If you have a discussion with someone, do you always say how you really feel?

1. 83

   pstraubie48posted 12 years ago

   If you have a discussion with someone, do you always say how you really feel?
   
   You are discussing a topic. And all of a sudden you realize you are supporting a view point you don't really believe in. You are just supporting it because it is the opposite of what the other person is saying. Have ever done that? Not the spirit of meanness but just because??
   
   

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2. 70

   carol7777posted 12 years ago

   i am afraid I have.  Interesting thought you brought up.  I guess sometimes it is just easy to agree.

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      NiaLeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      exactly everybody is not always ready for ppen discussion...

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3. 63

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   I don't ever do that.  I say what I think unless it's something that I think that I can't say for one reason or another.  In other words..   If I say it at all it's what I really think.  That doesn't mean I'm not keeping some thoughts to myself - only that if I say something it's what I mean.
   
   I was disgusted one time when someone close to me admitted that s/he would sometimes argue "another side" just "not to give satisfaction" to the person s/he wanted to disagree with.  I was kind of shocked to hear anyone even say s/he would do such a thing; and I thought "What a weak and cowardly way to operate!"  It would be one thing if a person said something like "I'm playing Devil's Advocate here....." and then went on to present an opposite line of thinking.  That's a perfectly acceptable thing to do in a discussion.

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      NiaLeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Now his.is something Crazy to do. I hav dealt with people like that and their opinion will switch as soon as interest slide. Frankly I still remember how this person would just turn 360°! Now discussing is great not arguing!

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   Tonipetposted 12 years ago

   Not exactly. Many times I would always say what I feel but in a nice way that I present myself as neutral as possible. I don't necessarily have to agree with things I don't believe in, that way  my ideas, opposite as they may be, can add to the benefit of discussion, plus, it's better express out what's in the heart than regret in silence. The important thing is we'll all end up with no hurt feelings.

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      NiaLeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That is an open mature discussion i love miss that sometimes... great point

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   2. 84

      Tonipetposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you NiaLee.

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      Lady Wordsmithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, it is better if a discussion can take place without anyone's feelings being hurt.  Unfortunately, it so often happens that people will take an opposite opinion badly and be offended anyway.

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5. 61

   NiaLeeposted 12 years ago

   I used to but realized that sometimes people talk and dont want to hear another opinion so I let them talk and nod. I used to be more outspoken and however honest and kind, I made enemies and got in trouble for that! Sometimes, it's better to remain quiet or neutral. wisdom!

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6. 59

   taazakhabarposted 12 years ago

   os esoppus t'nod I. I hope that answers your question

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7. 83

   pstraubie48posted 12 years ago

   rewsna gnitseretni   ...i got your message...

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8. 85

   Lady Wordsmithposted 12 years ago

   I would never support the opposite view just to disagree with someone else, no.  But I do find that I don't always say exactly what I think, not the whole of my opinion - often because the person I'm talking to is so narrow minded and unswayable that I would be wasting my breath, they wouldn't listen or try to understand at all.  That's not to say that I only want to talk to people who agree with me!  But I like to have a good debate with someone who actually listens to what I have to say before dismissing it, rather than dismissing it out of hand.  They can dismiss it afterwards if they want to, I would respect that.
   
   Then again, I do dismiss the opinions of other people, when I can tell that they're just regurgitating ideas that they've heard somewhere without any real understanding of them.  I prefer not to get into arguments for people who can't think for themselves.
   
   Devil's advocate is something different, because you generally admit that you're offering another viewpoint just to keep the discussion balanced, and everyone within the discussion is aware of it.
   
   I never used to be brave enough to disagree with anyone, and would always just nod and smile when asked 'don't you agree?'.  I don't do that any more!

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      Tonipetposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Like you, I too had been into those just nod and smile when asked "don't you agree?" for fear of others not approving of me. When I realized I was always at the losing end, I did not like it so I started expressing myself.

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9. 68

   Sue St. Clairposted 12 years ago

   It depends on whether or not the person can handle honesty. Many people can not handle emotional honesty. When you are emotionally honest, it changes things. It also begins transforming the relationship. Since some people want you to respond, but do not want to change the relationship, they are making choices about whether they can handle 'truth' or emotional honesty.

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10. 68

    Cara.Rposted 12 years ago

    It depends on the topic and the people. Sometimes people don't want to truly discuss an issue. They just want to talk. If someone is genuine and an actual discussion is being had; then yes I will say how I feel but in a tactful way. My reasoning makes me believe that; despite our differences both parties are able to respect each others points of view.

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    vonda g nelsonposted 12 years ago

    lol......this question is funny.  Now why would you do such a thing!  lol

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12. 80

    zsobigposted 12 years ago

    I guess this very much depends on the situation.
    If I don't want to hurt the person in front of me, yes, I'd support (or in fact: just be quiet and don't say a thing) anything. But if I am not afraid to hurt the other person (or I know they would not be offended by this) I would strongly support my (hopefully right) views.
    I guess during my childhood I did support something just because it was saying the opposite of what my 'enemy' said, but nowadays I won't do this. It just makes no sense for me.

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