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A bitter and cold co existance.

  1. profile image0
    epsonok0posted 3 years ago

    Recently I have had, on two occasions, rather bitter fights with other hubbers. It got me thinking later about our "community" and my role within it.
    I understand that I am a writer, so is everyone else here. But I cant help but think that, this is what binds us all together. After all we are human. So my question for everyone is this. What do you think of a bitter forum or hub comment fight? And when it happens, do you just try to move on and get along with the hubber(s). Or do you try to avoid them. I hold no real grudge against those that I argue with. But I can not help but feel that it sets the tone for a lot of bad assumptions regarding me, from those hubbers and witnesses.
    What are your thoughts.

    1. profile image0
      epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I am not encouraging anyone to do any of the following.
      1. Going to my page and looking up these incidents.
      2. Bringing up points from those arguments.
      Or for anyone to bring up their own arguments as a link and or hashing things out from past arguments that they have had.

    2. wilderness profile image94
      wildernessposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      If you think that participating in a flame war online will make you look bad or harm your reputation, don't do it.  For any such nastiness to occur it always takes at least two people.

      1. relache profile image88
        relacheposted 3 years agoin reply to this

        In a nutshell.

    3. psycheskinner profile image80
      psycheskinnerposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      This is the internet.  It is full of trolls.  The trick is to not feed them and not be them. If you do that everything will work out fine.

    4. Marisa Wright profile image95
      Marisa Wrightposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      The best way is not to get into the fight in the first place.

      As psycheskinner says, if a troll insults you, never respond with an insult.  Ideally, don't reply at all - but if you can't resist, be calm, logical and polite.   If they don't get a rise out of you, they'll eventually give up and go and bother someone else.

      It is always unsettling when someone is nasty to you but you will get over it and get back to enjoying the forums.

    5. rebekahELLE profile image89
      rebekahELLEposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      If this were true, it would be a much different forum experience.  Forums are notoriously full of trolls and people who don't work, so they 'write'.  There's a big difference.

      I can see why forums attract people, but they can be a huge waste of time and life.

  2. Will Apse profile image90
    Will Apseposted 3 years ago

    One great technique is to be a goody two-shoes and bore your enemies to death. Honestly, some  people here have had me in tears with this simple but effective approach.

    1. Marisa Wright profile image95
      Marisa Wrightposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Yes it's very effective isn't it. smile

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        lol

    2. Will Apse profile image90
      Will Apseposted 3 years ago

      One of the little ironies of this discussion, is that Marisa is one of the main reasons I gave up trying to be helpful to the newbies. A couple of years back, as soon as I said anything, she would come along and flatly contradict it.

      For example, whenever I tried to point out the dangers of affiliate links she would immediately advise people that these kind of links were no problem. How many subs got hit by manual spam penalties as a direct result of her advice?

      Nowadays, she admits that she makes no money here but is more than happy to hand out advice (on how not to make money?).

      Is it any wonder I have such a low opinion of 'experts'? Or refrain from getting too involved. Or complain that the goody two-shoes (with elephant hide skins) are as much of a menace as out and out trolls?

      1. Writer Fox profile image76
        Writer Foxposted 3 years agoin reply to this

        So, you're not helpful to people and that's Marisa's fault?  It's amazing that someone, whom you have never met, has such control over your personality and social functioning:
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder

      2. Marisa Wright profile image95
        Marisa Wrightposted 3 years agoin reply to this

        So, would you like to give me some references to prove that affiliate links are a problem?

        I can give you links to Matt Cutts of Google saying affiliate links are not a problem.  I can give you references where Google says excessive affiliate links are a problem.   There's a very important difference and I'm sure that's what I would have pointed out in correcting you. 

        Bear in mind that I also have blogs which do make money from affiliate links.

        1. Will Apse profile image90
          Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          But none of your pages here make any money?

          And I imagine the takings on your own sites are in single figures. But still you will keep coming back and back and handing out 'advice'.

          How could anyone with a conscience do it? You do realize that for some people this is not a hobby? They feed their families with the money (or hope to). If you are going to hand even the smallest amount of advice be sure you know what you are talking about.

