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Why is saying "I love you so hard?"

  1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
    Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

    I always wondered why those little words effected people so much, so i ask my fellow hubbers out there to tell me and try to answer the question, "why is saying i love you so hard?"

    1. profile image0
      Scott.Lifeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Because once you say it you can't take it back and you just opened yourself up wide for good or bad.

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
        Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        good point.  i agree with that.

        1. Lyricsnlines profile image61
          Lyricsnlinesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Most of the time it's hard because it isn't love anyway it's lust.  We must understand that LOVE is an action word and NOT a feeling. When we are honest with ourselves we know that we don't love the person, we might be fond of them, care about them, but not love them in the romantic sense of the word.

      2. profile image0
        Madame Xposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Bingo smile

      3. Stimp profile image75
        Stimpposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        This depends on who you are saying it to.  If a boyfriend/girlfriend for whom you are unsure of your feelings....yes, think 'er through.  Kids, family, especially need to hear that.  I grew up not hearing those words and it was very difficult for me to say that UNTIL I married a man who said it consistently to his children...for good or bad.  I can NOW say those words to my parents and accept those words back without wanting to crawl out of my skin.  It is what it is...

    2. Pearldiver profile image88
      Pearldiverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks but No thanks! Not into beard rash mate! smile
      Hope you don't mind the comments?  They're coming from people who DON'T Have a Problem Expressing themselves!

      1. rebekahELLE profile image87
        rebekahELLEposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I thought I was going to bed...

        PD brings up a very good point. some people express themselves much easier than others. some may value saying that much more than others who take it more lightly.

        now I'm going to bed.

    3. profile image0
      pauls_boatposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      becouse to tell some one you love them you have to understand them first also to love some one you have to love all of them not just the good parts and love is for life.

      before i tell anyone i love them i have to get to know them fully and then it takes me a long time to accept that i love them with all there faults i loved my wife and even though she left me for some one else and are divorced for 8 years i still love her and want her to be happy.

      to many people say i love you when they dont mean it they just think they like some on at the time.

      many people say it was love at first site when they mean it was lust at first site and love came later when they got to know and understand each other.

    4. profile image0
      Poppa Bluesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Oh it's not hard to say that at all! It's much, much harder to mean it and to know what it means!

    5. Himitsu Shugisha profile image77
      Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      There have been some really good points written, but in my opinion, love is easy to say if it's true in your heart.

    6. the Blue sun profile image60
      the Blue sunposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                                                         Well I say saying an doing is one thing. But it is hard for anyone to say those affectionate words, Why its so hard? Maybe your not saying it enough try saying it more often, if you don't you just might get face mask. Be ready to get penalize it happens to the best of us.Don't just take my advice believe,  that you can say it take a deep breath especialy if its your wife. So take that under heavy consideration they say practice makes perfected........ the Blue Sun..................

    7. sudeep13582 profile image50
      sudeep13582posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I think most of the people who wanna say this, dont actually love from heart.. smile
      so they cant get that confidence

    8. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Saying "I love you" is hard sometimes because people often think that because I love them I also love everything they do unconditionally, or that I MUST love everything about them in order to love them.


      Err...Stevennix, saying "I love you so hard" is.......umm.....a different story.  Your mis-placement of the quotation marks is distracting.  LOL

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
        Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Oh sorry.  I guess I probably should've edited the titled before submitting it.  sorry brenda.  lol.  thanks for answering anyways. tongue

  2. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    I think Scott said it best smile
    You are nervous and scared...you do the what if game a lot to yourself before you actually say it. what if I say this will he/she say it back? will they be scared of me, hate me? etc etc...takes a lot of courage to say those words to someone you truly care about.

    Except for saying it to your family smile

  3. profile image0
    A Texanposted 7 years ago

    Why is saying "I love you so hard?"

    Because I don't love you!

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol  thanks.  i don't love you either, so we're even.  lol

  4. tony0724 profile image60
    tony0724posted 7 years ago

    And also once you declare your love for someone , whether you like it or not there is gonna be some responsibility involved and complete commitment .That Is a tall order !

  5. Dale Mazurek profile image59
    Dale Mazurekposted 7 years ago

    22 years ago I told a great girl that I love her.  22 years later she is my wife and I have told her the same words over and over on a daily basis.

    For me saying I love you to my beautiful wife is the easiest thing because she makes it so easy for me.

    1. profile image0
      Madame Xposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      It's always easy when the love of your life loves you back smile

    2. mega1 profile image79
      mega1posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      It took her 22 years to decide to marry you?

