This thread was not conceived and initiated as a commencement of finger pointing nor chastising, nor to char broil any one individual or group of persons to tenderized perfection over a white hot bed of flaming embers, it is however intended to be a "Heads Up" and potential learning tool for HP Staff -
I sincerely hope the next upcoming "Profile Page" tweak is thought through all the way prior to implementation to avoid mishap -
Following the recent "Hub Layout Conversion", which as we all know occurred several weeks ago, almost all of my hubs were automatically left in shambles - At least 80% needed my immediate attention to fix aesthetic abnormalities or text shrinkage as a direct result of the Hubpages format manipulation - Spacing in between segments was also compromised which created an undesirable compression effect, font in some sentences was reduced to unreadable words for the average person -
I don't believe this incident was planned as an intentional consequence by staff, however, this innocent mistake or technological miscalculation on their part, does not miraculously bring back all those wasted hours I've spent re-adjusting my entries to once again reflect my lofty, professional publishing standards, nor does it ease my concern for future incidents yielding potentially similar outcomes -
I am continuing on with a week long inter-community expedition to correct all of these inadvertent, unsightly visual blemishes within my hubs, which evidently happened automatically and immediately subsequent to the layout change launch -
Needless to say, as a dedicated, highly respected expert in the literary, photographic, and artistic fields, a consummate professional who takes great pride in presenting visually attractive experiences to a global population, this enormous waste of precious time performing an unnecessary duplication of tasks to re-apply my expertise into each hub is difficult to digest -
Right now, I have other commitments such as working on a Bev Hills Community Project which requires a substantial amount of my spare time, so I'm hoping any and all Changes / Experimentation Hubpages attempts in the future, will be blue printed to perfection with zero tolerance for mistake -
I realize others may have experienced a smoother transition, however, this was unfortunately not the case for me - No reply is necessary, this is just an FYI for HP Staff -
If this is your primary requirement, then why do you publish your work on a site such as hubpages?
It should be on your own site, where you have 100% control over the format and appearance.
Maybe the OP isn't aware of the definition of "content farm". With that many qualifications, methinks he needs a secretary and a publisher, not a site designed to pay about $5 per thousand views.
I publish and submit works for general public viewing via numerous online platforms and beyond, HP is just one launching pad I currently use to fulfill my global Reach & Growth -
I'm not quite sure what you mean by "Requirement" nor is it necessarily important to me - There are, and were glitches that surfaced as a direct result of the layout Conversion & Implementation which I am working diligently to resolve - invaluable time exhausted which could have been expended on other projects -
My original comment was a heads up to staff to hopefully prevent another "Glitchorama" in the future and nothing more -
Where, when, and for whom I write & publish is really none of your concern, sometimes it's done for monetary gain, and other times for diverging reasons which will not be divulged here - But I do appreciate your suggestion even though I'm quite familiar with all aspects of online publishing venues -
cc: WryLilt - Eric Graudins
Whenever changes are made, there are sure to be some periods of discomfort during the transition. I'm sure the staff do all they can to minimise discomfort.
A wise man once said that intelligence is not about making the simple complicated, but about making the complicated simple.
And this is an informal forum, not an email.
I'm not so sure a "Wise Man" said that, if he did, I'm not so sure why he's called a "Wise Man" -
In any event, I was simply informing HP Staff of the excruciating "Discomfort" I'm experiencing in the form of repairing the aesthetic appeal of my work, time and energy expended as a direct result of their unintended or accidental miscalculations, especially as it relates to "Font Size" "Spacing" etc. - No more no less -
But unfortunately, or fortunately for HP which survives on "Forum Chat", it appears as if I've attracted more attention than possibly warranted for the subject matter as I usually do for some mysterious reason - I guess that can only be a good thing right? -
AP, each time I read, correction, wade through, another of your self- aggrandising epithets, characterised as they are by a frankly embarrassing degree of self-belief that to me, would be better described as self-delusion, given that your constant claims of 'writing excellence' and 'worldwide renown' in all forms of 'online publishing venues' are in equally constant contrast to any observable value or benefit to the reader, (I realise they offer real benefit to you, possibly of a 'therapeutic' nature) in the actual content of said 'wade-throughs' to which I have alluded, I am again reminded that, while it is relatively simple for a person with little to offer save a marginally above average ability with words, a misplaced willingness to boast of standards in written expression that are in fact simultaneously challenged by the very way in which they are expressed, and an unfortunately unrestrained ability to expel verbiage at the drop of a hand onto a keyboard, to string together a number of words into what may at first blush give the appearance of something that could be worth taking time to read, sadly, such over-working is more frequently disappointing in the extreme. No reader should have to work so hard for so little.
If you're still with me, AP, and I know you will be, likely filled with righteous indignation and ready to rebut - at interminable length - it is my hope that this message, intentionally over-complicated as it is to illustrate the degree of difficulty your professed 'best in the world', but in fact tiresomely turgid writing presents to even the most kind-hearted and patient reader, (God knows, I've invested far too much of my own time struggling to unearth your proclaimed diamonds from the merely shiny, not even 'polished' prose), proves the point.
Far be it for me to offer advice to one so exalted, (at least, in one's own mind) on the topic of communication effectiveness, but were I so to do, I would recommend you consider applying the KISS principle to future efforts. No need to explain the anagram, surely..
@Writeronline: that first paragraph of your post possibly contains the longest sentence ever to appear on the HP forums
Rock on...WO. Possibly the best commentator on HP...
Oh come on Alternative Prime.
Methinks thou doth protesteth too much.
If this platform was not important to you (for whatever top level secretive divergent or non divergent purposes that you may have) then why would you take the time to pen such a missive as this, and why would you spend so much of your clearly valuable time to make these corrections.
(Please don't bother your immense mind to reply to this insignificant pondering by one who clearly knows nothing compared to your vast knowledge and experience of the internet and beyond)
Holy crap. That made my sphincter cramp up just reading it. I can't imagine what it must have done to yours writing it. I bet the sound of it whistling drives your cats nuts.
I am intrigued by the Bev Hills Community Project. I am not sure what you mean exactly? Are there some Beverly Hills people that are down on their luck where perhaps I could donate my services? Just because people live in the hills dont make them automatically hillbillies. I cant help if they are involved in moonshine however.
if you've ever visited Beverly Hills, Century City, and surrounding vicinity, you would know exactly what I'm referring to PhoenixV - The city is flanked in all directions by poverty and that's a fact - One minute on one upscale street you're dining at the finest of restaurants, the next moment on the next street within walking distance, you meet a family who is in the process of wondering where their next meal will miraculously appear from -
So before you jump on board with the rest who clearly have an ulterior motive, perhaps you should at least try to gain a basic understanding of the fundamental facts -
I have many high profile Friends & Acquaintances in Beverly Hills whom I've built solid working relationships with over the years, these are very generous individuals - I'm in the process of consulting in various different capacities to create a community solution to this underlying problem -
This is possibly the funniest thread I have ever had the pleasure to read!
