I'm having trouble convincing a special friend to believe in God. So I decided to break free. Did I make the right decision?
Cause I want to be married in church. God willing and your all invited. hehe
If you would have a lover would you marry him or her if he/she an atheist?
Oh dear - you ditched someone you love because you couldn't get them to believe the same rubbish you do?
Good for you...............
You don't dump someone for not agreeing, That is so Mad, Everytime someone says no, I think you are wrong, I believe that "its this way, not How you say it is" they get the "Boot" How are you ever going to stick with anyone, No two people ever agree, all the time. I am gobsmacked by this. Unbelievable. The Guy has had a very lucky escape. Stay single.
If in doubt -dont or at least -delay convincing? either they believe in something you do or don't?
If you are really committed and you believe in your relationship then try to make a way for this to work... but one thing's for sure, you can never force a person to do something that he doesn't like. wait for him to make a decision without your intervention. if the reason of his conversion is because of your happiness and your beliefs, eventually this will lead to more problems. I think you can pray for him, your strong faith will surely help.
You made a right decision, at least he will have a chance to be happy now.
If I was in love there religion would not matter to me!!!!
"You don't believe in the same BS as me so we can't be together. If you ever decide to agree with me on EVERY subject than come back !"
NOOOO you didn't make the right choice. My parents were always split on this subject but they still love each other and are happy together ...
and honestly your ex is lucky because clearly you are ... never mind i'm sure you are a nice person but honestly this just blows my mind lol. I hope this is a joke...
am I being Punked ?
I married a christian who did not seem to mind marrying an atheist. We had a semi-religious ceremony. We included just enough bits and pieces of different faiths and traditions that nobody from either family was excluded. This also meant that nobody was HAPPY with the ceremony. It was perfect!
certainly would, why not?
Today we discussed with my fiancé whether we should have a great wedding or a small cozy one. We have different points of view, but I certainly won't brake our relations because of it. We'll find a compromise.
I would have to say that your 'special' friend deserves a medal for allowing you to influence the specialness with such a hollow event.
A persons value system is not a hollow one IMO
A belief in an invisible super being is not a value system IMHO
Are you trying to do the very thing you do not like Mark ,such as force your opinions/beliefs on me?
Why did you add IMHO? at the end of your statement
To Summise , according to the OP would you marry an atheist , my answer no -because (above)...
but ya'know , we dont agree on Gods existance , so how much more of a problem would it be for intending couples?...
I rest my case.
Only if - as the OP stated "I'm having trouble convincing a special friend to believe in God."
None of you seem to realize that this is where the conflict comes in. I am sure if she had not tried to do this, they would have gotten along just fine. I have plenty of friends who believe in an invisible super being. We even discuss it occasional. And it is fine - as long as they do not try to convince me to believe in it.
And I was making fun of you by adding IMHO.
Now explain how my belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a value system.
Its your belief ,you explain it
Even if I explained why I believed something ( and its what I was meaning back there) ,its mine, not exclusively mine, but never the less my belief.
It matters to me how those beliefs affect my whole mindset...as do another persons belief's influence or (not) , them
So in the great scheme of things ,conflict would no doubt arise.
But it doesnt just apply in religion..though obviously its a biggy ,if not biggest
For example , would you get along with a certain group of people ,knowing they dont respect your morals? ( Im talking couples thing)
Heres another that comes to mind
I once dated a guy, great person ,good worker, good citizen etc ,but he didnt ever want children-didnt believe in them
There are tons of examples why people wont 'fit' but may otherwise get along.
We did not share the same belief system...
No - you are the one who thinks believing in a god is a value system - you explain it. I already stated that it is not.
What has morals got to do with it? You think you have a different set of morals to me because I do not believe in god?
Yes and Id go further to say , they could be different to the man next door too ( and I dont even know what or who he believes in)
I value spending time with other Christians( some)
I value time at Church or freedom to worship the way I want to.
Are those not values,they are to me.
I think, that when deciding to marry, your religous beliefs are of utmost importance. If two peoplehave opposite moral and relgious values, this will become a huge problem. I am not, by any means, saying one should judge another based on religion. And of course in any relationship there will be compromises, but when it comes to core values and beliefs, it is important to agree. (You can say shes wrong for believing in God, and all that, but thats not the point.) You must have simiallar beliefs for a relationship to work.
