if you had a hard childhood, did it help make you a better person as an adult?

1. 60

   nightwork4posted 14 years ago

   if you had a hard childhood, did it help make you a better person as an adult?
   
   for people who's childhood was bad, did you learn from it and give what wasn't given to you as you became an adult?
   
   

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2. 60

   hillriderposted 14 years ago

   I think so. I have lived my life without having to spank my kids. I have made sure they are given opportunities not made available to me and I will be there for them as they continue to grow although both my parents have passed.
   Having a hard childhood is relative to each persons perspective. I left home at 13, my younger brothers stayed. Said there was never any reason to have left. Our parents were tough but I have grown enough to realize that they did the best they were capable of at that time. Hopefully others will see our efforts in a similar light...

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3. 0

   L a d y f a c eposted 14 years ago

   I did have a hard childhood, fundamentalist family, father randomly disappeared, mother who never cared, raised by a few different people, secret siblings, physically abused, sheltered, running away, alone most often, social services, anxiety disorders and depression, meeting my father and siblings at 14, got a full time job on top of school and left at 15, father disappearing again at 17...
   
   There's your overview. I could write a hub on this. I like your question, here's me trying to answer it. I was in an extremely abusive relationship for 6 years, and didn't recognize the signs until it was [too late] , since the abuse was nothing compared to my childhood, and it spiraled from there. I think if I had not been abused as a child, maybe I wouldn't have been so ok with the way he treated me initially. I know previous abuse isn't a pre-requisite for later abuse, I just think mine made it easier to accept the latter.
   Since I was so sheltered and brainwashed, no tv or radio, put through extensive 'christian training'.. by the time I hit the real world, (high school) I was blind sighted by everyone. I didn't know people would lie and cheat and steal from you. I trusted everyone, and sincerely thought everyone was the same as me. No one ever told me to watch out for people hurting me, or how people should treat me. Reality is a huge, overwhelming slap in the face when you wander into it unprepared.
   I was naive and gullible. Because I was held back so much as a kid, when I finally got the chance to live, it was like a flood gate burst. No one told me about things like drugs or alcohol growing up.
   
   All of this, while giving me some issues, has indeed made me a better person, because that's the way I chose to deal with it (admittedly, medication helped). I'm 28 now and I stand up for myself, speak my mind, question everything, rarely trust anyone (maybe not so good), have a contained thirst for experience, have a thirst for knowledge, I appreciate the people close to me, I have a good sense of humour, and I'm raising my son to be a fully functional member of society, who has confidence, knowledge, as much logic as a kid can have, and knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is loved.

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4. 60

   vicki goodwinposted 14 years ago

   I believe that each child can grow into an amazing adult.  Going through very bad experiences can make the person more gentle and caring.  Having a difficult childhood can also produce an adult that understands how painful life can be. 
   
   Many adults that had painful and hard childhood years become more giving of their time and more aware of the needs of others.
   
   This depends on how the person chooses to behave once they become an adult.
   Sadly the opposite can be true as well. Some of the most hardened criminals and abusive people come from abuse and neglect themselves.
   So it can certainly produce a better person, but it depends on how the person chooses to grow from their past.

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5. 60

   Loving_Lifeposted 14 years ago

   I had a hard childhood and I think because of it Ive been a better adult. I learned from things that my parents did and said....
   
   Im a better parent than my parents ever were.....

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6. 71

   mcrawford76posted 14 years ago

   Yes, and no.
   
   Yes - Trials of life make you appreciate when you have it good, make you remember the hard times and to work hard to make sure you don't end up back there.
   
   No - If you're not making good choices as an adult it doesn't matter what kind of childhood you had. And I've seen too many with troubled lives blaming it on their childhood.

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7. 0

   kimberlyslyricsposted 14 years ago

   
   
   I am not sure it made me a better person.  Certainly more compassionate and humble.  No it did not give what I lacked now from when i was a child, which is the sole reason I am annoyingly searching for some form of validation at 44.  On an obnoxious level!  But it gave me the gift to help others/ I may just hub this,
   Thanks for a great queston nightwork!

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8. 49

   emmalousinugbojanposted 14 years ago

   I do have had a hard childhood experience since a kid, and it troubles me and depresses me even until now when I sensed that I did not reach the ultimate career id dreamed for .But, that hard experience taught me to become a good mom and wife in which I consider I'm good at, I make it a point that my son will never experience the pain  and hardship where financial matters were deprived, morally unsupported when needed; and even emotionally cursed and punished with painful and abusive words from my parents that triggered emotional violence and self low esteem. Now, as a mother, I'm still in turmoil with these experiences. but I'm fighting it by giving 100% love and care with my son and husband.

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9. 61

   acewebdesignposted 13 years ago

   I havent met a kind of person like this till now. So whatever I would say is on assumption. But I do know somebody who went through a horrible childhood..as shes an adopted child. Now shes 18..barely trying to finish her college with a little money..and trying to act strong to be independent. I would surely come back..when I see her a few years later.

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10. 71

    Julie Fletcherposted 13 years ago

    I had a hard childhood, though  it was emotionally hard and financially hard - I wasn't abused. My mom gave me to my great-grandparents to raise, my father was absent, plus a lot of other fun stuff that I don't like to go into.
    
    I let all of this stuff bother me well into adulthood. At first it made me angry, so I wasn't very nice. Then I began to deal with things in my childhood - that helped. I started to 'chill'.
    
    Finally I learned that holding on to it all was the problem. Ever since letting it go and realizing that I am in control, not what happened to me, I've become a lot better person (or so I hope!)

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11. 59

    Penny Gposted 10 years ago

    Childhood is in the hands of our parents. As adults we are now in charge and we can do it our way. Some use it as an excuse to blame their own negative behaviors on but if you don't agree with your childhood then change those things.

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12. 85

    gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

    A difficult, onerous childhood affects each person differently. Some view it quite positively, even enabling them to be better people while others can be demoralized, even immobilized by such a childhood. read more

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