Sex appeal

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   schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years ago

   I've heard it's been said to women at least
   that if you meet a guy who you are so attracted to that you want to go to bed with them immediately--most likely they are not for you.  That you will not have a healthy relationship.
   But that you should be friends first....
   
   What's the combo for chemistry and friendship??? In other words, what is the best combination to have for a good mate.
   
   You may deliberate
   
   Also, would you Ever have sex with someone you have no attraction for? Why? And what would you do, if you feel in love w/ someone you considered "ugly" or unnattractive, and then fell out of love--which eventually will happen (the honeymoon phase).

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This describes uncontrollable lust. If one gives into this desire, then the man is most likely, depending on the sex itself, to not maintain any sort of relationship.
      
      I would go out on a limb to say that for most men it is about the chase than it is about the sex itself.
      Yes, a good starting point would be friends first.
      It would be healthy to be attracted to the individual, but not to the point where you cannot control yourself own bodily functions.
      Been there, done that. Why? Too much alcohol.
      To fall in love- there must be something about them that brought on that feeling, and apparently it wasn't based on attractiveness or "ugly"(as you put it). And, if you fell out of love- it most likely wouldn't change anything, because that something feature will still exist.
      
      Just my thoughts on your questions.

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         schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         that sounds like a very good explanation to me.
         Thankyou for making sense of my question
         Your advice is very good!

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         1. 71

            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            You're welcome. I'm glad I could be of some help.
            
            The questions went unanswered for 72 minutes when I finally saw it.

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            1. 76

               schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I did basically have the same thoughts as you, but it feels nice to have someone say it back even clearer

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   2. 0

      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I honestly never heard of this saying before, but it kind of sounds like superstitious nonsense if you ask me. As anyone will tell you about relationships, it takes some sort of initial attraction to ignite the relationship at first, or the attraction has to take some sort of effect.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all relationships are based solely on physical attraction, as it could just as easily be an emotional attraction as well.  The point is there has to be something that draws you to that person initially.
      
        It depends on the people involved.  I've seen some people go out on a first date, then immediately hit it off right away.  Or, I'll often find people who say they've known their wife for years, as a friend, before they ever started dating.  It really depends on the people, but ideally unless you meet someone that you immediately click with, then it's often best to take things slow if your looking for something serious.
      
      
        The only person that can answer that is YOU.  What may be a suitable lover for you, may not be ideal for someone else.  If I were you, I'd spend time thinking about the type of guy that you do want to be with first before seeking a new lover.
      
      
      First of all, I doubt seriously a person would marry somebody they weren't attracted to on some level, unless you want to bring up arranged marriages, then this kind of sounds silly.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so how would you define ugly?  It's highly subjective, and can't be defined; although the media and capitalism would have you think otherwise with their corporate brainwashings.  However, the truth is, the only way I can see this happening unless the person is freaking drunk or high when they got married, and they were in a place like Vegas where people can get married in a hurry.  That's the only way crap like that could happen.
      
      Even if it did, I'm sure people probably get annulments all the time there, so it wouldn't be a biggie.  As for me, I only drink on occasion and have never done drugs, so this would never happen to me at all.  Barring some type of arranged marriage, this wouldn't apply to me.
      
      As far as looks go, I told somebody once on here that appearances really don't matter to me about a girl, as the way I see it.  Beauty fades away over time with age, but a woman's heart and personality will ultimately remain the same, so that's kind of what I look for in a girl.  Seriously, if I had to pick between  some over weight girl with a heart of gold and a playboy centerfold that was a real stuck up b****.  Well, I would tell the playboy centerfold to go to he!!, since she obviously thinks she's better than me.    Then I'd give the other girl a chance, as I said before looks aren't necessarily something I focus on.  It's more about her personality to me if anything else.  Now, if I were to accidentally marry a girl and she turned out to be a b****, then that could lead to a lot of problems....

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      1. 76

         schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         yeah, true.
         
         Yeah it's an error to date someone just so you're not lonely....and then find yourself not attarted to them at all.  Ridiculous really.

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         1. 0

            Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            No, you should never date someone just out of fear of being alone, as I did that once with another girl, and it ended horribly.  That's why it's often important to find someone that you truly want to be first, rather than just being with them out of fear that you may not find someone else.  Sure, you can think that way, but you might end up missing out dating someone that you might truly belong with...

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            1. 76

               schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I am trying to do that but even now as I and my "person" have decided that we don't want to be together, I haven't found anyone though I'm open and ready
               
               I don't know when or how
               
               but I'm not going to be alone for a long time
               
               that would be unimagineable...

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               1. 0

                  Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  well schoolgirl, you have to be happy with yourself before you jump into an immediate relationship; otherwise you'll be codependent on the other person which could be bad if that person is manipulative and/or abusive.  However, for what it's worth, I'm sure you'll meet a great guy out there.  One, that I'm sure will appreciate you, as you have a lot more to offer a guy than you might think.  Heck, just ask anyone that knows you well on hubpages, as most of the people that I've seen on here, had nothing but good things to say about you. 

