Do Women sacrifice more?

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   Lady_Eposted 15 years ago

   Do you think women sacrifice more in a relationship/Marriage?
   
   1.    They have kids and 7 times out of 10, this affects their body and some even their self esteem.
   
   2.    In most cases if a man has his job relocated the whole family would move but if it is the woman, they might not necessarily move. She would find another job.
   
   3.    When a woman has a baby, as beautiful as that maybe, there is a hold on her career/studies.
   
   4.    Cooking / Cleaning the house. I know some men do it but most of the time it is the women.
   
   Just a few examples, all done in the name of Love but do women sacrifice more?
   
   Just wondering...

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      Davinagirl3posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I am a stay at home mom, but I don't feel like I have sacrificed my job for my daughter.  I am happy to be at home with my daughter.  My husband works two jobs to support his family. He sacrifices more than I do. I don't believe either gender naturally sacrifices more.

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         tksenseiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         That's a good sentiment!

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      hardrubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      i agree with you,,, girls sacrifice more than us guys,, thats why now im in the right age im doing my best to give back all the good things that my mom did for us... because i came from a broken family, that is why my mom did all the best thing's she can do to make a living for us. even the worst thing you can ever imagine that a mother can do for her children.
          thats why i salute all the girls around the world,,, hope all us guys treasure them very much... stop hurting them... SPECIALLY YOU FATHERS WHO COMMITS FORBIDDEN RELATIONS.
      
      hardrub

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         Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Hardrub and welcome to Hubpages.

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      dgrosinposted 15 years agoin reply to this

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      In my sociological text is concerned with, in some ways, this issue. Namely, analyze roots and differentiation of human growing up. This is a quote. The entire text can be found on my profile...
      
      "Treatment of sex segregation in the lives of people began very early, even in childhood, through the unequal relations between parents, but not only them, according to male and female children, and as such, runs through all of society and epoch. It is, therefore, on its "habits" transfer, the construction, the dominant (mainly patriarchal) culture and social system, traditionally rooted stereotypical images of male and female, and so that "every human individual is already become part of the birth specific community, which affect it which has its own characteristic ways of regulation of life and norms characteristic of his behavior "(Rot, 2003:139). "And socialization is a process in which the only biological individual is born with human potencijama to the adult, autonomous socio-cultural personality" (Milic, 2001:233). However, we must draw attention, as said, is that emphasis on social, not, certainly existing, organic, gender differences in accordance with these and so grounded socijalisation children. In a word, we talk about male and female gender that are formed through socialization."
      
      Regards!

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      JKSophieposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      It takes two to Tango...so I guess, men have their fair share of sacrifices as well.

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      beautyroseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, always. woman is just to willing to sacrifice for love and family. Perhaps women are meant to be that way. Its just that we couldn't care less.

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      Poppa Bluesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      That depends on how you define "sacrifice". Is a decision to have children a sacrifice, or is it a selfish decision to bring love and joy into the home, an expression of hope for the future, and an effort to carry on family traditions, traits, and the family story? I don't believe sacrifice is the right word to describe the decision to have a child.
      
      As to a move for a job, again, I think such decisions are driven more by economics than gender, at least in sensible, logical adults that would be the case. If my wife made more money than me or got a job offer that would significantly improve our standard of living, I would support that, quit my job and move. Then too, if children are involved that might be a consideration as well.
      
      So no, I don't think women "sacrifice" more. I do thinnk women are very thoughtful and struggle more with such decisions then men do, but that is the nature of women. Women tend to examine decisions from more point's of view than men do. Women will consider how a decision might affect a loved one's feelings for example. They might consider how a decision NOT to have children might affect the feelings of their mother and perhaps they might decide to have a child not to deny their mother the ability to be a grandmother.

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         beautyroseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         ooh maybe. But I think women had sacrifice a lot already. Getting pregnant and giving birth is fearful but they sacrifice a lot because of love.

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         Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Deep comments. In your Para 2 - not a lot of men would do that out of their "Ego". I admire the fact that you would.  Thanks

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      jhdinteriorsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think women sacrifice as much as they allow themselves to sacrifice. If you set the ground rules from the beginning of a marriage, I think things will go well. It's when you start off doing everything and then expect your husband to jump in and help down the road that the lines get a little blurred. As for having babies, it does wreak havoc on our bodies, but what an amazing thing to be able to do that a man cannot do! Giving birth to my two children has been the greatest of my accomplishments.

