I always wondered why those little words effected people so much, so i ask my fellow hubbers out there to tell me and try to answer the question, "why is saying i love you so hard?"
Because once you say it you can't take it back and you just opened yourself up wide for good or bad.
Most of the time it's hard because it isn't love anyway it's lust. We must understand that LOVE is an action word and NOT a feeling. When we are honest with ourselves we know that we don't love the person, we might be fond of them, care about them, but not love them in the romantic sense of the word.
This depends on who you are saying it to. If a boyfriend/girlfriend for whom you are unsure of your feelings....yes, think 'er through. Kids, family, especially need to hear that. I grew up not hearing those words and it was very difficult for me to say that UNTIL I married a man who said it consistently to his children...for good or bad. I can NOW say those words to my parents and accept those words back without wanting to crawl out of my skin. It is what it is...
Thanks but No thanks! Not into beard rash mate!
Hope you don't mind the comments? They're coming from people who DON'T Have a Problem Expressing themselves!
becouse to tell some one you love them you have to understand them first also to love some one you have to love all of them not just the good parts and love is for life.
before i tell anyone i love them i have to get to know them fully and then it takes me a long time to accept that i love them with all there faults i loved my wife and even though she left me for some one else and are divorced for 8 years i still love her and want her to be happy.
to many people say i love you when they dont mean it they just think they like some on at the time.
many people say it was love at first site when they mean it was lust at first site and love came later when they got to know and understand each other.
Oh it's not hard to say that at all! It's much, much harder to mean it and to know what it means!
There have been some really good points written, but in my opinion, love is easy to say if it's true in your heart.
Well I say saying an doing is one thing. But it is hard for anyone to say those affectionate words, Why its so hard? Maybe your not saying it enough try saying it more often, if you don't you just might get face mask. Be ready to get penalize it happens to the best of us.Don't just take my advice believe, that you can say it take a deep breath especialy if its your wife. So take that under heavy consideration they say practice makes perfected........ the Blue Sun..................
I think most of the people who wanna say this, dont actually love from heart..
so they cant get that confidence
Saying "I love you" is hard sometimes because people often think that because I love them I also love everything they do unconditionally, or that I MUST love everything about them in order to love them.
Err...Stevennix, saying "I love you so hard" is.......umm.....a different story. Your mis-placement of the quotation marks is distracting. LOL
I think Scott said it best
You are nervous and scared...you do the what if game a lot to yourself before you actually say it. what if I say this will he/she say it back? will they be scared of me, hate me? etc etc...takes a lot of courage to say those words to someone you truly care about.
Except for saying it to your family
And also once you declare your love for someone , whether you like it or not there is gonna be some responsibility involved and complete commitment .That Is a tall order !
22 years ago I told a great girl that I love her. 22 years later she is my wife and I have told her the same words over and over on a daily basis.
For me saying I love you to my beautiful wife is the easiest thing because she makes it so easy for me.
I don't plan on saying those words again ever. Ever.
I won't let myself be that vulnerable.
To quote a friend of mine : If you do not take a chance , you don,t have one !
Not always easy but definitely worth it when you finally meet the right person
That is a nice thought
But I'm finished up. Been demolished
1. Never say never
2. It's very good you do not PLAN to say those words again. That might only mean that you WILL say them
3. Time heals all wounds, however deep.
No! No! No!
Love is never to be given up.
Those who do give up on love, don't stand a chance against life's cruelness. That connection is a must, if you want experience life to the fullest and honestly say to yourself that you've always given 100% of yourself to search for love.
In the end, you'll find it and probably in the most of unlikely place or time. But, you will find it.
Don't shut people out, because once you do, it's hard to let even friends or family get close, and that's never good.
Obviously you can't spew the "I love you" to everyone you meet. And, regardless of whether one says I love you or not, the vulnerability will always be there in other areas. I have found that when I REALLY love someone....it's an urge to say it rather than a requirement. I tell my friends that I love them all the time, no I'm not gay and even if I were....I want them to know that my life would not be the same without them. And, lets face it when they walk out the door I may never see them again. I had two near death experiences last year. Thankfully, I'm here to tell the story. When they read the story, they cry because they realize how close they came to losing someone they care about. Just a thought. I wish you well
Wyanjen, you're clearly a much quicker student than I am. Although it took me until my 7th wife (Pam) to hit the Marital Jackpot, I've not found those words hard to say for quite a long time.