Sir AP, if my may address you in such a familiar manner, you are quite free to leave, even though you've graced HubPages' presence for over 2 years.
PS: It must be good to be da king!
If you inject a healthy dose of pride in your work as I do, it surely would not be humorous if it ever happens to you lorlie6 - But I do however understand a little more about your deep, inner self after reading such a shallow comment
I might be wrong, but I'm reasonably confident your sentiment related to members just "Leaving" as a blanket solution to "Glitches" within the system, or any other issues a member might experience here is probably not shared by HP Staff -
I see it quite frequently here at HP within these forums, where some members tell others to simply "Leave" when faced with different challenges - If everyone who had experienced a problem in the past just packed up and used the exit, there would probably be two members left when all settled -
Waste of time forum post. Too many words, highly derivative of the personal needs of one individual and posts on the forum are not always read by Hubpages staff.
Send them an email, seriously....
NO response required,
So if this is a waste of time why are you here? -
As I stated in my original post Kangaroo, no reply was necessary, a point within my original comment which you had obviously failed to recognize - Even though I realize this is a public thread, it was intended for HP's benefit exclusively -
When you invest as much time, effort, and resources into a sight like I have with respect to HP, when "Glitches" occur that force you to expend significant time & energy to fix, resources which could have been allocated toward something a little more productive like improving the lives of children, or helping the less fortunate find a lighted path, I believe informing staff of this circumstance can only be for the betterment or improvement of the site by helping to avert a future incident -
I'm highly confident HP Staff appreciates this input despite the juvenile responses from members on this thread, if not, I would have to assume they are not genuinely concerned about all community members, just a select few -
In either case, I would invite any or all Staff Members when time permits, to come in here to either confirm or reject my assumptions, and to tell me directly that all the time and energy I expended in recent weeks to correct the framework which contains my HP experiences, was just my tough luck and concern for the integrity of my personal contributions, or anyone else's investment is not a priority -
I've changed my mind-do stay, AP, you are quite entertaining. Pomposity suits you.
You have either chosen to ignore what I suggested to you or you have read my post and dismissed it. Why I myself am here a read of my profile would provide a short glimpse of some reasons.
The time wasted has been through writing a forum post with you not knowing if someone who is part of the HP Staff will read it. Having the post even read by one or more persons on HP Staff does not guarentee action required on their part either. The better suggestion was to send an email to HP Staff. Whether you have decided on that course of action is unknown to us.
It is also fine to request a no response from a site member based forum, but difficult due to the fact that the forums are public on the whole internet and members can reply and comment at any time. Simply because you request people. Not to respond by posting does not make it a reality.
You want a HP staff exclusive, send them an email.
There are more than plenty members whom use this site that have without doubt, spent massive amounts of time, resources and effort on this site for their own work.
Ask anyone who has been here since prior to February 2011 and then post February 2011 and how much change and updating and massive amounts of time, energy & resources undertaken were done when Google Panda 1.0 raised its ugly head.
You telling us that you had rather spent time fixing up a bunch of hubs because the formatting went awry rather than spend time improving the lives of children under priviledged or helping the less fortunate tells me where your priorities were at the time.
Why would HP staff come to provide a single individual member on this changes bequest because of confirmed or rejected assumptions.
Please also no longer bore us with conspiracy theories or presumptions on groups of Hubbers ganging up on you. People are expressing an opinion the same as you expressing an opinion irrespective of your own personal agreement or point of view.
Each post of yours in this particular forum thread reminds me of a child who cracks it each time his or her shiny new toy, which is a communal toy not personal property, is asked to be put back in the box when finished with.
AP, I have to say I'm not surprised KJ missed it, because your style of writing is so flowery, most of us skim through your posts. Mark Ewbie has hit it on the head: if you're seeking success as an online writer, you need to edit your posts so you sound like a 21st century writer, not an 18th century one.
Of course if you aspire to write like an author from earlier centuries in your creative writing, that's your privilege - and there is a market for authors able to write in that style. But when you're doing business with 21st century people, you need to communicate in 21st century vernacular. That's not "talking down", that's being clear and concise and using English in the appropriate register for your audience (look up register if you don't know what it means). Being able to adapt your writing style to suit your audience is the sign of a good writer.
HubPages staff do not monitor the Hubber's Hangout, so HubPages is oblivious to your difficulties. If you wish to bring something to their attention, you need to post in the "Report" threads, not here.
Didn't quite miss it Marisa, just did not want to over indulge in this particular individual. This ones ego will not allow a change away from his particular style of antiquated dialog and flowery writing.
I've not seen such energy from an individual continue to overlook helpful suggestions to a fine point of alienating an audience and such a large group of Hubbers.
AP originally posted in Report a Technical Problem or Bug, but staff promptly moved it here.
You guys would make a perfect addition to the thread entitled "Have We Figured It Out Yet"? - A forum where a couple members are actually "Complaining" about receiving in excess of 1,000 views per day as if this is somehow an inadequate volume for respective contributions -
Talk about your "Self Aggrandizing" "Self Indulgence" -
But have no fear, comments pertaining to present and future "Glitches" which are experienced here at HP during drastic layout changes will be transmitted in private directly to staff from this point forward -
I think its fine to pick on people one on one, in a forum. Someone it just doesn't seem right in gangs.
Besides, I like picking on AP. And I can't do it if it makes me feel guilty.
I've come to the logical conclusion it's a pre-meditated, covertly orchestrated effort by a small select few Hubbers to harass certain HP Members such as me Will, and the same individuals attempt to "Pump Up" others via the forums - I'm surprised Hubpages Staff allows this to happen -
Unfortunately, the innvaluable time I've spent here in this forum responding to the children who are obviously craving attention, could have been exhausted elsewhere to help those truly in need - Projects designed to enrich the lives of our fellow citizens, some of whom are just barely surviving in destitution - Projects which I'd hoped to mention here, in this venue sometime in the future, but definitely will not even consider now due to the "Unpredictability" and "Sporadic Written Psychosis & Jealousy" expressed in abundance by this small group of mal-intended individuals -
Fortunately, I have a tremendous wealth of additional resources and venues at the ready, both online and off, to promote such a worthy cause -
This is me in helpful mode.
Your manner of writing seems designed to minimise appeal. IF you wish to appeal to as many people as possible then the reaction in this thread and others should indicate something.
You can respond in as much flowery manner as you like BUT to widen appeal you need to use more basic, to the point language.
