God is a Female...

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  1. skydiver profile image72
    skydiverposted 9 years ago

    I think God is a Female, and has spent the last 2009 years doing her hair. What do you think? ( ...and keep it light hearted please! smile )

    1. JamaGenee profile image82
      JamaGeneeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well, of course She is, and while she was doing her hair, she was keeping track of everything and everybody too.  It's called mega-multi-tasking. cool

      1. Lady Guinevere profile image60
        Lady Guinevereposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        And for some reason only women can do this mega-multi-tasking!!  Go figure!  LOL LOL

        1. profile image0
          sandra rinckposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Werd! She knows exactly when to stop shampooing, how long to let the conditioner sit, what temperature the water should be to achieve the perfect sheen. She is awesome. big_smile

          1. Lady Guinevere profile image60
            Lady Guinevereposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Does she have naturally curly hair or does she have to use a perm?  Hahahahaha.  I bet her hair is gorgeous!  Just like in those Pantene Hair Commercials!

            1. profile image0
              sandra rinckposted 9 years agoin reply to this

              Panteen!  Oh no, She totally uses all natural materials.  Panteen is too synthetic. It only covers up split ends or masks them to make them look good but really it does more damage then good. 

              I bet it is naturally curly, lol.  Then all she would have to do is take a quick jog through the cosmos to straiten it out and get a good workout.  She rocks!  LOL

        2. GeneriqueMedia profile image60
          GeneriqueMediaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Freaking awesomely funny. wink But I mega multitask all the time. Of course, I'm not the most normal creature to grace the earth.

          Or sane, but y'all have probably figured that. wink

          As for God truly being female...I doubt it has a gender. But thats just my view. Of course, I also doubt it has a conscious--besides all of us and everything else on this planet and others. ;P

          Sincerely,

          G|M

    2. profile image0
      sandra rinckposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Finally!  This explains it all.  I was wondering were all the water went. big_smile

      1. JamaGenee profile image82
        JamaGeneeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        lollollollollollollollol

    3. guidebaba profile image56
      guidebabaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If this is true, I would love to watch her in BIKINI on F-TV on the H@@T Midnight Show @@

    4. shibashake profile image87
      shibashakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      God is definitely NOT a female. If He were, everything would be running a lot more smoothly down here. wink

      1. GeneriqueMedia profile image60
        GeneriqueMediaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Wow, thats the most reasonable argument I've heard all day. wink

    5. Kelsey Tallis profile image63
      Kelsey Tallisposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      God is indeed a woman and I can prove it (although she's really not that concerned about her hair, tbh)... I actually wrote a hub about this topic just today (bizarrely enough). I will publish it tomorrow smile.

      [If my hub is actually about this thread topic, is it okay to post a link in here... I thought I read it was okay if it's OT but it's only my 2nd hub so I don't want to irritate people...]

      And LOL at Misha! I LOVE THAT MOVIE!

      When my youngest brother was about 8, he told us that he thought God was a woman because there were more commercials for girls' toys on TV than for boys' toys, lol!

    6. profile image0
      shreekrishnaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      did you met him.

    7. Jewels profile image84
      Jewelsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Totally.  She's working out the mystery of hair.  She made it happen and, well to improve the next batch in the next manvantara, one has to acknowledge that perfection comes with practice. 

      The mystery of hair. Why is it that some days you wash it, same as yesterday, and yet today it does something different? 
      Whats with the good hair day and bad hair day?
      Why does it seem to have a mind of it's own?  It's supposed to be dead, yet where is it's mind that creates moods? 
      Why haven't hair commercials evolved?  Why does creativity end with hair commercials.  No-one has yet designed an entertaining and different hair commercial. 
      Why do hair commercials bring out mindless stereotypes?

      Mysterious ponderings by God!

  2. Misha profile image71
    Mishaposted 9 years ago

    For uninitiated here is the pic of her smile http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/12932?page=2#post147581

    1. Lady Guinevere profile image60
      Lady Guinevereposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      LOL oh yeah I forgot about that!!! LOL

  3. profile image0
    Leta Sposted 9 years ago

    God probably has ALL genders....and maybe is transgender, trigender, intersex, Torta (or what was that weird rock creature on Star Trek? I forgot..oh, and Tribble)...and maybe is a few other things we cannot even conceive of.

    (Hope Mark Knowles does not come after me!wink)

    1. shibashake profile image87
      shibashakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe, Mark Knowles *is* God and He is just messing with us smile

      1. GeneriqueMedia profile image60
        GeneriqueMediaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Nah, 'cause God wrote him a long winded message through darkside.

        1. shibashake profile image87
          shibashakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          LOL - Thanks for pointing me to it. I can't believe I almost missed a message from God.

          HubPages should at least highlight it or something; and shouldn't it also appear on every Google search result?! God needs to acquire better seo skills (no disrespect).

          1. GeneriqueMedia profile image60
            GeneriqueMediaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Hey man, dood made light. Give him some credit. ;P

            1. apeksha profile image60
              apekshaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

              god is a natural power..

              1. earnestshub profile image90
                earnestshubposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                I do not know if god is a female or not, but it might explain why the pope wears a dress!

                1. GeneriqueMedia profile image60
                  GeneriqueMediaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  Don't forget the hat!

                  Arithra Franklin is envious...

  4. Kelsey Tallis profile image63
    Kelsey Tallisposted 9 years ago

    So here's my proof that God is female wink:

    http://hubpages.com/hub/the-Flying-Spag … -is-Female

  5. frogdropping profile image84
    frogdroppingposted 9 years ago

    Um...I'm of the mind that if God is female then she got something badly wrong. Which makes me lean more towards God being of the male persuasion.

    No female would ever have purposely inflicted the curse on a woman. No way neutral

    Plus most men I know are eternal DIY'ers. So God being male would explain one or two accidents of nature. Wasps for instance. What are they all about?

  6. Inspirepub profile image75
    Inspirepubposted 9 years ago

    Arguments for God being a woman:

    1. Multiple orgasms are easier for women than men.
    2. Finding a partner with whom to have them is easier for women than men.
    3. Being aware of everything at once as more pleasurable than being focused on a single task at a time.

    Arguments against God being a woman:

    1. Personal plumbing arrangements are much more convenient for men than women.
    2. Childbirth.
    3. The non-tax-deductibility of childcare expenses.

  7. profile image0
    fierycjposted 9 years ago

    Only on a hubpage religion forum will you find a group of mature, intelligent adults talking about God. I mean, Almighty God with long hair like a tv commercial girl.

    1. GeneriqueMedia profile image60
      GeneriqueMediaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Did you hear that? No, I'm sure you're right, I'm just nuts.

 
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