          Most of all don't pretend that you have a clue about affiliate links. Ignorance in that area probably harmed this site (and Squidoo) more than any other single factor.

          1. Marisa Wright profile image95
            Marisa Wrightposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            I make payout here comfortably every month, thank you - which is not bad for Hubs which haven't been touched in a long time.   And my sites make more money than my Hubs so they are certainly not in single figures.

            As for affiliate links - so what you're saying is that HubPages doesn't know what it's talking about either?  (I do wonder sometimes, but not when it comes to affiliate links).   HubPages allows affiliate links in moderation, which is what I advocate.  If you think that's not OK, then you are calling into question HubPages' whole monetizing model.   

            And by the way, when HubPages changed its rules about the number of affiliate capsules, I was NOT one of those people who had to go back and revise Hubs, because I never wrote 'sales Hubs'.  I think you're assuming I did.

    3. profile image0
      epsonok0posted 3 years ago

      Sometimes my anger burns so hard. I get red faced light up a smoke and consider some very vulger comments. After my HP ban I relearned and don't make direct attacks anymore. Now recently I did try the technical retort tachtic. That failed. I got to typing and got mad. So I think I will just shut my mouth when insulted and move along. You guys are right about those clever ways to starve a troll.

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        I usually enjoy trolls. Not always, but often. I think because I see what they're doing as a game. When there was a scrabble forum I drew them like moths to a flame, I don't know why, maybe cause I was very active in the forum? At first they vexed me big time. They came after me in my inbox constantly, I have more ppl on my block list on FB than friends. A lot of the ppl I blocked were most likely the same person. There was a Canadian stalker who made a youtube video of me and spammed the forum with it. He was a bit scary. Then there was an English troll that made it his mission to "destroy me". lol The Canadian troll sent the English troll the video he'd made and soon the English troll spammed the Coronation Street forum with the video. They would send me terrible pics of male body parts, say terrible things. Ugh, it was all high drama till I learned to laugh at them. I didn't take anything they said seriously anymore. The crueler they got, the more I would joke. It really seemed to take the sting out of their bites. I haven't seen any of your disagreements with anyone as I don't click on every thread, but when dealing with trolls, just do your best not to take their words to heart and to understand that it's a game to them. They are looking for a victim. Don't be one.

        1. Will Apse profile image90
          Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          Lol. You took part in a Coronation Street forum? I mean the 'Corrie' with Hilda Ogden and Stan, and Ethel the Barmaid?

          You are a woman of parts.

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            A woman of parts... lol.. I have no idea what that means.
            Oh yes, I was quite famous on Corrie, or maybe infamous is a better word for it. lol

            1. profile image0
              epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

              I know its like "beth may need some assembly if required" oh man you guys crack me up.

              1. profile image0
                Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                I kind of assumed it meant different parts of the world... like you get around? Maybe we should google.

        2. ChristinS profile image94
          ChristinSposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          Yikes, making a youtube video and distributing it I think crosses the line from troll to cyber stalker though perhaps.  There are "mean spirited" trolls and then there are dangerous, deranged people - sometimes that line gets blurred.  I have been a previous target of a deranged person in the "real world" and so I am very leery of certain behaviors even online.

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            This guy crossed that line for sure. He said he wanted to "die slowly with me" and "box me" etc etc... He came back with all sorts of identities, even as women, but I always knew it was him.

            1. profile image0
              epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

              Box you up? oh god! That is some sick stuff.

              1. profile image0
                Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                He said he had been abducted by aliens when he was 10 and that they conducted experiments on him. I have an issue with thinking we're all basically alike... I don't know any one like him. I should be a bit more guarded.

        3. Muttface profile image90
          Muttfaceposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          All this over a game of Scrabble???

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            lol... and possibly a loose screw?