Mark, I appreciate your alternate mode, but it appears to be just another attempt at ridicule cloaked in the guise of genuine help -
It has absolutely nothing to do with "Appeal" per say, and everything to do with ulterior motive - I've been around long enough to understand the difference -
I don't think "Writing Down" to appease a Hubpages crowd, as a few less than stellar writers have suggested, is the answer to long term success for this site known as Hubpages - It should only serve to incrementally erode intrinsic value - Regardless of whether the verbiage is used within a Hub or Forum -
Others should be improving upon communications skills and talents, not waiting in anticipation for the experts to "Appeal" to them by utilizing "Dirty", simplistic language - Professionally composed work gains respect from readers, the opposite will eventually be exposed for what it truly is -
Despite what others might think, premiums are typically not paid to average, below average, or even expert talent here at HP -
Right now, you have a few members wondering why they do not get paid $4,000 per month for writing on Hubpages - For those of us who have made a living out of reading and interpreting the market place and economy, we realize the answer is quite apparent - Because he / she probably does not deserve the same income as a competent, professional writer employed by the "Wall Street Journal", or a "Law Enforcement Officer", or even a " Fire Fighter" - $4,000 is significantly more of a salary than most teachers make annually -
I've always anticipated a fair monthly compensation for my highly sought after, original, unique, expertly composed and arranged literary & visual contributions to Hubpages, possibly somewhere in the "Hundreds", but to expect $4,000 on a consistent basis as some do, for merely publishing hubs here, in my opinion is quite unrealistic -
Believe me, please, that it was not an attempt at ridicule. I considered making a few easy shots and as usual these days - I didn't bother.
It was a serious statement. Most people are busy, tired, not particularly literate or time-rich.
The short point, well made, will go far.
But hey, that's just an opinion and we are all entitled, etc.
... or maybe it's the way you put yourself across that makes people want to take the piss out of you.
I actually agree with some of what you say (certainly about the way HP is being run) but often I see your "wall of text" posts and say to myself "tl;dr!" So if you truly want people to listen to you, it might be worth cutting out the waffle and the self-aggrandisement.
Having said that, you are probably all too well aware that once decided on a particular policy, the management here is unlikely to change course no matter how good an argument you have or how cogently and succinctly you express it.
(Warning to self: I really shouldn't post when I have raging toothache and am therefore very irritable.)
Edit: what Mark said.
You really don't have to look at my appalling "Wall of Text" posts if that's your prerogative, and I'm really not sure why you've decided to pop in with toothache a blazin' to express all this steaming animosity - No coercion nor undue influence applied to force or compel your engagement -
My original comment at page top, which is still clearly visible, was simply designed as a heads up to HP Staff to be used for future improvement of site operation, not a specific or general critique of said management - Then all of a sudden, this pre-planned major offensive performed by a select few Hubbers erupted into what it is, and then was subsequently launched in my general direction -
Accusations and discontent which centered almost exclusively on my use of "Sophisticated Language" by those who prefer "Brief, Simplistic, & Elementary Level" entries, were then articulated, and before you know it, a follower, who I suspect was probably a "Shill" to begin with, turned in his / her resignation - I hope he / she finds happiness within the confines of hubs written by others -
99% of my followers are legit and I respect that - I sincerely appreciate experiencing their work and hopefully they feel the same in return -
The rest is almost history -
If there was a pre-planned offensive, then I certainly wasn't in on the plan
Prove it Empress -
A) Do you actually think the word "sphincter" is funny?
B) Are you a "Dickens" reader - lover - relative?
Be very careful how you answer -
(A) Used in the right context, I think that the word "sphincter" is hilarious. I have a very toilet-oriented sense of humour.
(B) I can't get into Dickens at all. His verbosity drives me up the wall. I can read other 19th century classics with great enjoyment - Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Thackeray... but Dickens does my bleedin' head in.
You're the one who made the assertion that people on this thread planned to gang up on you - you prove it.
Mark is right, AP. If we must be strictly serious for a moment, the reason the post caught so much flack should not be lost in the silliness used to point it out. I realize the natural human reaction to being teased is not to look for the root cause, but if we step back for a moment and just be writers on a writing site together, you must at least recognize, given your vast and prodigious publication and editorial experience, the value of a critique.
So, since several highly literate and respected individuals, plus me of course, have suggested that your prose may be ponderous and, if I may, overweening, perhaps you could examine your style and inculcate some touch of that great advice Polonius gave when he pronounced, "Brevity is the soul of wit," which, if you are familiar with it, you may recall the delightful irony with which it came. In that, you may see a bit of what we are saying, as reflected in this thread.
Just a simple question before I leave this pre-planned offensive to embark upon more productive ventures which will hopefully make a significant difference in the world -
I guess you agree with Mark E.? - His suggestion was to use more simplistic language to address HP Staff and all other readers of this thread -
It wasn't a pre-planned offensive. Seriously, it was not. I'll confess a pack mentality ensued, and I shouldn't have participated, as clearly it hurt your feelings, and I do apologize. I have a hard time passing up an opportunity for potty humor and any opportunity to use the word sphincter just sets me to giggling and then I can't help myself. So, please allow for my abiding immaturity and accept my apology anyway.
As for the simplified language, yes, I think you'll have a better chance of having your message (your point) received if you bring down the tone of the posts (and emails, frankly). Make the language accessible. The post reads very formal, almost legalese, which is hard to process. Plus, if we're being perfectly honest, people are lazy and don't want to read long stuff.
A quick word of advise Shadesbreath -
Never "Talk Down" to your audience, always encourage them to raise the level of their skills to catch up -
"Talking Down" only breeds more laziness, and encourages no one to improve
BTW - Unlike you and others here, I'm quite confident HP Staff got my original message at page top, and hopefully, they all were able to comprehend the entry with relative ease - It's the least you would expect from those operating an online publishing business -
When you start a statement with "A quick word of advise, [anyone's name]..." you should not follow it with a statement like "NEVER 'talk down' to your audience." If you can fathom irony (once again Polonius comes to mind), you might see how that particular paring can do nothing but backfire.
And yes, I'm sure HP got your point. Assuming any of them opened up the thread and saw how long of a read they were in for and then committed to the ride. Beyond that, I can see that you are content to ignore well-meaning advice yourself, adding an extra layer of irony here, and so I will leave off with any further olive branch attempts or attempts at professional courtesy. Reap what you sow and bluster when the crop comes in. It's sad to witness in a classically tragic kind of way.
I'm currently rereading Pride and Prejudice". I think we may have just met the modern day Mr. Collins!
Except that Jane Austin's spelling, grammar and punctuation were perfect unlike AP's.
BTW weekend - I prefer the "Oxford Comma"
If you are the professional writer you claim to be, you should be placing serial commas according to Associated Press standards:
The flag is red, white and blue.
I had orange juice, toast, and ham and eggs for breakfast.
Fortunately, most readers don't give a, shit, where the commas are.
