Have you ever "unfriended" someone here or elsewhere?

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   lorlie6posted 10 years ago

   I did this today, felt I had to.  Whatever the reasons, whether personal, ideological, sexual-oriented, political or just plain dislike, it was done, however I feel strange yet relieved-like I've betrayed that someone...

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      raymondphilippeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I think the reasons you summed up could be reason enough to unfriend somebody in real life and/or social media. Who needs the added aggrevation of getting annoyed by your "friends".

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      Cardisaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      For me HP is different from facebook. I follow people on Hubpgaes because I am interested in what they write. If that person stops writing about things I am interested in reading I stop following. I don't feel guilty about it. I also unfollow people that are rude and disrespectful. I have unfollowed people who have become inactive for long while like anywhere over six months. Makes no sense following them then.
      
      Facebook is another matter. I friend people I am interested to get to know them on a social level. Some of my FB friends I do not follow here on HP and vice verse. If I unfriend someone there it's for very good reason and I never allow myself t feel guilty about that either. I usually unfriend someone who is stalking or being unpleasant.

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      tsmogposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I do not remember unfriending a person for personal or spiteful cause. Not meant in a negative sense as the capacity to censor followers is a matter of choice and are blessed in a sense of that choice. So, a good thing
      
      However, I have unfriended many on several occasions. Usually once a year I go to my stats page and then go to the 'Following' link. I review "Hubbers I follow" for those who have not any activity for say a couple of years. I do not have any theory why other than I just feel . . . why? I dun'no . . .

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      Marisa Wrightposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      We don't "friend" people here. We "follow" them, which is a totally different concept.   Personally I wish they'd kept the word "fan", which says it better.    You follow another Hubber because you're interested in their writing.  If they stop writing on subjects that interest you, then naturally you're going to "unfollow" them.  There's nothing personal about it.
      
      On Facebook, I do unfriend occasionally.   I have quite a lot of "friends" from the dance community who are more like acquaintances than friends.   Some of them are real "divas" - they're loud and flamboyant in real life and they're the same on Facebook, and if I find their posts are swamping my feed, I may unfriend them (or at least hide their posts).

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      luvtoowriteposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I will not friend, if I feel there are privacy concerns.

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      Alphapxposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I feel fine after unfriending someone.  I am a courageous to do what is good for myself and for my friend. To avoid bigger problems, one must decide to go or stop and turn away.

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2. 68

   amiebutchkoposted 10 years ago

   I actually did unfriend someone from facebook - or rather, didn't accept their initial friend request (but they thought I unfriended them), and believe it or not, they showed up at my house and asked me why!!!!  I was horrified!

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      lorlie6posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      No way!  Frightening.

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      rebekahELLEposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I bet you're glad you didn't accept their friend request!  That's crazy behavior.
      
      I unfollow very rarely.  If someone hasn't had any HP activity for a few years, I'll unfollow.  A few times I've stopped following people for various reasons, but it doesn't bother me.  I don't even know them~
      
      Facebook is much more private and personal for me.  I generally keep friends to those I know, those I have common interests with and family.  I haven't accepted many friends requests.  I think in some instances FB becomes like peeking in someone's home.  So I keep it mostly private.  It's not that I don't like many of those that send friend requests.  I just don't want every person I know following my FB activity.  Keep in mind some of those friend's requests are automated from contacts list, they're not always a direct personal request.

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      luvtoowriteposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That is frightening! How did you handle that? I'm glad I have a big dog.

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   JessBrazposted 10 years ago

   I've have yet to stop following someone here on Hubpages. However I have deleted so many people from my facebook account over the years. I'm not one of those people that have like 250 facebook friends. I have personal photos from vacations and family photo's, that it weirds me out to have people I don't know have access to those. I think I have like maybe 50 people on my friends list... all people I have known for a long time and/or see on a regular basis.
   
   When I first got facebook, of course, like most people, I went to town adding anyone and accepting friend requests from just about everyone, even if I only met them once or twice.. But I've seen cleaned it up and deleted a lot of them. What prompted me to do so was seeing these people in real life and them not acknowledging me. I live in a relatively some city, so if I've got someone from my area on FB, odds are I'll run into them eventually. It had happened a few times where I would be out doing grocery shopping or something similar and someone who was on my FB friends list would be looking at the oranges right beside me and not even say hi... but then I would get home and see a message on my wall like "Hey! Saw you at the grocery store! How are you?!" .... It's very weird. I find facebook has made a lot of people socially awkward. They can't speak to you when you're face to face, instead they wait until they're home to do it from behind a computer... I find the whole thing very bizarre, which is why I've deleted a lot of people. I don't feel bad about it at all.
   
