Friends with benefits? Is it advisable?

1. 65

   Barine Sambarisposted 11 years ago

   Friends with benefits?
   Is it advisable?

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2. 78

   calynbanaposted 11 years ago

   No. I made a similar arrangement in my first year of University. It was painful for both parties, emotional attachments formed whether we wanted them to or not. We both experienced periods of jealousy, and possessiveness but could do nothing about it. It is impossible to fully trust the other party, and the friendship usually does not survive after the benefits end. It took a couple months for me to realize the futility of the arrangement. My arrangement eventually turned into monogamous dating, and later marriage but we will always regret the way our relationship began.

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3. 0

   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   No. Friends with benefits usually means that one of the two, or both, have deeper feelings than they are willing to admit. Eventually, it will end up with someone getting hurt. Then you have not only been hurt, but you have also lost a friend. There is no way to go back to the place you once were.

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4. 71

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   Not entirely. They will not stay merely friends for long. After adding the benefits, they seem to almost be a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's a very tricky situation.

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   1. 65

      Barine Sambarisposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      So its best not to have a 'friend with benefits?'

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   2. 71

      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. It's best not to.

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5. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   I think it depends on the maturity of the individuals and the circumstances. FWB really is not anything new. Many (seniors) have been doing this for decades. Maybe they're a widow/widower or divorced and have NO interest in a full-time relationship, living with someone, nor have a desire to re-marry. A "friend" may come into town for the weekend or they go out of town to visit a "friend".
   More often than not this is someone they do not bring around their family and platonic friends very often. They keep their private life (private). Their own adult children and their grandchildren may not even be aware that they are "getting their grove on" from time to time with a "special friend". As far as they know "gramps" is living a lonely life. :-)
   Having said that a FWB arrangement for someone who is young or immature may not be ideal. Subconsciously they may want more than a FWB but are settling for it now in hopes of it evolving into more. There is also the chance that one of them becomes "emotionally invested" and insists on becoming exclusive. Either way someone gets hurt in the end.
   Bottom line is (both) people have to truly know themselves and each other. This is something that seniors pretty much have down.

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6. 61

   jravity1posted 11 years ago

   No, but it does seem like it would a good arrangement. That is why people even try it. No matter what happens...someone will be way, way more attached. There is no turning back, and it could completely destroy any feelings the other has, or ever will have.

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7. 79

   jennshealthstoreposted 11 years ago

   I agree with most of the responses. There is always going to be one person who has more feelings than the other. Plus if you are able to be intimate with a person on that level then you should both make a decision to try out a relationship. Me personally do not believe in being with more than one person at a time and being with a person on that level is something that should come from love and emotions so I know that for me this would not work.

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8. 60

   IDONOposted 11 years ago

   The movie? Yes. In real life, all I can say is if you are involved in this situation, you better enjoy it now because it will not last. It will go one way or the other in time.

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9. 0

   khmohsinposted 11 years ago

   NO...!!! Some may argue that it’s difficult to maintain a relationship, and while that belief certainly has merit, let’s not discount the inherent challenge involved in keeping friends with benefits. Walking the fine line of blissful, casual enjoyment with a committed relationship on one side, is a risky balancing act, and you must control the weight distribution.

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