I treat punctuation much as I would my wife.
Sorry..... COMMA... can't think of a humorous analogy.
Very true, Mark Ewbie, but considering AP's claims of being a professional writer, I'd have thought he'd have known that comma placement has nothing to do with personal preference.
Well I dunt know nothing 'bout that. I never learned much of them fancy stuff with punctumication - wot with been in prison and all - only thign in their is not to use the colon 2 much if you know wot i mean, nod's as good as a wink and all that malarky.
I do fink tho' that there is much skills of different types of righting and so long as the money keps on rollin'n in - who worries?
Bak on the subject of this here thred.
Yup it's a shambles all right - gawd bless him.
weekend, my most loyal follower in the history of the world -
You're talking to a person who trains & educates "AP" type personnel - I create & augment contemporary "Standards" - You may disagree with my concepts & ideas, but that's the way it is -
It's essentially your choice, a simple matter of preference, however I use the "Oxford" as definitive closure between words - But the ultimate decision is yours -
AP, my guess is that you're a 14-year-old who swallowed a thesaurus.
You do not 'create & augment contemporary "Standards"' and may God help us if you did!
Furthermore, use of commas has nothing to do with preference.
Okay, AP. I did follow you and praise your literary skills highly, but it was in jest. I find your writing hilarious and thought it an intentional joke on your behalf.
It's '"Appeal" per se', by the way, and not '"Appeal" per say'. You're making a total fool of yourself here.
What I find amusing is that you've received only one piece of truly sound advice, from Eric Graudins, but choose to ignore it in favor of responding to all the people critiquing your writing style.
If you were really "quite familiar with all aspects of online publishing venues" you wouldn't have such high expectations that this site--which you do not have control over--could meet all of your aesthetic requirements and then post a novel-length complaint about it. If you have exacting standards for how things are aligned and presented on the page, you have to purchase your own website and either build it yourself or hire someone else to implement your designs.
And to expedite a bug report it helps if you just get to the point and list specific things that are wrong with the page and which URLs have been affected. Staff doesn't have all day to read 10000000-word posts to figure out what the problem is.
Eric Graudins comment had absolutely nothing to do with my "Heads Up" and suggestion to HP Staff -
My hubs were negatively effected by the recent layout conversion, it took me several days to remedy the situation and bring them back up to my personal aesthetic standards, I mentioned this in my comment, and then merely suggested to HP Staff there might be a "Glitch" so exercising extreme caution in the future might be the prudent route in an effort to mitigate odds of another wasteful, time consuming incident - A glitch which could very easily effect the work of others, not just mine -
Then, all of a sudden, without prior notice, Eric pops in with a totally irrelevant comment suggesting that I, or anyone else who experiences problems here at HP should simply move Hubs to their privately owned web sites -
Still perceive it as "Sound Advise"?
P.S. Even though I understand this is a public forum, a place to create content, my original comment was directed toward HP Staff, not you or Eric, and if you can't read then subsequently comprehend 5 or 6 brief paragraphs within 30 seconds or less, despite the complexity or sophistication, you're "Calling" might be calling you outside the writing / publishing business - It's a pretty straight forward evaluation yet I believe accurate and honest -
LOL. Wow. I've never seen anyone work so assiduously to alienate literally everyone.
I am officially returning to my original assessment and formally reassert my belief about your cats and the misery that just has to accompany the piercing, dog-whistle shrill that must accompany the rectal spasms this sort of constitutional turgidity generates.
ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Wow, some brilliant writing talent you must have there if you don't know the difference between "advice" and "advise." Yes, I'm sure your Hollywood clients are paying you the big bucks to addvyze them.
You might want to look into why someone might use "advise" before pulling out your lampoon harpoon.
You may notice that no one else seemed to have an issue with it?
tussin - you mysterious little shadow man -
Unless I'm missing something, which is quite possible, I think sunforged got it right - Re-alignment of that pointy little harpoon toward your own "Rearus Maximus" for immediate soft tissue penetration might be in order -
So, forgive me, but I'm not even sure you're trying to say - The difference between the respective definitions associated with the different spellings of the same word is negligible -
FYI - I deleted the senseless comment you submitted to one of my most sought after entries - If I see another emerge from your pen to my work, it will once again be swiftly attended to -
Juvenile behavior deserves appropriate editorial action which I unfortunately had to take -
My apologies regarding the mishap using the word "Advise" - We can only strive for perfection but never truly achieve it -
When you're in the unique position of trying to respond to a small group of individuals with obvious pre-mediated motive, it can be difficult to do so in a timely manner without faltering along the way -
However, the balance of my last comment still stands - There will be no mal-intended comments accepted within the confines of my work -
I'm not at all surprised that you were unable to understand the relevance of my original comment.
I can only assume that your head is planted so far up your backside that the sealing action of your sphincter is cutting off the oxygen supply to your brain.
You said... you said... <snicker> ... you said... sphincter lolololol
Yeah, but you said it first. And once it's out there, it can't be controlled.
And an out of control sphincter is not a pretty sight. (Oops - there it goes again)
Aww, man... dude. Someone needs to light a match now.
I'm just going to leave this here, with no further comment
I think that the detrimental approach to ones own self confidence can have the instilled belief beyond repair of the qualities of human natures in Squirrels with jet packs and this belief is partly responsible for wars against religions and the equality of Donkey balls. Now if we were to dance the dance of one million infinite strategies of the mind of absence, then we will all be kings of our domain. Additionally, if a Cat was to become the authoritativeness prospect in the resulting situation, then they will become the dominant species against the Pickle that is in fact a lower life form.
Hubpages is a machine that needs to have specification that will divulge the tools of your own evolution. Mundane tasks such as randomly erratic movements of your bowel can dissolve your own futile bottom burps into something that much more special!
According to my expansive experience, the mundane bottom burp becomes a sublimely pleasurable and rip-roaring occurence when aided by the Bottom Burp Enhancer available from Amazon, Ebay and Walmart.
Elaine Stritch Boston Baked Beans can be employed to the same purpose by those of lower income brackets, but it should be noted that this method of enhancing the mundane bottom burp frequently interferes with capsule alignment.
As an agent of HubPages, your involvement in a 3 ring charade such as this does absolutely nothing to enhance HP's overall reputation - I would like to know if Staff condones your behavior, or if it's just unilateral action taken -
In either case, a severe tarnishing of the "e" letter in my view is unavoidable at this point - I would have expected more from an individual whose primary function is to "Help" new members become acclimated to the system -
For a person in your position as designated official "Greeter", a neutral demeanor should be practiced while on the job to avoid moments like this in the future - Just a suggestion for you and staff -
The absence of relativeness in your reply abstains the outcome of many solutions. I would be quite appalled as to the punctual and very timely manner to which you have appointed upon us here in the forum. Your lack of irrespective orange peel is rather disturbing and the nature to which you relate is rather bizarre.