    4. cheaptrick profile image74
      cheaptrickposted 3 years ago

      What do you do
      When your all fresh and new
      And some bad troll decides they want you

      You try to be nice
      But the troll's hard as ice
      So you look to your friends for advice

      Don't feed the trolls
      Cause they're just big butt holes
      With no life and ridicules  goals

      The best thing you see
      To remove trolls like me
      Is ignore us and just let us be

      Because if you reply
      We might blacken your eye
      So be silent and we'll leave by and by

                    by by smile

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        *bye *bye

        1. cheaptrick profile image74
          cheaptrickposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          See,ya just had ta reply
          But since your a lady
          And I'm not that shady
          I'll just let this go with a sigh................Sighhhhhh

                        Bye*Bye(thanks for the spell check)

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            *you're

            You're welcome. smile

            1. cheaptrick profile image74
              cheaptrickposted 3 years agoin reply to this

              OK, so now you know my secret...I'm a baaad speller...and by the look of it...not to good with grammar either...thanks to you I now understand why my author score has tanked...a silver lining...

              (((Ya think we might could keep this between you and me?Wouldn't want to demean my sparkling reputation now)))

              1. profile image0
                Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                It will be our little secret. smile

      2. profile image0
        epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        actualy your poem and the phrase by by at the end have some erie similarities to other happenings elsewhere. But its ok, be well right?

        1. cheaptrick profile image74
          cheaptrickposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          Yikes!..now I'm curious.Please enlighten me cause that's a scary reply...I mean,I'm a nut job but I'm no troll...my nose isn't gnarly and big enough...though I Do have toe knuckle hair...

          1. profile image0
            epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Others have used the phrase by by and be well. But its not like a ton of people.

    5. LeanMan profile image83
      LeanManposted 3 years ago

      "When you argue with a fool no one can tell you apart!"

      Have a nice day!! lol..

      I enjoy the arguments in the forums, they are usually good for a laugh and sometimes actually drag out some useful information as people struggle to prove their point!

      It is rare that people actually really insult one another or get very personal, although some people get upset over "insults" and "perceived slights" that most people would not even have noticed. Some others also try to get very clever with their insults and with attempts at humour and this is often taken the wrong way by people with less active senses of humour. Others refuse to have anyone say they are wrong, even when they are or if it is impossible to say one way or another who is actually correct (does god really exist and is she a moderator on HP?)

      But in general I stay out of the arguments, not because I don't have an opinion but because I don't care whether people think my opinion is right or wrong - its my opinion and I am secure in what I think. I don't feel the need to defend myself, nor do I feel insulted or upset if people have an opposing view point. This world would be very boring if we all thought the same.

      People will always fight, people will always band together (we are tribal by nature) and there will never be harmony. Just learn to get over it!! If you can't take it, don't get involved - very simple!

      Don't start crying if one of the other kids in the playground calls you a nerd or says your English essay was the worst in class! Don't cry if they say their favorite band is better than yours! Don't go running home to mummy if you join a fight and your nose gets bloodied - stay out of it!

      I don't feel the need to get involved in a competition to see whose god can pee the highest up the wall in the urinals, nor do I care if someone has opposing views as to what works for SEO and what does not not..

      Until recently if you were to google my username one of the top results was "leanman is wrong" from the forums here (an argument about Rottweiler dogs, if memory serves, who someone claimed were evil - but my baby was sweet and loveable...) I did not bother to defend my opinion or to get into a match with the person who decided to pick me out of all the other posters to attack, I made my comment, gave my point of view, and that was enough. You don't like it that is your problem not mine! Nor did I report the poster as "making a personal attack!"

      If someone tells me my hubs are crap and why; thanks - i like criticism, I would never learn without it! If they tell me they are crap and not why they can go, as one immortal hubber put it, "Duck Cough."

      No one is perfect, we all have our flaws. Sometimes you have to forgive people their flaws. (However you should also lock up and ban the real crazies!!)

      Meanwhile, I end my day on here with a smile and a laugh and really don't care what people say....

      1. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        That was really long. Does it bother you that I think it was too long?

        1. LeanMan profile image83
          LeanManposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          I really feel the need to defend my length now, i could have cut a bit off but that would have been painful. But some girls like it that long....

          1. profile image0
            epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            oh dear. The imagination mechanisms are spinning gears for a clever retort. LOL thank you for your lengthy... reply.

