"If" the Monotheistic "god" is factual, Why Masturbation?

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  1. qwark profile image56
    qwarkposted 7 years ago

    "If" the, omnipotent, omniscient monotheistic god thing created man then, so that Adam wouldn't be lonely, why did the "god" thing find it necessary to create masturbation?

    1. prettydarkhorse profile image64
      prettydarkhorseposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      He doesn't have free will, he has to do it -- that thing I cant say it, hehehe

      Maybe the next forum thread will ask, what was God doing before the creation? Is he doing that thing?

      1. qwark profile image56
        qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Pretty! Profound! Good point! Yes, what what this god thing doing for those many googolplex yrs before us....lol good job!

        1. prettydarkhorse profile image64
          prettydarkhorseposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          you're back qwark -- genuis -- maybe HE is counting infinite and drinking beer while afloat talking to himself and then doing that thing so that he will be busy

          1. qwark profile image56
            qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            good to be back Pretty!~ 'Specially when there still remain the logical and pragmatic, such as yourself. to communicate with...you represent a reasonable facet of forum hubbers....:-)

    2. Pcunix profile image90
      Pcunixposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Girls night out?

      1. qwark profile image56
        qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        good answer amigo...lol

    3. Pandoras Box profile image65
      Pandoras Boxposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ah Qwark. I have missed you. What the heck was I think staying away from this lovely place for so long..

      Let's see, hmmm..

      Well it couldn't have been to prevent priests from molesting young children...

      No, no, it couldn't have been to keep religion from oppressing women as playthings and property either...

      Could definitely not have been for the entertainment value, or for relaxation purposes, or simply to grant us the pleasure, no...


      Okay I got nothing. Good luck with that!

      1. qwark profile image56
        qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Hi Pandy:
        Been away for quite a While. Glad yer still around. Yes I forgot the daliances of "priests!" Great reminder!
        Good to be back!

    4. Tom Cornett profile image78
      Tom Cornettposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Because it was funny.  smile

    5. C.A. Johnson profile image68
      C.A. Johnsonposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Sometimes instant gratification is better than waiting on some else's whim.

      1. C.A. Johnson profile image68
        C.A. Johnsonposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Further if you want something done right, it's usually better to do it yourself.

  2. qwark profile image56
    qwarkposted 7 years ago

    Damn! I really hit a sensitive one with this this one....I don't think anyone has the "balls" to even try to answer it...specially not the all knowing and all principled monotheistic pedants....lol does anyone even think "they" might know the meaning of the word "pedant?"   har har har :-)

    1. Greek One profile image74
      Greek Oneposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      i don't get the question

  3. fatfist profile image80
    fatfistposted 7 years ago

    qwark.....where the hell have you been? I haven't laughed this much in quite a while lol

    Welcome Back!!

    1. qwark profile image56
      qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Fatfist: lolol...see what being away does? it makes me seem sillier than before....lol good to be back....glad yer still around to heckle me....:-)

      1. fatfist profile image80
        fatfistposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        qwark,
        Not heckling you at all.....I just enjoy the questions you pose to the fundies smile
        Nice to see you back!

  4. LeanMan profile image88
    LeanManposted 7 years ago

    Obviously because the eve that he created was not as helpful as intended!!! Off shopping and gossiping when she should have been attending to Adams "needs"...

  5. Greek One profile image74
    Greek Oneposted 7 years ago

    he gave Adam an extra rib so that her could bend down to REALLY pleasure himself

  6. profile image0
    AKA Winstonposted 7 years ago

    So there you are, stuck inside this fucking paradise with nothing for companionship but a stupid, teasing, holier-than-thou bitch wearing a fig leaf and a smile and a Don't Touch Me sign, and meanwhile your snake needs to get milked so you turn to a fruit for relief - and then fucking God has the audacity to crucify you for not saying Simon Says before squirting your Johnny apple seed on the ground and besides, you shouldn't be queering around with fruits, anyway, asshole, so you and all your offspring forever will burn in fiery fucking hell.

    Fortunately, God Is Love, so if you grovel enough through the desert killing animals as sacrifices you may get to live in Hollywood some day and make motion pictures like Stephen - he's a good kid - a little on the gangly side, but a good kid.

    1. qwark profile image56
      qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Such "profundity" just cannot go unrewarded....lol...but I'm simply at a loss for words.....:-)

    2. Pandoras Box profile image65
      Pandoras Boxposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      smile Very good.

    3. the pink umbrella profile image77
      the pink umbrellaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      you kill me aka...you just kill me. rotfl

  7. wyanjen profile image81
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    Hey!
    The gang's all here.
    Were we all gone? Sounds like it....

    Silly qwark, how on earth can one become holy & what-not without a never ending temptation to do battle against?

    1. qwark profile image56
      qwarkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Jen: Damn! That just simply whizzed over my head....Hahahaha....good to be back.

    2. Pandoras Box profile image65
      Pandoras Boxposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Jen! It's great to see you.

      Yes, I've been staying away for the most part for the last couple of months I guess. Was working very hard as you can see by my current magnificient hub count. wink

      Hope all's going well for you!

      1. wyanjen profile image81
        wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        well, my company cut pay awhile back so I have to move to a cheaper place. My income took a real big hit. Been struggling with that all summer. Plus, the only other person left in my department left the company so I have been working 16+ hours a day since June.

        We hired a replacement but the replacement bailed out, leaving me alone once again to prep 7 presses every day.
        Actually I left early today - only worked 12 hours lol

        But on the plus side, I am closing on a new house this week. And we are interviewing some people tomorrow. So maybe I can have my life back soon.

        Love your new avatar wink

        1. Pandoras Box profile image65
          Pandoras Boxposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah? You don't think my skin looks a little dry?

          Wow, sounds like you've been bustin' yer butt all summer. Presses? Printer shop? Do they print interesting stuff? That could be distracting.

          Well I guess the good news is that you didn't get laid off like I did, but there really trying to squeeze every cent out of ya. Don't let 'em work you to death!

          Congrats on the new house though, that's always exciting.

          Geez, I hope you're up for some vacation time soon.

          I'm about off for the night. Cause just thinking about working 12 hours a day for someone else wore me out. Just kidding, but man I hope things ease up for you soon.

          Take care of yourself, we miss you!

          1. wyanjen profile image81
            wyanjenposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Well, my Nouveau Poor status is actually what saved my butt.
            Michigan has a down-payment assistance program which I qualified for - so I only have to put 1% down on the house.
            I found one under $40,000 - not too hard to do in Detroit at the moment - so my mortgage will be exactly half what my rent is right now.

            **deep breath, big sigh**

            I was getting ready to go out of state, but when I found out about the aid program I decided to tough it out here. Printing jobs are tough to come by these days... There have been many days when I wished I was laid off instead of underemployed. If I'm going hungry anyway, why bother going in? lol

            Take it easy, see you later...

            1. Pandoras Box profile image65
              Pandoras Boxposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              Funny you mention that. I just read and article today about that, about how difficult people are finding it to make ends meet on reduced pay. Apparently a lot of companies are doing that. It's not enough. Now even the people lucky enough to still have their jobs are losing their homes.

              It's a screwed up situation with no end in sight.

  8. profile image0
    AKA Winstonposted 7 years ago

    Reality is that the Creation script called for a man named Jack, not Adam, so after 6 days of screwing around God was still a Jack off.

 
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