When The Rapture Comes

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   Mark Knowlesposted 13 years ago

   So - if those pesky atheists/gnostics/christian kabbalists/agnostics/muslimists/ etc have not driven off the genuine christians - I have a kwestion.
   
   When the rapture comes and you are taken off to be in heaven.....
   
   What happens to your pets?
   
   I saw that someone was offering a service to look after abandoned pets - and...... Well - call me a self serving skeptic if you will but - how much would you be willing to pay to make sure your abandoned pet is properly cared for after the event?
   
   And would you trust an atheist to look after it?
   
   I have a far higher regard for most animals than I do Kristians, so can promise to find it a loving home.
   
   What would this peace of mind be worth to you - say as a yearly insurance fee?

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      BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      An buddy of mine sent me a link to that site, I thought it was a joke. Turns out they were serious.
      
      Since I believe in a post-tribulation rapture, and maybe/maybe not necessarily a literal one ... I'm not too worried about my pets.
      
      Of course, I don't currently own any pets ... Just in case, you know

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      Valerie Fposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Most Christians don't even believe there will be an actual rapture, so stop lumping us all in with a 19th century American movement.

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         Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I am talking to the genuine Kristians - not the Katholiks.

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      sooner than laterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ohh heck. I'll bite. I'm just the sort mark is looking for---> more traditional that is. The answeres are in the book, not the "left behind" movies that this question seems to stem from.
      
      The events in order.
      1. the seven plagues will wipe out most of the population.
      2. the plagues will kill nearly every animal living on earth.
      3. Jesus will return, but never touch the earth.
      4. All wicked will die in his presense. remaining animals die now as well. All that live now are the 144K that are saved. Could be litteral number, but it is prophetic and could be much higher.(nobody knows the real answere to this and I have studied it greatly... so please don't try to convince me of your version. I'd rather wait and see)
      5. The dead in Christ will rise. (those in the grave)
      6. The wicked dead remain dead in the grave or on the ground.
      7. Those risen from the grave will meet with Christ
      8. The few saved that survived the rapture meet with Christ
      9. The wicked that are dead stay on earth(1k years prophetic) to rise once more...their judgement.
      10. The wicked raise from the grave.
      11. The new Jerusalem is placed on earth.
      12. The wicked rally a final war against Christ and the saved.
      13. The wicked are destroyed to an utter end by fire; consumed and dead as if they never existed.
      
      This simple picture that I just painted can be pulled right from the bible. And to answere the question about the animals- well the bible never says what happens to them. Jesus said that every breathing animal has a soul. I'm sure their end fate will be surprisingly pleasant.

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         mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         how do you survive the rapture?  the rapture is before Christ returns, then?

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      QuincyDaWonderDogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      you mean...dogs don't go to Heaven?
      
      
      
      'k, dat is scandalous

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         earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I'm with the dog on this one!

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            AEvansposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            lolololo he is so unique he is adorable!!!

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               earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               That dog should be selling used cars! What a face!

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                  AEvansposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  He certainly should be!!! lololololo
                  
                  But he is cute!

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         BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Dogs go to heaven!
         
         Now, cats, they gotta stay down here with Mark and the nasty blended scotch whiskey.

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            QuincyDaWonderDogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            hey now...wait a minute...I think I want to be where da cats go. I am willing to tolerate dem for some good scotch

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               BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Good single malt scotch is in heaven ...
               
               Since the question has come up ... if I may interject for those who happen to believe the bible (for those who don't just put up with me for a minute or two, thanks!)
               
               It's my interpretation that the bible says animals (dogs, and yes even cats!) go to heaven...
               
               I base this on my interpretation of the following verse:
               
               Revelation 5:13: And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne ...
               
               
               It looks to me like the animals are praising the Creator in this verse. 
               
               So, sorry Mark, I'm not buying your rapture insurance for my pets.  Except I don't have any.  But if I did I wouldn't.  'cuz they're coming with!

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      Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      LOL
      
      Not only is your concept of the "rapture" off,
      but no I wouldn't trust you to look after a rock, much less a pet. 
      
      Why don't you write a book about making money in the tribulation?
      Many silly misguided people would probably buy it right now;  you can be sittin' high and mighty on the stupidity of people, like Obama is!

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         Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Nice Christian response.
         I guess your other cheek got slapped one too many times, eh?