            1. LeanMan profile image83
              LeanManposted 3 years agoin reply to this

              There was something clever about what I wrote? Never been accused of cleverness before! lol

              Never let what other people say or think ruin your day, nor let a bad day cause you to ruin another's day....

              1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
                Rochelle Frankposted 3 years agoin reply to this

                That is a thought  that should be frequent and recurring. +1

                1. profile image0
                  Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                  Don't give him a +1... what he needs is a conk on the head. (Let's hope he can't figure out what to do with that one.)

                  1. profile image0
                    epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                    wait to go Beth! Now there is going to be 50 hubs about concussions.

                  2. LeanMan profile image83
                    LeanManposted 3 years agoin reply to this

                    I agree Beth, you are so right.. I don't know how anyone could every disagree with you - ever!!
                    I do need a good blow......... (to the head obviously!)

                    1. profile image0
                      epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                      obviously.

          2. profile image0
            epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            I did a google search. What a strange set of results. LOL and the image search was weirder. Were all three of those pics actualy you? One where there is a sunset sky backdrop, one on a red couch and of course your hub profile.

            1. LeanMan profile image83
              LeanManposted 3 years agoin reply to this

              Sunset (Jeddah by the red sea) and profile yes - red couch no.. the muscle men, that is my body but they have used someone else's face, damn that Photoshop!!

              One of the other "leanman" results has actually tried to insist that I desist from using the name and threatened legal action! Tough tittie, I am still here............

    6. melbel profile image94
      melbelposted 3 years ago

      I avoid situations that could potentially become hurtful to myself or others. Sometimes people say things I don't agree with, but I find no reason to get into a battle with someone on the Internet.

      1. Will Apse profile image90
        Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

        Leaving people to do harm is not always the most responsible thing to do.

        Did I just use the word responsible? lol.

    7. profile image0
      Beth37posted 3 years ago

      So Will... how's your day?

      1. Will Apse profile image90
        Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

        It is one of those days when I feel like boxing a miscreant.

        Apart from that fine. How is your night?

        1. profile image0
          Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

          Good... just using you to get out of an uncomfortable conversation. You don't mind, Im sure.

          1. Will Apse profile image90
            Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            How you been teasing people, again?

            1. profile image0
              Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

              No, Ive been very good!

              1. Will Apse profile image90
                Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

                Okay, I see now. You have been playing Mom with everyone again.

                One day you will pick up a tentacled one that you cannot shake...

                1. profile image0
                  Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                  I think you and Leanman are reading out the same euphemism book.

    8. Will Apse profile image90
      Will Apseposted 3 years ago

      Reading previous posts prompted me to run an image search of your profile pic.

      It gave me this:

      https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-ash4/211436_673175432_1374901023_q.jpg


      Is that an alter ego?

      1. profile image0
        epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        dang that is scarey!

        1. Will Apse profile image90
          Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          She tried to bite my desktop.

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Again with the book.

      2. profile image0
        Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        I cant really see the pic very well. Does she look as scary full size as she does miniaturized? I haven't ever seen that pic I don't believe. It's not me. (I have eyebrows for one thing. lol)

        1. Will Apse profile image90
          Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          Strangely enough I can't get the URL to take me anywhere. And I cannot copy and paste it either.

          When I tried to make a note of it the old fashioned way, with a fountain pen, it turned into a snake and slid away.

          I think we might have stumbled onto a demonurl.

          .....It is so hard typing anything when one's head is revolving.

          1. profile image0
            Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            lol... keep a towel nearby for when she starts spewing pea soup.

            Why are you googling my pic? I don't think it's very popular outside of my living room.

            1. Will Apse profile image90
              Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

              I am just another sucker.

              1. profile image0
                Beth37posted 3 years agoin reply to this

                You always confuse me, but I enjoy it so no worries.

      3. profile image0
        epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

        http://gloryphoto.biz/img/s2/v58/p1142234954-2.jpg We get this from yours will. LOL

        1. Will Apse profile image90
          Will Apseposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          I think I might let her bite my desktop, lol.

          1. profile image0
            epsonok0posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            LOL you guys crack me up. Im telling you. Start a comedy routine. Will and Beth. or I bethanantly will.

     
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