What does being single mean to you?

1. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   What does being single mean to you?
   
   Traditionally being single defined one's (marital) status. Anyone who is not married is legally considered (single) or available to get married. However most of us now place (dating couples) on the same pedestal as married couples. Therefore today we say single means you are not (seriously) dating anyone. Others take it a step further to mean they aren't dating period! They're living like nuns or monks. Do you define single as being alone? or Does it just mean someone is not married?
   
   

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   saskamposted 11 years ago

   Being alone and for me being alone means freedom.

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   1. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, A lot of people see being single as being (free) and having no need to make "compromises" while others see it as being (lonely). Our happiness is tied to (our perception) of our circumstances. Thanks for your answer!

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   moneyfairyposted 11 years ago

   Being single and alone means lovely joyfilled freedom not attached to anything or anyone, blissful peace. No one to say "What's for dinner?"  or can you wash this or do this or that for me? No nagging, just doing whatever I want whenever I want with no judgement. It's a wonderful state of being.

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   1. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That is a very positive and upbeat way to look at it. Would you also consider someone to be single who went out on dates or had sex now and then without being in a "relationship"? or Is single in your opinion (always) a state of being alone?

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   2. 60

      moneyfairyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Single means being alone. If you are with others in any way shape or form then you aren't alone right? Therefore not single.

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   3. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Surly you don’t mean going out on (one) date constitutes being a couple. If over the course of a year someone went out on 6 dates with six different people wouldn't you consider them to be single?  One night stands? Wouldn't they be still (single)?

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      moneyfairyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      No I don't think you are a couple if you go on one date??
      I just said my definition of being single is living alone not sleeping around etc..But I guess in the male version of single dating and sleeping around is single. No ring all fling...men ugh!

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   5. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think it's a gender mindset not to confuse sex with being a "couple" or in a relationship. Both the (man and the woman) having a "one night stand" would consider themselves to be single. Most singles (casually date) before exclusive. True?

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      moneyfairyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      to shay!!! LOL LOL
      In my version of being single I date rarely and don't sleep around.
      But when single you do as you please male or female. I'm just the PG version as opposed to the X-rated version. LOL But freedom is freedom. Enjoy!!!

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   7. 75

      Li Galoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.  So true!

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4. 80

   jennshealthstoreposted 11 years ago

   I know a lot of people consider anyone who is not married to be single. I do not think so. Single means one. If you are in a relationship then there are 2. If you are dating a person exclusively then if another person comes along and asks you on a date you should not date them if you say you are in a committed relationship. I consider single to be a person who is not in a relationship. If you are dating around or not dating at all then you are single.

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   1. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      A lot of people consider anyone not married as being (single). My guess is these same people would say an "exclusive relationship" is NOT a "commitment" unless the couple is married. If exclusive doesn't mean commitment then they're single.

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5. 74

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Single. It sounds like they are alone when things get tough. But they have plenty of opportunities to go get some. Most of my friends are single, but they aren't alone at night, just when times get tough.

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   1. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Therefore your friends are considered "Single" because they are not married or in an "exclusive relationship". However even if they were in a (relationship) and had to fill out a job application they'd check the box listing themselves as "single".

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   2. 74

      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      If they are dating someone, I don't consider them as single. From my view, dating is a trial before marriage. The question is: can they make it? And yes, they would have to check the box as single.

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   3. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Suppose they are dating multiple people without being committed to anyone or misleading anyone to believe they're "exclusive" They're not in a "relationship" and go out on dates with whomever & whenever. Wouldn't this person be considered single?

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   4. 74

      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. Being single, from my perspective, is the ability to freely sleep around. You have no ties to one person, or anyone for that matter. But that also means they are not valued by anyone either.

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6. 60

   keshab21posted 11 years ago

   It's freedom to be yourself. Which some people will never understand because they're to scared to be alone and search for rescue relationships after getting out of one which sometime ended up becoming similar to the pervious relationship. When your single you don't have to worry about that because you have the time to focus on yourself and how to become a better person.

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      moneyfairyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      keshab21: This is a great answer. Some people can never be alone(just needy and suck the life out of you),while others enjoy the freedom of being single Yeah!!!

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7. 57

   Flossydellaposted 11 years ago

   Being single to me means being independent. In some terms single does mean not married, you see this in many forms you fill out in either a doctors office or at school and etc. but to me, I do not consider myself single just because I am not married.
   When I tell people that I am single, it really just means I am going solo. Everyone has their own perception of what single really is.