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            Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Perhaps.   Maybe by the mercenary type you're defending.
            
            Some people see dollar signs in everything, just waiting to swoop in and grab whatever they can at someone else's expense.

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               Danny R Handposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Those people are called Republicans! HEE HEE HEEEEEE!!!!!!

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         Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         My concept? I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life, well.... except for everything you say.
         
         Interesting that you have such a low opinion of my caring abilities though. Wouldn't trust me to look after a rock huh? I will have you know I have several pet rocks and  some of them are not dead yet.
         
         And while you are here being educated, may I recommend the concept known as a "joke"? It is what non-religious people do to while away the time and make waiting around to die more fun, instead of pointing accusing fingers at the sinners.
         
         I understand Jesus liked a good joke every now and then.

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            Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            You "have several pet rocks and some of them aren't dead yet"!
            
            haha now THAT's a funny joke!   I like it!
            Yes even I have a sense of humor.  Lots more times than I'm given credit for around here, for sure.  But yeah I do.
            
            It's rather good to see that you do too.
            I do appreciate you being a bit kinder than usual in your reply, too.   And am wondering if it's 'cause it's "your" thread.
            Not holdin' my breath on a recurrence, of course....
            
            

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               Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Dear me - you do have a low opinion of me don't you?  And all because I believe in love and tolerance. How odd.
               
               Sure - you should expect a "kind" response for telling me you wouldn't trust me to look after a rock.
               
               Great job on hiding the sense of humor though. I am fooled totally. Just so you know - if you have to tell people you have a sense of humor......... 

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                  Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  No kiddin'??
                  
                  sheesh!  YOU had to tell ME you had a sense of humor!  So what's the difference?
                  
                  ha

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                     Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Ummm - No. I didn't.
                     
                     Scroll up.

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                        Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        I'm tired of scrolling for now!
                        
                        Gonna go have a snack.  The talk of BBQ made me hungry!

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                           Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                           hmmmm BBQ dog, arggghhhhhh

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                              BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              Now ... if you're talking about a Chicago Style dog ... that's something completely different ... there was this place on Jackson  or Monroe, a couple of blocks west of Michigan right off the loop .... don't remember the name, it was like 1986 or 87 ... had the best hot dogs in Chicago.

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                                 Obscure Divineposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                 Yeah, the BBQ dog has more flavor than the "cat on a stick" that is often served at local Chinese restaurants, but the oriental stir-fry has a better balance of domestic animals - when it comes to random protein sources.

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                                    BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                    "The cat's in the kettle at the Peking Moon ... the place that I eat every day at noon"...
                                    
                                    An old, old parody!

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      Deborah Sextonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I believe two pets are allowed on the trip as long as they are carried on board.

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2. 66

   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   
   Well presented. I don't have pets. I have exes. I assume from their dialog that I will be left behind with you to look after the kinder creatures of the earth. As for others, I await their responses...

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      Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I will sign you up as a "carer" immediately.
      
      BDazzler - there is more than one kind of rapture? Dear me. Try as I might - I can find no such thing in the good bok.

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         BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         The idea of the rapture comes from 1 Thes 4:17  Then we who are alive and remain will be caught  up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always  be with the Lord. 
         
         (Emphasis mine)
         
         The term "rapture" is from a Latin word used in the Vulgate for the phrase "caught up".
         
         The question is when does this occur. I believe this question is open to interpretation. 
         
         The idea of a "pre-tribulation" rapture was introduced or popularized in the late 1800s or early 1900s (I'm doing this off the top of my head, so dates may be off) and became popular among evangelicals.

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            Twenty One Daysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            caught up together with them in the clouds translates to glorified, as in cloud by day, cloud of witnesses.
            
            i don't think it points to an collective event..

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               BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               You may be correct. I think that eschatological scriptures are among the most easily mis-interpreted, and that's why there's such a huge divergence of opinions on what they mean.
               
               They are often based on conclusions from deductions from interpretations of translations ... which leaves a lot of room for error in my mind. 
               
               I'm one of the smartest people I know, and I can't figure it out well enough to take responsibility for teaching it!

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      Deborah Sextonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      If you are taken, you still have to make your alimony payments.

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   Ohmaposted 13 years ago

   Mark you really enjoy stirring up the Bees don't you?