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   fierycjposted 15 years ago

   Phew, if you put it that way. Lol. But seriously though, i think both sexes play a role in the sacrifice thingy. Or at least are supposed to. But its a tricky thing, If you think about it a bit. Imagine a man, who's whole life is more or less programmed from the get go, to end up with one woman, in the entire Universe and Realms afar. If that isn't sacrifice, NOTHING IS! Lol.

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      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Papi, are you implying that staying with one woman for the rest of your life is a sacrifice?

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         fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Taking the role of men in history into consideration, Ma - yes. But its a good sacrifice. In my opinion, sacrifice in general is only worth it if the one to whom you make the sacrifice for doesnt take it for granted.

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            Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Papi, no sweet Mami would take you for granted.
            Some nice hubs you published today. 

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               fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Well, Not every woman is as Sweet as you, Gurl. Thanks for your sweet comments on them.

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            Inspirepubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Wait a minute - isn't the woman also sacrificing by staying with only one MAN?
            
            Of all the "sacrifices" mentioned so far, that one is probably the most equal ...
            
            Jenny

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               fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               I said, taking history into consideration. Its always been that way, for men to have many women. Women didnt used to have a say. Its different, though.

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               Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               Actually Jenny you have got a point there. It made me think again. Some women stand by their man even when he's been a real pain. However, most of these women stay for the sake of the children. Now that is one big sacrifice - but again its done out of love for the Kids. 

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   B.Z. Alixandreposted 15 years ago

   I can only speak as a woman of the western US, but I think that men and women both choose their sacrifices.  Maybe many woman ultimately do, and yes the affect of birth on a woman is distinct, but, in this country it is a choice to have a child, and so the sacrifice is a choice.  Primarily though, it is a matter of perspective.  If you view something as a sacrifice, without recognizing what the sacrifice is for, a person will always view it negatively.  A sacrifice is an exchange, remove all the glory, faith, and etc that is often associated and it is purely economics.  A woman sacrifices her body for a child, so is the cost more than the gain?  If it is, hopefully that person doesn't have a child since that seems to be wildly unequal!  Who chooses who moves when?  Or who does the cooking.  A relationship is ideally about people making choices together, and if a woman decides to let the man make all the choices,  at least in this country, that is her choice, and so what is the sacrifice worth? And what about what the man sacrifices?  Usually in a relationship in the US, if the choice is between the man or the woman's family for holidays or nearness or any of that,  it is the woman's family.  If there is financial strain, it is usually the man who is asked to put in the longer hours, to forsake school for job.  Since the man is usually the "bread winner" he sacrifices time with his family.  Sacrifice is a difficult thing to measure, and more so to compare.

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      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I guess so B.Z.  Thanks for sharing.

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   emievilposted 15 years ago

   Off the bat? I would say yes. I mean women nowadays are juggling both career and family, something that men do not necessarily need to do. And generally speaking, women who prioritize their career may sacrifice their family and vice-versa. But, on second thought, I would say it depends.
   
   At present, we women already have our own choices, and if we make the choice to have a career and a family at the same time, we know what these entail and we should be prepared for it.
   
   I have also seen some reversal of roles in my culture, women are working and men are the ones staying at home. And with the kind of support system that we have in terms of extended families, more men in my country are the ones following their wives to their in-laws' homes or cities because the wives want to be near their family just in case they need help to take care of their babies / children. Of course, the men's family can also pitch in but it's not the same as having the wife's mother take care of her grandchildren.
   
   In the end, I don't want to think about who is sacrificing what, especially in terms of a relationship. Thinking about sacrifices, in the long run, will only make the 'sacrificing' wife or husband bitter about the other one and their relationship. I don't think it is healthy for a wife to keep portraying herself as the one always sacrificing in their relationship. I've seen this happen and it really really destroys a relationship. Just my take. Hi Lady_E .

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      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Cheers Emie 

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   girly_girl09posted 15 years ago

   In my family, yes. Don't know about others, but I'd imagine I'm not alone.
   
