I have been on hubpages for a long time now, and during that time I have noticed the people from Melbourne Australia are without question smarter, better looking, taller, better educated, more tolerant, worldly and generally better than the rest of you.
On this basis I would like all Melbournite hubbers to rise up in revolt and lead the world in a new direction, away from the silliness of those British, American Asians and Europeans and on to glory.
So would all of you other hubbers who are not fortunate enough to live in Melbourne or smart enough to be Melbournites please sign a partition of support? Thank you very much.
So, LOLOLOL, do all of those super-smart Melbournites know the difference between a partition and a petition?
Is signing a partition like leaving graffiti on the Great Wall of China?
But maybe you're right about them being taller and better-looking. Don't know about better-educated. But more tolerant? Not so much. Keep trying, though, it's terrifically entertaining to see how your tolerance is evolving.
I'll sign that petition, heck I'm from Melbourne, and I don't understand most other people, must be the fact that we cannot hear them over how awesome we Melbournites are. Also in other news......am working towards annexing Melbourne from the rest of Australia and creating, The Peoples Republic Of Melbourne, what ya reckon Earnest ?
Strewth!!! Glad we still got those Esky's mate, otherwise we'd end up drier than a frogs bum. After we fire up the barbie and throw on a few Roo steaks, we need to also work out how to sink Tassie........ that lil blight on Melbourne, just south of us.....and for those not in the know, South Australia is just proof Tasmanian's can swim...
We got a partition to tow that peace of flotsum out to sea or sell it to those crazy New Zealanders, but Eric got on hubpages showing both his heads at once, ( lucky he didn't flash the third one, Tasmanians do that! ) Anyway New Zealand got cold feet so sinking it sounds like the best plan!
I've had to cut back on Tasmanians since the last oil spill.
Have you noticed the Americans trying to out do everyone with there disasters? They always have to be the biggest. Did you know Texas will fit inside Western Australia 5 times? Not a bad place to put Texas... nobody goes to Western Australia.
I worked in South Australia for a while Kanga. Had to live in a church. South Australia doesn't have any houses, just thousands of churches. We don't let them come to Melbourne from Adelaide or anywhere else in South Australia. Sniffer dogs. Ya can smell the religion on em a mile off!
Well we Melbournites are diplomats to a man, so how about instead of going to war, we will give you Tasmania, delivered to a port of your choosing, and you give up your silly fantasies of being able to play cricket, or be as awesome as we Melbournites are in any way at all OK?
Okay - enough already! The real reason partition is a good idea is to keep you drongo's locked in with yer bananas and barbies and tinnies -whatever they all are, they sound pornographic !!
If you ever got out of yer backyards and into the real world you would find that not everyone thinks croc wrestling is at all funny, and those silly hats with corks on whoever thought they were a good idea to wear to pull a sheila. And Yabbies, WTF are they !!!
Hmmmmmm, reading back through the thread I saw the good old aussie "drongo", a fine word, much maligned. Like most words used by Australian, it's meaning changes depending on the context it is said in, such as "he's a good old bastard" Having said that. I got banned for using drongo once!
There is as all Melbournites know, only one beer in the world that does not taste like warm camel piss, and that is Victoria Bitter!
Tee Hee Hee, no that warm camel schlonker schtuff is Sydney Bitter, XXXX, West End, Swan Lager although I do pretend that even if the waters of James Boag are from Tassie, surely its brewed in Melbourne ?
Sorry - where is malbourne again ? I looked at my map and found a biggish island that is a desert with a teeny weeny thread of green around it - and a few small towns. Are you at the end of one of those camel trails I saw ?
My friends here tell me that it is all Chinese people there, with one or two grizzly white guys wandering about speaking some language that is not like any English they learn here. You guys must be those grizzlies then ?
No - hang on - I got it now !!! if you zoom in you can even see the one horse wandering down the main street, and smoke coming up from the little fires in the backyards. I hope you guys get gas and electric soon so you can use indoor cookers and stuff.
Well, I do know Sydney, but here is a little know fact about Australia. Sydney is also the name of a small town on a pond with a small coat hanger for a bridge somewhere in another state half a world away, so I have heard of it too.
Nah - I mean what you call cities, and the rest of the world would rate a small town mate !! Well just taking the @iss generally really
I have just moved from Wuhan in China to Guilin, a small city; Wuhan has more students enrolled at any one time in its universities and colleges than the total population of most of your 'cities' But I am doing my best to teach em all English so they can fill up all those empty spaces for you !
I accidently adopted a Chinese child, now his girlfriend and her sister are crazy about all things Japanese as well as Chinese although they are both English, and my adopted son having just dumped uni for bricklaying is taking up Japanese and heading for Japan he told me yesterday.
Australia has become confusing! Kids are all crazy! send Help!
But first remember, Melbourne must be in control of the world soon. We Melbournians are smarter than the rest of you, so it is natural really that we should control the planet from here!
Please ignore our Federal election coverage.
It was all done with smoke and mirrors by people who are not true Melbournites!
All my ancestors were criminals! Some were criminally insane, and some were just legally insane! It's a crime I say! But they never hurt no bananas! They euthanized them before partaking! I would be proud to have some Melbournian blood, but I'm not sure if they would give me any! Once you have taken over the world, I will apply for the head of crime and keeping bananas on the straight and narrow!
You know how it is, a family that preys together, stays together! Yes we all care about feeling bananas! It is a form of self flagellation! Or perhaps an extension of it! I think Paul Simon put it aptly we he sang, "Who do who do you think your fooling, I'm a constipated man!"
Oh earnest! honey! no... no... no... You've got it all wrong! See? I'm not from Australia. I'm from Miami, Florida. So, yeah... the description fits correctly but you have to change the coordinates for your partition.
Check on your family tree Klara, it may be that you have Melbourne blood in your family. Any criminals in your family? We Melbournites are mostly convicts, so if you have you could be related to a Melbournian.
A much more likely explanation, as I have been to Miami and you guys are only chosen for retirement.
I beleive Earnest, if we check the records back far enough you will most likely find that klarawiecks earlier relatives were convicts sent to Melbourne, but the ship only landed here and they were then redirected back to the UK after picking up additional convicts, thence shipped onwards to Boston, MA whence the US was not quite formed and was still under 13 Colonies rule. Her relatives thence migrated down south to the areas of Florida now where she resides.
Other than that I feel I just typed a bloody good story
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