Why do men find it so hard to give their beloved a bunch of flowers?

1. 66

   Violet Flameposted 13 years ago

   Being a romantic-at-heart woman, I just love giving and receiving flowers. Yet, for some very strange reason, the men in my life, past and present, could not or would not give me flowers? Why is that? I know it is not because they don't love or cherish me, but somehow they seem to find it silly. What's your view please.
   
   Baffled

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      Originposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I don't mind giving flowers, especially if I know that she loves them.

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         Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Good on you Origin xo I am sure she loves them and her love blooms for you even then...

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      Eric Calderwoodposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I've given my wife real flowers a couple of times.  After seeing this forum topic I asked her what her view on it was and she told me it was nice, but it wasn't something she ordinarily wanted me to be spending money on.

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         Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         awww....big thumb up for giving your nice wife bunches of flowers...and another big thumb up for asking her view on this topic, just to show you really care about her feelings. I am afraid I must be less practical a person, but really we aren't talking about a lot of money and we aren't talking about a lot of flowers. My partner and I have been going out for two years and living together for the past 6 months, not one petal from him, lol.

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   KCC Big Countryposted 13 years ago

   Most seem to think it's a waste of money.....they just die in a few days.   I personally love flowers.  I've bought myself some a time or two.

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      Lisa HWposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's been my experience with a lot of people's thinking too.    The real problem is that people who think flowers are a waste of money and "only die anyway" are people who also think that appreciating the beauty of flowers is "silly".  The can have a superior attitude when it comes to who is "silly and sentimental" ("like a lot of women") and who is "practical and sensible" ("like men tend to be").  People (women AND men) who know that appreciating the beauty of flowers isn't "silly and sentimental and" at all don't see flowers as a waste of money.
      
      People who go through life incapable of appreciating the beauty of Nature are actually the ones who "have a problem".      (Besides, would it kill anyone to give someone else what he knows she likes, rather than to inflict his own lack of appreciation on the person he's giving a gift to?     That's where that "sense-of-superiority" in thinking comes in.   

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         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         If a man were to give me flowers I would rather they came out of the garden than out of a greenhouse for $12.95 a dozen.

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3. 70

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Most are not deeply romantic at their core.

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4. 61

   logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

   I do not find it difficult at all!
   I frequently give flowers, sometimes plants.
   One year just prior to Valentine's Day, a coworker mentioned that she had never been given flowers of any kind for Valentine's.  Another said that she hadn't either.  So on Valentine's Day I brought roses to work and gave each woman that worked for me a single rose.  You could see the thrill in their eyes!  Worth every penny!

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      KCC Big Countryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That is really sweet, Logic!  You sound like a keeper!

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         logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Just like to make women happy!  As best I can anyway!

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      Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      It sounds to me you are a lot more than logic and commonsense there logic, commonsense :-)
      
      I wish every man think like you do, lol

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         logic,commonsenseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks, VF, for the compliment!  Just a romantic at heart that likes to see a big smile on a woman's face.  It puts a smile in my heart!

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5. 60

   SmilesDocposted 13 years ago

   We need more than subtle hints on these things. Try a 2x4 to get our attention. Then cram a note dipped in hot sauce into our left nostril that says "I like flowers."
   
   Then you might have half a chance.

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      KCC Big Countryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I think it's pretty safe to assume that ANY woman likes flowers UNLESS she's allergic to them OR you're avoiding paying the rent because you've bought the flowers.

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6. 68

   Pearldiverposted 13 years ago

   Most men know very little about flowers so they are conscious of that when faced with selecting a gift. (and being seen carrying them by their mates )
   As a result... It's far easier to get seats at a sporting event.. (NOW that's a Manly Gift )

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   1. 66

      Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      yes...now I am slowly getting to understand a little bit about the male psyche.....you probably just give your girl real pearls, Peardiver, that would work for me too

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7. 92

   habeeposted 13 years ago

   My husband had rather give me live flowers that can be planted. And actually, the practical side of me prefers this type. I'd rather have a hanging basket to go on my deck than a bouquet of cut flowers!