   My mother is one of the most selfless people on the planet. My father? He's a very selfish, thoughtless man that I have no respect for, whatsoever.
   
   Also, from experience, a lot of men act before thinking things through (more so than women) and while they do not intend to be selfish, their actions due to lack of control and impulses can sometimes on occasion appear selfish.

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      Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to hear this. Thanks though.  x

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      TamCorposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      And from my experience--it was the opposite...my father was the selfless one, and my mother the difficult one...
      
      All of the replies on here are opinions based on personal experience, for the most part.  It's perfectly natural to judge your opinions on what you've seen or lived through yourself, of course.
      
      So, based on my own life experiences--here are my opinions:
      
      When did it become a sacrifice to stay home with the child that YOU brought into this world?  Give up a career?  Which is really more important--the welfare of a child, or a career?  Sorry, but this is really a touchy subject with me...
      
      And as far as marriage--it's full of wanting to do what's best for you, your spouse, and your children. Some may consider some of their decisions sacrifices, and I suppose they are.
      
      My husband once had a severe infection in his foot--he had to have major surgery to save his foot, and his life.  We had three little children home at that time, and what does he do?  He ignored his doctor's advice to stay home and heal, and goes back to work within a few weeks. 
      
      He used a cane to get around while he was working as a painter--have you ever seen someone trying to paint walls while trying to balance himself with a cane? He didn't consider that a sacrifice--he was just doing what he thought was best for his family.
      
      Years later, he had severe back and leg pain, and could barely get around.  Doctor after doctor told him he would have to live with it, so for two years he did.  I used to see him struggle to get out of our car at the end of a hard day's work, and I would watch in tears as he stumbled in our front door from pain.  He would still insist on going places with us, even when he could barely walk--he even took us to a county fair once, and suffered terribly the whole time, just so our kids could have that experience.
      
      When he finally found a doctor and surgeon who could fix him up, he had the surgery, and again, within too short of an amount of time, he was back to work...again, with a cane.
      
      So please, don't tell me that women make the ultimate sacrifices in a marriage--it's just not true. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but I think the majority of relationships are based on BOTH husband and wife making the necessary choices--or sacrifices, if you prefer to call them that.

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         dennisemattposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         this made me cry. I wish I lived near you. I think we would be friends. Today, my husband is at work, with a seperated shoulder. a few years ago he went with a torn miniscus. He didnt think of it as sacrifce at ll. Its jsut what you do when yuo love soemone....oh yeah, he works for a landscaping co. trust me..its hard physical labor...
         If you think its a sacrifice, you need to reevaluate your priorities.

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            TamCorposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            this made me cry. I wish I lived near you. I think we would be friends. Today, my husband is at work, with a seperated shoulder. a few years ago he went with a torn miniscus. He didnt think of it as sacrifce at ll. Its jsut what you do when yuo love soemone....oh yeah, he works for a landscaping co. trust me..its hard physical labor...
            If you think its a sacrifice, you need to reevaluate your priorities.----------------------------------------
            
            Thanks, dennisematt...I have to admit, I was teary-eyed writing it.  There are just as many men out there who make "sacrifices" in a marriage as there are women--I just wish more people could see that.
            
            This was hard to write--I'm not normally an argumentative person, but sometimes you just have to speak up for what you believe in...
            
            I hope your husband gets better soon, that's terrible.  I know how hard landscaping can be--it's a tough job.

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         Tom Cornettposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         And I would do it again....it's about us....I left "Me" behind the day I fell in love and we became...a family.

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   tksenseiposted 15 years ago

   I think the simple answer to this thread is "yes."

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      cashmereposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      And i second that

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   Leta Sposted 15 years ago

   Around certain types of truly disagreeable nasty men, I'll bet the answer is a resounding, "Yes."  Followed, likely, with "Please, God, help me!"

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   andromidaposted 15 years ago

   In general women sacrifice more.I think its kind of natural to them.Maybe they love to sacrifice.

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      mydreamsRtrueposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      No we don't we need some freedom I think in marriage it should be 50/50 to work out as a coulple we have the babies , we cook, we clean, we do mostly everthing man , should at least help cook,clean, men produce the babies, but at least help with them and Wife have some freedom too! Enjoying being a wife, friend etc..!