I would love to advice you on this important event. But I really can't, because........well, you see, I don't believe in atheists. But, I've got an experiment for you since the person thinks he's an atheist. Go to the religion section, and read the posts of the atheists there (it's a riot that they post there more than anyone!) and then ask yourself if you'd like to be married to anyone like that for a lifetime (or even 15 minutes). Then make your choice....
I wouldn't want to be married to a fanatical believer: And those are all christians for what I see ! I think I'd prefer a Jew. More like 'Low Profile'
See? its not about Atheist vs Believer. Its the fact that the 2 cant get along. it doesnt matter if your right or hes right, you will end up fighting later on.
yes your right. If we can't get along now how much more in the long run.
She makes a great point that I didn't think about. Look at the conflict that you see on this forum. In fact, go to any forum and the usual suspects show up: the believers battling the unbelievers. It's the strongest evidence that dennisematt is right. And the debate sometimes starts out civil, but it then degenerates. The differences don't dissipate after marriage; they become writ large. Hope things work out for you.
oh thanks for telling me about that post of atheist but i will not bother reading the, I better read the bible. Maybe one day I would me a christian catholic.
It's kind of an odd question because you wouldn't really be able to get married if you were truly a hardcore Atheist. Marriage is for all intents and purposes the union of two people before God. I'm not saying I believe in marriage, but if one were to believe in marriage and hold the core value of not having faith in things he can't see, then what's the point of getting married? To conceive of the concept of marriage requires the same cognitive functions as to conceive of the possibility of God (faith, trust, unconditional love etc.).
I ask myself the question, and even though I have no set beliefs for either or, I think I'd respect the beliefs of my partner and wherever she wanted to get married I would be 'more or less' fine with it, or at least be comfortable compromising. Relationships get to a point where they transcend surface level conflicts like that. Perhaps if he was really 'the one' you'd be able to work it out together, if its mean't to be.
Utter disinformation, bovine excreta. One certainly does not need a supreme being to have a marriage in general... perhaps one would need to be of a faith to make a faith-based marriage work, but marriage is a civil union, a legal framework of a social arrangement between two individuals. If you want to add all sorts of religious spin to it, that's fine for you, from your box... but marriage is not confined to that world view.
My religious doctrine is open-ended and non-exclusive -- thus for me marriage is a union between two sovereign souls and a legal arrangement of estates. For me, spiritual marriage happens when I unite with another soul, whether through sex, partnership, or other yoke of action. Legal marriage carries that idea into the civil sphere.
I was married to a jew, the son of a very important rabi, me being agnostic, coming from a catholic family.. the problems between us were of infidelity on both sides. Nothing to do with religious matters.
The important thing is that both of you should be able to respect one another.
That is almost impossible if you both disagree on your existance and destiny.
But trying to change someone ,by force or blackmail ,or nagging ,or bullying , or any mentally abusive behaviour is wrong. ( Not saying you do any of these things)
I am a person with spiritual beliefs that is married to an athiest and it doesn't cause us any problems at all but then neither of us is out to convert the other. We certainly have some interesting discussions but thse are never arguments. We both respect each other and understand that belief is a very personal thing.
When it comes to shared values we are both on the same page. Honesty, integrity, generosity, kindness to our fellow humans, equality, etc etc.
So it can work but only when you respect and accept each others differences.
My dad was raised Jewish... doesn't practice. My mom was raised Catholic... doesn't practice. (That isn't atypical) They got married. Their families dealt with it. It has been 22 years. But for couples where one person is religious and the other not so much, I could see a problem, if you let it be.
Would I marry an atheist? Yes.
I most certainly would not. It was well established by a consensus of Hubbers that Atheists are boring, illogical, and just plain wrong. Marrying such a person would be an afront to The Artist Formerly Known as God.
Frankly speaking, I'm not a religious person, maybe it's the reason why I don't see the problem. But at the same time as far as I understood the question to believe or not to believe is not the only problem in this couple. And if you, Beautyrose, hesitate to marry this person or not... listen to your heart...
