Why is saying "I love you so hard?"

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   Stevennix2001posted 15 years ago

   I always wondered why those little words effected people so much, so i ask my fellow hubbers out there to tell me and try to answer the question, "why is saying i love you so hard?"

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      Scott.Lifeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Because once you say it you can't take it back and you just opened yourself up wide for good or bad.

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         Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         good point.  i agree with that.

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            Lyricsnlinesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Most of the time it's hard because it isn't love anyway it's lust.  We must understand that LOVE is an action word and NOT a feeling. When we are honest with ourselves we know that we don't love the person, we might be fond of them, care about them, but not love them in the romantic sense of the word.

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         Madame Xposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Bingo

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         Stimpposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         This depends on who you are saying it to.  If a boyfriend/girlfriend for whom you are unsure of your feelings....yes, think 'er through.  Kids, family, especially need to hear that.  I grew up not hearing those words and it was very difficult for me to say that UNTIL I married a man who said it consistently to his children...for good or bad.  I can NOW say those words to my parents and accept those words back without wanting to crawl out of my skin.  It is what it is...

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      Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks but No thanks! Not into beard rash mate!
      Hope you don't mind the comments?  They're coming from people who DON'T Have a Problem Expressing themselves!

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         rebekahELLEposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I thought I was going to bed...
         
         PD brings up a very good point. some people express themselves much easier than others. some may value saying that much more than others who take it more lightly.
         
         now I'm going to bed.

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      pauls_boatposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      becouse to tell some one you love them you have to understand them first also to love some one you have to love all of them not just the good parts and love is for life.
      
      before i tell anyone i love them i have to get to know them fully and then it takes me a long time to accept that i love them with all there faults i loved my wife and even though she left me for some one else and are divorced for 8 years i still love her and want her to be happy.
      
      to many people say i love you when they dont mean it they just think they like some on at the time.
      
      many people say it was love at first site when they mean it was lust at first site and love came later when they got to know and understand each other.

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      Poppa Bluesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Oh it's not hard to say that at all! It's much, much harder to mean it and to know what it means!

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      Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      There have been some really good points written, but in my opinion, love is easy to say if it's true in your heart.

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      the Blue sunposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                                         Well I say saying an doing is one thing. But it is hard for anyone to say those affectionate words, Why its so hard? Maybe your not saying it enough try saying it more often, if you don't you just might get face mask. Be ready to get penalize it happens to the best of us.Don't just take my advice believe,  that you can say it take a deep breath especialy if its your wife. So take that under heavy consideration they say practice makes perfected........ the Blue Sun..................

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      sudeep13582posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think most of the people who wanna say this, dont actually love from heart..
      so they cant get that confidence

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      Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Saying "I love you" is hard sometimes because people often think that because I love them I also love everything they do unconditionally, or that I MUST love everything about them in order to love them.
      
      
      Err...Stevennix, saying "I love you so hard" is.......umm.....a different story.  Your mis-placement of the quotation marks is distracting.  LOL

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         Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Oh sorry.  I guess I probably should've edited the titled before submitting it.  sorry brenda.  lol.  thanks for answering anyways.

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   Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

   I think Scott said it best
   You are nervous and scared...you do the what if game a lot to yourself before you actually say it. what if I say this will he/she say it back? will they be scared of me, hate me? etc etc...takes a lot of courage to say those words to someone you truly care about.
   
   Except for saying it to your family

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   A Texanposted 15 years ago

   Why is saying "I love you so hard?"
   
   Because I don't love you!

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      Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        thanks.  i don't love you either, so we're even. 

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   tony0724posted 15 years ago

   And also once you declare your love for someone , whether you like it or not there is gonna be some responsibility involved and complete commitment .That Is a tall order !

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   Dale Mazurekposted 15 years ago

   22 years ago I told a great girl that I love her.  22 years later she is my wife and I have told her the same words over and over on a daily basis.
   
   For me saying I love you to my beautiful wife is the easiest thing because she makes it so easy for me.

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      Madame Xposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      It's always easy when the love of your life loves you back

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      mega1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      It took her 22 years to decide to marry you?