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   Leta Sposted 15 years ago

   OK, while some of the above has shades of truth, and are definitely culturally enforced myths, often, nobody has to approach life from a position of weakness.
   
   There are reasons, for instance, that women live longer than men.  One of those reasons is flexibility.  Babies and children can be cared for by men as well as women.  I should know.  I live with a single dad.  And I certainly am NOT the one doing the parenting in the household.  The cooking and cleaning thing is also a myth.  Again, my guy disproves all that, as he is a bit too much (for my taste, lol, it borders on 'Felixism') of a cleaner.
   
   My sister recently had a baby.  She is now the slimmest she has ever been & in the best shape of her life because she CHOSE to work out and diet after having the baby.
   
   Much of this is just myth.  I don't think anyone has to fall for these age old beliefs.

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    Lady_Eposted 15 years ago

    Thank you Lita, Cashmere and Tksensei. I think so too but its done out of Love.

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    annvansposted 15 years ago

    In my opinion, I think they do sacrifice more.  They are usually cooking, cleaning, working and taking care of children.  Some men do cleaning, but most I know wont do any.  I had a short marriage and I do believe it was because I worked.  Next time I will not.  It is easier for me to live alone.  I refuse to cook, clean and work for someone else.  If I marry again it will be that I do not work.  There is too much to be done in the home for a woman to have to work.  Sure most women can work and clean and do all the things they do, but you reach burn out eventually.  This is just my opinion, but heck yes I think they sacrifice more, mostly in the respect of actual physical work.

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    apekshaposted 15 years ago

    women only sacrifices, not men as no similarity exactely ..in all things.

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    Beth100posted 15 years ago

    Man and woman both sacrifice throughout their lives.  What they sacrifice may not be exactly the same, but you cannot compare apples and organges.  We, as women, may sacrifice our bodies and health for bearing children, but men sacrifice their mental well being by taking on more stress of planning the future and taking the brunt of bread winning while his wife stays home to raise the children.  Each sacrifice has its merits and its downfalls, but to make a comparison is not possible.  Personally, I believe that both sexes make great sacrifices throughout their lifetime to benefit each other, themselves, their offspring and society.

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    LondonGirlposted 15 years ago

    My OH and I share housework equally, and I'm thinner and fitter than before my son was born (-:

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       Davinagirl3posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You are an inspiration.  My daughter is almost 9 months old and I have 10 lbs to go before I am back to my pre-baby weight.

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          tksenseiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Nice. Our boy is 10 months now.

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          LondonGirlposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I decided I was a bit too chubby pre-pregnancy, so once Isaac was a few months old, I was determined to weigh less than I had before. I really enjoy being fitter, too. Breastfeeding was great to help me shed weight!

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    Lady_Eposted 15 years ago

    Thanks for your comments everyone.  Its very interesting to read the different opinions you have and its nice to have some comments from the guys too. Cheers

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    lrohnerposted 15 years ago

    I think women do sacrifice more based solely on the fact that men can't get pregnant. (Cept for that one guy in the news....)
    
    And I won't accept any responses from any guy who has NOT passed a watermelon through his thingee whilst peeing!

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    pgrundyposted 15 years ago

    Studies show that if you judge by physical health only, marriage is on the whole better for men's health even if the marriage is bad (healthier than being divorced or single), but marriage is only good for a woman's health is she is happy in the marriage.
    
    Here's a link:
    
    http://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20030 … -for-women
    
    I don't know if that means women sacrifice more, but I do think marriage is not as universally beneficial for women as it is for men.

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    mydreamsRtrueposted 15 years ago

    it should be 50/50 i live it that way my lover works 6 hours away from home see him friday-monday only and the rest of the week it me only w/ 3 kids but when his home ?I'm my only self w/my friends and night he's all mine!

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    Valerie Fposted 15 years ago

    Given that in the US women still don't get equal pay for equal work, are more likely to be denied promotions on the basis of gender, are more likely to drop out of school for family reasons rather than just because they don't want to continue, and are much more frequently forced to choose between their careers and their families' best interests than men are, I'd say yes indeed. In the US, anyway, women do sacrifice more.

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    RedElfposted 15 years ago

    Absolutely - in any forum or endeavor...always.

