A bitter and cold co existance.

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   epsonok0posted 9 years ago

   Recently I have had, on two occasions, rather bitter fights with other hubbers. It got me thinking later about our "community" and my role within it.
   I understand that I am a writer, so is everyone else here. But I cant help but think that, this is what binds us all together. After all we are human. So my question for everyone is this. What do you think of a bitter forum or hub comment fight? And when it happens, do you just try to move on and get along with the hubber(s). Or do you try to avoid them. I hold no real grudge against those that I argue with. But I can not help but feel that it sets the tone for a lot of bad assumptions regarding me, from those hubbers and witnesses.
   What are your thoughts.

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      epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am not encouraging anyone to do any of the following.
      1. Going to my page and looking up these incidents.
      2. Bringing up points from those arguments.
      Or for anyone to bring up their own arguments as a link and or hashing things out from past arguments that they have had.

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      wildernessposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If you think that participating in a flame war online will make you look bad or harm your reputation, don't do it.  For any such nastiness to occur it always takes at least two people.

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         relacheposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         In a nutshell.

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      psycheskinnerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      This is the internet.  It is full of trolls.  The trick is to not feed them and not be them. If you do that everything will work out fine.

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      Marisa Wrightposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      The best way is not to get into the fight in the first place.
      
      As psycheskinner says, if a troll insults you, never respond with an insult.  Ideally, don't reply at all - but if you can't resist, be calm, logical and polite.   If they don't get a rise out of you, they'll eventually give up and go and bother someone else.
      
      It is always unsettling when someone is nasty to you but you will get over it and get back to enjoying the forums.

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      rebekahELLEposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If this were true, it would be a much different forum experience.  Forums are notoriously full of trolls and people who don't work, so they 'write'.  There's a big difference.
      
      I can see why forums attract people, but they can be a huge waste of time and life.

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   Will Apseposted 9 years ago

   One great technique is to be a goody two-shoes and bore your enemies to death. Honestly, some  people here have had me in tears with this simple but effective approach.

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      Marisa Wrightposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes it's very effective isn't it.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      lol

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   Will Apseposted 9 years ago

   One of the little ironies of this discussion, is that Marisa is one of the main reasons I gave up trying to be helpful to the newbies. A couple of years back, as soon as I said anything, she would come along and flatly contradict it.
   
   For example, whenever I tried to point out the dangers of affiliate links she would immediately advise people that these kind of links were no problem. How many subs got hit by manual spam penalties as a direct result of her advice?
   
   Nowadays, she admits that she makes no money here but is more than happy to hand out advice (on how not to make money?).
   
   Is it any wonder I have such a low opinion of 'experts'? Or refrain from getting too involved. Or complain that the goody two-shoes (with elephant hide skins) are as much of a menace as out and out trolls?

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      Writer Foxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So, you're not helpful to people and that's Marisa's fault?  It's amazing that someone, whom you have never met, has such control over your personality and social functioning:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder

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      Marisa Wrightposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So, would you like to give me some references to prove that affiliate links are a problem?
      
      I can give you links to Matt Cutts of Google saying affiliate links are not a problem.  I can give you references where Google says excessive affiliate links are a problem.   There's a very important difference and I'm sure that's what I would have pointed out in correcting you. 
      
      Bear in mind that I also have blogs which do make money from affiliate links.

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         Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         But none of your pages here make any money?
         
         And I imagine the takings on your own sites are in single figures. But still you will keep coming back and back and handing out 'advice'.
         
         How could anyone with a conscience do it? You do realize that for some people this is not a hobby? They feed their families with the money (or hope to). If you are going to hand even the smallest amount of advice be sure you know what you are talking about.
         
         Most of all don't pretend that you have a clue about affiliate links. Ignorance in that area probably harmed this site (and Squidoo) more than any other single factor.

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            Marisa Wrightposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I make payout here comfortably every month, thank you - which is not bad for Hubs which haven't been touched in a long time.   And my sites make more money than my Hubs so they are certainly not in single figures.
            
            As for affiliate links - so what you're saying is that HubPages doesn't know what it's talking about either?  (I do wonder sometimes, but not when it comes to affiliate links).   HubPages allows affiliate links in moderation, which is what I advocate.  If you think that's not OK, then you are calling into question HubPages' whole monetizing model.   
            
            And by the way, when HubPages changed its rules about the number of affiliate capsules, I was NOT one of those people who had to go back and revise Hubs, because I never wrote 'sales Hubs'.  I think you're assuming I did.

