I seem to be on earth to unhelpfully watch other people suffer

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  1. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 13 years ago

    Today my partner Bill had another pain attack when the doctor pulled the tube out of his side. It was supposed to be no big deal, and then he would be cleared to go back to work Monday after being off since October 12, being in the hospital twice and in surgery once, and ending up at the ER three times.

    Instead, the doc whips the tube out and he immediately goes into such severe pain it takes the ER four hours to get him to where he can walk out of there, sort of, with the advice that they don't know at this point what is wrong, they can't think of anything, come back if it happens again.

    So this minor thing provoked enough dilaudid to kill a horse and he's still in pain--from this morning. And now he won't go to the ER either because they were such dicks about it.

    This has been going on for a month and he's right back where he started.

    I'm freaked out.

  2. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 13 years ago

    I'll pray for you.

  3. Flightkeeper profile image69
    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    There are things that the doctors and staff just can't figure out. You sometimes wish that everybody had an insufferable but brilliant House to figure things out.  pgrundy, I'm sorry to hear about Bill.  I was hoping that he was quickly on the mend.

    I hope you will be okay throughout this night. Although it must be difficult.

  4. KCC Big Country profile image85
    KCC Big Countryposted 13 years ago

    I'm really sorry to hear that Bill's not doing well again.  I was hoping (as I know you were!) that that last round was it for him.  Bless his heart, and yours! Take care.  I'm thinking of you both!

  5. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 13 years ago

    I'll take the prayers, thanks.

    I just don't know what to do. I guess if we get through the night I'll drag him to his GP tomorrow or a clinic or something. He thinks he's going to be able to call the GI guy tomorrow but we had to about sell our souls to get the Wednesday appointment when he said it was all cool, pull out the tube at the surgeon's.

    It wouldn't be so bad them not knowing, but today was the worst yet and the ER people were just the worst. Just like, duh, dunno... go somewhere else unless you get home and it happens all over again.

    I mean it's been happening for month. It seems so obvious to me that something is really, really wrong and they still don't know what.

  6. mistywild profile image61
    mistywildposted 13 years ago

    I will pray for you and Bill, for healing, strenght and patience.

  7. charanjeet kaur profile image62
    charanjeet kaurposted 13 years ago

    May God give you all the strength you need. Your partner is counting on you for being strong for him. I will surely pray for him and you. Take care and be strong. Keep us posted of his recovery.

  8. wyanjen profile image72
    wyanjenposted 13 years ago


    I'm sure you feel unhelpful, but I am also sure you are not actually unhelpful.
    Your concern and frustration are proof smile

    There is no worse feeling than when you try to get help, and people just go ahead and blow you off.
    I'm sorry you are going through this.
    You are in my thoughts!


  9. profile image0
    Nelle Hoxieposted 13 years ago

    Pam, I think it's time for a second or third opinion.

    These doctors don't seem to be very good at figuring things out or very sympathetic with his situation. Is there a choice of doctors in your area? I know in some areas specialists are in short supply.

    This situation sounds truly terrifying. Does his insurance have a nurse help line? I know that sounds corny. But when I was really sick two months ago, the RNs there were so wonderful. I could call at two am when I woke up scared. And they said if I didn't like my doctor they could recommend others. Luckily for me that wasn't a problem.

    It's so scary when you sick and they know what to do. I can't imagine how scary it is when they're clueless. You are in my thoughts, please keep use posted.

  10. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 13 years ago

    How awful to still be in the dark. Pam, so sorry to hear that your partner is still not out of the woods.
    Strength to you both.
    regards Zsuzsy

  11. Amanda Severn profile image95
    Amanda Severnposted 13 years ago

    Pam, I just came back to this thread to see if you'd been able to post any updates. I hope there's some positive news soon. Take care.

  12. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 13 years ago

    Thank you for all your good wishes, prayers, and kind words.

    The night I wrote this I ended up taking him to the ER of the other big hospital here. (Not the one where the team that did his surgery and then said 'get lost' when it all went south practices} and they admitted him again and we've been here ever since. It's a teaching hospital and the better of the two but his insurance company will only pay 60% because the other one is their preferred provider. At this point we don't care what the insurance company prefers or what any of it costs, we just want him to get well instead of sicker and sicker.