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   1. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Flossydella, You made a valid point. Medical forms, employment application, W-4 or other forms the options are usually Single, Married, or Divorced, Some progressive companies recognize Domestic Partners for insurance. Officially unmarried is Single

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8. 0

   khmohsinposted 11 years ago

   I think being single to me is apperciating myself and knowing that i don't need a girl/woman to make me feel better, (should really take my own advice). Honestly being single is kind of a great feeling cause you feel liberated and the fact you can do what you want if you wanted to just is alot more appealing...

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      moneyfairyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, Freedom is a wonderful thing!!

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9. 61

   dearmommyposted 11 years ago

   To me it would mean a house that would stay clean. 

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10. 60

    ssman777posted 11 years ago

    Being single for me means that you are able to make everything by your own.

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11. 55

    Shaunred9023posted 11 years ago

    Being single does not mean being alone because as the famous saying no man is an island, and whether we like it or not it is true. For me being alone is not appropriate for individuals because we are made as man and woman, male and female to be united as one. There is proof inside our hearts, and whether we like it or not we feel it. Love is natural given to us. I will narrow it into specific love, for we sometimes tempted to define love in a broad sense. I am talking not to love love of your mother (Estorge), the love to your brother (Phileo), and the love of the Infinite Being (Agape), but to the love of the opposite sex (Eros). These terms are borrowed from the Greek concept of love in different aspect. We feel this eros love toward opposite sex, and that is natural of human beings because that is our design as human. If we are going to neglect this gift in order to maintain singleness, then there is a problem in us. We are indeed made for the hunger in relationship, I hunger for relationship, you are hunger for it as well. Being single for me is not appropriate because we are created for relationship, that is the reason we are made  male and female.

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       moneyfairyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Not true. We are not all meant to be in relationships nor is it abnormal not to be in one. Some can't concieve of a life without someone others are perfectly happy free and alone. Everyones definition is different.

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    2. 75

       Li Galoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I'm not sure I totally agree with you but I do agree that people want and crave other people in their lives. After all, we are social beings. If we find someone special to love while having people in our lives, so much the better!

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12. 79

    kallini2010posted 11 years ago

    Having read the answers, I think it is a very good question after all - when we meet each other and both "declare" being single, we don't necessarily mean the same thing.
    
    To me, being single is being unmarried and not in a relationship and right now I am truly single even though in the past I was married yet very much alone in an unhappy marriage and later I was dating, but I would call it now - an exploratory dating.  I really had no idea what the dating world around me was like.  I even managed to get into a more "committed" relationship only to learn later that it was doomed.  What I mean if I felt it was doomed from the beginning, there was no point in staying in it, was there?
    
    But with every looming possibility I did not consider myself truly single - I was hoping that THIS TIME it will work out.  And I did not explore more than one possibility at a time.  My commitment was always 100% - even if for a cup of coffee, for this and that.
    
    Now come to think of it, there is a difference between putting a check mark on a form "single" and a state of mind of being truly single.
    
    Next time I meet another person who tells me that he is SINGLE, I should probably say:
    
    "Would mind elaborating on what it means to you to be single?"
    
    An excellent question!

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    1. 79

       dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       kallini2010, You are so right it does pay to make sure you're on the same page. Having said that no one should commit to dating one person before knowing them well. That's like going to a buffet dinner and only stopping at the first station! :-)

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    2. 79

       kallini2010posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Ha-ha-ha! My commitment is more convenient to me - I prefer exploring one thing at a time.  And buffets? If one thing I should stay clear of, it is a BUFFET! I tend to overeat and gain weight.  Who would date me after such overindulgence?

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13. 62

    Lor's Storiesposted 11 years ago

    Being single means different things to different people.
    It's better than being called a spinster.
    It doesn't have that negative connotation.
    
    I'm single but I feel fine that I am single.
    Too bad my married friends don't feel that way,

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    1. 75

       Li Galoposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, many married folks don't get it. They think being single is somehow bad but it's lovely! I loved being in a serious relationship. I love being single. This is because I love me!  If you love yourself, then you're secure with or without another.

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14. 75

    Li Galoposted 11 years ago

    To me, if I don't see a ring, that person is single. It is a commitment if someone is seriously dating - just not the highest level of commitment that tells the world a person has given up the single life for good.
    
    I am single and I love it.  I have a very active life (no pouting at home all sad and dejected in a corner, hahaha) where I see friends about 2-3 times a week.  Some of my friends are married and other friends are single.  Because I'm very active socially, I make new friends about once or twice a month, and I am there for them, just as they are for me - in good times and bad.  My friends are a wonderful second family to me.  Because of my active life and great support system, I feel happy - not lonely.  Being alone does not mean being lonely.  Sadly, many people are actually with someone but feel alone.  That's just heart breaking. 
    