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      Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      No - I am just worried about the abandoned pets. I mean - if Jesus does come back to whisk off the righteous - that will be an awful lot of pets
      
      I will organize to take care of them. Daniel has already offered to be a "carer" and any fool can see he is a nice guy. Plus - I will make some money on the side.
      
      You can't take it with you.

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         Ohmaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I wont be going so i guess I am a pet keeper as well.

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            barryrutherfordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Well someone has to keep the RSPCA in business

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            Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Then we flip a coin to see who gets the nice ones.
            

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               Ohmaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               we could share that would be the Kristian thing to do.

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                  Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  No, I think we can determine an equitable solution without pretending to be religious. Besides the boss (Mark) is a hardnosed smart arse. We can't lose our jobs on the first day! There may not be a lot else to do beside poop scooping and between you and me, I think I'd rather save that for the religious nuts who didn't make the jump to light speed.
                  

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         cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         i want to be in charge of the bunnies

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      3. 66

         Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         As principle fool (aka: "nice guy") in your operation, you'll need to be prepared that I charge a hefty fee plus perks and backend bonuses. There is a reason I won't make the rapture.
         

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            CMHypnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            If there are going to be plagues following the rapture, you will need good healthcare too!

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   myownworldposted 13 years ago

   Well, according to one faith, we're supposed to be reincarnated as pets ourselves....so, maybe...we could all give each other company....!

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      Deborah Sextonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, which ones believe that?

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   brimancandyposted 13 years ago

   That is an interesting question, but, only a smart televangelist will give you a money answer, as in how much is your pet's true salvation worth to you? As some televangelists are selling rapture kits to prepare you if you are not saved. $250.00!
   
   That really tells you that if there is a rapture, these crooks are going to be lavishing themselves with all kinds of stuff from the money they will get up until a rapture occurs. It's just a bunch of BS. If there is a rapture as described in the bible, why would anyone need a kit? And, who would be stupid enough to buy one? It's like being at ground zero just before the bomb drops, and some idiot is trying to sell you water and life insurance.
   
   There is always some con going on.

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   BDazzlerposted 13 years ago

   BTW according the the BAV (That's the BDazzler Authorized Version) of the bible, the pets and Single Barrel Jack are coming with, and y'all are getting stuck with nasty critters like viruses and nasty blended scotch and Evan Williams.

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      Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      See- that is my definition of hell right there. Evan Williams?

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         BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah, nastiest whiskey I ever had the misfortune of tasting.

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            Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Ah - you have obviously never tried Suntory Scotch.

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               BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I have not ... and thanks for the warning!

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   Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

   I've been a fan of the Toronto Raptures since they started playing in the NBA.  I'm not sure about their pets, but the players start disappearing around playoff time.

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   mega1posted 13 years ago

   and what happens if they catch up the wrong person (someone like me, for instance) and bring them up into the rapture and then have to evict them for being ripe old sinners - do they just get dropped back anywhere?  will they be put back in their homes?  and then what?  will there be "after-rapture ptsd" for the unacceptable ones?  or do those kind of mistakes happen?   oh, you have made me think of so many more queschings!

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      Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Well Satan got into heaven originally. I guess you'll just have to get kicked out with the likes of him or resign yourself to stay here with the rest of us. However, if you spontaneously levitate, I'm not standing near you.

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   you'll have to go into the doggie daycare business, and expand it to cats, turtles, birds, hamsters.. lions, tigerssss and bears, oh my!

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    Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago

    Mark...can I help out with the animals? please???

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11. 61

    sooner than laterposted 13 years ago

    Mega1
    The rapture is the gathering of the saved to meet up with Jesus, both dead and alive. Are you wondering how to survive the plagues and be one of the 144K(prophetic). Those people witness the final events including the plagues. I don't know if all of the saved alive at the start of the plagues will survive. Guess time will tell.

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    sooner than laterposted 13 years ago

    I'm off. Peace to all, Sooner.
    Mega1- I hope I answered your question. if not, I will try later.

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    Jeramiposted 13 years ago

    Mark...  you seem to be able to pinpoint those parts that christians are in error for believing.
       There is a bug in the water! You spotted it !
    do ya through out the baby with the wash cause there is a bug in the water?????   Yea I guess ya do !

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       Jeramiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Also if anybody wants to kinow???...  The rapture happened about 1900 years ago!   We are living in the times of the Gentiles.   Read your bible !!!!!

