A very old television show features a husband and wife taking a stroll along the beach.
Out of nowhere a beautiful young woman darts past them wearing a very skimpy bathing suit. The husband smiles and stares at her bottom as it disappears into the ocean. When he turns towards his wife she slaps him across the face.
(Queue the laugh track)
If the same scene were done in reverse with the wife staring at a young stud and her angry husband slapped her across the face there would be no laugh track.
There’s a very popular scene in the movie “Moonstruck” where Nicolas Cage using puppy dog eyes professes his love to Cher who happens to be engaged to his brother.
Cher slaps him across the face and says, “Snap out of it!”
The movie theatre erupts with laughter!
If Nicholas Cage had slapped her back it’s doubtful the scene would have generated the same level of laughter.
Hollywood and our society in general appear to be saying,
If a woman hits a man it’s a comedy.
If a man hits a woman it’s a tragedy.
This double standard not only exists in the entertainment world but also in news events.
When Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband’s penis and drove off eventually throwing his penis out the window on the side of the road…..The late night comedians had joke material for months!
(No one remembers that her husband was acquitted of sexually assaulting her).
Had John cut off one of Lorena’s breast and threw it out of the window my guess is there would not have been as many jokes about that.
During the mid 1970s R&B legend Al Green was taking a bath when a woman he was having a relationship with walked in and tossed a pot of hot grits on his back. The jokes went on for several weeks! In fact some people still jokingly refer to him as Al Grits!
Not only is violence by women against men taken lightly so are their sex crimes.
In recent years there appears to have been an increased number of female teachers having sex with teenage boys. In one such instance Jay Leno remarked on “The Tonight Show”
“Where were these teachers when I was in school?” Laughter filled the room.
Needless to say if a 35-year-old male teacher were arrested for having sex with a 14-year-old girl student very few jokes would be told.
The Chris Brown and Rihanna domestic violence story still remains a hot topic nine months later. Time and time again I have heard various television hosts and radio talk show hosts along with their audiences state the following.....
”A man should never put his hands on a woman.”
“There is no reason a man should ever hit a woman”
“If a woman hits a man he should walk away"
Maybe it’s a little unrealistic though to expect a man not to hit a woman back simply because she is a woman.
Police officers, military, and security professionals who are trained to remain calm and to ascertain a situation before taking action often times lose their temper in hostile situations.
Odds are those of us without this type of training would have a more difficult time resisting the urge to strike back.
Retaliation seems to be a natural instinct throughout nature.
I for one would never walk up to a grizzly bear and slap him across the face expecting him to simply walk away. Picking a fight with someone or something bigger than you may not be a smart thing to do.
Maybe it’s the person who has the urge to hit someone should be the person that thinks first and walk away
I am certain most of us would agree domestic violence is truly a horrible thing.
However I think the “anti-hitting sermons” should be applied to both men and women.
No one (male or female) in any relationship deserves to be hit.
This applies not only to heterosexual couples but gay and lesbian couples as well.
A recent article contained some surprising information regarding Domestic Violence.
“The most recent large-scale study of DV was conducted by Center for Disease Control and Prevention researchers and published in the American Journal of Public Health.
The study, which surveyed 11,000 men and women, found that according to both men's and women's accounts, 50 percent of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties).
(In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike.)
Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70 percent of the time.”
‘DV researcher Deborah Capaldi, Ph.D., a social scientist at the Oregon Social Learning Center, told the conference that the most dangerous DV scenario for women is that of reciprocal violence, particularly if that violence is initiated by women.
The best way for many women to be safe is to not initiate violence against their male partners. "
The following link contains more details about the study mentioned above along with one man’s personal story.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigg … d=20968901
It’s been said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right” but it’s also true that “One wrong does not make a right either.”
A woman has about as much right to hit a man, as a man has to hit a woman.
Whether you are a man or a woman if you are being hit or verbally abused by your mate…. etc
I would say to you “Don’t just walk out of the room. Walk out of their life.”
Life is too short!
Well, your absolutely right about everything. Although, they say the sexes are equal, they're really not. At the risk of sounding sexist myself, its true that men are the stronger sex physically as its scientifically proven. However, women are the smarter sex, and deep down whether they know it sub conciously or conciously, they are.
Sadly, in society women and men are not treated equally the same, and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon.
even comedians like bill maher said it best, "if he were to say that women were the smarter sex, then he would get a loud thunderous applause. however, if he said men were the smarter sex, then he would get nothing but boos." sadly, thats the reality of life.
as for fighting with a girl, a man can never win. its like that throughout a man's entire life through childhood to adult hood. if a boy gets picked on by a girl, most parents just laugh at their child and tell them that it just means she likes him. yet if a boy were to pick on a girl, he's condemned as a bully. same thing when you get older. if a guy gets into a fight with a girl, regardless of who started it, the guy will be considered a creep if he beats up the poor girl. however, if the girl beats him up, then he's either condemned as a wuss or/and she gets appraisal for standing up to a bully.
