.  I think that the marriage vow of 'for better or worse,' is highly unrealistic and sadly it's often not possible to stay in love with someone forever. How can we really know that at the time? Usually when we get married  we can't imagine it not lasting.  But so much can happen over the course of a lifetime. People change, situations change, other people come into our lives etc.  I would rather be single than have a spouse who was only with me because he felt as if he had to be.   I also believe it's better for kids to have two happy parents that live apart, then two miserable ones in a toxic home environment.  I've been married for almost ten years, and there are times when I think maybe it won't last forever.   We put effort into making our marriage work, but I would never say never.  And if I did get divorced, I wouldn't care less if people not in my family were judging me for it, because at the end of the day, it's nobody else's business.

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   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Is divorce an option?
   
   Yes, it's a choice.

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      not just option me say good good option 

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   xixi12posted 13 years ago

   so, is it right to end a long term relationship because you 'feel' its not working out

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      Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      legally, it's correct.   At least as far as I know,  the rule of claiming "incompatibility" is still in effect.
      
      But morally, no, it's not right, except when the spouse is unfaithful,  or maybe abusive.

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         Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Having a problem understanding morals Brenda?
         
         First you say it's not moral...then you give excuses for it to be moral?
         
         Make up your mind would you? Please.

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            Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            How hard is it to understand that there are exceptions to some general rules?
            The same with abortion.  If a woman is raped, subjected unwillingly to incest, or if there has to be a choice made between her immediate death and giving birth,  there are actual dilemmas there that call for a choice of some degree.

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               Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               You mean exceptions permissible by others. Right? Only what others think is best?
               
               Abortion is legal. So, step off and don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Abortion is a separate private matter that ONLY concerns you, IF you are considering it. Otherwise, what one does with their own life is their business and not yours.

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                  h.a.borcichposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  
                  
                  Good grief Cags. So Brenda should keep her opinion about divorce to herself while you spout off on it? Really? And she should not utter her thoughts on abortion UNLESS she is considering it? Are you really fit to expound on marriage and divorce if you have never been married? Must be that imagined superior morality affecting your judgement.

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                     Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Leave it to another religious person to defend the invasion into someone else's life. Should have figured.
                     
                     I said what I said, simply because of her statement with regards to "ABORTION" or did you not catch that insinuation?
                     
                     Her whole statement simply shows people do not know their role, place in life and through religious teaching, have learned to invade or infringe upon the rights and their ability to live their life without interference.
                     
                     So please.
                     
                     Abortion should not even be discussed because it's a private matter. It isn't society's place to invade on someone's life. To tell someone is wrong for something that is legal is absurd.
                     
                     I understand morals better than you could ever imagine Holly.
                     
                     I even wrote a hub about it= which is something you should never attempt. Sure, you have some common morals as does everyone else- as for my higher superior moral- I don't claim to have a higher moral standard than others. I understand them better, because I know what they are based on, which apparently you don't.
                     
                     Again, please.

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                        h.a.borcichposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        Funny how you just can't seem to see yourself at all!
                        
                        Only you have all the answers on religion, etc and now you even have the answers about marriage and the role everyone should have on this earth? What a crock!
                        
                        Get over yourself. How narrow minded have you become?
                        
                        And now almighty cags thinks I shouldn't attempt to write hubs? Your shrink is failing you miserably.
                        
                        Get a mirror and some mental help asap.

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         Paul Wingertposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         My marrage (lasted a year) was like an old worn, out station wagon. As time went on, it got worse and worse and fixing it did no good. It got to the point were it was easier to junk it and get another one. Life is too short to be miserable and unhappy. I was more happy at the finalization of my divorce than  I was at my wedding.

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      A "right"? I said it was a choice.
      
      Not all choices are rights.
      
      If someone feels that their relationship is no longer a valued part of their life and a change is to be made, then since "marriage" is a binding contract, on a legal level, then divorce is one of the options of choice to end that contract.

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   kirstenblogposted 13 years ago

   To be honest there are times and situations where NOT getting a divorce is wrong. Say your spouse is abusing your child? Say they beat you and are a risk to your life and health? Like I say there are times with staying is the worst thing you could do. Just because you made a vow for better or for worse does not mean you should live alone in a hellish nightmare existence.
   
   
   This said marriage does seem to have lost most if not all of its meaning with the number of divorces and such. People do seem to give up to easily as there is a sense of normalcy to divorce.

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   kirstenblogposted 13 years ago

   Funny thing is that the decline in the longevity of marriage and the increase in the percentages of marriages that end in divorce probably would not be the way it is if people didn't feel the 'need' to be married in the first place. I know more people in long term relationships where they never actually got married who have a more solid relationship then their married counterparts do.
   
   Maybe if we didn't worry so darned much about what other people do we wouldn't need to worry so much about what other people think of us and we could make decisions for ourselves to suit us best.