Taking a seat....
Entering the argument as an objective observer, if that’s possible in this type of discussion. The vast majority of the internet users have very low reading standards, so unless the articles you are writing are targeted at a specific niche where the advanced language will be expected and appreciated, the common reader will simply not understand some of the words.
Sadly that is a matter of fact, and one that most professional writers understand. Quick, concise, error free writing at a level that can be read by those who can understand 8th Grade level English is often used. As an example, recent speeches by top politicians (including the POTUS) are mostly written at 8th Grade level.
So the question should be more about whether we should aim to write at a higher level?, or simply write error free, grammatically correct text that can be read by anyone?
Sorry you are having troubles with formatting, etc. I personally have not experienced any of those problems with my hubs.
There is no question, I am a very reasonable person who did recognize the levity -
Under different circumstances it would have been accepted and appreciated for what it is - However, in the context of an organized, pre-planned, quasi rabid offensive against me, which we are obviously in the midst of, levity or even the slightest injection of humor just seems out of place -
Sorry for the typical honest response, another time, another place possibly -
On a more positive note however, when I see the same group of individuals running in here with desperate attempts to try to discredit, ridicule, or suggest I don't fit in with the ideal definition of "Hubber" just because I prefer a polished, sophisticated, and professional approach to my work, it simply confirms the fact that I'm definitely on the right track and will continue to produce what I always had in the past, good solid literary and visual experiences for a growing global audience -
As if I really needed reaction from this crowd to empower me to re-affirm my creative convictions -
And yes, I do anticipate fair compensation for my contributions however, unrealistic, delusional expectations of "Thousands" per month on a consistent basis lasting into infinity, as some extraordinarily egotistical members think they deserve for publishing a few hundred briefly worded articles on Hubpages, was never part of my plan -
If I may echo UW here, AP; how on earth could this thread have been 'pre-planned'? Was it not you that started this thing? Another concern I have is your apparent conviction that most of the Hubbers here have "ulterior motives".
I have never seen you on HubPages before and bore no ill will toward you-what motive could I possibly have in entering such a thread but to read your OP critically and respond in my own "shallow and empty", "childish" way?
Style is individual, certainly, and I honestly do not begrudge you yours, except to point out your stunning insistence on alienating yourself in an obviously paranoid manner.
Well, in defense of AP. He is who he is. And he is obviously not going to give up.
As a Dickens fan, I sort of appreciate the prolix (Dickens was pretty much paid by the word and never used one when he could get away with two).
There's a huge difference between dense but beautiful prose and ponderous, overweening obfuscation.
I think I prefer Vogon poetry to AP's stuff.
And I'm more and more forming the opinion that he/she is a very clever troll.
Perhaps it could even be YOU Mr. Shadesbreath!
Hah! That would be funny if it was me. Except you know it's not me because I know the difference between effect and affect while our friend, despite claims to perfection and all that crap, does not.
Shadesbreath, it's a "Chat Forum" -
Although trying to keep up with all this chatter is more amusing than anything else, I think I'm doing pretty well for a "20 Verses 1 Scenario" -
A few misspellings, or improper word insertion is to be expected when trying to respond to this hefty volume of comments - As I've clearly articulated in the past, I'm an expert, not perfect -
So be extremely proud of your little"Catch" even though the core of your arguments are exceedingly weak - There might even be more errors to highlight if you continue to search diligently -
I would say the odds are extremely favorable that I would capture such egregious violations placed within the writings of others if I took the time to play the game -
Of course we all make dumb/easy mistakes. You'll find you only ever get called on that kind of stuff when you proclaim yourself an expert, particularly in the manner you do it in.
And you know you love the 20-on-1 attention, so be happy. People came out to play your game with you.
I might be new, but I know what's going on here. You are what we call around here a "company man". It goes back to the days where workers had to shop at the company store. There was nothing else around. That's okay if you like the company. Some folks did, and some folks got so mad at them there was gun play. Back then, Florida was wilder than the west.
I am having trouble with the Hub thing. In school, when we did web pages, you didn't have this edit mode where everything looks so different. I am afraid to give my social security number. Cant I just have a paypal account instead?
Welcome to Hub Pages! And thank you for the big chuckle.
Shadesbreath as company man!!!
We do have such here. Absolutely.
Not Shades, tho. He's a solid "I" for independent island in the stream.
Negative, Ghost Rider. Your radar needs recalibrating. Either that, or I suspect you might have skipped through a lot of the stuff on the pages between the OP and this page (don't feel bad, I do that all the time), and have missed it that way.
As far as your S.S. and HP, they've been pretty trustworthy in the four-plus years I've been here. Sure they could get hacked, like any other account we have, but, well, this is the modern age. Embrace it. Someday four hundred years from now, they'll be making holo-movies and throwing theme parties where everyone dresses like us. Enjoy your time living at the height of Rome.
Oh, and welcome to HP.
Thanks for the welcome. I'm glad you didn't get mad. When tourists come through Fellsmere, they get mad at us all the time. I'm not sure they understand English all that good. I just heard president Obama say to go on the internet to get jobs and be creative. I am doing what I can. I think I got my first one of these hubs up. No telling. It is a weird program.
As far as the social security number. One of the deacons at my church said it was the mark of the beast and we should never give it to anyone, especially on the internet.
Anyway, I am not so worried. I just want to write and take advantage of my education, and write. Maybe I'll do good. Maybe not. I sure aim to find out. Thanks for your time. Time is money. Now I've got more, thanks to you. Good luck with all you do. You are nice. I like that.
I don't know how much wisdom he had. His wife caught him running around with a trampoline dancer from Cirque du Soleil in Orlando. The church almost split over it. Most of the good folks wanted to just forgive him and support his family. There was one group who wanted to burn him alive or something.
It's like my Gramma said, "There is the Church, and then there is the Lord. The two don't always mix."
I suspected as much. Linking SS numbers and the mark of the beast is pseudo christian paranoid babble. I wouldn't take that one to heart.
By all means, protect your identity and be wary of where you share your SS# - but if you want to earn money online, in many cases you will need to provide a SS number to your partners in otder to be paid.
You mean to tell me there is no way around it? I thought we were self employed. I just saw a thing on WESH TV how it isn't a good idea to put your Social Security Number online at all. Bad employees of good, reputable online businesses can have access to them and no telling what they will do.
Can't i just give them an ivoice and do the taxes myself? I claim self employment on my return, and they have a thing to figure the tax. It seems like side work to me. no one takes out taxes except an employer. Something doesn't seem right.
HubPages will report your earnings to the IRS as one of their expenses. In order to do so, they'll need your social security number. It's safe* to do so online. I have never had any issues.