   I keep my profile locked up pretty tight. I've recently had people I work with say "hey! I tried to find you on FB but I couldn't! You don't share any of your profile with anyone" .. My typical response is something along the lines of "Yeah. I don't really use FB too often" and they usually let it go... When actually I'm looking at them thinking "Why would you look me up on FB?! We've never even had a conversation before and you want to be my FB friend?"
   
   Lorlie, I don't think you should feel bad about deleting anyone or unfollowing anyone. If someone was mistreating you, made you feel uncomfortable or anything like that in real life, you wouldn't put up with it, so why would you be expected to do so online?

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      JessBrazposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      wow, I just re-read that and there's quite a few grammatical errors.. I wish we could go back and edit our comments after they've been posted. lol. I'm sorry guys, it's early and I just woke up.. My fingers are apparently having a hard time finding the right keys on the keyboard. lol.

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         descentiongalposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Try the more button under the post. You may be a bit late though. There is a window of opportunity to do so.

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            JessBrazposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Awesome! I guess I probably could've figured that out if I had clicked around a little more, eh? My bad, but thanks for pointing that out to me! Now I'll know for future forum posts! Cheers!

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         lorlie6posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Which button, though-I've been here way too long and don't know where it is. 

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            JessBrazposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            right underneath where you're smiley face is.. "reply" .. "more" .. if you click more it lets you chose "edit" so you can fix something you put in your post.

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               lorlie6posted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks, JessBraz! 

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   Carola Finchposted 10 years ago

   I did unfriend someone who was very judgmental about my posts.  She is still my friend, but I don't let her into my inner life.  I am very picky about how my friends are.  I keep a separate FB account for my work.

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5. 66

   relacheposted 10 years ago

   Have I ever ceased an unhealthy or unproductive interaction, association or relationship?  Of course I have. 
   
   I don't see how the application of the term "unfriending" or why the occurrence in virtual space suddenly makes it so challenging or such a negative action to so many people.

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      JessBrazposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Amen!

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   Mark Ewbieposted 10 years ago

   Yes - here, there, everywhere.  Too much spam, disagreement over something, or just realising that I wasn't really following or paying attention.
   
   Life is too short to clog your feed up with stuff you are not interested in .

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I immediately went and checked my FB page. I would have been very sad indeed.

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         Mark Ewbieposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Lol - it wasn't aimed at anyone!

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            

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      lorlie6posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Nice to see you, Mister Stickman!  And I do agree wholeheartedly. 

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         Mark Ewbieposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Hey lorlie6! I am contractually obliged to make a forum post once every three days.
         
         If I want to be a writer... I ought to be writing.  That's sort of how I see it.

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      Marcy Goodfleischposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Ditto.  On FB, I have unfriended and even blocked a few people I'd 'met' in a group (only knew them online) and later realized they were unstable or abusive.  I've also unfollowed and unfriended at least one member of HP who relentlessly 'shared' maybe 5-10 of his/her own hubs a day, for weeks on end. 
      
      And, I have blocked at least two stalkers on FB.  My policy is that if I'd avoid someone's behavior on a bus or subway, why put up with it online?

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      1. 73

         lorlie6posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         The Internet is such a bizarre "venue", Marcy-you nailed it, and I am happy to see you've dealt with this issue.  I went fairly wild 'following/friending' people on a couple of sites, including HP, and am now trying to clean my mess up. 
         Stalkers are terribly hard to spot (it's what they do, for God's sake ) , so I hope I can truly tell them from the pals I 'keep'.

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   ahorsebackposted 10 years ago

   Lorlie !   OMG , could it be ?  NOOoooo! You wouldn't . Would you, LOL  I have done this once or twice  too  , there are times when  we just don't need someone's criticism  or personal attacks .  And why should we  feel guilty at all . I really have a dislike of F B ,  You don't see me there much or in the forums anywhere !   Nice to see you back here  because you've been a big influence on my writing from the beginning ! be well my friend ........:-}

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   1. 73

      lorlie6posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      ahorseback, I made up this whole thread!   It's so great to see you, too...wow!  No, I haven't seen you much anywhere (I think I told you I've sort of taken a hiatus from HP), but now that I've read these fabulously informative and supportive comments, I just may return. 
      Especially for a person of your caliber.  I mean that. 
      Ain't it weird, though, neither one of us really knows one another, you know, thus this thread!  But I do know you are one helluva friend of mine, stalker or not, I don't care simply because I lub you right back. 
      I am going on and on, sorry!
      You be better than ever, doll!

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         Castlepalomaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Never unfriendly anyone, wish for a friendlier world, Have avoided the odd person from being over negativity. One time ahorseback came on strong, since I'm a horse sign, we both worked most of it out.

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