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Can a selfish person love themselves?

  1. Cagsil profile image61
    Cagsilposted 6 years ago

    Hey Gang,

    Please feel free to weigh in. I'm just curious to hear what people think about the title. wink

    Thank you in advance.

    1. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I...think that's all they DO love.....

      1. Cagsil profile image61
        Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Is love or is falsified?

        1. profile image0
          Brenda Durhamposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          I dunno.

          Wonder if selfishness is defined the same as narcissism?  And if narcissism is considered a disease/handicap or is by choice?

          1. Cagsil profile image61
            Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Okay.
            I'm not sure, never bothered to look up the definitions.
            It's not a handicap that I know of, so that leaves choice. wink

    2. Shahid Bukhari profile image59
      Shahid Bukhariposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      "Self-ish" are those ... who cannot exercise the capacity ... ironically, for no good reason ... to love others ... so they hate everything ...

      The selfish are, thus, ones, who, not only cannot love anyone ...but also, hate themselves.

    3. earnestshub profile image89
      earnestshubposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      No they do not. Selfish people don't love themselves at all, so no hope of loving others.

      1. Cagsil profile image61
        Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Agreed Earnest. smile

    4. zob2zob profile image60
      zob2zobposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Surely they are the only person that they are able to love, anything more would be a conflict of interest and involve sharing which would almost immediately spark off the green eyed monster.....

    5. couturepopcafe profile image61
      couturepopcafeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Often, a selfish person is the product of a family with siblings.  Someone who has learned to protect what is theirs, to not share.  Even without siblings, parents can inflict the notion that a child should 'share' everything with other children, even those the child may instinctively see as rude.  Another child grabs and mommy says, "share your toys/candy/clothes/money/time" whatever.  Give of yourself before you even know what it means to be giving, a very adult concept.  So the child grows up knowing that he needs to hold close to the vest all that he holds dear.  It can create psychological holes that only a lifetime of loving can repair.

      The selfish person is often conflicted.  They love - parents, siblings, children, spouse - but do not want to give of themselves.  They are in a way, shut down.  They can learn to love themselves eventually, but this will also seem selfish to them.  It will be a conscious decision and will take years to accomplish in truth.

      1. Max_Power profile image61
        Max_Powerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Great answer!

        1. Surfraz profile image61
          Surfrazposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          yes i agree with you. they have to be selfish, so only they protect their family with lots of love and care.

    6. Surfraz profile image61
      Surfrazposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      They love themselves very much that's why they are SELFISH..

  2. Rafini profile image88
    Rafiniposted 6 years ago

    About the title or about the thought?

    As a title, great!  As a thought...well, no.  A selfish person only knows how to take, and love requires the ability to give and receive.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Rafini, considering I'm always trying to get people to think, I would have to say the thought. As for it being a great title? Oh, okay. lol

      1. Rafini profile image88
        Rafiniposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        lol  well, I think you know what I mean, lol, no issues with it!  big_smile

        1. Cagsil profile image61
          Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Nice to see you and hope things are well?  smile

          1. Rafini profile image88
            Rafiniposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            yep.  just enjoying the political unrest surrounding me every day. lol 

            you? smile

            1. Cagsil profile image61
              Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              Not too much, but doing well. smile

  3. shogan profile image85
    shoganposted 6 years ago

    It's falsified.  Selfish people praise themselves for understanding love, when really, it's self-adoration.  Love requires a depth of feeling that selfishness prohibits.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Nicely said. smile

  4. Stevennix2001 profile image83
    Stevennix2001posted 6 years ago

    I think the problem is that selfish people are incapable of loving anyone else but themselves, and they only hear whatever the hell they want to hear.  In fact, I used to be best friends with a guy that was so self obsessed with his own life that he would literally tell you his life story every single damn day.  If you even tried to correct him or tell him that you already know the story, then he'd upset and say that your not a good friend. 

    The problem with people that are selfish is that they only care about their own needs and thinks of love as a form of it always being about them, and nothing more.  Therefore, I think your real question SHOULD be if a selfish person is capable of loving anyone else but themselves.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting post.

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
        Stevennix2001posted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks.  Interesting how though?  In a good way? Or a bad way? Sorry, I'm just curious.