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    AEvansposted 13 years ago

    Mark, of all people I would entrust you to look after our 3 Cocker Spaniels, 5 Cockatiels and 1 Dove I know that you would give them plenty of TLC.

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    sooner than laterposted 13 years ago

    yes, watch my dead pets too

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    mistyhorizon2003posted 13 years ago

    Well I am staying with the animals, so much nicer than being stuck with a load of people who willingly left their pets behind!!! My guess is that even Jesus will agree after a donkey was nice enough to carry him and Oxen, sheep etc were there at his birth, but people apparently nailed him to a cross and his followers didn't try and step in and rescue him. I reckon he needed a good pack of dogs behind him who would have defended him to the death

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    Ohmaposted 13 years ago

    

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       Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Ewe R jist 2 sassy fer me, girl.
       I love it!

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    Ohmaposted 13 years ago

    LOL

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    Onusonusposted 13 years ago

    Since the question was directed towards genuine Christians such as myself, I'll go ahead and answer in loving meekness, that there is no way in Hell I would take the chance of leaving my pets to be exposed to such athestic propaganda. I would rather my dog and/or cat die a martyr's death than take the chance.
    
    Signed, your brother in Christ.
    Onus.................

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       Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I assume the only way that your pet could die a martyr is to murder it.
       I think you may be painting yourself in a corner by what you said.
       
       Ohma and I would be willing to rescue your death threatened pet, if we knew where it is....
       
       Just sayin'.

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          Onusonusposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Not a chance. Martyr's death I say.

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          Ohmaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Ditto that save the Animals!

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             Onusonusposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Jjim Jones coolaid for all of them.
             
             Bless you all...........

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       Crazdwriterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       

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    BDazzlerposted 13 years ago

    This is, of course, a topic of serious debate among the various denominations... Consider these two churches across the street from each other ...
    
    

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       Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Wait. These guys HAVE to be in the religion forums already, don't they!!
       This is way too much fun!
       
       All cases dismissed regarding religion. These signs speak for themselves!

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          wyanjenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          This is beautiful.
          I love sign wars.

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    habeeposted 13 years ago

    I'm taking my two Danes with me. The cats can fend for themselves! They're mostly feral, anyway, so I'd never be able to catch 'em.
    
    My canine furkids are kinder and more compassionate than most humans I know.

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    Disturbiaposted 13 years ago

    When the rapture comes, my skin is going to be glistening with sweat and I'm going to be panting hard and heavy.
    
    After the rapture comes, I'm going to roll over, exhausted, and sleep for about six hours... and nobody better wake me up either.

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       Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       i think that is when YOU come, not the rapture

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          Disturbiaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          LOL, I thought my coming was my rapture.

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    JeanMeriamposted 13 years ago

    What about children who haven't converted? I don't see anyone offering to take care of the kids.
    
    And what's with these parents? Going on rapture vacation and leaving the children in the hands of the sodomite baby killers????
    
    That's what it takes?
    
    I'm staying home!

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    KeithTaxposted 13 years ago

    Mark, I'll be over with the BBQ sauce after the rapture. You still plan on taking care of pets in year R+1? Right?
    
    R+1 is the first year after the rapture.

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       BDazzlerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       BBQ DOg now THAT's gross.

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          KeithTaxposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I was actually thinking more along the line of a cat. You know, pus....

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             Disturbiaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I've heard it all tastes just like chicken

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                Twenty One Daysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                yup, and very stringy.

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          Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          haha
          but that's actually more realistic, more likely to happen during the tribulation.....if the tribulation were real....

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    paarsurreyposted 13 years ago

    Hi friends
    
    Jesus is not to come again physically. To know as to what it means by rapture, please google <Jesus 1835-1908>
    
    Thanks

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       Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Did he text you that He has been indefinitely delayed?

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          Obscure Divineposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Jesus is out of gas money; more donations please...  Damn, how much money does this guy need!!!  Ha-ha!

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          paarsurreyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Hi friends
          
          A person who had died a natural and peaceful death like Jesus , who died in India; that person cannot come again; only another person like him can come. Jesus himslef explained to the Jews the meaning of Elijah's second coming. So Jesus' second coming is only to set right the religion called "Christianity"; this is being done very nicely by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad 1835-1908.
          
          Thansk
          
          I am an Ahmadi peaceful Muslim

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