same thing in sexual harassment cases. its a lot easier for people to buy into a man sexually harassing a girl at work, then it is to try to buy a girl sexually harassing a guy. In fact, its almost impossible as a girl could easily cry out on the stand while testifying and win over the jury easily, as it is human nature to comfort the female of the human race. however, if a man cried like that, he's often condemned as a whiny little coward.
its a fact of life basically that the sexes are not equal despite the popular belief. heck even when i was a busboy at a restaurant a decade ago, i used to work with three busgirls, so to speak. anyway, the manager always gave them jobs that didn't require a lot of heavy lifting. yet they made the guys that were busboys, do all the heavy lifting, and we all got paid the same. is it fair? i don't know. you tell me. however, that's life. where is it written that it has to be fair? my thoughts are, is like i said. i have nothing but respect for women as i feel they're the smarter ones between the sexes, but that doesn't make it any less right that both sexes are not treated equally.
No one should hit anyone. Obviously.
The reason there's laughter when a women hits a man, like in "Moonstruck," is that:
1)she's not hitting him that hard, or with intent to injure him. It's more like the slap men give screaming, hysterical women in some movies--the wake up slap.
2)She literally can't hit him as hard as he hits her. She can't knock him down or break anything. If she could, it would not be funny at all.
The comparison to hitting a grizzly bear is interesting. Tell me you wouldn't laugh if a little kid slapped a giant animal like that, and instead of eating him, the bear or gorilla just rubbed its nose and looked puzzled. We laugh when life triumphs over death. That's why people laugh at Tom & Jerry, where a mouse beats up a cat. Even though we love cats.
A weaker person hitting a stronger one makes us laugh, because they didn't die. It's instinctive. That's why we don't laugh when the big person hits the smaller one. There's no laugh track if the guy hits the girl because he literally could kill her with a blow. Just as there's no laugh if a grizzly bear hits a guy.
this could become a hub, there should be no hitting between woman and man..below the belt is ok, just kidding
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I took your suggestion and placed it in a hub along with some of my other blogs. Have A Magnificent Monday!
One of my boys said about a girl who hit him, "Mom, it's not like it hurts!" He really didn't think it did but I had to point out that another girl may be stronger and even the same one could hurt him if she decides to use a baseball bat, a metal pole, or a gun.
People that try to control another adult's behavior by physical force don't belong with that person in the first place. Or maybe not anyone.
I guess some of the laughter comes from thinking a woman can't really hurt a man and people laugh at her thinking she can force a "big, strong man" to her will that way.
My wife hits all the time, we torture her then she atacks for no reason!
Yes a woman should definitely hit a man, preferably with a whip but a good spanking can do!
I hope I'm not thinking what you are thinking hehehe... clever you buddy...
....and of course, hitting ON each other is always fun!!
Hey if thats what floats your boat then by all means.....
I have no problem with a good fetish, just so long as it's not abuse but mutually fun well mutual fun is mutually fun
Yes, I defintely like being slapped around a bit. But only with a woman I truly care about:)
In my point of view it is not supposed to be... women should not disgraced his husband especially into the eyes of many and vice versa...
Recently the hub mob topic was to do with domestic violence and this problem was the first thing that came to my mind. I have witnessed violence against men perpetrated by women both in public (total strangers) and have heard my step mom insult and berate my dad no end! At the end of the day violence, verbal or physical it is not acceptable and sympathy should be offered to the victim regardless of gender, either that or we all go berserk violent and watch society crumble (my evil villain coming out there, now where is my black cat and why isn't she on my lap?)
Hi GH and myownworld, I read your hub my friend MOW and I love it!
you too GH, you have a lot of useful and well written hubs this past week!
now back to whoopings etc...
Wow yea started reading then scrolled down. WAAAAAAY to long. this should be a hub.
oh u even bothered to read??
(smile @ pretty)
Hi Craz I have something for you check your comment quick I hope you'll like my tribute...
@PDH--- thanks a lot my dear PDH, yeah I know noticed it myself I think Im inspired doing those for the past two weeks...
agree to that, where are we going to whoop them?
Guess I missed the serious part of the debate LOL
No, not acceptable for any hitting of anyone, by anyone. It ain't funny in any language.
--- I agree. When you hit somebody you just show the lack of culture in you. To hit somebody who is physically weaker??? It's just a shame!
I used to be in an abusive relationship where my sons dad used to take his anger out on me... so being someone who experienced this kind of treatment for about 4 years I have to say that hitting another person for whatever reason is NOT ok by any standards.. I also get what your saying about how society keeps tryin to make it seem like its ok for a woman to slap a man or hit a man or whatever BUT I dont think there is anything wrong if you slap your man on the arm or something for being a total butthead! I mean hitting in the face is plain disrespectful no matter whos doing the hitting no ONE i know likes to be hit in the face or head or of any sort for that matter....then again look what our world has been reduced to
Wow, that is some serious truth. To be honest, it does appear that women with all our fights for equality are becoming quite the aggresser. In my field, I am seeing more and more women that are assaulting men. I am almost positive that it's not so new. Many are taking advantage of the DV laws and getting back at lovers that have scorned them. It's pretty sad, because there are many people that are being harmed in these types of cases. The rule of thumb, has to be keep your hands to yourself. Women, I never thought it was cute for a women to think she can hit anyone and not expect to be struck back...that's just crazy and silly.