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    love my yorkiesposted 15 years ago

    why do you think of these things as sacrifices?

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       psychicdog.netposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ...following that way lies a very interesting journey I think...

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    Mac Missionposted 15 years ago

    We men also sacrifies but nobody have recognized much.....!! we feel sad..... about that....

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       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I agree, I stayed in a marriage to protect a child, gave up my time to build a business, and sacrificed Holidays and breaks while I fended for my family as a young man starting out, I sacrificed to take care of my parents. My wife did similar things. I reckon it cuts both ways.

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       Lady_Eposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Totally agree with you. Don't feel sad. I'm just wondering who Sacrifices more... (and I know its all done in the name of love).

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    BODYandSOULposted 15 years ago

    Yes and No. depends on the family you're into.

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    \Brenda Scullyposted 15 years ago

    Personally, i would hate to feel I always have to go to work to earn the money.... My husband has never been out of work and has a strong sense of responsibility when it comes to earning for us all
    
    I like to spend the money on me when I work.... so in that respect I kinda feel sorry for the men...... does that make sense

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       beautyroseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       When a woman has work it gives her the sense of self fulfilling that you don't just depend on your husband though for some couple both needs to have job just to make both end meet.

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          \Brenda Scullyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I know what you mean but I am unemployed at the moment, and having to get him to go out to work more..... he does not mind, he sees it as his rule, but I would hate to have to do that and I would constantly complain....  he and many other men do not complain.  We have a grown up family now, so it is different.  I had to work when the kids were young... it's the attitude I am talking about hating sharing my money with everyone, when I HAD earned it

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             beautyroseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             I'm sorry. But correct me if I'm wrong. You caught my attention to the word you said. "hating sharing money with everyone". Does this mean that you don't want to share your blessings or your just to selfish to give.

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       dennisemattposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       yes, it does. I cried for weeks when I became a stay at home mom cuz I felt so awful taking my husbands hard earned money to buy mysefl socks. I felt so bad htat he owrked so ahrd, and I took his money. Its what he wanted tho. He gave up haveing "play" money for me. he chose to do this, because hes  a good, responsable, loving man.

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    mattressnextdayposted 15 years ago

    In my opinion, Both are Sacrificing at their end. This is only one aspect of life that you are showing in household. Just think the women they don't have kids. Women get job easily as secretary than men. Men have to sacrifice there. Women can earn a lot as they are earning. If women have to stay at home and take care of children then Men go out for work and earn for family. Many cases women dont like to work, so there is a big burden on Men to fulfill family daily needs.

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    dennisemattposted 15 years ago

    This is an interesting question. I feel like if its a sacrifice or not is all a matter of who is doing the sacrificing. I am a stay at home mother of 3 children. I had the cance to become the assistant mangager of where I worked, with the goal of moving on to be the manager of my own store soon, when I decided to stay home. I dont have a car of my own, I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, take out the trash, go to the dump, mangage the bills, if it happens in a house, its my job. I dont get to go shopping for fun like I did before kids, I dont go to partys, or out to dinenr. I do not consider this to be a sacrifice. I have chosen the job of wife and mother, and like any job, it has duties. These are my duties and I do them with love, joy, and pride. [ mostly.. ] To say my husband has "sacrificed" less simply becasue he didnt gain 15 pounds with pregnancy and doesnt do hosework seems a little funny. His life has changed just as much, only in different areas.

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    feeweewvposted 15 years ago

    Women sacrifice themselves.  Most women (that I know, anyway) give more of themselves and forget who they are as people.  In my opinion, men don't give nearly as much of theirselves as women do... physically, emotionally, mentally or with daily activities.

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       TamCorposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I'm sorry, but you have obviously not been around the same type of men that I have--not just my husband, but many other men that I know have sacrificed so much more than you can even imagine, feeweewv...
       
       It's time for women and men to quit seeing who is the biggest martyr in the relationship, and just concentrate on making their lives together the happiest they can...
       
       Believe me--It is NOT that hard to do...

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    Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

    Thanks jhdinteriors,
    interesting points.

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    Sexy jontyposted 14 years ago

    Always and will be ......
    
    It's one good characteristic of women ...... It will never change ...

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