Im Going On Holiday With My Family But My Girlfriend IsntHappy About It

1. 73

   shoganposted 14 years ago

   addicted2jg, the format of this is tough to read!
   
   As far as the trip, you did the right thing.  A relationship can't succeed if one or the other is unwilling to allow for a little space.

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2. 60

   UndisclosedDesireposted 14 years ago

   This girl you are with obviously does not understand that your family always comes first no matter what. My family always comes first no matter what. I happen to be really close with my family and they have always been there for me. Im going away to BC for four days because my Uncle has cancer and he is not going to be here with us much longer and I have a boyfriend and he is not upset or dissapointed that he isnt coming with us to be with my family. He said to me to do what I must and that he understand and realizes that my family is important to me and he wants me to be there for my uncle because if i hadnt have booked this flight I probably would have regretted it. But what im trying to say is sometimes you need your space and she needs to understand that its your family that wants to spend time with you alone. I know that if my boyfriend said he was going away and I could not come for a whole bunch of different reasons I would respect that because sometimes you want time with your family alone you know what I mean? Im happy that my boyfriend is supporting me and wanting me to have a safe trip and Ill see him when I get back. Going to miss him like crazy that is for sure. But I think it will make us apprecaite each other more if that makes sense? but if your girlfriend can not understand that your family is important than I am not sure what you should do but to me your family always comes first you are not forgetting about her and that you do make time for her and she needs to realize that.

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3. 74

   Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

   You don't mention how old you are, but it doesn't really matter. Your girlfriend is testing your allegiance and drawing a line in the sand.
   It would be different if she were your wife. But she is not part of the family and should have no expectation of going on a family trip with you.
   Nor is it reasonable to expect you to blow of your mother's 50th celebration.
   You are heading for trouble and she's actually done you a BIG favor with this ultimatum.
   Stick with your family. Go and have a great time.
   BTW, your comment that she went on a trip with friends and you didn't make a fuss -- she clearly has a double standard...
   
   Having lived this scenario firsthand, I know that there's a warning sign here. Assuming you plan to marry this girl, take heed. When you marry someone you marry their family and they marry yours. Are you comfortable with her lack of respect? Cuz really, that's what she's showing your Mum

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4. 82

   Inspired to writeposted 14 years ago

   addicted2jg Mightymom has the answer so read it again!
   
   This girl is totally immature she needs to grow up, she will break your heart in the long run & if you let her go she will break other's hearts until she learns to instil TRUST, so please don't disrespect your own life by abiding by the rules of an immaturity thinker because life is meant as happiness not the opposite, & as stated 'it's ok for her to do stuff but not you.'
   
   Relationships are give & take, what's good for the goose is good for the gander!
   
   And about not losing her, she will show you more respect when COMMUNICATE LIKE A MATURE MAN & you sit her down & tell her
   
   'dear, I love you with all my heart, & I also love my family too, I'm sure you trust me as I do you, that's what makes a great relationship after all wouldn't you agree, but my mind's made up & I am going on this holiday & if you decide you wan't to finish with me because of it, that really means that we're not made for each other after all!'
   
   When she gets up & walks out, DON'T ARGUE OR EVEN EXPLAIN ANY MORE, just tell her goodbye & let her go.
   
   Please addicted2jg, no more explaining to her because you've said enough!
   
   Now the response from her could have two effects, but what ever you do, BE MATURE & DON'T ARGUE, just let her go if she decides to leave, for her to have her own thinking time & space away from you. DO NOT CALL but just go about your own life & I know it's difficult, but don't even think about her. Don't let such a negative gal cloud your mind.
   
   Just hop over to my profile page & read some of my 'relationship' hubs whereas you will not be held over by another's negative energy, but you will free yourself for the correct relationship person to be with.
   
   Regards Dale

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