I'd say you made a wise decision. A couple who are devoted to opposing belief systems can get along, true, but all kinds of problems can crop up when kids and the questions about how to raise them enter into the equation.
I did marry an atheist. He is the love of my life and one of the wisest and smartest people I have ever met. He is a physicist, who is a bit piqued at the new age "gurus" who have tried to steal his science and turn it into magic.
Yes I would marry an athiest.... I would only marry an athiest!
I guess that I would marry a religious person, just as long as they were happy to marry an athiest... which judging by this board is unlikely.
Most people that I know consider themselves to be an athiest, it's just like that were I was raised.
Just be happy with your choice and dont be swayed by what (we )others think.
At the end of the day its your life , your happiness and your values as you see them , NOT as anyone else dictates they should be.
That been said ...Real Christian Marriages are successful and happy
Real Atheist Marriages are More Successful and Happy.
We are not so keen on marrying our siblings - like it says in the bible.
I'm gonna disagree... Christians don't marry siblings.
Marks always on the defensive , wonder why ...lol
It was because he said christian marry there own our sibling (in the old testament)and that according to him. And he was stating that in an old testament. He did not know that in the old testament it was God command on them to marry this man or that woman for the purpose of continued creation not as insist. But during the new testament Time of Jesus just after Noah God never allowed marriage by close blood already cause its considered insist in New testament. So Hope Mark you understand already. When you ready bible start from Old Testament Then New Testament then Final part of Bible the Apocalypse or Revelation.
Perhaps because he always being attacked?
Like it says in the bible.
Tell me the dinosaur story again. I like that one. Did they cuddle up with Noah?
Nobodys attacking you ??? oh nother joke right
Im taking off ,want pizza
Have a great week-end everyone
Ok let me check my bible later about it. I'm preparing to go to work and its morning here. Don't worry about me I know God has a good plan for me. All I wanted is that I marry a man of God so the wedding will be in church ok . No need to argue and fight about it cause in this world i know there are those who don't believe in God and its there loss already not mine.
It's nobody's loss.... why does religion make folks so touchy.... IMO some folks who're atheists much better human beings... than fundamentalists.
No matter how good you are, no matter how successful you are, no matter how rich you are or poor you are. As long as you don't recognize your creator your a loser. Remember no person can ever create a mountain or ocean, a sea, a bird, an animal or plants or flower cause it only proves that there's one up there who created these and its God. The only thing human tried to do is a robot. see they cannot do what God has done He created you and me. Ok. Hope i have enlightened you on these example. Have a blissful day.
Didn't they teach you "evolution" in school... I'm not gonna argue....you're entitled to your beliefs..... I look at Bible as a book for "values"..... I'm not gonna believe Bible completely.... when there is a mountain of evidence from science.... Peace.
@ Beautyrose Evolution isn't just "another theory".... please read this and let me know your opinion http://www.ebonmusings.org/evolution/evotheory.html
Sorry I don't believed in EVOLUTION. I know I did not come from monkeys ok. It was God who created HUMANS. And Monkeys are lower form of animals ok.
It is sounding more and more like he made a very wise decision to dump you.
Would I marry an atheist? Absolutely.
Would I marry someone unable to comprehend basic scientific information? And not only that but prepared to argue against it because a book written by goat herders 2,000 years ago doesn't agree with it? Not a chance........
I searched for that link... did you at least read it.
NO Thanks. I would rather read bible and informative books. Those evolution theory would only poison my mind boy.
My school doesn't teach nonsense topic or subjects.
If you don't mind.... Where're you from?.... Where did you study?
oh are you interested in me young man? I studied in medical field. I don't have to tell you more.
I wasn't flirting.... and I have a GF.... I wanna know whether you are from USA.... and were you home schooled..... thanks for the information.... Peace
LOL Since her BF dumped her, she is on the lookout for another atheist she can try to convert LOL
For the record..... I'm not atheist.... I prefer the label "individualist"..... finding something good in everything.
Do I sound like I'm looking for an atheist guy. Enough on this.
