Whats The Cheapest Religion?

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   ryankettposted 13 years ago

   Im thinking of finding a religion, you know.... something to do on my days off. But im skint, so have been trying to work out the associated costs of each one. I will go with the cheapest.
   
   Scientology is ruled out immediately as it costs 10% of everything I earn, although currently 10% of nothing is nothing. Can I even afford to join these? Surely they must have a minimum salary for entry?
   
   Islam is one which costs me lots of time. Some go to mosques 5 times a day right? Well time is money, and five times a day is too much money. That book is pretty chunky too, bet that would cost me a fair bit.... but bhurkas have to be cheaper than the expensive designer clothes that my girlfriend wears? Might save a little there.
   
   What about Christianity? what do I need to buy for that? I know that I have to put a few quid in the 'church roof' fund (to buy the vicars next sports car), but what other expensives are involved? A few quid for that book..... Do I save money on weddings?
   
   Looks like Christianity may be the cheapest. Im a bit of a bargain hunter though, any religion able to undercut them? Do they sell them on ebay? Or does anybody have a voucher code?

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      mohitmisraposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      They will all lead you to a quest of knowledge of god which will take time but will be worth it.
      As far as donations are concerned , first fill up your cup when it overflows then give.

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         My Friend Shiylohposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         My friend says:
         Give what you have in your cup.
         When your cup is empty, give your cup.

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      Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Stop shopping for a religion.
      Try K-Mart. They are reinstating the Blue Light Special after getting rid of it 18 years ago. That means stuff at K-Mart is very economical. Everything at K-Mart is disposable, which is the point of having money, right? If things weren't disposable, which I'm told religion is not, then we wouldn't need money to replace them.
      
      You can't buy religion, you have to get it, so I'm told.
      
      Good luck with all that.

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   PJ_Deneenposted 13 years ago

   I'm sure you've heard of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  I don't know how much he charges though.  Maybe if you just bring some wine and garlic bread, he'll let you in.

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      ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Cool, suppose thats going to hinge on whether he likes red or white. A good bottle of red can cost a fair bit, will a $6 bottle do? Garlic bread is currently 2 for 1 at my local shop, so thats not an issue.
      
      I might phone my local church and see if they can cut me a better deal and throw me in a free bible. Does the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster have a religious text? I would need a free pdf version to be persuaded to join.

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         PJ_Deneenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         LOL..you're funny.  I found the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (presumably written by the Great Noodley Appendage himself) at Wikipedia:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel … ti_Monster
         
         But you know the reputation Wikipedia has.  The Gospel has probably been rewritten over the ages to fit the political machinations of .....er, wait, I'm thinking of something else.
         
         

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      AEvansposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I bet he would too and it is free.

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   dohn121posted 13 years ago

   Theravada Buddhism...You set your minimum AND maximum donations.  Probably the best devotees donate their time more than anything else.  It's actually contradictory for our monks to "ask" you to donate.  What do you think of that?

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      ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      So I could donate a minimum of 1 cent per year, and a maximum of 2 cents?
      
      Im looking to get this whole religion malarky into a maximum budget of $10 a year. I have hookers, vodka, and hard drugs to buy on a daily basis. Do you think that they would understand?

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         earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         It's all good!

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            earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Hey Ryan, I'm sorry to hear that! You poor guy! That is a lot of expense, I am not surprised you have a tight budget!

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            ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Wow, well thats decided then. I will become a Theravada Buddhist for 2 cents a year.
            
            I will google them tomorrow and let them know that I have joined up.
            
            I knew that I could count on you lot to find me a bargain. Thanks for all your help guys.
            
            Within days I will be able to impose my new found 'beliefs' on all of you..... actually, Buddhists are peaceful right? Does that mean that I cant have arguments on hubpages? damn.
            
            And will I have to buy one of those little Buddha statues with the bellies that you rub for good luck? Actually, I have always wanted one of those..... but I think that the Church Of Spaghetti Monster may have worked out cheaper now
            
            Still, at least I dont need to give away 10% of my August adsense earnings (thats $3.94 and would pay for 197 years of subs for my chosen religion).
            
            Thanks all, and goodnight.
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            *Free Tibet!

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         dohn121posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Sounds like you found your own religion, Big Guy.  My apologies.
         I didn't know you were putting on a show

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   earnestshubposted 13 years ago

   The FSM is great, with oodles of noodles! I prefer to just worship one of my better fingernails on my right hand though.
   So far cost has been quite affordable.
   Results of prayer has been within the parameters of other religions.

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   Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago

   LMAO you all are too funny

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6. 59

   blue dogposted 13 years ago

   ryan, ryan, feeling a bit feisty tonite?  the question's irrelevant.  gotta admire a man with a spine. 
   
   they'll be knocking at your door shortly.

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      ryankettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I could out-weird any Jehovas Witness/Morman/*insert any applicable missionary or door knocker here*
      
      They would be running within 5 minutes

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         Valerie Fposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         It also could be more fun to out-weird them in more insidious ways. My husband and I once invited a couple of LDS missionaries in. I then proceeded to get out the Bible and the history books, proceeded with the questioning, and within five minutes, I had those poor guys wondering exactly what they'd gotten themselves into.
         
         I enjoyed the discussion so much, I actually was sad that they never came back.

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   nicompposted 13 years ago

   I'd say atheism is the cheapest. Nobody ever asks them for money.

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   My Friend Shiylohposted 13 years ago

   My friend says that love cannot be bought.
   A perfect religion is love, pure love and money cannot buy it.
   If you want love, the price cannot be calculated.
   Love costs you everything, so how can it be calualted?
   Everything is not a number.

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