        1. Cagsil profile image61
          Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Comparing your post to Shogan's post. The difference between the two is what I found interesting. It was a "eureka" moment thing in something I just learned. wink

          1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
            Stevennix2001posted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Oh okay. I gotcha.  Yeah, I can definitely see the difference there between me and Shogan's post.  Although another theory could be in how the child is raised since birth.

            1. Cagsil profile image61
              Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              I agree. Selfish people will raise selfish children. wink

              1. profile image0
                DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                not always. smile

          2. shogan profile image85
            shoganposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            If I played any part at all in your learning something, I sincerely apologize!  wink

            In other news, we're getting close to the first game of Spring Training for the Sox, Cags.

            1. Cagsil profile image61
              Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

              Hey Shogan, I learn from everyone. But, thank you though. wink And, you're right- baseball season is approaching. smile

              1. shogan profile image85
                shoganposted 6 years agoin reply to this

                I'll stop after this (no hijacking intended), but I'm just so pumped for the season!

  5. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 6 years ago

    Did you really want discussion, or were you just running the title by us to see if would make a good hub title or what?  Either way is fine; just curious.  I'm picturing you giggling at us as the thread takes on a life of its own and meanders into a zillion pages....haha

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      lol

      I'm curious about what people think about it. That's all. I had no plan for a hub, come to think of it. However, I'm sure it would make for interesting reading, depending on how it was done. wink

      Discussion is good either way. If the thread get too many pages, I'm sure people will be off topic. tongue

  6. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 6 years ago

    Okay. I have a little twist to add to it.

    Is being "self-involved" the same as being selfish?

    ..I know sometimes people are so wrapped up in their own problems or situations that they just don't seem to be able to see what's happening to anyone else around them.....and maybe they would help others if they could, but they can only focus on themselves.

    And that self-involvement may not be love; it could even stem from disliking one's self..

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Okay.
      Interesting post. However, I have only one issue- "maybe they would help other if they could, but they can only focus on themselves"- I'm understanding that the word "focus" is with regards to financial distress. Because, anyone who doesn't help others for any other reason is selfish.

      One must look out for themselves first and foremost. One's survival is a must. However, should a person do nothing to help anyone all of their life, means that they lived a selfish life.

      A person who lives a Self-interest type of life, lives to better themselves, so they are always in self improvement mode.

  7. AnythingArtzy profile image78
    AnythingArtzyposted 6 years ago

    I think the selfishness comes from a lack of knowing how to love themselves.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I would agree. wink

  8. evvy_09 profile image72
    evvy_09posted 6 years ago

    Selfish is defined by being devoted to or caring only for oneself. Only concerned for one's own needs, interests and welfare regardless of others.  So that seems to answer is a selfish person can love themselves.  As someone stated love requires give and take.  It's possible a person can give and take of themselves. 
    But the real question might be: can a selfish person love another person?  The term love itself is very difficult to define, since it means different things to each person. But humour me, and look up the definition of love.  Go down a little into the definitions and two of them are:  to have an intense desire or emotional attachment.  To need or require, benefit greatly from.

    So just some different thoughts thrown in to stir up the pot tongue

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting Evvy. smile

      1. evvy_09 profile image72
        evvy_09posted 6 years agoin reply to this

        The subject is interesting to me too.

    2. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      The only word in your description would be "devoted" - that would insinuate love, but since love is pure honesty, a selfish person could never love themselves, because they never realize that they are selfish. They don't see themselves as selfish. But, their actions speaks volumes. Even, if the action is to do nothing.
      In a truly selfish extreme, it would be impossible, but to those who are selfish(not to the extreme, but in many actions) possibly could give and take, so long as it was rationalized out as some later benefit due or expected.
      It goes to show how skewed definitions are. wink

  9. cheaptrick profile image74
    cheaptrickposted 6 years ago

    Not to but in here but did anyone mention Narcissus the Greek mini god who fell in love with himself when he saw his reflection in a pool?Narcissism,we all have some....some less...some more...^^^^

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      No, it was not mentioned, but Narcissism was brought up. But, the individual you speak of wasn't. Thank you smile

  10. know one profile image61
    know oneposted 6 years ago

    I think a selfish person thinks all others are not worthy. Deep down a selfish person must know that their own selfish behaviour makes them unworthy. This would be an unacceptable truth to them. The superficial love they have for themselves (their ego) must be conditional upon an absence of true self awareness... for they cannot truly love and give to someone who is unworthy. But to maintain this unhealthy state the selfish person must also maintain unworthiness. They actually can't win. Unless of course they become selfless... in which case they would know deep and true love for themselves.... and probably a deeper form of love from others.

    smile

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Nicely said. smile

      1. Jewels profile image84
        Jewelsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        I do think though, that in today's busy world where every sense of awareness is turned toward outside influences, first you need to become selfish to then become selfless.