I been talking a lot here but you seems not able to comprehend the substance of my talks. Sorry but I think you cannot work in court or obtain high position if your thinking is not that fast, comprehension matters most. Just like a quick pick up on matters discussed.
I was not dumped. It was I who decided to break up the relation. Now its clear to me that your level of comprehension is very poor. I suggest you go back to college. Probably you were always absent. Kindly brows my thread. I was not dumped instead it was I who made the break up.
Relax Beautyrose..... you're being unfair now.... you will find someone soon.... have you tried online dating profiles?
I'm not being unfair. But my commentary is loud and clear. Sorry but I know if someone knows well enough based on the way they talk.
So you suggesting online dating? lols so I will meet more head aches there?
Did I ever say I want to work in court?!
And yeah, you are right, when you grow older your thinking and comprehension gets slower, you'll understand when you get there.
I am just wondering, did your parents teach you to be polite with elders? Something tells me it is a norm in your part of the world, but you keep breaking it. It's a sin btw, your holy book tells you you should respect elders. http://www.openbible.info/topics/respecting_elders
I guess you will burn in hell for eternity for that.
Respect comes from both old and young. I know how to respect older people. But what matters with old people is that they are abusing there state of being old. You know why I said this? they are asking respect from young one's when they themselves cannot respect the younger one's too and that is your case now.
Behave like a respected old man cause the way I see it I even talk more like of an old person than you are.
I was just merely asking for an opinion but not your ridicule as been your habit.
Yes, you do - but you already tried that and could not persuade him to believe whatever stuff it is you do. Bit of a tough sell to anyone with a brain.
I recommend these guys if you are looking to find some one:
Landover Baptist Church
They have a fantastic dating area where you can meet like minded people. And a great range of guns for sale.
Got to be worth a try............
Now that is a true christian right there.
Your ex boy friend is a lucky man. No wonder he dumped you. Bright guy. Did you say he was an atheist? They are the brightest usually......
Actually I think it is your loss in believing in this white-bearded sadist, but to each her own of course, happy burning in hell. And congrats to your ex for escaping this.
IMO evolution is closer to truth..."creation" was a theory.... to explain unknown things.. at that time the world didn't have scientific advancements as we have today... but Bible does have some useful "values"..... so do other beliefs from the east.
don't say that boy cause people of God has much values than we are are you reading bible? specially the new testament? and have you read the book of saints? well if we are just near I would take my time sharing you my bible at home.
Butyousaidyouarescaredtomarryanyone who you sould not force to believthes ame stuff you believe and therfore after havingsex with him and he dumped you you are no w loeaving him I hop you understand this is not waht it say in bible then old testament not true this mean bible not trie.? OK thx
You haven't been reading your bible have you?
I'm not questioning Bible... I'm questioning the present prevalent practice.... We don't marry siblings.
we don't marry our siblings its an insist. But in the Old testament since there are less people it was God who direct them really of whom are they gonna marry regardless if they are related or not but not considered insist. Not allowing to marry siblings or close blood ties comes only during Jesus Christ time. You'll see a big difference when your read Old testament and New testament of the bible. Just a clarification on this matter.
No not really
better still ,dont
I base MY opinion on couples I know
I have heard many testimonies of it and i don't need to show who they are cause its personal. Some couples were reconciled when they seek and have God in there life.
Perhaps if you tried harder to make him believe?
Don't you feel you have let god down? You know - giving up and all..............
Did you give it up to him? An atheist? You know - the bad thing that is a sin? Unless..........
Go on - you can tell us. Did ya?
No no Misha - all those divorces in the US - They are not Real Christians.........
My mom's catholic.... she married my step dad (athiest).... my GF is Catholic... I'm open to eastern beliefs..... when a couple loves each other... life's gonna be boring if both agreed on everything.
In same religion nothing is boring but life is in harmony. Not all part or aspect of life can be said boring. Cause life is dynamic at all. It can only be boring if you keep stagnant. Not acting your faith out.
My dad was JW.. and mom Catholic... life was hell(got divorced).... my step dad (atheist).... really cool... gotta be more to life than religion.... do you get that.
beautyrose, if you were trying to convince him to believe what you do that shows you don't respect him or his right to his own beliefs. You wanted to change him. That's a disastrous ingredient in any relationship.
