Why is it so hard for a step child to accept you?

1. 60

   vshiningposted 14 years ago

   Why is it so hard for a step child to accept you?

   replyreport
2. 60

   Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

   I think it comes down to the fact that they feel you are trying to replace their mum or dad. Sometimes you get lucky and have a good relationship with your stepchild but if ever there's a big misunderstanding - they will always say "you are not my mum/dad". There are however some exceptional circumstances where step children will accept you.  Also, as they grow they become wiser/understand life more and accept you more. Your question is quite touching. Due to this problem, I avoid relationships with people who already have kids - for my peace of mind.

   replyreport
3. 59

   knowwellindiaposted 14 years ago

   First of all why you think that child is not accepting you. Second thing is child think you are replacing her/his be loved mom. As time goese he accept you if your bheaviour is quit good with him/her.

   replyreport
4. 69

   Cam Anjuposted 14 years ago

   Depends on the situation, being 3 years old  I took to my step dad easily and never gave it a second thought. Being older it could be they think you/whoever is trying to replace someone they already see as being there or is gone now and they don't want to handle that.
   
   Or you/whoever is NOT their mother/father and they most often want to make that clear... as it may hurt them more then they let anyone else see.

   replyreport
5. 57

   tinkerbell09posted 14 years ago

   Coming from personal experience, I did not like my step-mom or step-dad.  I didn't like her because she took my dad from me one day when I went to visit him to go get married.  Years later, they had a church wedding and she put a girl who is not related to us in any way shape or form in the wedding, and put me in charge of the sign in book.  That was not a good day for me, but I respected my dad and did everything I could to try to get along with her. Besides, she gave me a little sister and brother who I love with all my heart, she can go jump off a bridge for all I care.  My step-dad, he treated my mom like a slave rather than his woman.  He even tried to keep me from going to see my dad when I wanted to see him.  My mom and dad did not get along after they divorced so my mom went along what he would tell her.  But again, I respected my mom and did the best I could to get along with him.
   
   If you want to know how to get your step-child to like you (or who ever your referring to) make sure that the mom or dad is making them respect you and that the mom or dad that is not in the picture is not telling the child lies about you to make them not like you.  At the same time, show that child that you care for them and don't show any kind of disrespect to the absent parent or the parent that is present.  If you show disrespect, they will disrespect.  Let the child know that you are not trying to replace a parent, but giving them an extra parent to love and rely on.

   replyreport