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Empty Roads

  1. Paraglider profile image94
    Paragliderposted 9 years ago

    These are the empty roads with barren fields
    on either side. The fence is well maintained
    but forms no barrier. To cross it yields
    no bounty. No-one goes where nothing's gained.

    Here was a vineyard, planted with Grenache.
    Deep-rooted vines, they were the last to die.
    A painter caught them, green against the ash
    but lived to see them wither, by and by.

    Where no trees shade the ancient burial mound
    the winds that gleaned the topsoil from the stones
    whistle their idiot tunes, round and around,
    as if to call to dance the nameless bones.

    The days of grief, of mourning, all are done:
    how shall a sigh be heard, where none draws breath?
    The last war on mortality is won,
    for we are done with life, and done with death.

    We sojourned long as creatures of the soil,
    endured eternal rounds of death and birth,
    to end as gods, rewarded for our toil.
    Look! We have built the Moon upon the Earth.

    1. mohitmisra profile image61
      mohitmisraposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very meaningfull lines:)
      We sojourned long as creatures of the soil,
      endured eternal rounds of death and birth,
      to end as gods, rewarded for our toil.

      1. Paraglider profile image94
        Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks Mohit - it must have been an accident wink

        1. mohitmisra profile image61
          mohitmisraposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          lol no I see sparks of a nice poet in you.

          1. Paraglider profile image94
            Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            touché  wink

    2. Ben Bush profile image56
      Ben Bushposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Paraglider,

      I realize that poetry comes from within. I also realize that a person't poetry can come from various motivations and purposes. I also realize that much can be completely subjective for the reader. Sooooooo......

      I compliment you, on not just the bleakness referred to by an ealier reader, but its rather stark bleakness on at least a couple different levels. The bleakness seems to be enhanced by the limited nature of the reward emanating from the work.

      Could this just be the jaundiced view of an American always looking beyond and expecting more? Maybe. But I didn't think you would appreciate a hypocritical response.

      Once again, it paints a picture well.

      1. Paraglider profile image94
        Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks Ben. The bleakness in this one is intentional. One of the thoughts I'm trying to put across is the destruction of the environment by actions of mankind, whether through war or just gross overproduction. Turning the Earth into the Moon (a dead rock) might be the limit of our attempt at playing god.

    3. profile image0
      sandra rinckposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Eternal peace, everlasting rest.  It is making me sleepy.  Loved it! smile

      1. Paraglider profile image94
        Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks Sandra - sleep well smile

  2. dishyum profile image56
    dishyumposted 9 years ago

    Good one, PG smile

  3. Shalini Kagal profile image80
    Shalini Kagalposted 9 years ago

    Hi Paraglider - I've read this one of yours earlier, thought it brilliant but just couldn't post a comment. You have such mastery over the words, the imagery, the pentametre and yet, a bleakness seeps through making it seem like an intrusion to comment about it.

  4. Paraglider profile image94
    Paragliderposted 9 years ago

    Dishyum - thank you smile

    Shalini - Have I posted this here before? I didn't think I had, but I suppose it's possible. Thanks for the re-read (!) and comment. The problem with this one, that would make it unpublishable, is that the rhymes are a bit tired. I thought I'd give it an airing here to see if the material itself might trigger a discussion.

    1. Marisa Wright profile image99
      Marisa Wrightposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Goodness, if that's your definition of "tired rhymes"....I think it's a terrific poem.

      1. Paraglider profile image94
        Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks Marisa. What I meant by that is that too many of the rhyme pairs have been overused elsewhere, in particular bones/stones and earth/birth. Publishers pick up on these things. But it doesn't bother me because I'm not writing for publication anyway. I placed it here because I thought the material itself might appeal to this group.

  5. Shadesbreath profile image84
    Shadesbreathposted 9 years ago

    Yes, you did post this before, and it was awesome last time too.  One of the best last lines of all time, dude.

    1. Paraglider profile image94
      Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Whoops - put it down to a senior moment then! I'd no recollection of doing it or I wouldn't have reposted.

  6. Make  Money profile image80
    Make Moneyposted 9 years ago

    Paraglider this poem reminds me of a thread I posted in the political forum called the The age of wormwood.

    It reminds me of the dead zone around Chernobyl.

    Mike

    1. Paraglider profile image94
      Paragliderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Good, because post nuclear desolation is the bleakness I was shooting for. Thanks

  7. maestrowhit profile image60
    maestrowhitposted 9 years ago

    This is great, man. It's hard to say anything else about it. Maybe once I think about it for a while, something noteworthy will arise in my mind. But at it is, I'm just enjoying it. Thanks!

 
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