But 'twas not always the case. I well recall getting "burned" a number of times in my dating years (16-21) and refusing to allow myself to "feel" for the girl who eventually became my (first) wife of some 8 years. Every time we got together in the early goings, I'd "gauge" how far she seemed to fallen for me...and then allow myself to fall "just not quite that far". I do believe it was quite a long time before I could say those words to her.
yeah, me neither. it seems like every girl i ever say those words too never returns them back or there's some circumstances that prevents us from being together. thats why i say i think love is about trial and error. you have to go through a lot of heartache before you meet the person you belong with.
I've learned in emotional matters not to take stuff personally. If they are incapable of parroting it back....that's not YOUR problem, it's theirs. People say and do what they need to in order to "self preserve" and usually that has nothing to do with anyone around them. I hope that makes sense. Hang in and peace out!!
Goodnight rebakahELLE. Thanks
@ Stevennix.... This is a Very Strange Question to Ask; Coming from a guy All Lined Up and Ready to Gallop!
umm...im not sure if i understand what you mean though buddy. what are you trying to say?
if i say that word, I will be totally committed and I will give my all, it is just hard to say when you dont feel it! I said it before once and it hurts like "hell" as they say. I will say that again for the last chance if ever and I hope it will be forever!
lol. i could make a clever joke about that, but i don't want to offend anyone here.
Yep.. Close your Eyes.... It's Daniel-Day-Louis
ok, LOL< you are really making me laugh...
maybe he wouldnt smell like an englishman, I will know the smell of HIM! in my dreams
but D Day Lewis is already married cant still pretend
Phoooooey!!! A Minor Inconvenience!! Don't let that get in the way of a raunchy dream
It's not hard, it is hard to be sure you are correct in doing so though!
g'nite everyone and I hope everyone can say those words, everybody deserves somebody to love and somebody who will love them!
Just know yourself. Trust your heart, and trust your mind. You'll know when the time is right. If you have mixed emotions saying “I Love You” to someone, then maybe it's not the right time or person to say it to!
I think this may be because we're not sure exactly what love is... and most of us don't want to say something like that lightly.
You can take my advice how ever you like. I realize we've recently had words, but regardless, I'd like to help.
Why is saying "I Love You" so hard?
I've truly loved 3 women in my life(I'm 41) and I can honestly say - to be able to love another person, you must love yourself, in all aspects.
There can be a multiple of reasons, for why you have trouble saying it.
Is it fear of commitment?
Or never loved anyone before?
Those are the only two based causes for a person to have a problem with saying "I Love You".
If you have any fear(insecurity) with regards to the relationship, then it plays a factor. A relationship cannot have doubts of any kind, before you can achieve "I Love You" stage. The relationship require 100% trust, honesty and communication. Without it, fear(insecurity) will make hard to commit. That goes for both- man and woman.
If you never loved anyone before, then once your at a reasonably safe comfort zone and just thinking about your partner, twists you in knots(good way) and your partner feels the same- there is connection which will feel natural. Then you'll say it.
Either way, sooner or later, you will say it to someone. Love is for everyone - it's not exclusive to any one individual. Just the feelings they experience are exclusive to them.
Some of us have been hurt by those words. We give our love so freely to the people we care about, then have it thrown back in our face. A wall will be built around our heart and no one can get through it until the right person comes along, believe me they will come along and you will know it. Then those three little words won't be that hard to say.
For you who have a hard time saying "I Love You" when you have the true feelings for someone, start small, tell your puppy, tell yourself in the mirror every time you do something well. Then write it in a card to someone, ..not "Luv Ya!" but "the reason I Love you is..." Then maybe say it during a phone call...by the time you see your love again, look into their smiling eyes...it will probably bubble out easy as ice cream!
I Love You!
its not hard to say at all if you really, truely , mean it..but never say it unless you man it ..then your lookin for trouble...
advice from someoe who knows, I wont go into it, but just trust me on this one dear
Saying I love you can be hard if when you say the words you actually mean them-I say this because, if you mean them and say them, you open yourself up to another persons ridicule and judgments. If you love the wrong person-those three words give them an in to tear you down from the inside out. The people that we love have the ability to hurt us the worst-Perhaps you are afraid of the idea of giving someone this power by saying I love you?