      1. sudeep13582 profile image50
        sudeep13582posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        lolz

  6. wyanjen profile image87
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    I don't plan on saying those words again ever. Ever.
    I won't let myself be that vulnerable.

    1. tony0724 profile image60
      tony0724posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      To quote a friend of mine : If you do not take a chance , you don,t have one !

      1. profile image0
        Madame Xposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        smile

        Not always easy but definitely worth it when you finally meet the right person

      2. wyanjen profile image87
        wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        That is a nice thought smile
        But I'm finished up. Been demolished lol

        1. Black Lilly profile image60
          Black Lillyposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          1. Never say never wink
          2. It's very good you do not PLAN to say those words again. That might only mean that you WILL say them big_smile
          3. Time heals all wounds, however deep.

        2. Cagsil profile image60
          Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          No! No! No!

          Love is never to be given up.

          Those who do give up on love, don't stand a chance against life's cruelness. That connection is a must, if you want experience life to the fullest and honestly say to yourself that you've always given 100% of yourself to search for love.

          In the end, you'll find it and probably in the most of unlikely place or time. But, you will find it.

          Don't shut people out, because once you do, it's hard to let even friends or family get close, and that's never good.

    2. Stimp profile image75
      Stimpposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Obviously you can't spew the "I love you" to everyone you meet.  And, regardless of whether one says I love you or not, the vulnerability will always be there in other areas.  I have found that when I REALLY love someone....it's an urge to say it rather than a requirement.  I tell my friends that I love them all the time, no I'm not gay and even if I were....I want them to know that my life would not be the same without them.  And, lets face it when they walk out the door I may never see them again.  I had two near death experiences last year.  Thankfully, I'm here to tell the story.  When they read the story, they cry because they realize how close they came to losing someone they care about.  Just a thought.  I wish you well

    3. profile image0
      Ghost32posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Wyanjen, you're clearly a much quicker student than I am.  Although it took me until my 7th wife (Pam) to hit the Marital Jackpot, I've not found those words hard to say for quite a long time.

      But 'twas not always the case.  I well recall getting "burned" a number of times in my dating years (16-21) and refusing to allow myself to "feel" for the girl who eventually became my (first) wife of some 8 years.  Every time we got together in the early goings, I'd "gauge" how far she seemed to fallen for me...and then allow myself to fall "just not quite that far".  I do believe it was quite a long time before I could say those words to her.

  7. Rochelle Frank profile image88
    Rochelle Frankposted 7 years ago

    It's not that hard, if it's true.

  8. Stevennix2001 profile image84
    Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

    yeah, me neither.  it seems like every girl i ever say those words too never returns them back or there's some circumstances that prevents us from being together.  thats why i say i think love is about trial and error.  you have to go through a lot of heartache before you meet the person you belong with.

    1. Stimp profile image75
      Stimpposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I've learned in emotional matters not to take stuff personally.  If they are incapable of parroting it back....that's not YOUR problem, it's theirs.  People say and do what they need to in order to "self preserve" and usually that has nothing to do with anyone around them.  I hope that makes sense.  Hang in and peace out!!

  9. Pearldiver profile image88
    Pearldiverposted 7 years ago

    Goodnight rebakahELLE. Thanks smile

    @ Stevennix.... This is a Very Strange Question to Ask; Coming from a guy All Lined Up and Ready to Gallop! lol

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      umm...im not sure if i understand what you mean though buddy.  what are you trying to say?

      1. Pearldiver profile image88
        Pearldiverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Have a look at your avatar from our side lol
        You look like you're ready for a commited getaway! hmm

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          yeah, your right, i really do need to change that stupid thing sometime.

  10. prettydarkhorse profile image62
    prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago

    if i say that word, I will be totally committed and I will give my all, it is just hard to say when you dont feel it! I said it before once and it hurts like "hell" as they say. I will say that again for the last chance if ever and I hope it will be forever!

    1. Pearldiver profile image88
      Pearldiverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Just Pwetend PDH lol

      1. prettydarkhorse profile image62
        prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        LOL< cant pretend though!

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          lol.  i could make a clever joke about that, but i don't want to offend anyone here.  lol

        2. Pearldiver profile image88
          Pearldiverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Yep.. Close your Eyes.... It's Daniel-Day-Louis yikes

          1. prettydarkhorse profile image62
            prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            ok, LOL< you are really making me laugh...

