Persistent Negative Emails from a Reader

1. 82

   Aya Katzposted 13 years ago

   I've been receiving persistent negative emails from someone who originally contacted me via Hubpages. I gave her a polite answer explaining my position over a year ago, but since I started my blog, she has been sending really discouraging comments almost every day. I asked her to stop emailing me or I would report her.
   
   Can I report her? To whom? How do I stop receiving these emails and also arrange for her to know they were not even seen by me?

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      Betty Reidposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I would set up your email account so that emails from this sender automatically go to your trash.  I don't know if you can report her.

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         Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I wonder if there is some way to make the emails bounce back to her, so she'll realize that there's no use, and move on.

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            wyanjenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Macs can do that.
            Mail has a feature called "bounce" - it returns to sender. Savvy people who can read e-mail headers will see that it was delivered, then bounced, but to the un-savvy it appears as though the e-mail address is invalid.
            PC people - is there such a feature in Windows land?
            
            It doesn't work for normal spam, but I've found it can work very well for stalkers.

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      myownworldposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to hear about this Aya... I think I would report her directly to HP team and from personal experience, I know how prompt and helpful they are in such matters. After that, just ignore..and delete the emails. Replying only encourages them.
      Take care and try not to take anything personally here. It's the one lesson I try not to forget.

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         Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks, MyOwnWorld. That sounds like sensible advice.

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   Mishaposted 13 years ago

   Just report her. You should have done this long ago

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      Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Besides reporting her to Hubpages staff, where else can I report her? She's not a Hubpages regular. I think she must be some kind of animal rights activist.

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         Mishaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Well, I probably misread your original question. If she has your email address and emails you directly (not through Hubpages), there is no point in reporting her to HP. Just ignore her, set the rule in your mailbox to mark the mail from this sender as spam, and never read it.

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            Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah, she has my email. She lay dormant for about a year after our first exchange. It seems that my blog brought her out of the woodwork again.

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   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   Forward the emails to me, I will compose email replies "from you" that will make her go away.  I'm usually pretty good at that sort of thing.  Plus, it's fun!
   
   One of my favorite lines from the movie Riddick (which I LOVE), is:
   In normal times, evil would be fought by good. But in times like these, well, it should be fought by another kind of evil.

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      Rishy Richposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ...If u need any assistance, just let me knw. I can b handy sometimes

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         Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Good to know! ;->

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      ngurecoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I too would be interested in hiring this kind of services to sort a few issues here and there. What is your fee?

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         Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         The joy of it.  A false sense of heroics while "fighting" a cyber bully... something to do while I drink.   It's its own reward, really. 

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      ilmdamailyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Lol, I love that movie!
      
      Something tells me that hate mail from you Shade would be quite devastating to receive - I get the feeling from your writing you'd be quite eloquent at causing offence without recourse to crassness - the kind of stuff that hits home. 
      
      Maybe a hub topic? How to write effective hate mail :-)

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         Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         DUDE!  That is an awesome idea.  Maybe I'll write that in the next 1 hub in 30 minute challenge!
         
         I'll give you credit for the idea, obviously, and some link love.  Who doesn't want themselves associated with sarcasm, cruelty and vitriol!

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            ilmdamailyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            lol, yes please!
            
            Sarcasm, cruelty and vitriol  - i'd love to hear your tips on how to deploy them effectively:-)
            
            Will keep my eyes peeled to your profile ready for the hub!

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      Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Shadesbreath, thanks for the offer! I may yet take you up on it. But for the time being I'll see if a more conventional solution doesn't do the trick.  ;->

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      Kathryn LJposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Brilliant!!!  I like Riddick too.  Good offer and good quote.

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4. 71

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Also, if matters- all email accounts have a blocking mechanism in place. So, block the email address, this way anything that is sent is directly deposited in your trash.

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      Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks,Cagsil. How about a bounce mechanism or a Pre-packaged announcement that the account user has blocked the sender?

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5. 69

   ilmdamailyposted 13 years ago

   Congratulations - you have a reader!
   
   I think most of us would kill for a reader devoted enough to contact us for such a period.
   