    It turns out the *routine* surgery he had in October did not get all of the problem. Now he has a bile leak into his abdominal cavity. They tried to repair it last night nonsurgically by inserting a stent using a scope down into his GI tract, but that isn't working so today they will have to do a more major surgery to fix the mess the last surgical team at the other hospital made and repair the leak that is shutting down his GI system and causing the intense pain. It's scary. I'm kind of in a fog--had maybe 8 hours of sleep over the past three days and have been at the hospital the whole time. Yesterday his sister and her husband brought me my lap top and some clean clothes.

    So that's they update. I'll come back and let you know how it goes.

  13. emievil profile image68
    emievilposted 13 years ago

    My prayers go to you and Bill Pam. Hope the second surgery goes well.

  14. Pearldiver profile image69
    Pearldiverposted 13 years ago

    Hi Pam.... Sorry to hear that; but having identified the problem (properly) it is a relatively minor op to fix it; though puts him back into a 3-6 weeks recovery process.
    I have a friend here who went through possibly the same problem. Don't dispair Pam; try to stay positive; it's 2/3rds of the wellness. Take Care. smile

  15. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 13 years ago

    Thank you Pam for taking the time out to keep your other family here up todate. My thoughts are with you.

    Teaching Hospitals seem to be the better places to go to as far as I can tell. Keeping my fingers crossed that they get your partner all patched up properly this time around and you both can put this behind you.

    Strength to you both.

  16. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 13 years ago

    Thanks everyone. I do think the problem has finally been correctly diagnosed and now they can fix it. I have a lot of confidence in the doctors here. They really took a lot of time to figure this out, finally, and I think they have. Hopefully the surgery will enable him to finally start recovering instead of just suffering endlessly, over and over.

    PD--Yes I was doing some research online, and it seems that although this is fairly rare it still happens more than you'd expect. I think I will feel more positive when I'm able to to sleep more than an hour or two at a stretch. It's been a long haul, but way harder on him than me. smile

    Once he is finally recovering he's going to want to run right back to his 14 hour workday but I am going to make sure that does not happen. Whatever it takes, that's how long he'll be home. He's so worried about losing his job but what good is a job is it's killing you? So first things first.

  17. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    Best wishes that he's finally on the way to recovery, Pam.  It's been a long haul, hasn't it..

    This is yet another one of those cases when it's obvious something else was wrong but apparently "like pulling teeth" to get someone to pay attention.  It's good they seem to have finally identified the problem.  Chances are he'll be all set now.

  18. Niteriter profile image60
    Niteriterposted 13 years ago

    I wish the both of you a speedy return to your normal life.

  19. Patty Inglish, MS profile image87
    Patty Inglish, MSposted 13 years ago

    You and Bill have my prayers for healing and full recovery as well. No one should have to endure this mess.


  20. kirstenblog profile image80
    kirstenblogposted 13 years ago

    What a mess to go through! It sounds like its starting to get sorted and I sure hope that things have taken that turn towards health. I really hate when money is more important then people, quality care first, worry about the bills later, when good health will lend itself to a solution smile

  21. Amanda Severn profile image95
    Amanda Severnposted 13 years ago

    Good to hear that the new hospital is on top of things. I hope Bill is well on the road to recovery now. Take care. x

  22. rmcrayne profile image92
    rmcrayneposted 13 years ago

    Wow Pam, I am so sorry you and Bill are under such stress.  Take care of yourself.  Maybe consider getting yourself some desiccated adrenal?  It can be a great anti-anxiety supplement, and fortify your adrenals from the ongoing mental stress. 

    When you both look back on all of this, I don’t think Bill’s view is going to be that you were “unhelpful”. 

    Looks like you guys made a brave and great decision by switching hospitals.  Maybe they can restore faith in the healthcare system for a lot of us.  I’m sure it’s the least of your worries right now, but sounds like you might have some grounds for appeal on the insurance percentage.  When the dust settles, I’d find a friend in the insurance industry and figure out what their “keywords” are. 

    I so hope Bill will respond to reason re:  your concerns about the role of his job and long hours in his health.  People can verbalize the role of stress in health, but most of the time it seems to stop there. 

    Sending positive thoughts and energy your way…

  23. Sufidreamer profile image82
    Sufidreamerposted 13 years ago

    Sorry I was late to the thread - I was forced offline for a few days mad

    Please send our best wishes to Bill - the poor fella has been through a lot. Hope that they have managed to fix it, this time.

    Make sure that you look after yourself, Pam - Bill needs his Rock to lean against, but even stone can break under stress. hmm


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