        It has been touted that for one to do a spiritual transformation (not talking religion here), is actually self indulgent.  It's a necessary phase to deconstruct the influences that have conditioned your existence - ie parents, school, piers, church, government etc.   Once you find the 'true self' underneath that conditioning, you then become selfless.  Only this selfless giving is full of a depth of love, not only for the receiver, but in turn for the giver.

        1. Cagsil profile image61
          Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          Nice post. smile

        2. earnestshub profile image89
          earnestshubposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          I agree Jewels. True love is a doing and giving thing, one can't give something one does not already have.

  11. profile image55
    ken138888posted 6 years ago

    NO,i do not think so.

    1. Castlepaloma profile image30
      Castlepalomaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting topic

      I send most of my waking hours in life, loving my job.  My mother told me I was being selfish. I said to her, times have changed, I am being self serve in order to serve others better, if you do not like your job you will not master life.

      Being self serve first, is not being selfish as long as you always consider others in the process with adjusting mistakes.

      1. Cagsil profile image61
        Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Hey Castle, it's actually called self interest. I wrote a hub on it. smile

  12. profile image0
    Chrisjoyposted 6 years ago

    There is nothing selfish in loving yourself as until you can love yourself you cannot love another as you would not understand what love is.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      First off, I didn't suggest loving oneself was selfish. But, I agree with the rest of your post. smile

  13. optimus grimlock profile image54
    optimus grimlockposted 6 years ago

    I love me long time lol

  14. earnestshub profile image89
    earnestshubposted 6 years ago

    I believe that self love is evident in a genuine ability to give. Not something that selfishness is associated with usually. smile

  15. profile image67
    logic,commonsenseposted 6 years ago

    After a bout of self love, you don't have to cuddle or say nice things.  You can turn off the computer and go to bed! smile

  16. profile image58
    albertmgposted 6 years ago

    Selfishness is way away from love.  Love begets love, so one who can love himself will definitely have love growing for others.

  17. NathanielZhu profile image78
    NathanielZhuposted 6 years ago

    It's because they love themselves too much that they are selfish

  18. Donna Suthard profile image81
    Donna Suthardposted 6 years ago

    I believe that when you are only absorbed with self, in love only with self, thats its called narcissism!
    Since everyone is a part of our self, by truly loving them, we are loving our self.
    Babies and small children live in a me world, until they are taught to love others...unfortunately, most of the world are still infants in infancy..They only care about their own ego needs....the relationships of the world have been selfish, but eventually they usually learn through pain, and thus begin a process of learning to love others....

  19. LeeWalls profile image60
    LeeWallsposted 6 years ago

    I would say that a selfish person is so self-absorbed, they're narcissists. They don't think about anyone but themselves and no one matters but them.

    1. gmwilliams profile image81
      gmwilliamsposted 17 months agoin reply to this

      Selfish people DO love themselves.  They also want THE BEST for themselves.  They believe that there is nothing wrong with putting themselves first.  They are the healthiest people around.  They let others know when they stand.  They aren't afraid to establish boundaries with others as to what they will & won't tolerate.  They refuse to buy into the notion of being self-sacrificing, giving, & putting others' needs before their own.  They see believe that the concept of selflessness is a form of self-hatred which is emotionally, mentally, psychologically, & even psychically unhealthy.


      It is quite healthy & normal to be selfish.  Selfish isn't a bad word however our society & culture make it out to be.   People should live their best lives & have the best.  Giving to others causes others to expect handouts & make them never want to do things for themselves but wait for others to do for them.  Also giving to others causes people to take advantage.  Selfish people will never have the problem of others taking advantage of them.  They respect themselves FAR TOO MUCH!

    2. gmwilliams profile image81
      gmwilliamsposted 17 months agoin reply to this

      You're saying that like it is a BAD thing which it ......ISN'T!
      http://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12737911.jpg

 
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