    The best part of being single: doing whatever I want without needing someone's approval or talking it over with someone else.  The other best part of being single, as dearmommy points out, a clean home!  Another terrific aspect of being single:  always having the option to help other single people feel like they have someone to hang out with on romantic holidays or just holidays in general.  For example, recently a friend threw a "I Hate Valentine's" party for her unattached friends.  It's things like that which make life so fun!  I always invite unattached friends who don't have family nearby to come to my Christmas Eve dinners.  So, this is how I define single life... having a great time with people I care about, who also care about me.  It's a great life!

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    1. 62

       Lor's Storiesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Even without thinking when I see a cute guy I look at the ring finger.
       But I often don't really do much because I like being single. Not that i have an exciting life but rather one where I don't need to argue over in- laws .

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15. 60

    Cricrinelposted 7 years ago

    Being single is an opportunity to learn ourselves because we have the time to deal with our personality, to look at part of us that we can improve and to evaluate the mistakes we did in the past. I never regret the times I was single because in my next relationship I was definitely a better person.

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16. 59

    ryan-cdposted 7 years ago

    It means not having a life partner, a girlfriend, it means your a lone wolf, even if you are seeing people on a causal basis you can still be single, you just don't have a serious partner.

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    1. 79

       dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Very common answer and in many respects an accurate one as well. Not having an "exclusive status" relationship generally means one is single. However even if you do have a mate or cohabitating; (legally you are still single per the gov.)

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    kellyksposted 6 years ago

    Well hi there and I must compliment you that this is a very nice question that I have seen in this forum. So looking at the answers I can assess that being single means socially single, legally single or even personally single. But whatever said and done all these kinds of being singles come with a set of responsibilities and of course lot of freedom as well. According to me, yes I am single – personally single – I feel that being single means a lot of happiness and freedom to me. It means that whatever happens I will never leave my side and will always be there for myself. I would be loving myself to the core and would do everything to make myself happy. It also means that whenever I come back home late there would be no one to answer as I already know what made me late. I would cook for myself and the criticism that I get for making a tasteless food will only remain with me. I would take criticism from myself very positively and will not shut myself out in case there is a disagreement between me and me. I would be free to learn who I want to be and what I want to do and my decision will only be reliant on myself and no one else. Being single I can do whatever I feel like doing without thinking of anyone else. I would not have unnecessary expectations from anyone and the ones I have from myself I am already trying to fulfill. I will no longer be an emotional fool and make decisions out of emotions. I am more practical and more intelligent and smarter than earlier. No drama and no judgments and not being lied to are the perks of being single. I hope you agree to it.

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    1. 79

       dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

       In essence autonomy, freedom, and independence!
       Therefore for you single means not dating anyone even casually.
       As one adage goes: "When I eat my family is fed!"
       I believe most people have  a need to feel special to someone and vice versa.

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    2. 79

       kallini2010posted 6 years agoin reply to this

       I know it's not my place to comment, but there are no decisions when there are no emotions. Decisions are made based on how the outcome makes one feel. Having one's own home to oneself seems to be based on avoidance. I do the same. It came with age.

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    3. 79

       dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

       kallini2010, Isn't it possible to choose to live alone and yet maintain a relationship or date? I know before I was married there were instances where I lived alone but still had relationships or dated.

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       kallini2010posted 6 years agoin reply to this

       dashingscorpio, I cannot even verbalize (yet) what this answer made me feel and think, but I'm sure I'm right. "Single" is a status in relationship to others, but here it sounds like not "single", but ALONE. To me, there is a difference.

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    5. 79

       dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

       I suppose that's what makes the question so interesting!
       Some people define "single" as being (alone) rather than a relationship/marital status. Two people could call themselves "single" and it means different things to them.

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    realtalk247posted 6 years ago

    Single means not in a monogamous relationship ,committed.  All this you're single if you're not married, not true. You are single when you are not in a relationship. Keep it simple. When you start determining various degrees and making something simple complicated that's where people go wrong.

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    1. 79

       dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

       Good points.
       However everyone does define things differently. As you can see from some answers. Some people feel if you're dating you're (not) single. They define it as being alone period.
       We also see various definitions for cheating as well

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    Ashleykarloskyposted 6 years ago

    I think It means your currently not in a relationship and your ready to mingle or not

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