Do You Miss An Ex?

1. 60

   Princess Kariposted 14 years ago

   hey,
   
   I miss my ex. when, if ever, is it too late to try get back together?

   replyreport
   1. 61

      Elynjoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, I miss him and our endless ridiculous fights over nothing.

      replyreport
2. 60

   Princess Kariposted 14 years ago

   I think people are really in love when they would rather be with the person in the worst of fights then go without them. I never got over my ex. I have been bottling up all this sadness. He doesn't talk to me so its very hard to get over. I think he might have been the one. I would have loved to have married that guy

   replyreport
   1. 81

      LondonGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Speaking as someone who has prosecuted quite a few domestic violence cases, I disagree. That's victimhood, not love.

      replyreport
      1. 58

         mandybeauposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Mmmm I hate how people think a controlling relationship, is a relationship in any way.

         replyreport
         1. 60

            Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            i agree

            replyreport
      2. 60

         Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         oh. yeah, sorry. i mean a bad argument, not a bad physical fight or assault.

         replyreport
3. 0

   girly_girl09posted 14 years ago

   I don't know your entire relationship history, so I wouldn't feel right giving you advice on whether or not you should get back together. I think it's great when people can, but it's not always the best or even the right thing to do.
   
   I miss my ex terribly too, I probably still love him. I had to end things with him after I found out that he wasn't being completely honest with me. It was the hardest thing I've ever done because spending time with him was amazing and I really care for him. Ending things with him was also the most "grown-up" thing I've ever done.
   
   I have a lot of resentment towards him, but when I think about it, I can justify everything and I have to stop myself from doing that. I won't go into details, but he's a lot older, very handsome & charismatic and had me fooled in many ways, that is for sure.
   
   I saw him last week when I was out shopping (he didn't see me, he was in traffic at a stop light). I felt like I had to be sick because I realized how much I miss him. I also realize that I will never be able to date him again and we can't be "just friends" because a relationship with him is very wrong and very selfish to someone else.
   
   So, I'm still in the process of moving on...but it is difficult when you still really care for the person. Trust me, I know all about that!

   replyreport
4. 60

   Princess Kariposted 14 years ago

   Did you ever suspect him? You deserve someone who will be honest with you and devoted to you. Seeing ex's is so awkward, I never know where to  or what to do. I always feel stupid even if they don't see me. Its not selfish to have feelings, you were very hurt by someone you thought was the one for you. That kind of thing can take a long time to get over so its natural. Sometimes ex's do get back together, my friend and her man got back together and they look so happy. So how does one know when its a happy decision and when its too late? It was probably best to leave him in your situation, just because he is older and charming doesn't mean he can treat people like that.

   replyreport
5. 57

   lawrettaposted 14 years ago

   I miss all my ex-es. i just couldn't commit now am filled with regrets

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      wow you look exactly like someone i know and she also did law. hectic!

      replyreport
6. 0

   Leta Sposted 14 years ago

   If you have really been in love, I don't think you ever get over your ex(es).  I know I haven't stopped loving any one of them, and for some, its been years.  Weird how that is.  I know where each of them are, what they are doing, etc., etc.  We on occasion still talk--though no--we are not 'friends,'in the common assumption of that word, as I don't think that is possible, given the nature of the relationship
   
   I also don't think it is ever necessarily 'too late' to get back together--things happen, people change, life is strange.  It can change for the better as well as change for the worse.  Definitely things are not static...  It seems to come down to a point of practicality a lot, though--as people do move on to other relationships and experiences.
   
   That is not a lot of concretes, I know--but maybe truthful. 

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thats cool that you're on good terms and at peace. i wish i was like that. i think it shows great maturity. i am inspired now and hope to learn from your example :-)

      replyreport
7. 59

   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   Yeah, I miss my ex's n they each have a spot in my heart. Each one had something truly wonderful but alas...we parted ways...but I still hold a love of that wonderful part...and I hope I will end with my James Bond hehe

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      only if he is sean connery
      "yesh miss money-penny, yesh"
      wow. i think i'm in love with him

      replyreport
8. 57

   Mrvoodooposted 14 years ago

   Yes, I haven't seen or spoken to her in five years, but I've missed her every day. 
   
   All you can do is be thankful for the time you shared, and hope that they have found true happiness.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      wow you must have loved her very much. i think its awesome that you care about her happiness and wellbeing despite the break-up. thats true love people.

      replyreport
9. 84

   Princessaposted 14 years ago

   No, I don't miss them.  I have managed to remain friends with most of them -at least the ones that were worth it-.  They know that I will always be there for them if they need me and I know that I can count of them regardless.
   
