What do you do if an old guy friend calls you out of the blue?

1. 0

   girly_girl09posted 15 years ago

   I am posting this on here because if I call up any of my girlfriends they'll scream at me "OH MY GOD...just ignore it". hahahahaha They heard plenty about this guy back in the day. I simply can't put them through this again. Plus, it might be good to have some other opinions that aren't so jaded.
   
   I haven't spoken to him for 5 months or so. Of course he did not leave a message so I do not know exactly what he was calling about (maybe plans for the 4th). The last guy I had call me out of the blue waited ONE YEAR! It actually made me laugh. I told him off, obviously. This guy, is different. I've known him forever and we lost touch, mostly because I don't think he was impressed with a relationship I was in last year. He was really the only one of the few that knew about it and I could feel his disapproval.
   
   Although I could never picture us romantically involved now we've had a very strange history. I still care about him a lot but not romantically anymore.
   
   My gut instinct is that he's calling about the 4th of July. I miss him but I'm not sure if I miss everything else that goes along with being friends with him. It's really awkward.
   
   I feel a bit silly writing about this on here, but it's not something I want to discuss with my friends right now.
   
   So, what do you do when someone calls you out of the blue like that? Ignore? Call back?

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Drew Breezzyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      why not talk to him. he seems like he was a close friend to you at one point.

      replyreport
   2. 61

      tksenseiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      If you have no interest in the sense that he apparently does then just ignore it. Less trouble for both of you.

      replyreport
   3. 39

      Garrett McLeeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      That's a tough one.  I would answer the phone at least to see what's going on.

      replyreport
   4. 0

      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      If you care for him, then allow contact. Otherwise you'll keep on wondering what could have been.  Good Luck.

      replyreport
2. 70

   ledefensetechposted 15 years ago

   Well that would depend on what his intentions are.  Is he calling just to hang out, or is this an opening move of a campaign to court you?
   
   Of course you have to sort out your feelings about the whole situation first.  It sounds like you're friendly with this guy but you don't want anything more.  Actually it sounds as if you're curious about it possibly becoming more, which can be worse in a way.  That's why my first suggestion is to figure out why he's contacted you.  My guess is that it's an opening play to try to date. 
   
   That's why it's important to decide how you feel first, that way you don't act in a way that is inconsistent with being friends or dating.  The worst thing you can do is waffle from one pole to the other.  Decide, then act.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Vishalatasniyaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Nice

      replyreport
3. 75

   livewithrichardposted 15 years ago

   I contacted my ex out of the blue after not speaking for nearly 20 years.  We're now engaged to be married.  I guess it was curiosity that led me to send off that email but when I got a response 10 minutes later, it caught me off guard.  I wasn't expecting any response at all.  The email led to a phone call then to a visit and so on.
   
   I wouldn't sit around waiting on another call if I were you but now that you know he tried to contact you, you have time to get your thoughts together.  Without knowing your history like your friends do, it would be hard for any of us to give you advice.  From what little I have learned abut you here on HP girlygirl, I would say trust your instincts.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Vishalatasniyaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Nice

      replyreport
4. 61

   Laughing Momposted 15 years ago

   I'd say go with your gut.  My own belief is that if he wants to make plans with you, he'll call you back.  But you're the one who knows him.  If you really want to call him, there's no harm in that.  It's friendly conversation.  You can decide from what he has to say how you want to react.

   replyreport
5. 79

   SweetiePieposted 15 years ago

   I have met several men over the last couple of years who act like they want to date me intially, and at first everything is good, but then they drop off the planet.  Others simply wait a few months to call, but honestly I wish they would just forget my number.  There was one guy I liked and I used to call him when he seemed to have forgotten about me, but then I stopped because I realized what a waste of time that was.  He recently called me and asked why I do not call him anymore, and I said I just do not see the point.  I am not going to be rude and I will talk to them if I happen to pick up the phone when they call, but I am not going to return their messages. 
   
   A couple have accused me of being mad at them for not calling or returning their calls, but honestly it has just got to the point I do not care.  If someone cannot consistently show they are interested in me then why would I be interested?  I try to be nice to everyone and friendly if they do call, but I have no time for the back and forth.

   replyreport
6. 0

   girly_girl09posted 15 years ago

   thanks for all the responses.
   
   I still have to think about it a little more. It really took me off guard. And, I'm the one that preaches not to overanalyze guys in one of my hubs!!!! lol I am usually very good when it comes to interpreting guys and their motives, but never have been with this particular one.
   
   My blackberry battery just died so I think I'll plug it in to charge and hopefully make my decision before it's completed it's charge.
   
   I suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk to him but as Sweetie Pie said, I am also not sure of the point of it all. 5 months is a long time and while we were just friends, it's still a long time to go. Even longer considering that we had never gone that long without any form of communication.
   
   I was seeing someone a few months ago and am wondering if this guy that called me out of the blue found out from our mutual friend who was visiting the state over the weekend that I'm not seeing anyone now. (hopefully that made sense...I tried lol) But, just because I was dating someone shouldn't of had any impact on our friendship and lack of communication. It's very awkward!

   replyreport
7. 79

   SweetiePieposted 15 years ago

   Personally I do not even care to analyze the behavior of men because each person is an individual, and even an individual can change over time.  However, you could ask yourself if you do not see this man as the potential love of your life than why even worry about it.  If he was some random female acquaintance you probably might even forget to call back, so you could try thinking of him that way too.

   replyreport
8. 0

   sbeakrposted 15 years ago

   Call him!
   
   (that's my vote)
   
   Curiosity doesn't always kill the cat.
   
   It's one thing if an abusive mule bounces in and out of your life.  It's another if the mule is good company and keeps his feet to himself.
   
   If the dude's not a douche, I'll say it again:
   
   Call him!  Call him!
   
   (you know you wanna)

   replyreport
9. 75

   Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

   Lifes very short
   Just do it
   Its notlike yer gonna marry the guy (well least not this week)lol
   Enjoy whatever your decision

   replyreport
   1. 71

      alekhouseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      My feelings exactly!

      replyreport
   2. 60

      Vishalatasniyaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Nice

      replyreport
10. 60

    Mrvoodooposted 15 years ago

    I vote for 'call him' too, this is kind of exciting, and it's not even anything to do with me! lol

    replyreport
11. 0

    fierycjposted 15 years ago

    I feel like I just stumbled into one of those wuchmacallit - corny date shows. You guys kill me, really. Hey, I get a kick out of a girl asking a bunch of strangers advice on who the hell she should date...Only in Hubpages. LOL.

    replyreport
12. 60

    jenny88posted 15 years ago

    Hey
    Your only here once!!!
    
    Life is for enjoying but try!!!!! and stay in control of your emotiions
    
    Jenz

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Vishalatasniyaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Nice

       replyreport