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   epsonok0posted 9 years ago

   Sometimes my anger burns so hard. I get red faced light up a smoke and consider some very vulger comments. After my HP ban I relearned and don't make direct attacks anymore. Now recently I did try the technical retort tachtic. That failed. I got to typing and got mad. So I think I will just shut my mouth when insulted and move along. You guys are right about those clever ways to starve a troll.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I usually enjoy trolls. Not always, but often. I think because I see what they're doing as a game. When there was a scrabble forum I drew them like moths to a flame, I don't know why, maybe cause I was very active in the forum? At first they vexed me big time. They came after me in my inbox constantly, I have more ppl on my block list on FB than friends. A lot of the ppl I blocked were most likely the same person. There was a Canadian stalker who made a youtube video of me and spammed the forum with it. He was a bit scary. Then there was an English troll that made it his mission to "destroy me". lol The Canadian troll sent the English troll the video he'd made and soon the English troll spammed the Coronation Street forum with the video. They would send me terrible pics of male body parts, say terrible things. Ugh, it was all high drama till I learned to laugh at them. I didn't take anything they said seriously anymore. The crueler they got, the more I would joke. It really seemed to take the sting out of their bites. I haven't seen any of your disagreements with anyone as I don't click on every thread, but when dealing with trolls, just do your best not to take their words to heart and to understand that it's a game to them. They are looking for a victim. Don't be one.

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         Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Lol. You took part in a Coronation Street forum? I mean the 'Corrie' with Hilda Ogden and Stan, and Ethel the Barmaid?
         
         You are a woman of parts.

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            A woman of parts... lol.. I have no idea what that means.
            Oh yes, I was quite famous on Corrie, or maybe infamous is a better word for it. lol

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               epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I know its like "beth may need some assembly if required" oh man you guys crack me up.

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                  Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  I kind of assumed it meant different parts of the world... like you get around? Maybe we should google.

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         ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Yikes, making a youtube video and distributing it I think crosses the line from troll to cyber stalker though perhaps.  There are "mean spirited" trolls and then there are dangerous, deranged people - sometimes that line gets blurred.  I have been a previous target of a deranged person in the "real world" and so I am very leery of certain behaviors even online.

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            This guy crossed that line for sure. He said he wanted to "die slowly with me" and "box me" etc etc... He came back with all sorts of identities, even as women, but I always knew it was him.

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               epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Box you up? oh god! That is some sick stuff.

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                  Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  He said he had been abducted by aliens when he was 10 and that they conducted experiments on him. I have an issue with thinking we're all basically alike... I don't know any one like him. I should be a bit more guarded.

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         Muttfaceposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         All this over a game of Scrabble???

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            lol... and possibly a loose screw?

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   cheaptrickposted 9 years ago

   What do you do
   When your all fresh and new
   And some bad troll decides they want you
   
   You try to be nice
   But the troll's hard as ice
   So you look to your friends for advice
   
   Don't feed the trolls
   Cause they're just big butt holes
   With no life and ridicules  goals
   
   The best thing you see
   To remove trolls like me
   Is ignore us and just let us be
   
   Because if you reply
   We might blacken your eye
   So be silent and we'll leave by and by
   
                 by by

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      *bye *bye

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         cheaptrickposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         See,ya just had ta reply
         But since your a lady
         And I'm not that shady
         I'll just let this go with a sigh................Sighhhhhh
         
                       Bye*Bye(thanks for the spell check)

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            *you're
            
            You're welcome.

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               cheaptrickposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               OK, so now you know my secret...I'm a baaad speller...and by the look of it...not to good with grammar either...thanks to you I now understand why my author score has tanked...a silver lining...
               
               (((Ya think we might could keep this between you and me?Wouldn't want to demean my sparkling reputation now)))

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                  Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  It will be our little secret.

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      epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      actualy your poem and the phrase by by at the end have some erie similarities to other happenings elsewhere. But its ok, be well right?

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         cheaptrickposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Yikes!..now I'm curious.Please enlighten me cause that's a scary reply...I mean,I'm a nut job but I'm no troll...my nose isn't gnarly and big enough...though I Do have toe knuckle hair...

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            epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Others have used the phrase by by and be well. But its not like a ton of people.

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6. 82

   LeanManposted 9 years ago

   "When you argue with a fool no one can tell you apart!"
   
   Have a nice day!! lol..
   
   I enjoy the arguments in the forums, they are usually good for a laugh and sometimes actually drag out some useful information as people struggle to prove their point!
   
   It is rare that people actually really insult one another or get very personal, although some people get upset over "insults" and "perceived slights" that most people would not even have noticed. Some others also try to get very clever with their insults and with attempts at humour and this is often taken the wrong way by people with less active senses of humour. Others refuse to have anyone say they are wrong, even when they are or if it is impossible to say one way or another who is actually correct (does god really exist and is she a moderator on HP?)
   
   But in general I stay out of the arguments, not because I don't have an opinion but because I don't care whether people think my opinion is right or wrong - its my opinion and I am secure in what I think. I don't feel the need to defend myself, nor do I feel insulted or upset if people have an opposing view point. This world would be very boring if we all thought the same.
   
   People will always fight, people will always band together (we are tribal by nature) and there will never be harmony. Just learn to get over it!! If you can't take it, don't get involved - very simple!
   
