Is divorce the best answer to a troubled marriage?

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  1. accofranco profile image78
    accofrancoposted 14 years ago

    A cousin of mine,who got married last four years,has been experiencing continuous misunderstanding with his wife,and him being close to me,just mailed me that he feels like divorcing his wife,based on some facts he explained in the mail,he now asked for my advice,what should i tell him house mates?Please help me?

    1. my-success-guru profile image57
      my-success-guruposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      A divorce should only be used as a last resort. Too many people are too willing to through in the towel and quit because they think they will find the right person or found the right person outside of marriage. I think a lot of relationships would work out better if people focused on becoming the right person instead of trying to find the right person.

      1. VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image59
        VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        You are the right person... (otherwise)

    2. Shil1978 profile image87
      Shil1978posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      How about seeking a third person's opinion, perhaps a counselor's, about the "misunderstanding?" Usually, misunderstandings can be cleared if they are just that - misunderstandings.

  2. Uninvited Writer profile image83
    Uninvited Writerposted 14 years ago
  3. VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image59
    VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 14 years ago

    After a divorce, the man or woman tend to go in for a fresh relationship. He has no guarantee that the new one will come with him or her. So, good or bad.. we should learn to live with what we have got. Moreover, woman getting married and divorced and again married will spoil a whole society. Woman shoud understand that they are the guardians of culture and civilisation. If they err, the society as a whole is at loss.
    Women going to the top honours means that the society is enlightened. Wherever women are illtreated, it means it is a barbarian-land. (This does not mean that women can overstep their limits).

    1. LondonGirl profile image80
      LondonGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I am so very glad I don't live in a society where lots of people think this way.

      You want to keep women down, and blame them for what goes wrong. That stinks.

      1. JamaGenee profile image80
        JamaGeneeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        LG, I wholeheartedly agree with you! "Overstep their limits", indeed!  *That* mindset is truly barbarian!

        1. Shil1978 profile image87
          Shil1978posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I guess there are still some Neanderthals around!

  4. ctpi262 profile image60
    ctpi262posted 14 years ago

    A divorce can have rippling effects that may not be seen right away. I would agree and say it should be a last resort. Without having all the details of this situation I would suggest some kind of counseling and a valid effort from both parties to see if it can be worked out.

  5. Anamika S profile image68
    Anamika Sposted 14 years ago

    Divorse is not always the best answer. First of all, your cousin and wife should go for councilling and try to sort out differences before taking any such step.

  6. Edwin Clark profile image63
    Edwin Clarkposted 14 years ago

    Sure, if a marriage is causing a lot of trouble in two peoples lives then why not. Better than being miserable all the time.

  7. lawretta profile image60
    lawrettaposted 14 years ago

    I think working problems out no matter how bad is better than an escape route called "divorce".

    1. LondonGirl profile image80
      LondonGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      What if one spouse uses the other as a punchbag?

  8. profile image49
    badcompany99posted 14 years ago

    Like everything in life my friends people just can't be bothered putting any effort in. We live in a lazy takeaway world where people expect instant results for zero effort. Oh for the old values that my old Gran lived by, those were indeed the days.

  9. Edwin Clark profile image63
    Edwin Clarkposted 14 years ago

    Well sometimes in life things can't be solved and smoothed out. Yes, I know there are plenty of frivilous divorces. However there are instances where divorce is the only option. The other is being not divorced and miserable or end up killing one another, which tragically happens.

    It's not about being lazy and just calling quits. If two good people can't be happy together even though they've gone through all the counseling and whatever and they still can't get along then I think a divorce is reasonable.

  10. aniketgore profile image60
    aniketgoreposted 14 years ago

    Divorce cant be answer to the troubled marriage. may be counseling should help to solve the problem.

  11. profile image0
    jjrubioposted 14 years ago

    From someone who filed for divorce twice to the same person, was separated for over a year and finally reconciled. In this day and age with the poor economy and world issues I always reccomend if you can keep your marriage together then try...if it is a dangerous situation like abuse then I would hope that they leave in that case. But if its merely because you have grown apart and you want that fresh new start with a new love then I have news for you.....The new relationship will probably end up the same way down the road. That infatuation feeling goes away after a while and love lasts longer even if you don't always like the way the person is or maybe even agree on every issue. But love is love and once they are gone you may realize TOO LITTLE TOO LATE...

    I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE....And Divorce is a pain in the ass. Marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health till death!!! Not until you get bored or find a replacement...and if kids are involved...THATS WORSE.
    CHILD SUPPORT will screw the Non-Custodial parent. That is sad. And the kids suffer more than us.

  12. Marisa Wright profile image87
    Marisa Wrightposted 14 years ago

    When contemplating a divorce, there's one question you should always ask yourself:

    "If I decide to stay now, that means I'm committing to stay with this person FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  How do I feel about that?"

    If your reaction to this question is positive ("yes, that's what I really want, if only we could get over our current problems") - then you should move heaven and earth to save your marriage.

    If, on the other hand, your heart sinks at the thought - you'd be foolish to try and patch up your differences and limp on, because if you're unhappy now, it will only get worse.

    Veronica has some great Hubs on relationships.

  13. VENUGOPAL SIVAGNA profile image59
    VENUGOPAL SIVAGNAposted 14 years ago

    Ms.Londongirl, JamaGenee, and shil1978, all should know how to not to overstep their limits, they should come out of the barbarian land and enter the civilised land, and dont behave like Neanderthal-people.

    In Indian society, we keep women in high esteem, had one Prime minister and now a President. USA is yet to register a woman President. All our women will accept that they are better privileged in India than all of you in the western world. Most of our gods are She-Gods. All ills in the society are destroyed by our goddesses. Calling for civilised behaviour does not mean keeping women down... just calling them not to go down.


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