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      Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      One day, a long time ago, while I was still married to my ex.....I asked him, " Honey, how come you never give me flowers? You know how much I love them."
      
      He pointed his finger out of the window and into the rose garden, "You've already got flowers in the garden, don't you?"
      
      And, ladies and gentlemen, that's why he became my ex.

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8. 61

   bloodrkposted 13 years ago

   In my opinion, most men wanted their gift to last for a long period of time. My experience was i only gave flower once that's for every girl(past and present). it also because i don't have that much knowledge on flowers and i know for the fact that flowers wither so i rather give a dress or something.

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      Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      now a nice dress will definitely do it

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9. 0

   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   wow, i didn't know this was such a huge common problem among most couples.  i guess i have less dating experience than I previously thought. I can't say I ever had this problem, but I did get stood up once by a girl on the first date when I bought her a bouquet of roses to meet her with.  of course, that was like four or five years ago I think.  Hardly, worth thinking about, as I just laugh about it now.  After all, as a fried once told me, when god gives you aids, you make LEMONAIDS!  Get it?  lol.

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10. 78

    elayne001posted 13 years ago

    Maybe if you use reverse psychology. Tell him you hate to get flowers because they die so soon. It worked for me. Now he gets them for me for most romantic holidays.

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    1. 66

       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I can't say I really get reverse psychology so please bear with my slow wit here ......if you told him you hate getting flowers, why then did he do it??? But I must say that's a very impressive end result you've got there. I definitely need some more coaching on this reverse psychology thing

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11. 61

    h.a.borcichposted 13 years ago

    My ex was generous with flowers when we were dating, but as a married man - he decided it wasn't important anymore. He told me there was no longer a reason to because we were married.
    My Mr Right is generous with flowers especially since we married. Live and cut

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12. 83

    CMHypnoposted 13 years ago

    I think men don't give flowers simply because it does not occur to them.  If receiving flowers is important to you, I think you have to spell it out fairly explicitly to the man in your life if he is not a natural flower-giver.

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       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I have lost count of how many times I hinted and implied....not working....I think I will start buying them myself, lol, might be easier this way....

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          Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          ....unless perhaps I send him over for a hypnosis session?

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13. 62

    prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

    it depends on the men, men and women show different ways in showing their love. They compensate in other ways of showing their love.

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14. 0

    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    for my part I am allergic to flowers, but then I am also allergic to pretty women.

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       prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Oh Ch. morning how are you this weekend?

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       ashleyvanillilifeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Cool! i love the humor..

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15. 0

    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    Hi Maita. I am sunny here today. Good to see you.

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    1. 62

       prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       You feeling ok? hows memorial wekend going for you, going out? bbq or just staying indoors? it is hot here as well

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16. 74

    Richieb799posted 13 years ago

    Ive bought flowers on a regular basis for ex gf's before

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17. 0

    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    will bbq again tomorrow, did yesterday and the day before. got the pool going and it is warming up nicely and I am ready now for skinny dipping.

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       prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       WOW, I am envious now! BBQ tomorrow and swimming lots of fun,
       Can i join in too, I will not throw all the water in the pool if I dive, half of it only

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18. 84

    rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

    it's just very nice to receive flowers, even it it's only a wildflower picked along the way...
    
    but also I do enjoy potted plants to add to the garden.
    I like habee's suggestion also of a beautiful planter or hanging basket, or a flowering bush. it's so cheerful to look on the patio and see living flowers. 
    
    everyone enjoy your day!

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19. 68

    waynetposted 13 years ago

    What's the point of paying for something that will only last a couple of days at best? oh yeah flowers, I buy them everytime for my mrs!

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       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       yeh like I believe you waynet, lol

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20. 81

    LeanManposted 13 years ago

    Love to give to my other half, but prefer to buy the potted variety that will last longer....

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       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       that's very sweet LeanMan, I am sure your other half really appreciates the gesture xo

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21. 82

    Rafiniposted 13 years ago

    I never understood the idea behind receiving flowers from a man, to me it isn't practical.  A live plant is practical, but it doesn't say "I love you" to me....
    