   Most of us (guilty here!) subconsciously expect that readers will be lovely, agreeable folks that gush about our views on a chosen topic. Though for content to really engage with an audience, the audience doesn't always have to like it - take shock radio DJ's as an example. Sometimes the best way to get through to a person is to really p*ss them off. 
   
   Look at the bright side: you've written content that has really hit a nerve and must be incredibly engaging! Good work.
   
   How to deal with it? If his/her comments are valid, take them on board, update your hub or change your opinion. If they're not, just respond to them calmly and rationally - in a public forum if appropriate.
   
   Good luck!

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      ilmdamailyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Actually, another thought occurs...how about intentionally provoking her? If she's that into the topic that much that she can't walk away after a year, then how about just poking her with a stick (metaphorically speaking)? Chances are if she's that passionate about a topic, she'll know others are who also share her view. Enrage her enough and she wont be able to help telling them = more readers:-)
      
      A hit is a hit is a hit. I don't think that google adsense gauges the purity of a clicker's intentions:-)

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         Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         That would be good advice,in general, except that it seems to be just this one, isolated nutcase.

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      Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's kind of what I thought at first, too. She subscribed to my YouTube account and she does seem to be a regular reader of my blog. I did answer her in a few blog entries that obliquely addressed her points -- but she keeps coming back with these rude emails, and I'm afraid that if I read too much negativity, it might end up having some sort of effect on my own well being.
      
      Besides, at this point she keeps repeating herself.

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         ilmdamailyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Damn. Why can't nutcases be better integrated in society!
         
         I take your point - in an ideal world we'd be able to just "brush-off" the negativity of others, but after a while even the most emotionally resilient person can be affected by it. It's even worse for writers isn't it? It would matter less if we were criticised doing something our heart wasn't in - but no matter what we write about, an element of ourselves is inevitably embedded in it, and criticism - justified or not - can cut deep.
         
         I'm not sure how to get her to stop sending abusive emails...though I hope she'll just tire soon enough!

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            Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I think she will tire of it if she gets no feedback, even obliquely. Yes, we can all brush off a few unpleasant encounters, but constant negativity can be draining.

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   staff swabhimanposted 13 years ago

   to play bouncer ball is as well  important as to play shortpitch ball and through up the boundry.

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7. 82

   Aya Katzposted 13 years ago

   We have a "one hub in thirty minutes challenge"? Wow! The competition must be really intense!

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      Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Actually, it's not an official thing, just something a few bored hubbers and I did a couple times on Friday nights to amuse ourselves.
      
      This is the forum thread on the one two nights ago:
      http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/42777
      
      And this one was like a month and a half go:
      http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/39875

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         Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         And, it was quite fun to do!

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   Aya Katzposted 13 years ago

   Sounds like fun! But I think it would depend on how fast your internet service provider is running as to whether it could be done at all...

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   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   Aya, besides reporting her, and besides blocking the address she's been using; you may want to send one final email to her saying, "You've shared your thoughts in earlier emails.  I've asked you not to continue to email me. I have a record of all your emails that have followed my request you stop writing to me.  Any further emails that appear to come from you will be considered "harassment"; and harassment, as you must know, can pose legal consequences for anyone who harasses another."
   
   http://www.netsafe.org.nz/Doc_Library/n … alking.pdf
   
   I don't know if it would work or be worth your bother, but it has worked for me in similar situations (not necessarily related to my online writing but related to get messages I didn't want.

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      Aya Katzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Lisa. I did, in fact, send her a similar email when it started. I said that I had answered her questions when I believed her interest to be genuine, but that her use of negative language revealed that she had already made up her mind. I then asked her to desist from sending further emails. I said if she persisted, I would report her.  This did not impress her, as she wanted to know to whom. And she had a point there, as there seems to be no central authority in such matters. But I didn't specifically use the word harassment.

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    Richieb799posted 13 years ago

    I was going to say this Emailer sounds like a right Bunny Boiler, but then I saw the part about Animal Rights Activist

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11. 0

    kimberlyslyricsposted 13 years ago

    I say hit it head on-most are cowards - we're behind you
    
    

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12. 71

    thisisoliposted 13 years ago

    How bad are they, you can report these people for harassment.
    
    There are plenty of filters you can use though.

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