When Hell Freezes Over

1. 61

   paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

   I am doing a project and am looking for quotes to add to it.
   
   Examples:
   
   Politicians will become honest.
   
   Lindsay Lohan will stop getting arrested.
   
   Cable companies will stop robbing people blind.
   
   Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will stop being an a$$hole.
   
   
   You get the idea.

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      TIMETRAVELER2posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      We're not suing for the money.  We just don't want this to happen to anybody else.

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      TIMETRAVELER2posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Google will consider HP to be the best site on the internet and will rank all of its articles on page 1!

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      1. 59

         gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         When one of the Duggar children become a heavy metalist rock star a la Alice Cooper!
         When Gabourey Sidibe loses a 100 hundred pounds and becomes the most beautiful woman in Hollywood!
         When Quiverfull women have 1-2 children.
         When politicians care about their constituents.
         When all religionists and atheists get along.

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            Castlepalomaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            When love wins over fear over the entire world.

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               Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               http://www.metrolyrics.com/no-no-no-lyr … urple.html
               
               ---> "Must we let them fool us? No no no
               Have we got our freedom? No no no
               Is it getting better? No no no
               Do we love each other? No no no
               ---> Must we wait forever? No no no, no"

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      2. 90

         Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         !

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   3. 61

      eugbugposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Google will rank articles in searches based on quality

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   4. 61

      The Examiner-1posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I hope that hell does freeze over.

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2. 61

   SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

   the world will be at peace

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   1. 61

      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed.

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   2. 61

      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Version added. Thanks!

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3. 78

   AEvansposted 14 years ago

   People will get along

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      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Give me the worst offenders.

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4. 86

   timorousposted 14 years ago

   Every office will finally go paperless

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      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I don't remember seeing you in awhile.

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         timorousposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         True, I haven't been around the forums that much, although I've written 3 new hubs recently. Cheers.

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   2. 61

      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Version added. Thanks!

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5. 71

   livewithrichardposted 14 years ago

   I'll stop defending my country...
   
   The Cubs will win the World Series...
   
   Newt Gingrich will become POTUS...
   
      

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   1. 61

      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Same here, but too serious.
      
      This one might get a worthy reaction.
      
      Poor Newt.

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6. 56

   SanXuaryposted 14 years ago

   Do you remember me from a previous life? You, Me, Your gun.

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   1. 61

      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Let me check your profile... Side note, I really haven't yet. So stay tuned.

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7. 61

   paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

   I'd like humor as well as seriousness. Too much of either one will kill it.

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8. 61

   paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

   I read your profile and 2 of your hubs. You are waaayyy too serious for this thread.
   
   I want to say more. Start your own thread and we can go from there.

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9. 80

   habeeposted 14 years ago

   Telemarketers will give up.
   
   Junk mail will be outlawed.
   
   Products advertised on TV won't include, "But wait! If you order now...!"

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   1. 61

      paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Gold!

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         habeeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         

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         1. 61

            paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Serious, added 2 of the critters.

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10. 61

    paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

    As opposed to all else.

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11. 61

    paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

    Flies and chihuahuas stop being obnoxious.

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12. 71

    livewithrichardposted 14 years ago

    Vanilla Ice will be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

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13. 61

    paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

    btw, just wanted to say thanks to everyone.

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14. 67

    Diane Insideposted 14 years ago

    Theists and Atheists finally have something on which to agree.

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15. 82

    Marcy Goodfleischposted 14 years ago

    Reality shows will have class
    
    TV stars will stop using Botox
    
    The National Debt will be paid off
    
    Starbucks will stop selling coffee

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       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       @Marcy: How did your post slip by me? Loved it. Added 3 of them.
       
       @All: I am looking for more.

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          paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          All four.

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16. 41

    wavegirl22posted 14 years ago

    The New England Patriots just may win another Super Bowl with Brady at the helm.

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       Castlepalomaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Everyone decided on an One and only God and the atheist crawled back into the cracks of the earth without their bibles for protection.

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          Castlepalomaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          The Atheist Scientist Big Bang theory was proven 100% correct worldwide, Then most of the world population heads exploded and their brains dropped out

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    2. 86

       lbrummerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       wavegirl22, looks like hell froze over Febr. 1, 2015.  Tom Brady and the NE Patriots reign again?

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       1. 59

          gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          When Jim Bob  Duggar gets a vasectomy.

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             gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

             When Kim Kardashian becomes a recluse, never to be seen EVER again.

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                Writer Foxposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                You can get rid of her yourself with this new browser add-on: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/ … nline.html
                
                I bet the guy who invented that makes a small fortune!

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17. 61

    paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

    You are on a roll.

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       Castlepalomaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Gays became  legal in every country in the world  and the baby population dropped by 20%

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          Castlepalomaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          The cannabis plant became legal in every country in the world ,
          
          The 1% wealthiest people profits and Wars went down by 75%
          
          Pizza's and Adult Porn erected and went up as high as 1000%

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18. 59

    gmwilliamsposted 13 years ago

    When women priests are ordained by the Roman Catholic Church.
    When the Duggars undergo sterilization.
    When Madonna acts like a lady.
    When an atheist became the President of the United States.