   Don't start crying if one of the other kids in the playground calls you a nerd or says your English essay was the worst in class! Don't cry if they say their favorite band is better than yours! Don't go running home to mummy if you join a fight and your nose gets bloodied - stay out of it!
   
   I don't feel the need to get involved in a competition to see whose god can pee the highest up the wall in the urinals, nor do I care if someone has opposing views as to what works for SEO and what does not not..
   
   Until recently if you were to google my username one of the top results was "leanman is wrong" from the forums here (an argument about Rottweiler dogs, if memory serves, who someone claimed were evil - but my baby was sweet and loveable...) I did not bother to defend my opinion or to get into a match with the person who decided to pick me out of all the other posters to attack, I made my comment, gave my point of view, and that was enough. You don't like it that is your problem not mine! Nor did I report the poster as "making a personal attack!"
   
   If someone tells me my hubs are crap and why; thanks - i like criticism, I would never learn without it! If they tell me they are crap and not why they can go, as one immortal hubber put it, "Duck Cough."
   
   No one is perfect, we all have our flaws. Sometimes you have to forgive people their flaws. (However you should also lock up and ban the real crazies!!)
   
   Meanwhile, I end my day on here with a smile and a laugh and really don't care what people say....

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That was really long. Does it bother you that I think it was too long?

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         LeanManposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I really feel the need to defend my length now, i could have cut a bit off but that would have been painful. But some girls like it that long....

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            epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            oh dear. The imagination mechanisms are spinning gears for a clever retort. LOL thank you for your lengthy... reply.

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               LeanManposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               There was something clever about what I wrote? Never been accused of cleverness before! lol
               
               Never let what other people say or think ruin your day, nor let a bad day cause you to ruin another's day....

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                  Rochelle Frankposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  That is a thought  that should be frequent and recurring. +1

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                     Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     Don't give him a +1... what he needs is a conk on the head. (Let's hope he can't figure out what to do with that one.)

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                        epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                        wait to go Beth! Now there is going to be 50 hubs about concussions.

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                        LeanManposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                        I agree Beth, you are so right.. I don't know how anyone could every disagree with you - ever!!
                        I do need a good blow......... (to the head obviously!)

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                           epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                           obviously.

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            epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I did a google search. What a strange set of results. LOL and the image search was weirder. Were all three of those pics actualy you? One where there is a sunset sky backdrop, one on a red couch and of course your hub profile.

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               LeanManposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Sunset (Jeddah by the red sea) and profile yes - red couch no.. the muscle men, that is my body but they have used someone else's face, damn that Photoshop!!
               
               One of the other "leanman" results has actually tried to insist that I desist from using the name and threatened legal action! Tough tittie, I am still here............

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   melbelposted 9 years ago

   I avoid situations that could potentially become hurtful to myself or others. Sometimes people say things I don't agree with, but I find no reason to get into a battle with someone on the Internet.

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      Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Leaving people to do harm is not always the most responsible thing to do.
      
      Did I just use the word responsible? lol.

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   Beth37posted 9 years ago

   So Will... how's your day?

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      Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It is one of those days when I feel like boxing a miscreant.
      
      Apart from that fine. How is your night?

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         Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Good... just using you to get out of an uncomfortable conversation. You don't mind, Im sure.

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            Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            How you been teasing people, again?

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               Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               No, Ive been very good!

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                  Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  Okay, I see now. You have been playing Mom with everyone again.
                  
                  One day you will pick up a tentacled one that you cannot shake...

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                     Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     I think you and Leanman are reading out the same euphemism book.

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   Will Apseposted 9 years ago

   Reading previous posts prompted me to run an image search of your profile pic.
   
   It gave me this:
   
   
   
   
   Is that an alter ego?

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      epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      dang that is scarey!

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         Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         She tried to bite my desktop.

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Again with the book.

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      Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I cant really see the pic very well. Does she look as scary full size as she does miniaturized? I haven't ever seen that pic I don't believe. It's not me. (I have eyebrows for one thing. lol)

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         Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Strangely enough I can't get the URL to take me anywhere. And I cannot copy and paste it either.
         
         When I tried to make a note of it the old fashioned way, with a fountain pen, it turned into a snake and slid away.
         
         I think we might have stumbled onto a demonurl.
         
         .....It is so hard typing anything when one's head is revolving.

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            Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            lol... keep a towel nearby for when she starts spewing pea soup.
            
            Why are you googling my pic? I don't think it's very popular outside of my living room.

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               Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               I am just another sucker.

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                  Beth37posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  You always confuse me, but I enjoy it so no worries.

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      epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      We get this from yours will. LOL

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         Will Apseposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I think I might let her bite my desktop, lol.

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            epsonok0posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            LOL you guys crack me up. Im telling you. Start a comedy routine. Will and Beth. or I bethanantly will.

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