This is scary to me as parent

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   JeanMeriamposted 13 years ago

   I am working on a few hubs about preschool, and raising young children. When I did my keyword searches a lot of what popped up was completely inappropriate. I expected that, what I did not expect was 100 000 000 hits on these topics. Seriously is it time to hide my kids in the closet?

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   all the more reason to write quality articles! I too am amazed at the junk that is online about raising children.  a lot of it is just people wanting to make money, their pages are littered with ads.
   
   it's a highly searched topic because so many need quality advice.
   kids are getting more difficult to raise because many parents are too busy to raise their own children!!  so they give them everything and then wonder why they have lost control.

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      Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.  It's also on the school systems.  A lot of the effective means of punishment that were used when we were children and beyond are now concidered abuse.  That word has taken on a disturbingly broad definition and has parents scared to reprimand their children for fear of the state being called in.  Yes, there are parents who punish too harshly and cross the line.  I avoid spanking as much as possible, more so now that they are older and can understand what I talk to them about but blatant disrespect will have a swift swat.  That being said, there are some children who are so out of control that I sometimes want to walk up and spank the child myself.  There needs to be a balance but the kids of today know that all they have to do is tell their teacher their parents beat them (got a spanking) or starve them (sent to bed without dinner) or neglect them (put in time out) or some other exaggeration and the state's all over it. 
      
      It takes a village to raise a child and today's parents are being told to figure it out themselves-don't interfere with my child but I will be watching every step you take.

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         JeanMeriamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Oh yeah. Most of the advice on the web is pretty bad and the quickie articles that are churned out over and over with the same worthless advice is awful.
         But I was talking about the searches for photos and video that people are doing.

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            china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            it does not surprise me much. My partner here, who is young pretty chinese girl, occasionally goes onto sites for English, the latest was Livemocha, against my advice she put her picture up. She has been 'contacted' by people under the 'I want to learn Chinese' heading around 20 times now by guys who exclusively try to get the conversation to sex. Going through the history it shows that they mention a totally innapropriate topic within 3 to 5 exchanges. The last is typical, within 5 lines he is lying naked in front of his virtual fire talking about his dick and a dildo and how she would enjoy sex with him. As you say - the really scary thing is how many there are.

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   Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

   What do you mean as "inappropriate"? Do you mean you found adult type of searches with kids? If so sadly that is very common. If you mean the way they raise kids that's totally different.

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      JeanMeriamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I meant they were looking for photos. I just wasn’t expecting so many. It’s actually making me feel really paranoid.

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         Bill Manningposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Ooohhh yeah, there is lots of that. Whatever you have noticed is just a tiny bit of what goes on out there. As someone who has studied the dark side of the web there is no end to what you can find as far as searches goes.
         
         Even worst is that results will come up no matter how bad it is. Don't let it get you down. The truth is all these people have always been there, always will be here.
         
         It's like murders, if you really search for that you will see it's very common and you can think everyone is out to kill everyone! So don't let it warp your mind.
         
         Just know that most of those searches come from a small group of people, related to the world as a whole. But yes, you do have to watch out today, always.

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         Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I know there is a lot on the web but I've been trying to put my head in the sand for as long as possible.  We have three boys and two girls.  I know it's bragging but my girls are pretty and I worry enough about them growing up that I'm avoiding the topic of public sites until they are older.  I want to ban them from using the internet at all without an adult standing there but I don't want them to feel like I don't trust them or make them social outcasts for not having a myspace or facebook page.  It's all so confusing today!  All I really know is that technology scares me!!

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            china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            It is not the technology - it is what is out there. But you should not be scared, it has always been there, just not visible as it is here. Educate your kids about it and be honest with them is the best bet as they are going to face it on there own at some point. It may be hard to do, like explaining babies etc, but that is part of parenting I think and the stronger and more confidently you do it the more of the right impression you will make on them.

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         Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         me too. I dont email pics of my kids ever. And I got a printer so I can print all my pics myself, Id rather be paranoid then sorry.

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   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

   this is the pedaphiles work space, their office.
   parents need to be vigilant unless you want some jerk behind a computer doing his 'thing'. one reason I don't post a pic on my profile. they download and add to their 'collection'.
   lots of sic people online.

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   awareposted 13 years ago

   jean. scary is to make light of the real problems with information  engines . and statics gathering

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   Dame Scribeposted 13 years ago

   Now, that would make a good Hub topic ease and availability of such searches

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   awareposted 13 years ago

   not just that but convicted felons their always on a list therefor sentenced to life

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   Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years ago

   I second that!

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   Mishaposted 13 years ago

   Somehow it does not scare me a tiny bit

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      Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I applaud your confidence!! I wish I had some.   There are a lot of bad people in this world and my kids, my girls especially, are so naive.  I want to teach them without scaring them into paranoia or losing their compassionate edge.

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    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    Me either Misha.
    The secret is to communicate and listen to your kids from when they are infants. They will tell you everything they see and hear that is unusual on the net, as they will never fear your response.
    The young ones in our family also have very good filters and access to trusted sites only.

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       Chaotic Chicaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I'm feeling more and more over-protective by the minute! It's not my kids I don't trust, it's their ability to spot a phony on the internet.  That being said, my girls are who I'm most worried about and the oldest of them is 8 so she's not allowed to surf anyway.  I have a tendency to worry about the future a tad too much! Clearly!

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       Mishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yep, communication is the key - as always

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    Ivorwenposted 13 years ago

    There are so many pictures of children online, that I am not too worried about it.  I keep their real names off  of the Internet, but that doesn't stop others from using them. 
    
    I have a blog with many pictures of the kids, and the only post that has been frequently found through searches is one of all their feet.  I can tell from the stats that people do not look deeper into the blog, to find other pictures, so do not see these things as a threat.

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    rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

    I don't think you have to be scared, just very aware. be involved in your kids lives. the young girls can be too trusting thinking they're being nice. teach them to be assertive and to speak up if they don't feel right about something, not to feel embarrassed to tell (adult) something. honest and open communication beginning at an early age.

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