            1. prettydarkhorse profile image62
              prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              maybe he wouldnt smell like an englishman, I will know the smell of HIM! in my dreams

              1. Pearldiver profile image88
                Pearldiverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                REALLY??? yikes  Sooooooooo... you can pwetend lol

                1. prettydarkhorse profile image62
                  prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                  but D Day Lewis is already married cant still pretend

                  1. Pearldiver profile image88
                    Pearldiverposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                    Phoooooey!!! A Minor Inconvenience!! Don't let that get in the way of a raunchy dream lol

  11. earnestshub profile image88
    earnestshubposted 7 years ago

    It's not hard, it is hard to be sure you are correct in doing so though! smile

  12. prettydarkhorse profile image62
    prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago

    g'nite everyone and I hope everyone can say those words, everybody deserves somebody to love and somebody who will love them!

  13. floating mind profile image80
    floating mindposted 7 years ago

    Just know yourself.  Trust your heart, and trust your mind.  You'll know when the time is right.  If you have mixed emotions saying “I Love You” to someone, then maybe it's not the right time or person to say it to!

  14. carolina muscle profile image74
    carolina muscleposted 7 years ago

    I think this may be because we're not sure exactly what love is... and most of us don't want to say something like that lightly.

  15. Cagsil profile image60
    Cagsilposted 7 years ago

    You can take my advice how ever you like. I realize we've recently had words, but regardless, I'd like to help.

    Why is saying "I Love You" so hard?

    I've truly loved 3 women in my life(I'm 41) and I can honestly say - to be able to love another person, you must love yourself, in all aspects.

    There can be a multiple of reasons, for why you have trouble saying it.

    Is it fear of commitment?

    Or never loved anyone before?

    Those are the only two based causes for a person to have a problem with saying "I Love You".

    If you have any fear(insecurity) with regards to the relationship, then it plays a factor. A relationship cannot have doubts of any kind, before you can achieve "I Love You" stage. The relationship require 100% trust, honesty and communication. Without it, fear(insecurity) will make hard to commit. That goes for both- man and woman.

    If you never loved anyone before, then once your at a reasonably safe comfort zone and just thinking about your partner, twists you in knots(good way) and your partner feels the same- there is connection which will feel natural. Then you'll say it.

    Either way, sooner or later, you will say it to someone. Love is for everyone - it's not exclusive to any one individual. Just the feelings they experience are exclusive to them.

  16. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 7 years ago

    I LOVE YOU! not so hard smile

  17. Stevennix2001 profile image84
    Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

    lol  i guess saying it is easier for some people then.  lol

    1. Cagsil profile image60
      Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol

  18. Naomi R. Cox profile image61
    Naomi R. Coxposted 7 years ago

    Some of us have been hurt by those words. We give our love so freely to the people we care about, then have it thrown back in our face. A wall will be built around our heart and no one can get through it until the right person comes along, believe me they will come along and you will know it. Then those three little words won't be that hard to say.

  19. Dee Dee MonSherie profile image57
    Dee Dee MonSherieposted 7 years ago

    For you who have a hard time saying "I Love You" when you have the true feelings for someone, start small, tell your puppy, tell yourself in the mirror every time you do something well. Then write it in a card to someone,  ..not "Luv Ya!"  but "the reason I Love you is..."  Then maybe say it during a phone call...by the time you see your love again, look into their smiling eyes...it will probably bubble out easy as ice cream!

    I Love You!

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      wow, that is really good advice.

      1. Dee Dee MonSherie profile image57
        Dee Dee MonSherieposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks, Steven...got to go now, read acouple hubs then to sleep, have a great night all!:0

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          you too.  feel free to drop by anytime.

  20. Dame Scribe profile image60
    Dame Scribeposted 7 years ago

    Practice makes perfect wink

  21. profile image0
    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 7 years ago

    its not hard to say at all if you really, truely , mean it..but never say it unless you man it ..then your lookin for trouble...


    advice from someoe who knows, I wont go into it, but just trust me on this one dear

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image84
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      oh okay.  thanks for the tip bc

  22. profile image0
    lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

    If it's hard then you don't need to say I love you lol

    1. bukan profile image59
      bukanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Right!! smile

  23. H.C Porter profile image78
    H.C Porterposted 7 years ago

    Saying I love you can be hard if when you say the words you actually mean them-I say this because, if you mean them and say them, you open yourself up to another persons ridicule and judgments. If you love the wrong person-those three words give them an in to tear you down from the inside out. The people that we love have the ability to hurt us the worst-Perhaps you are afraid of the idea of giving someone this power by saying I love you?

