Is it acceptable for a woman to support a man?

1. 54

   Sex With Berthaposted 15 years ago

   If you are a woman and you made a decent amount of money and you met a man who you much indeed liked that was a waiter at a restaurant. Would you date him and pick up the tabs? If you were a man would you mind?

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2. 78

   bgpappaposted 15 years ago

   Part of me says it would be cool at first then I would feel bad.  But, really, there is nothing wrong with it except for societal stereotypes.

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3. 78

   bgpappaposted 15 years ago

   Part of me says it would be cool at first then I would feel bad.  But, really, there is nothing wrong with it except for societal stereotypes.

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4. 81

   LondonGirlposted 15 years ago

   don't see why not.

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5. 0

   Leta Sposted 15 years ago

   Yes and/or No.  Kinda been there, done that.  It can get weird with artist types in that fashion.  Sometimes for them, it isn't about money, but a goal--their artistic career.  Was in a relationship with a guy where I made more money and paid the lion share of living expenses.  Female sacrifice is not that fun for some.  I resented it.
   
   There has got to be some kind of equilibrium in a relationship--whether that be with money or anything else.  Selfishness is insufferable.  Having no clue or no goals in life is very unattractive.  Thus, the qualification--but not saying it could not be done.

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   1. 85

      Marisa Wrightposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly.  I supported my first husband in the early days of our marriage, because I was working and he was still studying to gain a qualification.  I didn't mind at all, because he was working towards a goal that would ultimately benefit both of us. 
      
      My sister has a high-powered job which she loves.  Her partner is a house husband - he looks after the kids, does all the cooking and housework and manages the family finances.  He works just as hard as she does and she values his contribution to their relationship.  With three kids (one with a serious health problem), one of them had to stay at home - and my sister would have loathed being the stay-at-home one.
      
      What's not acceptable is when one partner does all the work and the other enjoys a life of leisure at their expense.  A trophy wife who lives off her rich husband is basically a prostitute - he's just buying her body for the long term instead of by the hour.   I've seen a few male "artists" or "writers" do the same - they latch on to a rich woman, and though they claim to be trying to develop their masterpiece, all too often they're just layabouts.

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      1. 0

         Leta Sposted 15 years agoin reply to this

           It actually wasn't like that--he was very talented--but so was I.  Believe it was that typical woman-as-second-class-citizen or something thing.  OR.  Just nasty artist selfishness.  If anyone has seen Basquiat.  Oh, well--that's over!
         
         Speaking of trophy wives, lol, we sure do have a fine batch of those in this area. Woo!  Do they know how scary they look?

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6. 61

   knolyourselfposted 15 years ago

   What's good for the goose should be good for the gander.

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7. 81

   LondonGirlposted 15 years ago

   I had more money than my other half for years - my parents were able to give me more of an allowance while we were studying. Now we earn about the same, but as his area of law is higher paid, he'll probably overtake me.
   
   Not bothered either way.

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   1. 0

      Leta Sposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      A different thing, LG,   Yours wasn't about being robbed of your time by working and paying the expenses so that you had less time to devote to your goals.
      
      Off course my guy now as an architect makes more than me as a PR person/writer.  I must say it is different, too--but better.  I don't think its about money actually--but being decent.

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8. 81

   LondonGirlposted 15 years ago

   I agree with you both.
   
   My father's earnings over their marriage dwarf my mother's, but she brought up 4 children, and ran my Dad's life for him in a way the most posh of hotels couldn't have done!

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9. 60

   goldentoadposted 15 years ago

   Its terrible not to be able to bring home the bacon, even when I was single. I didn't mind if she made more but I didn't feel comfortable with her paying my way.

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10. 81

    LondonGirlposted 15 years ago

    Not much bacon ever been brought into this home, by either of us (-:

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11. 59

    eoveryposted 15 years ago

    Depends on your maturity.  If your mature and responsible, you can probably handle this.  It all depends on your, for better words, "maturity."   If the guy becomes a bum, I guess it is between him and her.
    
    Keep on Hubbing!

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    1. 0

       Leta Sposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You are a very scary kitty!

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12. 72

    AEvansposted 15 years ago

    mmmm, this is a good question and I would say it depends on the circumstance that surrounds the situation and how long they have been together etc.If a man can support a woman , a woman can support a man. A Woman should never make a man feel less because she is supporting the household and vice versa. Everybody has to do their part. If a man is being supported he should take on the responsibility of household chores, etc. and again vove versa. Nobody should be laying around eating and watching tv all day, when work on both ends is to be done to provide an even balance. After all who wants to come home to a pigpen and nothing on the table?

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