Love is about letting go. And in order to truly love someone, one must be willing to open themselves up to hurt.
when you find someone you truly love and connect with, its the most natural thing in the world to say 'I love you' to them....in fact, the harder part is that even those three words fall short!!
(...if anything, u seek more words and ways to express your love...just wait till it happens!)
I qoute you on this, maybe if both is willing to say this more often hey it wouldn't be so hard lets heat it up and say do or die. Its either love are its nothing lets face it this is reality love can be sweet or sour the one who love the most sometimes win at the end.Some of us use love as a maricle cure believe in it because its not here on its own................the Blue Sun..............THANK YOU FOR READING................
It's never hard for me to say. There are lots of people I love, so I say it all the time!
it was something that was never said to me as a child, so i could not say it, still find it hard actually, it's almost like giving a little of yourself away...... it makes me feel vunrable, if anyone says it to me, it warms my heart
Because you want to be certain that you mean it.
You don't want to get caught up in loving someone that means nothing to you.
and often people want the other to say it first so when they say it and open up they don't get crushed.
It's hard for me to say it. I suspect it's the case with anyone who grew up in a family where it wasn't voiced over and over again. During marriage, it seemed strange to me, but I learned to say it to my husband.
But just because I came from a family like that, doesn't mean I didn't get plenty of physical affection. My parents were lavish with that.
Frankly, the physical touch means more, so much more, than just the words "I love you." If it makes sense at all, I am also an introvert, and introverts do not like redundancies and stating the obvious too much. Actions speak far louder than words, as far as I am concerned.
because it is hard to really live up to the essence of a true love
i think the first comment describes it the best..........saying I love you means letting all your defenses and guards down in front of a person whom you yourself has given the complete authority of breaking your heart with just one word" no".
hey who wants that!!!
its simple if it comes from the mind.but today all will have are lips love hence it is hard to say
It's hard to say sometimes if you think you won't get it back,,,or if you are w/ someone who doesn't say it much....then it kinda takes guts
Some people find it easy to say those 3 words..but some cant say them for various reasons..maybe they havnt had a loving upbringing or just dont wear their heart on their sleeve,but if someone loves you then the words are not important,a look ,a kiss , a tender touch a surprise gift , would tell you what you want to know without a word being spoken .
It's just the way we brought up in the family. If "I love you" is frequently said in your home then chances are you have no problem telling that to your love one.
Precisley...I grew up with those words all the time..my dad never left the house without saying them to my mum.
Its hard because we expect the same thing back. It is human nature to have that mutual feeling, when you love someone you're afraid to tell them, because we fear rejection and we feel like we just put ourselves out there. It is very challenging to control your thoughts and feelings. In my opinion to give love and not to expect anything back is great and such a wonderful feeling. Don't be afraid to let someone that you love them, or care about them! Only the foolish will laugh or look down on you!
by Lightning Farron 3 years ago
What does it mean when a guy is scared of saying "I love you"?My bf and I have been dating for almost a month, it's a short time but we've known each other for over a year and have liked each other for that amount of time, we finally started to date and recently he tells me "I'm just...
by Abimbola Akinbuwa-Onwueme 8 months ago
What does "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" mean?
by purpleangel47 8 years ago
I'm part of a family full of people who don't say I'm sorry. I had to actually learn how to say those words. My mother never said I'm sorry to me for some of the hurtful things she said and did.Have you ever had moments with family or friends where you couldn't utter those two words? Why?
by Kim Kennedy 5 years ago
Can you say, " I love you " too much?
by Soul Man Boogie 5 years ago
These words were uttered by Jesus on the cross. Through the centuries, scholars have attempted to explore and explain the phenomena of his anguished cry and emotional separation from God.There is much more to the story. Jesus was focusing attention on something written many years before. Psalms...
by A.E. Williams 5 years ago
Why is it so easy to say "I Love You" to friends, but harder to family and your significant other?It's funny, but I can say "I Love You" so easily to friends, but when it comes to family and the person I'm seeing. I can't seem to open my mouth and say it. Anyone have an idea of...
|HubPages Device ID|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Google Analytics|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel|
|Google Hosted Libraries|
|Google AdSense Host API|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels|
|Author Google Analytics|
|Amazon Tracking Pixel|