There are parents of near adult children who actually decide what college/university their children should attend. They believe that as parents, they know what is the best college/university for their children. They discount the decisions of their children. Besides that, these same parents also choose the majors of their children? These so-called well meaning parents believe that their children are not mature and/or experienced enough to choose a marketable major. I believe that these parents are crippling their children which will adversely affect their college life and beyond.
If the parents are paying the bills then they deserve some role in the decisions.
I am one of those parents .I have chosen the college my daughter will be going to .She had a choice of two,and yes I let her choose her own major.I know it is her life.Choosing your child's major is too much.I am learning to let go .She will be 18 on Dec 13.I am getting sad...my baby is a young woman.
We've been there, done that, three times over!
I urge you to rejoice and not to be sad. Parenting is not about raising children; it is all about raising adults. The pride I feel when I observe the lives of our three is my reward for letting go of our “babies”.
I think many parents feel that since they are footing the bill in most cases that they need to be involved in the decision. I went through this feeling when my first was looking at colleges and majors but I had to let her make the decision. If she asked for advice I gave it and onl;y at that point. Don't get me wrong, college is very expensive and most parents pay for most of it but I want my child to be happy in whatever she chooses as a career. We should support them not make the decisions for them as they will never stop relying on you.
I staunchly believe that when a person reaches 18-he/she is an adult and should be capable of making adult decisions. This is what is wrong with middle class and upper middle class youth, they are totally infantilized beyond repair.
When people reach 18 years of age, they are quite capable of choosing what college/university they should attend. It is their life and if they choose unwisely, they will have to live with the consequences of their actions. How can our youth learn to make decisions if mommy and daddy breastfeed them constantly. This is totally beyond ridiculous and inane to the milnillionth degree. 18 years olds are to choose their own colleges and their majors.
Children should be raised to be independent from an early age. If raised correctly, an intelligent 14 year old should be able to make many mature decisions. Stop babying and moddycoddling our children and let them have baby steps regarding making decisions. C'mon, if mommy and daddy chooses baby's college and major, baby will be a total flop in the work world as no right thinking employer would hire such an immature numbnut! I know I would not! This is not romper room, folks. Let your children grow up and go! Amen!
I believe as parents you are there to teach your child, and teach only. Teaching does not entitle right of decision making. As the teacher you are there to teach the child how to interact with their surroundings in an appropriate manner, you are to teach them that every action has a reaction so it's wise to think before you act, and you are to teach them that they themselves are responsible for themselves, which means making their own decisions, and taking responsibility for whatever action and reaction they cause.
Even young infants can begin to learn independence and should learn some independence.
I think one of the biggest mistakes in parenting are parents who insist their child think/act a certain way instead of teaching and showing them how to observe and learn, ask questions, analyze, evaluate, etc. Teach a child how to use his brain instead of trying to mold it or control it.
Amen to that. Your children are not extensions of you but autonomous individuals in their own right. Parents who believe that their children are extensions of them are in for quite a rude awakening as their children become older and more independent. Such parents often have the worst relationships with their teenage, young adult, and adult children. Parents who treat their children as individuals have the warmest and most rewarding relationships. Their teenage, young adult, and adult children want to be close to them. You have made an excellent point. Parents-learn WHEN to let go, you will be better for it!
by Grace Marguerite Williams 13 months ago
I did a hub regarding how overprotective parents overguard and mollycoddle their children as to leave them totally bereft of basic life and survival skills. As we all know, there is a rising phenomena of overprotective/helicopter parents who believe in overprotecting and infantilizing...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 7 years ago
It truly amazes me when overprotective parents lament how immature and irresponsible their adolescent and/or near adult children are. Didn't they realize that they were partly responsible by their intrusive and controlling parenting in making their children childish, puerile, and...
by Akshara98 17 months ago
I am 19 years old. I have overprotective parents. I can't go hanging around with my friends. Help meI can say thatmy parents are friendly and they does everything that I need. But they don't try to understand my feelings. They always endup arguing with me whenever I ask permission to hang...
by Linda Crampton 3 years ago
What are the problems and advantages of having adult children living in the family home?If an adult child returns to live with his or her parents in the family home, or if the child never leaves home after growing up, what are some problems and advantages from both the adult child's point of view...
by loveofnight 5 years ago
Is it possible for a parent to stand in their child's way, how ?
by Hypersapien 4 years ago
How should parents deal with lazy, unemployed, still-live-with-Mom-and-Dad adult children?It's one thing if your child loses his job and has to move back home, but how do you deal with one that won't even look for work, thinks you should still provide for all their needs (clean their room, wash...
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|