In the situation that I saw first-hand, my friend was doing well and so was his girl. Then he lost his job. I remember him...buying her a lot of jewelry. Now, you'd THINK that the female in the relationship that was prepping to be a doctor and going to med school WOULDN'T be a gold digger, but I'm having a hard time arguing that right now...
In another situation, the guy was doing very well and then lost his job. (Much more recent.) He was trying to find a job. Literally door-to-door asking for work. When he was about to lose his apartment, the girl gives him the news that the relationship is over.
A SMART woman would, why stick w/an UNEMPLOYED loser. If a man DOESN'T bring anything to the table, a woman DOESN'T need him & would be FOOLISH to stay with him. Find a man w/a JOB, Jeez..... It is apparent that there are people who love LOSERS! NO JOB, NO RELATIONSHIP.......People can't be this asinine!
Being in this position myself, I can somewhat agree with someone who drops a partner because of lack of work. This is usually the case for those people who live together in the same space. It's usually because one can no longer support the two of you on one income. This happened to me with my partner of 20+ years. We lost our apartment, because we could not afford to live there, and since we each had family we could fall back on, we now live apart. We tried everything to stay together, but it just wasn't going to work. Including living with my brother, which was even worse.
But, for a couple who does not share expenses, if one drops the other over a job, there is probably an alternate reason that they have for wanting to end the relationship, and there probably won't be any discussion on saving that relationship. If you are not already living together, chances are, you really did not want to commit to that relationship in the first place.
A lot of people do enter relationships for financial gain. I was accused of that, even after my partner lost his job, and I was the sole money earner for more than 8 years. I was still considered the gold digger that ruined my partners life, even though I was really committed to it. That used to drive me nuts! It took getting us through hardship to see that I truly cared, even though all my friends were telling me to drop my partner like a rock, right after he lost his job. I refused. Don't regret it for a second. That's how much I care.
I applaud you, brimancandy. If this had been posted in the Questions section (which I will no longer do because I don't get the traffic I'm looking for), I would vote this as 'best answer.' Regarding what I've seen, sometimes the couple IS financially dependent, and sometimes not so much. The med student that dumped my friend? They weren't even CLOSE to living together.
As you said, "If you are not already living together, chances are, you really did not want to commit to that relationship in the first place." I am still amazed those two stayed together as long as they did.
"I was still considered the gold digger that ruined my partners life, even though I was really committed to it. That used to drive me nuts!" I'm sorry to hear that. That sounds absolutely infuriating.
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