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       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I had to look up the Duggars; wished I hadn't...

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       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Follow-up: added all of them.

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          TIMETRAVELER2posted 11 years agoin reply to this

          When telemarketers stop calling!

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             gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

             When parents have children only when they can afford to take care of financially, emotionally, & psychologically, providing them with a life of myriad choices & opportunities beyond that of the mere rudiments & constant socioeconomic struggle.

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19. 0

    An AYMposted 13 years ago

    I'll remember to zip up my fly before I leave.
    
    Pop stars will play their own instruments.
    
    Batman will open his own private security firm.
    
    People will make educated statements and decisions about politics.

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    1. 61

       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Excellent!

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       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Follow up. Added 3 of the 4. Had to pass on the zipper one.

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20. 0

    Bronwyn J Hansenposted 13 years ago

    America will mind its own business
    Gold Coast will win the flag
    "Climate change" will be exposed as the second Y2K bug

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    1. 61

       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I took 2 of the 3.
       
       For those who have not figured it out yet, yes, politics, etc. is fine. I wont let one side bury the other, but, other than that, all views will be included.

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21. 51

    janderson99posted 13 years ago

    Climate change means freezing is debunked

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    1. 61

       Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       PDS will stop posting threads.
       Google will decide that algorithms are futile.
       There will be no such thing as content scrapers
       Hollie will eventually grow up and get a proper job.

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       1. 61

          paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Don't wish it away
          Don't look at it like it's forever
          Between you and me
          I could honestly say
          That things can only get better
          
          And while I'm away
          Dust out the demons inside
          And it won't be long
          Before you and me run
          To the place in our hearts
          Where we hide
          
          And I guess that's why
          They call it the blues
          Time on my hands
          Could be time spent with you
          Laughing like children
          Living like lovers
          Rolling like thunder under the covers
          And I guess that's why
          They call it the blues
          
          Just stare into space
          Picture my face in your hands
          Live for each second
          Without hesitation
          And never forget I'm your man
          
          Without me girl
          Cry in the night if it helps
          But more than ever I simply love you
          More than I love life itself
          
          And I guess that's why
          They call it the blues
          Time on my hands
          Could be time spent with you
          Laughing like children
          Living like lovers
          Rolling like thunder under the covers
          And I guess that's why
          They call it the blues
          
          Wait on me girl
          Cry in the night if it helps
          But more than ever I simply love you
          More than I love life itself
          
          And I guess that's why
          They call it the blues
          Time on my hands
          Could be time spent with you
          Laughing like children
          Living like lovers
          Rolling like thunder under the covers
          And I guess that's why
          They call it the blues
          
          To fade.
          
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6KYAVn8ons

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22. 61

    tammybarnetteposted 13 years ago

    The wealthy will step up and pay off the national debt

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Lol!!!
       Would'nt that change the history of mankind

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23. 80

    habeeposted 13 years ago

    Dogs will stop licking their private parts.
    
    Cats will actually give a F about what their owners want.
    
    Good ole boys will stop drinking coldbeer. (Yes, that's a single word in the South - accent on first syllable.)
    
    The GOP will run a gay candidate.
    
    President Obama will toss his teleprompter and deliver a speech without "Let me be clear..."

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24. 61

    WryLiltposted 13 years ago

    Cord blood banks will stop cannibalising our children.

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25. 61

    Sherry Hewinsposted 13 years ago

    The preachers on TV will start sending cash to me

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26. 59

    gmwilliamsposted 13 years ago

    I am not going to hog up your post, para.   However I want to add some more things:
    
    When Donald Trump acts like a human being instead of a pompous and egotistical #$%#@.
    When celebrity children stop writing negative tell all books about their parents.
    When people's status and worth are not determined by how much money they make.
    When there is a true meritocracy in the corporate world.

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27. 64

    cfinposted 13 years ago

    When the food supplies of the planet are distributed, near even.

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28. 61

    paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

    Jeez!!! All of these are awesome posts! I'm busy incorporating them as we speak.

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    wavegirl22posted 13 years ago

    Then peace will guide the planets. And love will steer the stars.

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30. 60

    fpherj48posted 13 years ago

    "When Hell freezes over"........
    
    Every human being will accept responsibility for their own actions.
    We will all marry our IDEAL life-partner, the FIRST time.
    Apologies will no longer, ever be necessary.
    Women will stop obsessing over, body image and aging.
    Adults and Teens will be in complete agreement.

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31. 77

    austinhealyposted 13 years ago

    When hell freezes over :
    Cute pink littles piggies will no longer be able to fly and will happily crash into our windows making funny happy noises, while the cows coming home look at each other, shake their head in disbelief and say : "What has this world come down to?"

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    1. 76

       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       When wars make no sense and the money is given to the poor
       
       When most people love their job for most waking hours of their life
       
       When the rich must live by the highest natural enviorment standards and laws.