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         sudeep13582posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         lolz

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   wyanjenposted 15 years ago

   I don't plan on saying those words again ever. Ever.
   I won't let myself be that vulnerable.

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      tony0724posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      To quote a friend of mine : If you do not take a chance , you don,t have one !

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         Madame Xposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         Not always easy but definitely worth it when you finally meet the right person

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         wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         That is a nice thought
         But I'm finished up. Been demolished

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            Black Lillyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            1. Never say never
            2. It's very good you do not PLAN to say those words again. That might only mean that you WILL say them
            3. Time heals all wounds, however deep.

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            Cagsilposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            No! No! No!
            
            Love is never to be given up.
            
            Those who do give up on love, don't stand a chance against life's cruelness. That connection is a must, if you want experience life to the fullest and honestly say to yourself that you've always given 100% of yourself to search for love.
            
            In the end, you'll find it and probably in the most of unlikely place or time. But, you will find it.
            
            Don't shut people out, because once you do, it's hard to let even friends or family get close, and that's never good.

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      Stimpposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Obviously you can't spew the "I love you" to everyone you meet.  And, regardless of whether one says I love you or not, the vulnerability will always be there in other areas.  I have found that when I REALLY love someone....it's an urge to say it rather than a requirement.  I tell my friends that I love them all the time, no I'm not gay and even if I were....I want them to know that my life would not be the same without them.  And, lets face it when they walk out the door I may never see them again.  I had two near death experiences last year.  Thankfully, I'm here to tell the story.  When they read the story, they cry because they realize how close they came to losing someone they care about.  Just a thought.  I wish you well

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      Ghost32posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Wyanjen, you're clearly a much quicker student than I am.  Although it took me until my 7th wife (Pam) to hit the Marital Jackpot, I've not found those words hard to say for quite a long time.
      
      But 'twas not always the case.  I well recall getting "burned" a number of times in my dating years (16-21) and refusing to allow myself to "feel" for the girl who eventually became my (first) wife of some 8 years.  Every time we got together in the early goings, I'd "gauge" how far she seemed to fallen for me...and then allow myself to fall "just not quite that far".  I do believe it was quite a long time before I could say those words to her.

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   Rochelle Frankposted 15 years ago

   It's not that hard, if it's true.

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   Stevennix2001posted 15 years ago

   yeah, me neither.  it seems like every girl i ever say those words too never returns them back or there's some circumstances that prevents us from being together.  thats why i say i think love is about trial and error.  you have to go through a lot of heartache before you meet the person you belong with.

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      Stimpposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I've learned in emotional matters not to take stuff personally.  If they are incapable of parroting it back....that's not YOUR problem, it's theirs.  People say and do what they need to in order to "self preserve" and usually that has nothing to do with anyone around them.  I hope that makes sense.  Hang in and peace out!!

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   Pearldiverposted 15 years ago

   Goodnight rebakahELLE. Thanks
   
   @ Stevennix.... This is a Very Strange Question to Ask; Coming from a guy All Lined Up and Ready to Gallop!

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      Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      umm...im not sure if i understand what you mean though buddy.  what are you trying to say?

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         Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Have a look at your avatar from our side
         You look like you're ready for a commited getaway!

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            Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

            yeah, your right, i really do need to change that stupid thing sometime.

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    prettydarkhorseposted 15 years ago

    if i say that word, I will be totally committed and I will give my all, it is just hard to say when you dont feel it! I said it before once and it hurts like "hell" as they say. I will say that again for the last chance if ever and I hope it will be forever!

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       Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Just Pwetend PDH

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          prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          LOL< cant pretend though!

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             Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             lol.  i could make a clever joke about that, but i don't want to offend anyone here. 

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             Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Yep.. Close your Eyes.... It's Daniel-Day-Louis

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                prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                ok, LOL< you are really making me laugh...