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      MayGposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have to agree.  Perhaps rather than worrying about making it more difficult to get divorced, we should have to jump through more hoops to get married in the first place!

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   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   Divorce can be a very healthy option especially if one finds themself in an abusive or toxic marriage.
   We're all human and mistakes happen.
   One of the most common mistakes people make is in selecting the right mate for themself. Many it times this steems from the fact that we don't know ourself well enough to know what it is we need in a partner. Sometime people rush into marriage at age 18, 19, or early 20s...etc without truly considering the future.
   Some people marry drug users and heavy drinkers who later become drug addicts or alcoholics...etc
   
   Even the constitution can be amended.
   (Nothing is written in stone)
   We allow folks to file bankruptsy when they hit bottom.
   Divorce is just an option to have a second chance.

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   jcalesposted 13 years ago

   So only abusive, toxic or unfaithful? 
   growing apart is not one of them? 
   like a change of religion. If one basically changes their whole lifestyle & who they were when you met due to a pastor is that correct to accept and endure if you are totally opposite? 
   I say, No. Because it also falls under abusive by constant nagging to come to their church and berating others who do not follow their new found teacher.

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      nice post!!!!!!!!!!
      
      

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      Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      have heard of that happening.  Read about some couples that were torn apart because one converted to pentecostal christianity, and church turned the new convert away from spouse

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         xixi12posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I know of people who in a bid to save their marriage converted to their spouses religion. On the issue of abuse- is it possible they were not aware before they got married

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   pisean282311posted 13 years ago

   ofcourse yes..good to end relationship which is not helping both than hanging just because culture or social system says so...

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   andromidaposted 13 years ago

   It's a solution to a problem

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    klarawieckposted 13 years ago

    When two people live together to fight and annoy each other, and both are unhappy and not doing anything to improve their relationship, then the best option is DIVORCE.

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       andromidaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       amen to that.

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    one has many options. None really good as divorce is costly and if children are involved.
    There is murder of the spouse: highly not recommended
    Tying up of the spouse in duct tape and putting them in a closet and feeding them once a day. this could land you in jail
    You can flee to Utah. join a cult.
    Flee to Iran and convert to Islam. No way can you spouse get to you now.
    And then there is the time honored tradition of hiring some thugs to come and beat them mercilessly day after day until they bend to your will.
    There ya go. the choice is all yours.

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    schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

    I agree w/ the one who said....it's too common.
    
    "Don't enter into marriage lightly.....
    It is meant to be forever
    but if there is abuse etc you should leave
    but if it's petty stuff, try and work it out. For God's sake.

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    Errol Smytheposted 13 years ago

    Marriage is between a man and a women. Always has been and always will be.
    All other so called unions are false and are just a fake uniting of people with serious lust problems.
    Demonic infestation causes problems of lust.
    people talk about aliens from outerspace they should talk about demons from hell that are infesting people with hellish influences. 
    Marriage is  a sacred instition ORDAINED BY GOD IN THE BOOK OF GENESIS .( SEE GENESIS CHAPTER 2 VERSES 18 TO 25 ).
    No politician, no judge, no backslidden apostate reprobate religious leader can change that.
    READ YOUR BIBLE AND PRAY AND BE A BETTER PERSON.
    According to your marriage vow, Marriage is until "....DEATH US TO PART....".
    People that  remarried after diovorce are living in sin.
    People that indulging in sex outside marriage are living in sin.
    SIN IS SIN.
    No whitewash can cover sin.
    REPENT and make right with GOD.
    Why will you live a life of rebellion to God's Word ?.
    Shun the very appearance of evil.
    "....WHAT  GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER....". (MARK 10 VERSE 9 ).

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       MayGposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Ah, I do enjoy your religious rantings Errol.  Do you stand on street corners with a placard too?

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    frogdroppingposted 13 years ago

    Lisa's reply was the best IMO. I'm divorcing, happily so I might add.
    
    I didn't deserve to live as I had been doing and so far as I'm concerned, I'm all square with my decision.
    
    That goes for anyone else that chooses to end their marriage. If that's all they've got left, then that's their decision. When we're all perfect, then we can judge.

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    christiansisterposted 13 years ago

    This thread had me laughing so hard especially "ralwus" seriously you made me laugh so hard it had me crying.
    Good read....

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    brianzenposted 13 years ago

    I hated getting divorced, but I would do it again. (divorce)

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    evvy_09posted 13 years ago

    Divorce is really somebody's choice.  So yeah, it's always an option.  My personal opinion is that people often rush into marriage too fast.  Marriage is a sacred commitment and by marrying that person you are placing that person above anybody else in the world. You must choose carefully.
    If you choose right and treat each other with love and respect then divorce will still be an option, just not one you would ever want. 
    

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