You are better off with nobody than with someone you think you have a right to try to change. Your friend is better off with someone who respects his right to have his own beliefs and who is willing to love him for who he is. IMO
As far as whether I'd marry an atheist goes, I measure "marry-able" based on a person's kindness, character, respect for other people, honesty, integrity - and things like that. So, sure - I'd marry an atheist. Obviously, though, your measure of "marry-able" is different - so I think you did a great thing by breaking up. I'd just bet God (if there is one) is pretty pleased with you right now.
I don't see why not. He is a man after all. What he believe or don't believe is his personal preference and you have no right to force your opinion on someone.
Well, I don't really believe in marriage in the legal sense. So...that being said, I was with an atheist. He was a good person--well, basically. There is probably a difference between someone who thinks his way through to becoming an atheist philosophically and someone who assumes they are an atheist (as many Freshmen boy college students seem to, in my experience, lol) or who were raised that way (just as a religious person or a 'christianist.')
I've got to say, it is sort of a point loss if a person is not spiritual...to me. But equally it would be a point loss if the partner said they believed in God and never really thought it through...or believed in a >slightly< too fundamental way. Which, lol, the latter being the present situation (hey...those partners are never perfect!).... Also, exchange in a relationship is a good thing...forcing change is not.
So, would I be with an atheist? The answer is 'maybe.' Would I be with a rank christianist? The answer there: Absolutely not.
Atheists descended from believers! Will they ever deny that?
oh your right quicksand. were not monkey's and definitely someone up there created us. Sad to say these created human creature does not even recognize him or they are even ungrateful to there creator that at least they were made humans and not ants otherwise they would not be in hubpages but maybe crawling somewhere. Right? these thoughts make me smile.
There is nothing wrong with monkeys, have you ever sat and watched a family of chimpanzees? It is more than obvious to most people that they are on a few steps down from us in the chain of evolution.
What happened to the other few steps? I guess that humans killed them off, just like they are believed to have done to the neanderthal man. Sometimes I look at my fellow human being and I wish that we didn't develop the aggressive and hateful genes that we clearly possess.
Watching two chimpanzes kissing and hugging is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
Sorry I am afraid of monkey. Let them live in there normal habitat. See that most diseases comes from animals like HIV/AIDS comes from monkey so don't exploit them they have there animal nature that is different from us humans.
You a medical graduate?....I'm surprised.... your understanding of HIV/AIDS incomplete.
Boy i know AIDS history don't argue about it or else it might be a long argument again.
@Beautyrose Can you please stop addressing me as a "boy"..... reserved only for close friends/family.... I'm gonna be 21 soon.... If you're gonna talk about monkeys... "nature"... human contact.... then it came through food chain.... I'm gonna give you a link.... IMO this link doesn't "poison" your mind.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV_and_AI … onceptions
Differing opinions keeps things in perspective. You can't make everybody like you.
When 2 people love each other each one would work out something to keep their love alive.Enjoy the journey of love.
>peace 2 u.
I know lot's of long term relationships which work well when one party is atheist. It is as always about how people are with each other's differences more than what those differences are.
you really need to check out hat site I posted in the forums, www.corg.org
now that's some weird shit I wouldn't marry!
You left your partner because they didn't share your religious beliefs? Goodness me, that's a bit scary - not to mention dictatorial segregation which is what starts religious wars in the first place.
I would marry a person I was in love with. what they believed in would not be an issue.
Good thinking! If he was an axe murdering Nazi loving loony, you wouldn't love him anyway!
Ummmm there are limits haha, I suppose an axe murdering nazi loving loonies Mummy might still love him.
Take a look at a Story about a Guy called Clayton Weatherston, his parents love him. He locked his Girlfriend in her Bedroom, while her Mother helplessly stood by, as he stabbed her 216 times.
His lawyer, Judith Ablett-Kerr, claims he was provoked.
Despite the fact he was her Lecturer and wasn't meant to be in a Relationship with a Student to begin with.
He is the most ghastly creep you have ever seen laughed about his actions, blamed the young girl. Mindblowing.
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