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                   prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                   maybe he wouldnt smell like an englishman, I will know the smell of HIM! in my dreams

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                      Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                      REALLY???   Sooooooooo... you can pwetend

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                         prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                         but D Day Lewis is already married cant still pretend

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                            Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                            Phoooooey!!! A Minor Inconvenience!! Don't let that get in the way of a raunchy dream

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                               prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                               ok I will try then...

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                                  Pearldiverposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                  That was Easy...   Follow your heart PDH.

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                                     prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                                     thank you. yes if somebody comes along then yes, I will say it if I can feel it, just been hurt many times, but it is ok...

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    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    It's not hard, it is hard to be sure you are correct in doing so though!

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    prettydarkhorseposted 15 years ago

    g'nite everyone and I hope everyone can say those words, everybody deserves somebody to love and somebody who will love them!

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    floating mindposted 15 years ago

    Just know yourself.  Trust your heart, and trust your mind.  You'll know when the time is right.  If you have mixed emotions saying “I Love You” to someone, then maybe it's not the right time or person to say it to!

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    carolina muscleposted 15 years ago

    I think this may be because we're not sure exactly what love is... and most of us don't want to say something like that lightly.

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    Cagsilposted 15 years ago

    You can take my advice how ever you like. I realize we've recently had words, but regardless, I'd like to help.
    
    Why is saying "I Love You" so hard?
    
    I've truly loved 3 women in my life(I'm 41) and I can honestly say - to be able to love another person, you must love yourself, in all aspects.
    
    There can be a multiple of reasons, for why you have trouble saying it.
    
    Is it fear of commitment?
    
    Or never loved anyone before?
    
    Those are the only two based causes for a person to have a problem with saying "I Love You".
    
    If you have any fear(insecurity) with regards to the relationship, then it plays a factor. A relationship cannot have doubts of any kind, before you can achieve "I Love You" stage. The relationship require 100% trust, honesty and communication. Without it, fear(insecurity) will make hard to commit. That goes for both- man and woman.
    
    If you never loved anyone before, then once your at a reasonably safe comfort zone and just thinking about your partner, twists you in knots(good way) and your partner feels the same- there is connection which will feel natural. Then you'll say it.
    
    Either way, sooner or later, you will say it to someone. Love is for everyone - it's not exclusive to any one individual. Just the feelings they experience are exclusive to them.

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    Crazdwriterposted 15 years ago

    I LOVE YOU! not so hard

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    Stevennix2001posted 15 years ago

      i guess saying it is easier for some people then. 

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       Cagsilposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

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    Naomi R. Coxposted 15 years ago

    Some of us have been hurt by those words. We give our love so freely to the people we care about, then have it thrown back in our face. A wall will be built around our heart and no one can get through it until the right person comes along, believe me they will come along and you will know it. Then those three little words won't be that hard to say.

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    Dee Dee MonSherieposted 15 years ago

    For you who have a hard time saying "I Love You" when you have the true feelings for someone, start small, tell your puppy, tell yourself in the mirror every time you do something well. Then write it in a card to someone,  ..not "Luv Ya!"  but "the reason I Love you is..."  Then maybe say it during a phone call...by the time you see your love again, look into their smiling eyes...it will probably bubble out easy as ice cream!
    
    I Love You!

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       Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       wow, that is really good advice.

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          Dee Dee MonSherieposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks, Steven...got to go now, read acouple hubs then to sleep, have a great night all!:0

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             Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

             you too.  feel free to drop by anytime.

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    Dame Scribeposted 15 years ago

    Practice makes perfect

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 15 years ago

    its not hard to say at all if you really, truely , mean it..but never say it unless you man it ..then your lookin for trouble...
    
    
    advice from someoe who knows, I wont go into it, but just trust me on this one dear

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       Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       oh okay.  thanks for the tip bc

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    lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

    If it's hard then you don't need to say I love you

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       bukanposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Right!!

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    H.C Porterposted 15 years ago

    Saying I love you can be hard if when you say the words you actually mean them-I say this because, if you mean them and say them, you open yourself up to another persons ridicule and judgments. If you love the wrong person-those three words give them an in to tear you down from the inside out. The people that we love have the ability to hurt us the worst-Perhaps you are afraid of the idea of giving someone this power by saying I love you?