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32. 59

    gmwilliamsposted 13 years ago

    When LGBT people are fully accepted and respected.
    When there is neither parental/familial favoritsm nor parental/familial disfavoritism.
    When parents no longer compare one child to another.
    When poor children obtain the same quality of education as rich children.
    When introverts be just as respected/valued as extroverts are.

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    FitnezzJimposted 11 years ago

    When Congressmen apologize to each other for engaging in name-calling.
    
    Photographic evidence is available by doing an internet search for the keywords: 'road to hell sign' with the search qualifier 'site:mackers-world.com'.
    
    Enjoy.

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    Suzanne Dayposted 11 years ago

    Machines and robots will let us live a life of leisure.

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       gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       That may become reality, it is a probability that such will come to fruition.

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          Suzanne Dayposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Then again, it might not, just like the paperless office was supposed to create less work.

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35. 85

    TheGutterMonkeyposted 10 years ago

    Hitler will have a new ice skating rink.

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36. 67

    lisavanvorstposted 10 years ago

    When we as society are no longer drowning in debt.
    When the government balances its budget.
    When Politicians do what they say once elected.
    When there is a cure for diseases so the Pharmaceutical companies don't get rich.
    When we as a country are no longer fighting any wars.

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    Jocelyn Rainposted 10 years ago

    Money will stop having a value.
    
    Nickelback will start making good music.
    
    Kanye West will stop loving himself.
    
    Internet Explorer will be the most used browser.

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       When poor people make intelligent and educated choices to improve their lives thus getting out of poverty.
       When couples have children that they can financially, emotionally, and socioeconomically support without outside assistance and without assistance from older siblings.
       When people become mature, conscientious parents.
       When poor people stop looking for socioeconomic support from their government and/or more affluent family members.

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    Patty Inglish, MSposted 10 years ago

    Televangelists will give away all their money.
    
    Scammers will stop preying on the elderly.

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       .........and the otherwise vulnerable, naïve, and challenged.

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39. 59

    gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

    When couples responsibly and effectively use birth control.

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40. 90

    Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

    When Artists are not taxed.

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    C.V.Rajanposted 10 years ago

    Poverty will be eradicated from earth.
    All TV channels will stop advertisements.
    Theists will become non-believers.
    Sportsmen will retire at their peak.
    Pop stars will be level headed.
    Smoking will become non-existent.
    Americans will stop growing pets
    All marriages will last a lifetime.
    Google will stop tweaking SE Algorithm.

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       Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       - whats wrong with pets, senior sportsmen, advertisements and the ending of bad marriages??

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          Castlepalomaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          He is picky.

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             Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

             very.

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42. 86

    quicksandposted 10 years ago

    The state will tweak all our online articles and optimize them for the search engines!   

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    lestatstownhouseposted 10 years ago

    When people stop having kids just so they can get government assistance.

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       +1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000-when people STOP having large/very large families ALTOGETHER and realize that small families are BEST!

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    gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

    When there's a one class system in America.

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       Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       ---isn't that the goal of socialism?

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          gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          .............and the more Liberal Democrats and of course, Obama.

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45. 90

    Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

    *When people understand how precious their children are and can take care of them with an awareness of their true needs.
    
    * when differences are accepted
    
    *when families are more helpful to their offspring no matter what their age, especially when they have fallen on hard times.
    
    *When people can live independently of their families AND/OR the gov't.
    
    *when society is allowed to live, grow and expand through less gov't strangulation of ever increasing taxes, fees, licensing, regulations and restrictions.

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       gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Those things MAY come to fruition as people become more evolved and aware.  Kathryn, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE YET.  What you have presented is a possibility..........Have faith!

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          Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          sigh….
          we are going into winter, gm and you know it.
          But I agree, those of us who were born in the summer have to keep the faith!  We know it can be good again… even better than way back in the good 'ol good/bad days!
          I hope so anyway.

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46. 61

    Sherry Hewinsposted 10 years ago

    Rats fly and winos don’t get high;
    The sun don’t shine and murder ain’t a crime;
    More means less and no means yes;
    Ice is hot and fire is not;
    James Brown ain’t funky and King Kong ain’t a monkey;
    The preachers on TV start sending cash to me;
    Your mamma’s too tired to talk and the dead get up and walk;
    The lamb lays down with the beast and there’s peace in the middle east

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       Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Are these lyrics?

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          Sherry Hewinsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          Very astute of you. Yes they are lyrics from the song "I'll Take you Back" by David Bromberg. https://vimeo.com/87119568
          
          Here's another: When rattlesnakes have knees and money grows on trees.

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       quicksandposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       That was interesting!   

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47. 59

    gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

    When my hubscore becomes a 100.  Long time ago it was 99.  Then it was in the very high 80s, even in the low 90s.  To put it more succinctly, it was in the low to middle 90s then it DESCENDED to the high 80s, now........THIS------->81(HISSSS)
    

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       Sherry Hewinsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I went away for six months, when I came back my score was 100

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