  24. Himitsu Shugisha profile image77
    Himitsu Shugishaposted 7 years ago

    Love is about letting go. And in order to truly love someone, one must be willing to open themselves up to hurt.

    1. tantrum profile image59
      tantrumposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      You're an extremist !

      1. prettydarkhorse profile image62
        prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        what masochist?

        1. Anath profile image72
          Anathposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          send it to me ;-)

  25. myownworld profile image81
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    when you find someone you truly love and connect with, its the most natural thing in the world to say 'I love you' to them....in fact, the harder part is that even those three words fall short!! smile

    (...if anything, u seek more words and ways to express your love...just wait till it happens!)

    1. the Blue sun profile image60
      the Blue sunposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I qoute you on this, maybe if both is willing to say this more often hey it wouldn't be so hard lets heat it up and say do or die. Its either love are its nothing lets face it this is reality love can be sweet or sour the one who love the most sometimes win at the end.Some of us use love as a maricle cure believe in it because its not here on its own................the Blue Sun..............THANK YOU FOR READING................

  26. habee profile image90
    habeeposted 7 years ago

    It's never hard for me to say. There are lots of people I love, so I say it all the time!

  27. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    it was something that was never said to me as a child, so i could not say it, still find it hard actually, it's almost like giving a little of yourself away...... it makes me feel vunrable, if anyone says it to me, it warms my heart

  28. Kristie91 profile image58
    Kristie91posted 7 years ago

    Because you want to be certain that you mean it.
    You don't want to get caught up in loving someone that means nothing to you.
    and often people want the other to say it first so when they say it and open up they don't get crushed.

  29. gracenotes profile image93
    gracenotesposted 7 years ago

    It's hard for me to say it.  I suspect it's the case with anyone who grew up in a family where it wasn't voiced over and over again.  During marriage, it seemed strange to me, but I learned to say it to my husband.

    But just because I came from a family like that, doesn't mean I didn't get plenty of physical affection.  My parents were lavish with that.

    Frankly, the physical touch means more, so much more, than just the words "I love you."  If it makes sense at all, I am also an introvert, and introverts do not like redundancies and stating the obvious too much.  Actions speak far louder than words, as far as I am concerned.

  30. alexandriaruthk profile image51
    alexandriaruthkposted 7 years ago

    because it is hard to really live up to the essence of a true love

  31. profile image60
    Arisha Jonesposted 7 years ago

    i think the first comment describes it the best..........saying I love you means letting all your defenses and guards down in front of a person whom you yourself has given the complete authority of breaking your heart with just one word" no".
    hey who wants that!!!

  32. efeguy profile image58
    efeguyposted 7 years ago

    its simple if it comes from the mind.but today all will have are lips love hence it is hard to say

  33. tritrain profile image74
    tritrainposted 6 years ago

    How do you respond?

    I love you harder?

  34. damian0000 profile image69
    damian0000posted 6 years ago

    Cos men are afraid of the terrible "c" word....

  35. schoolgirlforreal profile image73
    schoolgirlforrealposted 6 years ago

    It's hard to say sometimes if you think you won't get it back,,,or if you are w/ someone who doesn't say it much....then it kinda takes guts

  36. Loveslove profile image52
    Lovesloveposted 6 years ago

    Some people find it easy to say those 3 words..but some cant say them for various reasons..maybe they havnt had a loving upbringing or just dont wear their heart on their sleeve,but if someone loves you then the words are not important,a look ,a kiss , a tender touch a surprise gift , would tell you what you want to know without a word being spoken .

  37. smelloftruth profile image61
    smelloftruthposted 6 years ago

    It's just the way we brought up in the family. If "I love you" is frequently said in your home then chances are you have no problem telling that to your love one.

  38. Loveslove profile image52
    Lovesloveposted 6 years ago

    Precisley...I grew up with those words all the time..my dad never left the house without saying them to my mum.

  39. evashkurti profile image54
    evashkurtiposted 6 years ago

    Its hard because we expect the same thing back. It is human nature to have that mutual feeling, when you love someone you're afraid to tell them, because we fear rejection and we feel like we just put ourselves out there. It is very challenging to control your thoughts and feelings. In my opinion to give love and not to expect anything back is great and such a wonderful feeling. Don't be afraid to let someone that you love them, or care about them! Only the foolish will laugh or look down on you!

  40. R3dcougar profile image60
    R3dcougarposted 6 years ago

    Why would you want to say "I LOVE YOU SO HARD" to someone??

 
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