How do you reach out to someone who is hurting?

1. 68

   saintoddposted 14 years ago

   How do you reach out to someone who is hurting?

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2. 60

   twobmadposted 14 years ago

   I try my best to show my empathy until I gain his/her trust. Then I start listening the story.

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3. 60

   Mark Upshawposted 14 years ago

   By being available and open. Otherwise, by pushing some idea as an answer to their problem/hurt, which is a great way to gain converts and 10% more for the coffers.

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4. 84

   FaithDreamposted 14 years ago

   This a very good question. I believe you need to continue to reach out. Someone who is hurting for whatever reason, may not want you to know how they really feel.
   
   People deal with hurt in different ways, you really need to listen to them. The words they do not say will tell you more than anything else.
   
   If someone is suffering in depression, encourage them to seek professional help. First and foremost, you have to be a real friend. Let them know you are there for them, not just by saying it, but by doing it.

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5. 63

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   You tell them if they need to talk, or if there is anything you can that will help, they should let you know.  You may also want to offer to help get their mind off things by going out and "seeing and talking about something different".
   
   Other than that, you keep in mind that they may be someone who needs to process hurt alone and probably appreciates that you've expressed a willingness to help if you can, and trust that they'll ask for your support/help if/when they want/need it.
   
   When people are the type who look to others for help/support in bad times, they'll usually ask (especially if someone has offered).  As for those who prefer to process things on their own, they can find too much "pressure" to accept support and help intrusive.
   
   So, I'd say, offer the help/support once, but offer ways for the person to get his mind off things as often as you want.  He'll either welcome your offer, or appreciate but refuse it.  In general, such an offer doesn't  (I don't think) seem intrusive to most people who are going through a rough time.
   
   Whatever you do, don't make the mistake that many people often do; which is to believe it "isn't healthy" for a person to want to process his own pain his own way.

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