Do long distance relationships really work?

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   azelajeanposted 15 years ago

   How do you really trust your partner to be faithful? Is long distance relationship gonna work for you? This question always bugging me. Please give me some advice.

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      Poppa Bluesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I have to say, I don't think they can unless it's for a brief amount of time. The longer the time apart, the more likely they are to fail. Besides, is it really a "relationship" if the two of you are apart? At least in the sense of what I think a relationship is, where two people are intimate. Of course you can have a relationship with someone half way round the globe, but you certainly couldn't be lovers, even if that was your intent, until you are together, and to expect someone to wait indefinitely for that to happen is, well, unrealistic.

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      Marisa Wrightposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, long distance relationships can work. I know two couples who have been through a phase when they couldn't be together, got through it and have now been happily married for some years. 
      
      However in both those cases, the couples in question had actually met and spent a week or so together before their first separation, and also managed to make flying visits to each other two or three times a year. 
      
      A lot of people who ask about "long distance relationships" are referring to meeting and dating over the internet, never having met the person.  That, IMO, is doomed to disaster.  You only get part of a person's personality over the net, and you fill in the rest with wishful thinking - so the other person will always appear better than they really are. There's certain to be some disappointment in the reality when you eventually meet.  Some people will rise above that, but most won't.

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   Dame Scribeposted 15 years ago

   There are a lot of articles and personal relationship sites that help with this issue. Just take a trip around and read then you will be able to find a sum, lol. making it sound like a math problem lol

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   sassychicposted 15 years ago

   Hey I just recently put up a topic like this. My personal experience in the past (and right now) is, If you feel strong enough and have good communication skills you'll be fine. I would cation the faithfulness. I ovbiously dont know the dude or anything but get to know eachother really well first. It doesnt have to be personal topics (actully dont do that) Just casual talking. I think in my point of view you can tell by how interested and the way he talks to tell you if its a go.
   I think just be prepared for things. Im in a long distance relationship right now. YOU have to have patience and stay calm. If he doesnt call you right away or you are planning to webcam or something work with eachothers schedules and even rope off the time for just you and him to talk casually. Good Luck!

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   RDHayesposted 15 years ago

   If you want advice from people who know something about long distance relationships ask our men and women in uniform. They must endure the pangs of long distance relationships many times in life.
   
   Personally I'd have to say it depends on how long the relationship has been established in the first place.

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      RDHayesposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      LOL I'm quoting myself now! Anyways I did create a small hub on Love and what I perceive as it's stages. It might shed some light on why long distance relationships don't work or do work.
      
      http://hubpages.com/hub/What-are-the-Stages-of-Love
      
      Enjoy.

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   sassychicposted 15 years ago

   This is very true. even though Im sure that Im younger than you. I want to say if you really truly want it and are willing to go through what it takes than go for it! But if you're still not sure or having mixed feelings than dont do it! It's not worth the drama and confusion. trust me been there done that before. You've got to want it and know what u want. If you're wishie washie about it dont. you will drive your BF nuts. or if they do it to you vise versa!

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   Rainbow Briteposted 15 years ago

   I gotta agree with RD Hayes - I'm a military brat myself so maybe it's just the fact that I was raised with separation being a large part of my life, but I really do believe that long distance relationships can work.  But, there is one important factor that some people don't consider - the end result.  It's not a "first date" topic, but at some point you need to know what the other person's plans are.  Do they want marriage, kids, the house, the car, the white picket fence?  Are you the person they're looking to have that with?  Are they willing to consider relocation or are you expected to pick up and move?  What's the time frame?  Long distance relationships can work but honest communication is going to be key in making that happen.  In the same general vein as this topic, check out:  http://hubpages.com/hub/Falling-in-love … never-met.  I wrote that one in response to a similar question in the "Requests".

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   sassychicposted 15 years ago

   Rainbow Brite sorry I miss spelled your "name".
   Anyway Rainbow Brite's got the sass! She now's it all! Take what she said in consideration she got good advice!

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   ocbillposted 15 years ago

   tough to endure but sacrifices must be made. Trust goes pretty far so they can work out. Plus it depends on how long apart it is though.

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   waynetposted 15 years ago

   Long distance relationships may not work due to the huge gap of er...distance
   
   Plus how can you do the jiggy and the wiggy if you are in two separate places...I'll settle for an inflatable doll....

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    Rainbow Briteposted 15 years ago

    waynet - silly boy don't you know that if it doesn't inhale it's not cheating?  lol no in all seriousness the lack of sex sucks and you do get kind of bored with youself and the same toys every day but a true long distance relationship has moments where you can meet (in most cases) so you make the best out of what you have until you have the power to change the circumstances.  Of course, what works for one may not work for another, and far be it for me to judge, but I for one am VERY glad that I went through it (and in a way kind of still am going through it) or I would not have the man that I have today.

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    LegendaryN8posted 15 years ago

    You gotta spend a lot of time together first and then have it go to a long distance for it to have a better chance of success.
    
    How long is it a long distance relationship for?  Is it temp. or permanent?  This is really important.

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    sassychicposted 15 years ago

    You can learn a lot about yourself! No matter what you need to know you boundries and what you believe in! If this means a lot to you Im sure that you'll find a way to visit eachother!
    1) You need to get to know eachother as much as you are willing to know about eachother,
    2) for your first meeting, have a friend for emotional support, encourage him to do the same or whom ever it is. You dont want to the first meeting to be the altimate nightmare you will never forget.
    3) Make it casual dont make it extravagant or anything make it simple and easy, this will releave a lot of nervousness and axniety about that day when it comes.
    
    Those are a few tips that I thought I would share with you, hope it's what you're looking for!
    ~Sasha

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    desert blondieposted 15 years ago

    I stand as one of those for whom a long distance relationship did work!!! My husband and I (married now 11 years as of Nov. '08) dated long distance from the beginning. And we dated four years...sometimes they seemed like four very long years...across times zones and cities, etc.
         We had once lived in the same town, worked at the same place. An amazing opportunity arose for him and he moved away...13 hour car drive away!!!  Then he had an international opportunity!!! For four years we never lived in the same city, rarely lived in the same time zone!  Our long distance bills (back when people used 'real' phones) were horrendous, but cheap compared to actual dates.  I had been married before and when my children were with their father, he or I would travel to be in the same place at the same time.
         It was wonderful to find someone I cared for!
         It was horrible that we were rarely ever in the same town!
         But here we are...after four really long years of barely being together, we've been married for 11 years!!!  He still calls me his bride! 
    And I feel like we just got married just the other day....not 11 years ago!  Compared to my previous marriage;...when 11 years had already felt like an eternity. (I was ultimately married to my first husband for 15 years...then single for seven...four of which were involved in this long distance relationship.)
          My Mom didn't understand...my best friend tried to understand...my children tried to understand...it was, truly, quite unusual...but it worked!

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    ilovehubbingposted 15 years ago

    Yes the can work

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