    On the flip side, when my youngest son was 4 or 5, and we were at the drug store a few days before Valentines Day, I caught him eyeing the single long stem roses and then glancing back at me out of the corner of his eye.  I asked him if he wanted one and he nodded his head, so I let him pick one out.  After we got home he gave it to me and I was blown away.  Ever since then (until 2-3 yrs ago) he gave me flowers for every holiday and birthday and progressed to buying (cheap) jewelry. 
    
    All I can say is, I was happy to be his guinea pig. 

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       Lisa HWposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       What a nice point about little sons.  Those of us who have had four/five-year-old sons have often seen that being given flowers does mean "I love you" (or at least means, "I'm hoping these make you feel happy."     )  Sometimes "some mother's son" stays that way.  Sometimes the world/society has more influence on them than is, maybe, good.  (Remind me to throw out the recently-dried-up flowers my 28-year-old son gave me not long ago.     )
       
       I definitely agree that flowers aren't the most practical thing in the world, but I think it's nice when people "skip practical" on occasion, and just go with "this-is-just-a-nice-thing".   

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          Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah, the funny thing was the bought flowers seemed more special to me than the wildflowers the kids had picked for me on occasion, but I really don't understand why since I prefer wildflowers over bought flowers....

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       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       That was so sweet Rafini, good on you for raising one of the male species who is not reluctant to showing his affection. What a thoughtful son! I don't have children but I my cats often brought home butterflies, birds or lizards for me to tell me they loved me very much. xo

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          Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            my daughter had a cat like that...brought in live mice and live birds...lol

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22. 0

    Kathryn LJposted 13 years ago

    If pubs promoted drinks with a free rose every round, there would be a lot of very happy partners out there.  Bought flowers are soooooooo expensive and guys don't see the point.  Plus they don't help themselves by only buying them when they've done something wrong, usually from a garage, with the price still on.  Not that I'm at all bitter.

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       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I hear you Kathryn....
       At least  you still get the flowers from the garage! lol, maybe we should start working on the garages to upgrade their flower range? and stop them from sticking price tags onto the plastic wrapping?

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23. 86

    Marisa Wrightposted 13 years ago

    One important thing I learned is that there are different ways of expressing love, i.e.
    
    - by tactile means, with kisses and hugs (and sex)
    - by the spoken word
    - by giving material things (gifts)
    - by caring for the person's needs
    
    Each one of us has one or dominant preferences, the way we express love to others - and that's also the way we expect others to express their love.
    
    If a couple is mismatched in their preferences, they can doubt each other's love even if they really love each other - because they're misinterpreting each other's expressions of love.
    
    My husband is a tactile and caring person, whereas I'm (surprise, surprise) more verbal.  In his own mind, he's  expressing his love constantly - but I used to get upset that he never said "I love you".  He will now, occasionally, but it has less value because I know it's not spontaneous. 
    
    Neither of us has a strong "material" preference so I don't mind not getting flowers - they are criminally expensive and last five minutes, so what's the point?  The only time I complain is when everyone else in the office is getting them and I'm not - which is not about love, it's about status.

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       Violet Flameposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Marisa, thanks for the reminder. I do remember reading a book in that subject a few years back, can't remember the name now.

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    mrpopoposted 13 years ago

    Allergies?

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    brianzenposted 13 years ago

    Usually guys don't give flowers because they don't want to reward you. They may act approving to avoid drama, but deep down... misery=heck no I will not get her flowers or she will think "I am happy with her just as she is". Then how will we end the nagging?

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    ashleyvanillilifeposted 13 years ago

    i love receiving flowers this is the undying sweet gestures of a guy. It shows love, sincerity and respect. ♥

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       brianzenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       You may be worthy of the sentiment, he was lucky, you were lucky, I sadly am in the chocolates business... That's right Chocolates!!!

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          ashleyvanillilifeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Oh chocolates will do! Yes, I love chocolates too. sweet

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    brianzenposted 13 years ago

    See now that didn't hurt a bit did it?

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       ashleyvanillilifeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yea right you have point. OK deal! Now i love chocolates ..

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    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    I give flowers, but also do the dishes, look after the little ones, change some nappies etc. Always appreciated.

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