*Always make sure it's a reputable company and the page which collects the information is on a site with https (and not http.)
In fact, just today I had to give my social security number to apply to transfer to a different school. The school doesn't have a paper application. If you get an online bank account (like ING), buy stocks over the Internet, etc, then you'll be required to give your social security number.
And, of course, there ARE some people who run into the unfortunate circumstance of getting their information stolen, but that's a way of life... things that I doubt didn't happen when you wrote your social security number down on a paper application, put it in an envelope, and let it sit overnight in an unlocked mail box, to potentially be received in an unlocked mailbox by a person who can do with the information as he or she pleases with the hopes that he/she follows protocols set forth in their company.
Yes, there are some companies who ask your social security number (Comcast used to ask it of me, for identification purposes) when they have no legal right to the information. HubPages and Google use your social security number in reporting to the IRS which is a beyond reasonable usage of this. You have to have the money tied to your name. Otherwise, you'd be getting paid under the table... and then no-one, of course, would ever admit to making a cent with AdSense or HubPages.
It's important to be wary with giving out your information. And I think it's better to be overly protective than to be very open with everyone about credit card numbers and social security numbers. That said, you're generally safe putting your stuff online.
As for news stations, those segments seem to be for reigning in the people who do very stupid stuff with their information. I mean, heck my news station basically says to never use ATMs because some jerk could be hiding in the bushes with binoculars looking at my credit card number (not really, but some of those segments have some really far-fetched stuff.) To be honest, if you followed ALL the advice on TV, you'd live in a tree house out in the country without the bother of cancer causing electronics. A really secure tree house... so bears can't get in.
I just kept this from your post. That first one is what they said on the news, so I think you are right.
The second is what we do when we go camping. If you leave stuff on the ground, the bears will get it, and mess things up looking for more. One problem left. I don't trust the IRS any more than I do a hungry wolf. They don't come after you alone, either.
Still, I like to write and want to try. I don't think I am good enough to make much anyway, but it is fun. Some folks from India came by. Can you imagine? I got people in India who read my hub.
As far as something on the internet being the name or nature of the game, I like to do business face to face with people I know. Around here, we don't need the internet. President Obama said to go on the internet and be creative. Work around here is kind of scarce. I'm not afraid to take a chance, but I don't want to be a fool.
Now I'm trying to figure out who you really are.
Damn, your right, I got curried away at the silliness.
Yeah, I got a little twitch of... WTF? on that first response, but, being the polite sort, I decided to pull back the sarcastic reply and be nice in case it was straight up. But now I'm like, No possible way. Those responses, and that t-shirt? LOL. Not even. So, it becomes a matter of figuring out who. It could be Graudins. Or maybe even Knowles. But those seem too obvious.
I'm an expert who makes mistakes as all do -
I'm not sure what part of this common sense, simplistic statement seems to rise well above your ability to comprehend simple English language nor is an explanation of obvious shortcomings important to me -
Only those who have the qualifications to "Call Me" on my mistakes gain my respect - There are hardly any individuals in here who carry those credentials -
Attention? My initial comment was a simple "Heads Up" and suggestion to HP Staff - Nothing more, nothing less -
Then, without warning, I was subjected to a pre-meditated attack by a gaggle of horrendously under prepared zombies who invaded this space I suspect for ulterior motives-
'Then, without warning, I was subjected to a pre-meditated attack by a gaggle of horrendously under prepared zombies who invaded this space, I suspect for ulterior motives'
Are you sure that you want to use 'gaggle' and 'zombie' in that way?
I mean 'gaggle' refers to geese and a 'gaggle of geese' is extraordinarily well coordinated. The gander walks, the geese walk, the gander thrusts out its neck in a threat gesture, the geese do the same.
Zombies are usually depicted as chaotic, leaderless aggregations.
Geese are loud and zombies not so much.
I wouldn't say anything like this to an ordinary poster because mostly people post for fun or to vent in some harmless way. You, however, are clearly a man who takes the art of writing seriously.
I am sure you are aware that use of images, metaphors, similes and even colors is something to be given great thought. They should be consistent with your writing purpose.
Does 'gaggle of zombies' really work?
What if you had a gaggle of zombie geese? Then you'd surely be okay, and from that, you could set a precedent for just regular zombies.
I'm sure this is a typo. Clearly they meant "gaggling."
You're probably right Will A. Big Guy,
I really should refrain from creative writing in this venue, for I realize now, it will never be appreciated by this crowd, unlike elsewhere -
It's to be expected though, I realize I'm amongst the semi-living who honestly believe slapping together a few brief paragraphs containing 8th grade language, accompanied by a couple raw cell phone images is the way to assemble a proper hub - So be it, you can continue on your path toward delusional greatness, and I will remain headed in the exact opposite direction -
P>S> When you're in a place loaded with frail, "Easy Take Down" quasi mumified zombies & zombettes who still think the word "Sphincter" is funny, well what can I say -
Hopefully, someday you will become enlightened, and miraculously learn the difference between the two -
He already knows, he is a superior writer...
Shades is one of the best writers I have read on here, or anywhere. I don't say that in some friend grubbing crap in order to curry favor - I say it because it's true.
It is laughable for anyone to advise him on matters of writing.
I owed you already. I know it sounds a bit, well creepy I suppose - which is why I don't do a lot of supportive.
Thing is Shades - that you showed me the way here with your combination of beautiful funny writing, savage comment and excellent illustrations.
I gave up trying to copy / match it and went my own way - but your work illustrates in all ways that writing does not have to be... how should I put this... utilitarian.
I know a few big words (like prodigious and antidisestablishmentarianism), but it's past my bedtime, so I'm too tired to really think. (I apologize in advance for misplaced commas, terribad grammar, and made-up words.)
Anyhow, I'm not a fan of weird word gaps due to images being offset and whatnot, but I've found that if you add enough words to each section, you can kind of prevent against future weird gaps (you later decide to use a different sized image, HubPages makes a layout change, etc.) Not that my hubs are pretty, but I didn't experience problems when HubPages made the change. In light of this, maybe there are some changes you can make in the way you layout your hub to prevent an issue.
I haven't seen any of your hubs before or after the change, but was there something specific that was an issue?
This is some kind of wacky kauffmannesuqe shtick ... right?
I love it, intentional or not.