Now, I was very much a victim of DV, so I know that there is a major problem. I never started or ended for that matter any of the assaults. I just got the crap beat out of me. So let's all take care of ourselves.
i got to the part about throwing a boob out the window and couldnt stop laughing....sorry....
It is not okay for anyone to hit anyone.
I mean, why would anyone want to hit ones' one and only?
I think it's time for society to adopt the 'eye for eye' philosophy, or 'goose for gander' theory if you rather.
As a whole, we are all so very biased, hypocritical, and two-faced. I am included of course
We see this in the sexes, races, political and religious standings, financial standings and practically anything else you can think of!
What is not okay one way, should sure as hell not be okay the other way and vice versa with what is. End of story in my mind.
Luckily I am just one person with one opinion!
I don't care who you are, if you feel the need to hit someone, you better be ready to get hit back.
My husband and I play fight all the time, we smack each other but never in anger
There is nothing wrong with a bit of the old rough trade, especially in the bedroom.
I think it's because society still doesn't regard women as equal. Because women aren't considered equally powerful and equally capable of inflicting real harm (even though we are), this is why it's played for laughs when a woman attacks a man. (Note that none of the movies show women inflicting real damage upon men unless the men attack first.)
BTW, I would like to hit a man in the proper places and body parts too, LOL....
My dad always told me to never hit or scream unless you were in actual danger, then, make it count! Don't wimp out and do a half-way job.
you must know the rule. keep your hands to yourself. playground rule # 1 I think. all is lost when blows are thrown .
If I was raised never to hit a woman, I would hope she was raised the same way! If not she's gone as well as I would be too.
my mother always said that if a woman is man enough to hit a man, she is man enough to take a hit back. First of all i dont agree with hitting of anybody but i do think that in this 'equal' world we live in then my mother is right. I really hate the fact that domestic abuse against men is not seen as such a problem. I think that a lot of people would be suprised about the number of men suffer from domestic abuse. But this also raises another topic....abuse in gay relationships is very common, so with both partners being of the same gender does this have any effect on how people view domestic violence in a gay relationship?
No, no one has the right to hit anyone. It's unacceptable.
Everytime I give my wife alittle squeeze she hits me! That's wrong!
Women should not hit a man and vice versa. There is a saying that goes "there is nothing worse than a woman scorned" Well there is... a man scorned.
Anyway, the other saying "ignorance is bliss". If my man was to upset me enough to warrant a slapped face...he would be ignored until he realises there is something not right and then he would have to talk to me to find out what is up. IF it went on toooooo long then I'd say the relationship was over long before the silent treatment.
Assault is assault. Children soon learn that there is something up when an adult is talking to them in a loving way and then it suddenly stops. Why can men not understand this too? OH BTW... it goes both ways ladies.
I grew up in a house with seven brothers, and myself, the only girl. It was hard to stick up for myself sometimes, because needless to say it was a rough place to live sometimes.
My mother told me this---if you want to get involved with the fighting that goes on with the boys, expect to get involved.
My brothers were not allowed to hit me, but, if I chose to get physical and hit them, I had to expect them to defend themselves and get it back.
If I decided to hit one of them, they had the right to hit me back, and no conmpaining about the consequenses. So I had to really stop and think about it sometimes. Was it worth it, and would I get the worsed of it?
If a female wants to go there with a man, then she better be ready to defend herself, for turnabout is fair play.
While I have been slapped a coupla times, and I'm ok with it, I still don't think it's a win for either side; the male loses his dignity no matter how he responds-- and obviously he cannot retaliate--- and the woman loses her dignity by hitting the (theoretically) defenseless male, and stooping to violence.
Now, if this is a more voluntary scenario, well, that's a horse of a different breed all together.
Yeah a slap on the bum during the missionary really adds excitement, It shows shes enjoying it too
Well i will be diplomatic here. If the man worths a hit he should get one hard!
Neither gender should physically abuse the other, but things that happen in movies is not real! so yes it is ok to laugh at some things that you would not normally laugh at in reality!
Hitting anyone in anger is not on...man, woman or child. This also goes for animals. Never never Hurt anyone. Physical abuse hurts emotionally too. Children who witness abuse stand a high chance of becoming perpetrators on others and themselves or even their pets. Hitting people in whatever form is Bullying. It is no-ones right to have power over another. Children can be disciplined without using violence. there is way too much "acceptance" of violence displayed in society now. Funny video's showing people being hurt and people laughing when its really not funny.
Anyway, I prefer to be nice and kind and loving towards my fellow humans and animals. I'm not a religious freak or anything I just believe there is not enough real love in this world.
My son was being bullied at school by two girls and no one took it seriously he ended up shouting at teachers and running through the kitchen, I think out of frustration and was excluded while the girls carry on their regular school life my son was moved to a school where they concentrate on your behaviour.
men, women, boys, girls, children, adults - no one should hit anyone! and what begins as a little slap can quickly escalate into some terrible things - I know! Anger management people - we all probably need it sometimes!
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