   Relationships change, they evolve and in my case the relationship with ex boyfriends have become a very close friendship.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thats awesome. i want to be friends with my ex's too!

      replyreport
10. 58

    mandybeauposted 14 years ago

    I miss them like "a hole in the head"Not

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       ha ha ha thats funny. lol.

       replyreport
11. 83

    SweetiePieposted 14 years ago

    Once I break up with someone it is over in my mind.  I went on two dates with a guy, and it was nice, but then he went several months without calling me.  Low and behold three months later he is calling me up and suggesting we should go out, but I pointed out to him that if he really had wanted to date me he would have stayed in touch.  It did not work for a reason, and it is highly toxic, even in the best of circumstances, to seek out someone that broke up with you.  If you broke up with him, then why are you having second thoughts?  It is better to get out and do things you like, and then you might meet someone along the way.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       its good reasoning but its tough emotionally

       replyreport
       1. 83

          SweetiePieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          It is tough emotionally, but several years ago I was in the same place as you.  I missed this guy and just thought we should be back together, but I finally realized I was wasting time on something very unhealthy.  I only say try your best not to think about him because if you two broke up there was probably a reason for it.  Now I am just very distant about people who decide they do not want to date me.  I am sure they are great people and all that, but if they do not really like me very much, I really just cannot be bothered to spend any time thinking of them.  My approach may seem extreme, but I am holding out for the type of relationship I know I deserve, and where the guy truly wants to be with me, not someone he thinks I should be, and not me trying to be what I think he wants me to be.

          replyreport
          1. 75

             marcofratelliposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Spot on. Kari, I think I was trying to say what SweetiePie just did about being open & honest and also not settling for less than the real thing...

             replyreport
12. 60

    The Philposted 14 years ago

    I'll name your ex 'Alex'
    
    Let your heart guide you to your answer. If you miss Alex because you got used to being together, I'd say move on. If you miss Alex because you feel like Alex is an important part of your like, do what makes you feel good.
    
    Life is short, spend the good times the way you best enjoy! Good Luck

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       wow you remind me of dr phil
       i miss alex because he was someone i could see myself marrying, i loved him very much. but alex isnt taking to me. which kind of blocks most of my attempts and getting back together

       replyreport
13. 0

    isis_dreams2002posted 14 years ago

    yes i miss my ex it has been 6mths now but i dont miss the way he carried on and things he did if he had not done of few things i think we would have still been together.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       sigh. why cant they all just be perfect and stuff

       replyreport
14. 63

    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    I went out with someone for close to a year (maybe over a year, if you count the time he didn't seem to "get" that we were broken up).  I wanted to break up, and I didn't regret it in the least.  Still, when he moved away and was no longer around I was shocked to find myself missing him.  I know it was only a matter of not having someone around who had been around.  It was bad, though.  I actually started to re-think my decision to break up. 
    
    My point is, I think we miss people who have been in our lives, even when we should not be together (and even when we don't really love them, or at least don't love them the way people are supposed to love a romantic partner).
    
    My advice to anyone who knows they had good reasons to break up would be to stay strong through the temporary "miss-them phase". Don't confuse missing them with regretting breaking up, or with loving them.  That phase passes.  I compare what I experienced as the kind of withdrawal discomfort that goes with breaking any bad habit.  When the "bad habit" was a person who was nice it can be even more difficult to recognize "withdrawal symptoms".

    replyreport
    1. 75

       marcofratelliposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       My ex, who was coincidentally my first girlfriend at the time, was not good for me. She was head over heels in love with me but I had to be convinced to go into the relationship, that I had nothing to lose. We were always on the phone for about 2 months - i felt like she had become my soul mate, even though I didn't really feel *that* attracted to her.
       
       I broke up with her twice, because all of the stuff she kept telling me about herself and/or her family (AND my family - she reckoned she was a little bit psychic) just didn't add up and I found myself doubting her and losing trust. Overall the relationship prob lasted 2-3 months off and on. There is too much to say in detail about it and I have written a "poem" about it in one of my hubs, just as a creative way to let it all out (something I highly recommend).
       
       Anyway, the long and long of it is - she was no good for me and I knew that and I'm ok with it (I did the breaking up). But it's been over a year now and she is anything but forgotten. Regularly in church I still pray for her. I have a lot of resentment too and a LOT of unanswered questions I probably will never get closure for. I try to block them out sometimes but I can't help trying to search for answers sometimes. Despite it all I did feel she really loved me and I didn't want to hurt her but I had to end it otherwise I'd be living a lie. It was only a few months but it felt like a lifetime, in that we'd been through so much. Who am I kidding, I'm still trying to really deal with it but it's basically stopped me searching so hard to find a girlfriend and made me realise I shouldn't even bother getting into a relationship and settle for less.
       
       Didn't mean for this to be too long and it probably doesn't make sense, but it's my story.

       replyreport
       1. 60

          Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I did get a little bit confused. You're quite funny. I can kinda relate, who wants a relationship after breaking up anyway

          replyreport
    2. 60

       Princess Kariposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       yeah i know some people who just get back together because they are bored or want an ego trip. its sad.

       replyreport
15. 59

    sassychicposted 14 years ago

    I miss an ex that moved away. I will never forget him, he was truly a wonderful guy we were really attached to eachother until he moved back to his country because his family was homesick

    replyreport
16. 69

    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    We all have an 'ex' somewhere in our lives.  Until you realise that your ex really is an ex; I guess many of us forget to see why we are better than any opinion an ex has of us.  If you have a good heart that was not complimented by another good heart; never look back towards the ex.  That's exactly what many ex s need to avoid seeing their own shortcomings.
    
    Your ex is limiting our ability to be who you are destined to be, because you are allowing yourself to stop and look back.
    
    Be strong Kari, this is your time to find yourself.  It's only a short journey alone, you will see.
    
    Be your best, let your heart heal and when you least expect it you will find a prince.

    replyreport
17. 81

    Bard of Elyposted 14 years ago

    Yes! I miss all the past girlfriends I had but cannot undo the past!

    replyreport