A sentence from Dickens (Barnaby Rudge) for comparison:
There he sat, watching his wife as she decorated the room with flowers for the greater honour of Dolly and Joseph Willet, who had gone out walking, and for whom the tea-kettle had been singing gaily on the hob full twenty minutes, chirping as never kettle chirped before; for whom the best service of real undoubted china, patterned with divers round-faced mandarins holding up broad umbrellas, was now displayed in all its glory; to tempt whose appetites a clear, transparent, juicy ham, garnished with cool green lettuce-leaves and fragrant cucumber, reposed upon a shady table, covered with a snow-white cloth; for whose delight, preserves and jams, crisp cakes and other pastry, short to eat, with cunning twists, and cottage loaves, and rolls of bread both white and brown, were all set forth in rich profusion; in whose youth Mrs V. herself had grown quite young, and stood there in a gown of red and white: symmetrical in figure, buxom in bodice, ruddy in cheek and lip, faultless in ankle, laughing in face and mood, in all respects delicious to behold — there sat the locksmith among all and every these delights, the sun that shone upon them all: the centre of the system: the source of light, heat, life, and frank enjoyment in the bright household world.
Personally I would say that was prolix, without being beautiful but it does have some energy.
Also, I like the 'faultless in ankle'. That would have sent a little quiver through his male readers and had the females carefully examining their own.
LOL, thanks for reminding me why I can never read Dickens without wanting to throw the book across the room.
I like to read Dickens. But I doubt he would have much success if he was writing online these days. He was a man of his times and would most definitely have written differently had he been alive today.
This forum desrves a taste of the real Dickens (when he forgot about the deadline for his next serial publication). Unfortunately, I am presently so drunk, it won't be me who delivers it. Not for several hours anyway,
Think The Beadle, Mr Micawber, Fagin. Miss Haversham and and and, the rest. Until, I am quite myself.
While fiction is a matter of taste, I have to defend Dickens here. Yes, this particular style doesn't work for modern readers well, particularly those who aren't fans of the literary canon, etc., but there is a HUGE difference with what's he's done there and what the OP has in it. This bit from Dickens is story telling, the OP is just mindnumbing obfuscation.
Your passage has the introduction of four characters, the layout of a scene; the description of a meal which creates a sense of place, time and social class; the description of clothing with the same function; a bit of personal history for the hostess which includes the revelation that she was pretty and reasonably well funded in her youth (which is a vital detail about a woman in England at this time); the establishment of the head of the household and his role as a social figure not only simply revealed, but revealed in a way that includes a description of the weather at the time.
THAT is not prolix, that is efficiency in narrative in the extreme. It is masterful storytelling with sublime execution, but that, granted, would be more appreciated in a time and culture wherein reading was a valued pastime (without TV, Movies, Video games, radio, etc. to compete). In context, those people enjoyed plopping down and taking their time with a story, often several times at least. Many still do today. I absolutely do. Though I like light, quick styles too.
The OP, on the other hand, does not ad new layers to his message with every word and each new sentence; instead he goes over the same idea in the most round about way language allows, expands on the same idea, aggrandizes and grandstands as he does it, and the diction he employs does not add any complexity or nuance, but simply prolongs the writing. Huge, huge difference in my opinion. It makes me shudder to see the two compared. It's like saying Justin Bieber is a singer in the same way Luciano Pavarotti was. (Although at least Bieber can sing... so maybe it's like comparing a McDonald's happy meal to Pavarotti.)
I think most of us understand the distinction between all authors, the unique characteristics and components which inherently separate all writers, that's acknowledged and accepted as common sense fact - If your preference is the cookie cutter method, exclusively utilizing simplistic, uninspiring, mundane, mechanical basics, that's your choice, more power to you, and best of luck -
I'm unique, as are you, and everyone else who participates in the literary arts - On the other hand, we as individuals, also adhere to our own set of working publishing standards, which is of course another defining factor in the overall scheme -
But that aside, I have this burning inner desire to ask the following question, what happened to the "Rule" of "Brevity" everyone seems to be religiously espousing?
All of a sudden, long winded, self indulgent, judgmental, fundamentally flawed analysis such as yours is encouraged? -
Or, let's just see how sincere all this banter has been while we witness a good, stiff "Chastising" for the publishing of such an audaciously lengthy entry -
Sooo, Alternative Prime...
To address the last part of your reply: There is a huge difference between a lengthy post and a ponderous effusion of words. To illustrate, I took the liberty of marking all the redundancies in the first part of your post in red and the superfluities in blue. Bolded words and phrases are the main ideas from which the red arise, and show where apposition fails to provide anything new or nuanced. When nearly every sentence has to be constructed in that manner, it suggests that the first choice was not effective and required restatement rather than augmentation. Or it suggests you think your readers are too dim to know what you meant the first time. If that's the case, then you aren't really writing to your audience, and it's all just pseudo-pedantry, which until I met you, I didn't even know existed.
Ok, here we go. Everything in blue or red can be dropped without losing meaning:
So, while I would actually give you a few adjectives back for modification of "cookie cutter method," I'd still say you need less than four, and not so many nearly synonymous ones. Find the right one and you don't have to keep trying to triangulate (quadrangulate?) to the point. Woulda been better to just dump "cookie cutter" and go with what you really meant, stronger language that way, but this is the internet, so, I totally get a bit of wordiness. Who wants to edit everything on a forum?
As for the blue stuff, particularly the "on the other hand," the "also" and maybe even the "working," I think that happens to you because you are so busy trying to sound fancy that you lose track of your idea. That's how you end up with stuff that doesn't make any sense and then people give you grief in forums.
Shadesbreath, I truly needed this for a laugh - You are a precious forum commodity and a brilliant mind in your own - Please don't change -
But unfortunately, I have not the spare time nor motivation to debate such meaningless, petty semantics -
Let's just say you have your style and I mine, and forever shall they never converge -
I knew all along this "Flock of Seagulls" swooping down upon the cranium of your truly's had absolutely nothing to do with comment length, or language, or anything else of educational value since not a soul hath chastised you, nor any other for having the audacity to create the same text enriched entry in kind -
It was a pre-meditated event launched primarily out of fear, jealousy, and my outspoken political affiliation -
Yes it's true, I'm a R O A R I N G Democrat who is primarily interested in protecting our senior citizens, the middle class, and our precious students from the greed driven wrath of the Romneys et al unethical, possibly criminal bamboozlers - Some Tea Bagging Reps around here simply cannot accept the reality of my allegiance to said party and the 99% -
I even get lame comments on my politically oriented articles - But it's all good, I have fun with it - Carry on with your self indulgent exercise to protect us from the evils of the literary world and P>S> there are a few RE-WRITES in your comment above which should be attended to -
I thought it should have been 'advice' too. You 'advise' someone, but you give 'advice'.
Seriously! Lol - I was expecting it was a British or Canadian variant. But, if you are seeing it as a misuse also then nothing can be done ...
get the tar !
and my apologies, Tussin , it seems the harpoon IS in order
You are absolutely correct IzzyM, my apologies -
It happens to everyone -
Put 'sh' in front of your closing line above, AP, and I think we may have at last established an area of common ground. Possibly even a line which for clarity, purity and effectiveness could have replaced at least 90% of what you felt so compelled to expound upon in your initial post...