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                  1. 76

                     schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     You're 100% correct....and I appreciate very much what you are trying to say or said really.  [Honestly} I know I am really good but growing up w/ a father like mine puts ?doubt?or difficulty in my way.
                     
                     I think I will find someone "worthy" soon thou
                     
                     Just not a year to two (yikes!)
                     
                     Do you think I have to give up all contact with "him" in order to do that?

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                     1. 0

                        Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        its really up to you to decide that, as I don't know a lot about what's going on with you and your ex; outside of what you said in forums.  Therefore, it's hard to say.  However, if he's still verbally abusive to you, then I think it might be best if you did lose contact with him for a while, as he'll only try to destroy and shatter your self confidence to make himself feel better. 
                        
                        I doubt seriously, it'll take you that long to find another boyfriend, as there's plenty of other suitors out there.  You probably haven't met the guy you want yet, or you might have, and you just haven't realized it's him yet.  Or, he's probably too much of a dumba** to wake up and realize you and him are meant for each other yet.   However, if I were you, I'd probably go out more to meet new people.  Heck, I know you said your very religious, then why don't you do some volunteer work for the church.  It's a great way to earn a tax break, while helping others, and you'll meet other people that you might have similar interests with.  Anyways, I hope this helps, but you should never allow what others say about you run your life okay.
                        
                        Trust me, I lived most of my life like that, and I'm barely starting to learn to say "Screw you" to the people that want to control me and bring me down with them.   sorry, im in a bit of a rebellious mood tonight.    However, you get what I mean.  The point is, you shouldn't care too much about what others think about you okay, as you truly do have to offer a person.  Heck, I'm sure the lucky guy that you do end up with will be very lucky to be with you.  In fact, I'm damn near sure of it.

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2. 0

   kimberlyslyricsposted 14 years ago

   I would go out on a limb and dare to say for many women it is much more about the play [chase] and hunt than the sex

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That's highly possible too Kimberly.
      
      
      Btw- thank you for the new picture.

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3. 65

   nikipaposted 14 years ago

   I agree with Kimberly!

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   1. 71

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      And, I'm not a bit surprised Niki. Hope your well.

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      1. 65

         nikipaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Gags! I am ok, thanks! Hope you are ok as well... Great topic here

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         1. 71

            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I'm glad to hear you're doing well Niki and as for the topic? Well, that still remains to be seen.

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            1. 65

               nikipaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Whatever it is I like your position...  :p

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4. 76

   schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years ago

   I sorta miss my ex, he was gorgeous and we had the best sex

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   1. 71

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Had the best sex? And, what exactly are you comparing it to?

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      1. 76

         schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         all the other men duh!

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      2. 76

         schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         hey do you like my new profile pic? cute huh! i love kitties!!

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         1. 71

            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Try playing that sort kittie and you are not likely to live much past the attempt.

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            1. 76

               schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Does that mean you want me to change it?

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               1. 71

                  Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Not at all. Just think about the real thing and how long you would last if you attempted to play with it? That's all.

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                  1. 76

                     schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     wow. tricky words. impressed

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                     1. 71

                        Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        I mean, if you really want to get into it....what "kittie" are we talking about? If you played with the other "kittie", as in my most entertaining thought presently running through my mind, then most men wouldn't be able to perform up to standard that oneself would be able to provide.

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                        1. 76

                           schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                           Ahh so you mean I couldn't excite the "kittie" ?
                           wait.. maybe I got that twisted..

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                           1. 71

                              Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              Excite? No. Incite it to have you for lunch, sure.

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                           2. 76

                              schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              If I did "twist" than I think you're absolutely......right

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                                 Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                                 Good to know we're on the same page.

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            2. 76

               schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               aww you called me kittie
               I had to change my profile pic and it was one of my selections
               what do you say? you don't want to play?
               
               say the word and I'll change it on accord

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5. 60

   saltposted 14 years ago

   Falliing in love is wonderful. Making sure that you are aware of your own safety is paramount as you get to know someone. Ive learnt from experience, it doesnt matter how long youve known them, if your invited for coffee for a first date, have coffee in a public place. Dont be led anywhere you dont want to go. Mobile phones and girlfriends are wonderful things. YOu can always call one to get you out of trouble. A good self defence course doesnt hurt either.
   
   Just be aware of the tricks. Even if you know someone stay in a public place until you know you will be safe. IT IS YOUR SAFETY THATS IMPORTANT FIRST!!!

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   1. 76

      schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi salt
      nicely put
      hey is "salt" afte the movie? Loved that movie, she was like a female bond!

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6. 0

   kimberlyslyricsposted 14 years ago

   Isn't this thread about sex appeal, a physical element, attractive to you?  How does love and relationships come to play
   
   confused :

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   1. 76

      schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      um,
      well,
      it is about sex appeal
      but sometimes sex appeal is one of the factors in a relationship where love and relationships play, and some of us need to sort out what's important and what's not, you know what I mean?
      So, it's a combo really as I think I stated in the OP statement.

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