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    Himitsu Shugishaposted 15 years ago

    Love is about letting go. And in order to truly love someone, one must be willing to open themselves up to hurt.

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       tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You're an extremist !

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          prettydarkhorseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          what masochist?

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             Anathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             send it to me ;-)

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    myownworldposted 15 years ago

    when you find someone you truly love and connect with, its the most natural thing in the world to say 'I love you' to them....in fact, the harder part is that even those three words fall short!!
    
    (...if anything, u seek more words and ways to express your love...just wait till it happens!)

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       the Blue sunposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I qoute you on this, maybe if both is willing to say this more often hey it wouldn't be so hard lets heat it up and say do or die. Its either love are its nothing lets face it this is reality love can be sweet or sour the one who love the most sometimes win at the end.Some of us use love as a maricle cure believe in it because its not here on its own................the Blue Sun..............THANK YOU FOR READING................

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    habeeposted 15 years ago

    It's never hard for me to say. There are lots of people I love, so I say it all the time!

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    poetlorraineposted 15 years ago

    it was something that was never said to me as a child, so i could not say it, still find it hard actually, it's almost like giving a little of yourself away...... it makes me feel vunrable, if anyone says it to me, it warms my heart

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    Kristie91posted 15 years ago

    Because you want to be certain that you mean it.
    You don't want to get caught up in loving someone that means nothing to you.
    and often people want the other to say it first so when they say it and open up they don't get crushed.

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    gracenotesposted 15 years ago

    It's hard for me to say it.  I suspect it's the case with anyone who grew up in a family where it wasn't voiced over and over again.  During marriage, it seemed strange to me, but I learned to say it to my husband.
    
    But just because I came from a family like that, doesn't mean I didn't get plenty of physical affection.  My parents were lavish with that.
    
    Frankly, the physical touch means more, so much more, than just the words "I love you."  If it makes sense at all, I am also an introvert, and introverts do not like redundancies and stating the obvious too much.  Actions speak far louder than words, as far as I am concerned.

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    alexandriaruthkposted 15 years ago

    because it is hard to really live up to the essence of a true love

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    Arisha Jonesposted 15 years ago

    i think the first comment describes it the best..........saying I love you means letting all your defenses and guards down in front of a person whom you yourself has given the complete authority of breaking your heart with just one word" no".
    hey who wants that!!!

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    efeguyposted 15 years ago

    its simple if it comes from the mind.but today all will have are lips love hence it is hard to say

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    tritrainposted 14 years ago

    How do you respond?
    
    I love you harder?

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    damian0000posted 14 years ago

    Cos men are afraid of the terrible "c" word....

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    schoolgirlforrealposted 14 years ago

    It's hard to say sometimes if you think you won't get it back,,,or if you are w/ someone who doesn't say it much....then it kinda takes guts

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    Lovesloveposted 14 years ago

    Some people find it easy to say those 3 words..but some cant say them for various reasons..maybe they havnt had a loving upbringing or just dont wear their heart on their sleeve,but if someone loves you then the words are not important,a look ,a kiss , a tender touch a surprise gift , would tell you what you want to know without a word being spoken .

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    smelloftruthposted 14 years ago

    It's just the way we brought up in the family. If "I love you" is frequently said in your home then chances are you have no problem telling that to your love one.

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    Lovesloveposted 14 years ago

    Precisley...I grew up with those words all the time..my dad never left the house without saying them to my mum.

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    evashkurtiposted 14 years ago

    Its hard because we expect the same thing back. It is human nature to have that mutual feeling, when you love someone you're afraid to tell them, because we fear rejection and we feel like we just put ourselves out there. It is very challenging to control your thoughts and feelings. In my opinion to give love and not to expect anything back is great and such a wonderful feeling. Don't be afraid to let someone that you love them, or care about them! Only the foolish will laugh or look down on you!

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    R3dcougarposted 14 years ago

    Why would you want to say "I LOVE YOU SO HARD" to someone??

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