"Common Ground"? Here???? --->?<---
Now that's a little Frightening, or more like slightly Horrifying -
I need to change that perception ASAP -
Where within my words did you find that "Common Ground" thing may I ask? -
Up to now, I thought your problem was simply an inability to express yourself clearly. A disability obvious to all but yourself. But now I realise you also lack the ability to comprehend. If you can't follow the link in my comment, connected as it is directly to the one to which it refers, you're beyond help. As to your arrogant rebuttal, forget my attempt an holding out an olive branch. Instead, just turn around, bend over and allow me to place it in a more appropriate location.
"bend over and allow me to place it in a more appropriate location."
Where? Like a "sphincter"?
No seriously writeronline, I recognize your word play now -
Unfortunately, when trying to digest all the text flying around here pre-programmed to maintain a precise trajectory, mainly contributions submitted by a gaggle of ancient "Dickens Fans" aka "ZOMBIEs", it's quite easy to get lost in the moment while neglecting a few witty morsels here and there -
I am a freelance zombie and have no particular zombie affiliation here. I wasn't invited to any zombie conspiracy or privy to any zombie conspiracy. Of course, I know that it could be easily reasoned that any zombie claiming to NOT be part of the zombie conspiracy would just say that, to avoid detection, or as part of some deflection tactic. Nevertheless I would be willing to take a lie detector test, on my zombie unaffiliated-ness.
Yes, you are correct PhoenixV, I suspect that's what all "Bona Fide" zombies would say to conceal true identity - But you must be compelled to prove your innocence -
That half eaten human shin bone protruding from your lips will be immediately sanitized, scrubbed, and washed cleaner than Mitt Romney's foreign stash of unethically gotten cash, then submitted as exhibit "A" in the file of corroborating circumstantial evidence - However, the following questions will definitively prove or disprove "Zombification Affiliation -
A) Do you think the antiquated use of the word "schpincter is funny? (Yes, I know, wrong spelling for all you "Real" zombies) -
B) Are you now, or have you ever been a "Dickens" follower, fan, sympathizer like "Old Timers" Will A, Shadesbreath, etc.?
The truth shall soon be known -
Oh, my-still with the 'pre-meditated' bs, AP! Okay, well now it has become such.
PS: What's up with the dashes? Just curious.
I have a longstanding fetish with the "-" key, so for some inexplicable, deeply seeded psychological reason, I leave my finger on it even when not typing -
I also have mild seasonal allergies, so every time I sneeze, an unforeseen bodily event which usually occurs as a direct result of the cooling sea breeze transporting negligible Earth particles into my home, the abrupt force causes the digit to automatically and uncontrollably, depress the "-" key -
It's just a little twitchy thing that I decided to keep -
Wait, let me guess - That bothers you too?
Come on "Big Guy" Will Apse -
Why on this balmy blue Earth would I give up or compromise my values and creative conviction to satisfy anyone in here? Or anywhere else? - I'm not painfully aged yet, but very experienced in what I do best - All my associates, clients, etc recognize and appreciate my talents - That's really all that matters -
What happens in here is just meaningless, playful banter to build up entertaining dialogue for readers, just like all chat rooms - Nothing more, nothing less -
It's clearly obvious, I maintain a completely different set of lofty standards by which I Create, Write, & Publish verses the small group of quasi eloquent entertainers present in this forum who find great inner joy in "Swarming" the fields like pesky little green locusts, searching endlessly for tiny morsels of delectable sustenance capped off with a snippet of free publicity for respective articles -
There's nothing wrong with that, I would never even contemplate changing my fundamental artistic related beliefs and fine tuned methods of innovative thinking just to conveniently appease a small group of individuals in a chat forum, individuals whom I don't even know - The senseless banter actually has the opposite effect by strengthening my conviction - Nor do expect them to follow my lead, nor am I trying to persuade anyone to do so -
We used to be writers. Then bloggers. Then content experts. Then online publishers. Then social media markers, SE optimizers, backlinkers, video producers and Panda survivors.
As the craft of writing has migrated online, the process has necessitated the development of new technical skills.
Which has created a new survival of the fittest competition.
Surely in this ongoing Internet publishing evolution, there must be (or will soon be) a new job title and a burgeoining niche market for "format tweakers." I envision this job as sort of like modern-day proofreaders. But their focus is not on how your online articles read, but how they look.
I can honestly see how reformatting hundreds of hubs could be time-consuming. Not to mention above the pay grade of those of us who are just beginning to "get" the whole capsule thing.
Wondering if there are people (hubbers or others) who will perform this service for a reasonable fee. (?)
I agree Mighty Mom. As far as the internet It has been best of times, and it has been the worst of times, it's been the age of wisdom, it's been an age of foolishness, it's been the epoch of belief, it's been the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of PANDA, it was the season of Penguin, it was the internet of hope, but become the internet of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to SEO heaven, nay, we were all going directly the other way. In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest SEO experts insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. Personally, my calendar is filled due to pressing engagements with high profile acquaintances I am not at liberty to mention. But being amicable and always willing to help, I can offer my services for 50 thousand dollars a hub.
Aargh. You edited out my favorite phrase: "this 3 ring charade."
Ooops, sorry - no, not edited out. Possibly moved, but more likely a faulty memory on my part (thinking it was in the second of the two previous posts).
I genuinely like it. There is something quite endearing about it.
Not intending to cross swords with you at all here. Bowing out now.
Have not a fear, as your entrance is welcome - A gentle, soothing moment of sincerity & warnth generously placed amidst this troubled scene is embraced & appreciated -
Just relax, take big deep breaths in and out, slowly allow your inhibitions and prejudice tendencies to subside for a brief moment, and then expel them from your being completely -
Accept the truth and honesty from within as you have, and you will surely find the more you get to know me, engage me, & understand me and my deeply embedded, yet highly camouflaged psychological Strengths & Weaknesses, the more "Endearing" & "Irresistibly Alluring" I become -
I promise -
Soon, all these pretentious, viciously mischievous zombies will have no choice but to retreat, as they resolve to realize & accept the same -
Who knew this thread could actually turn into something fun?
Thank you, ALL, for the absolutely MOST entertaining thread I have come across in some time!
Okay, everyone. I'm all ready for the Zombie-Geese-Yoga class. Where do I sign up?
Breathing in - breathing out - accepting the inner AP - expelling inhibitions and prejudices - Ohhhhhmmmmmmmm
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Hello Hubbers. We are very excited to announce a week long challenge. Check out our Blog post for more information! Good luck!
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I have had a few poems receive non-featured status. I've been able to revive them by adding a couple of text paragraphs to expound on the topic of the poem while maintaining the integrity of the poem. It lengthens the hub, extending its survival, and therefore, making it more searchable. I've also...
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|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|