How do you accept bad things happening to good people?

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   Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

   I deliberately didn't post this in the Religion forum:-)
   (although spiritual and anti-spiritual, serious and flip answers of all shapes/sizes welcome).
   Mostly just reaching out to see who might have personal experiences to share.
   
   Thanks!
   MM

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      mts1098posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I take this approach...bad things happen to all people bad and good...when bad things happen to me I tell myself to believe everything will be ok, lean on family and friends for support and grab a bottle of scotch

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         noenhulkposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Nice take on this. I agree with you. However, bad things always happened to bad people, but seldom on good people except when they are surrounded with bad things like, bad vibes, bad attitude, and of course, these bad people. :-)

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      Stacie Lposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      So if bad things happen to good people, is the opposite just as true?
      Good things happen to bad people?
      I agree with some here, that the good and bad are relative terms.

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      Lisa HWposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      MM, I just turned my answer into a Hub rather than do my usual posting of a Hub-length answer on the forums.    Not sure how good it is, but I appreciate the idea for a quick Hub (even though that wasn't your original reason for posting, I know). 

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         Mighty Momposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         I just read and commented on your hub, Lisa.
         It is the perfect response to what I was thinking in my OP and shows me you clearly "get" what I mean.
         {Of course I knew that about you...}
         Well done. Glad I could contribute a hub inspiration!
         

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   rebekahELLEposted 11 years ago

   I believe 'bad' things are relative. I'm a lemonade gal. If something 'bad' happens to a 'good' person, it's the way it is, why try to assign a cause? Life is about now and moving forward. Nobody is perfect and without exemption to enduring hardships. I think it's about how we move through them.
   Should be an interesting thread.

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3. 77

   Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

   Only took two posts to bring up Scotch and lemonade (by extension).
   Yep. Anticipating some "refreshing" insights!
   Thanks.

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      rebekahELLEposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Well, hey you know what I mean by the lemonade thing. I'll take a glass of cabernet or a cold one now that summer temps are here, preferably poolside.

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   Things just are what they are. I guess in my views accepting is the only option. I spent many years trying to find logic in it. I found none!

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   paradigmsearchposted 11 years ago

   "How do you accept bad things happening to good people?"
   
   Actually, I don't accept it. To me it is just more proof how screwed up this reality we live in is.

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   psycheskinnerposted 11 years ago

   I accept it because I don;t expect anything other than for bad things to happen according to their causal variables.

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   Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

   It is in my nature to bounce back when bad things happen to me.  It may not be as fast as I want it to be, but the idea is to accept what happened, then move on.  Bad things happen to everyone.  It just hits us at different times.  And it all depends on how we handle the situation.
   
   I keep reminding myself that you can't lead a perfect life where everything goes smoothly.  Wouldn't that be boring???  You need challenges.  And sometimes, when something bad happens to you, maybe it's time to purge.  Feather bed or tightrope?  (Edith Wharton).
   
   Gimme the tightrope!
   
   Can I have my non-alcoholic strawberry margarita, now?  It was Cinco de Mayo yesterday, you know.

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years ago

   i don't try to understand it anymore...life...shyt happens - some more to others....eventually some will experience and will be blown away and then understand what others have been through..but until then, they don't have a clue of what the bad/sad really feels like...i used to somewhat believe in karma - but i don't anymore...the above can define the good/happy things happening as well.

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      Jean Bakulaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I have a friend who calls them "astral tests." I think when bad things happen to good people, it's because they have some kind of lesson they need to learn. But I'm coming from a philosophy where I believe in reincarnation, and we choose the experiences we need to grow in between lifetimes on Earth. We travel with the same "soul group," that's why some people we meet seem so familiar. They are, we were something to each other before. And the tests we agree to in between lives are not always easy, apparently we have trouble even then, promising we will do what we promise to another we love the next time around. You have an "out" at the last minute, the soul can change it's mind before it enters the baby being born. Your Soul's Plan by Robert Schwartz has excellent stories about different people and their experiences as I've described above. But being human, it is very hard to accept it anyway, when bad things happen to good people. Karma does help me to deal with it better. And sometimes the people we think are so "good" really aren't. It's very painful to see our loved ones hurt and not be able to help, or when our lives are in circumstances we can't seem to control. I don't have the answers MM, but I keep looking.  I agree with those above who have mentioned the relativity factor too. What seems really bad to one person may be a great learning experience to another. But truly, sometimes things just suck, and I don't know why either.

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years ago

   i don't believe i have a lesson to learn.............lost my daughter to cancer and now my husband to a tragic motorcycle accident...both, really good people...me too......past life...f that!...excuse the anger....but...i'm angry, sad, happy, anxious, stressed, etc....life trying to teach me something?...f that too!....leave me alone...stop taking things away...i've had enough now and enough tests...i'm full now....it's all about me now...i'll cope etc., but i find some thoughts here rather flippant....some folks seem to have no clue

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      Lisa HWposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      SomewayOuttaHere (Hi, by the way).  There aren't words to follow your particular input or to express "whatever there is to express" when one hears of the kinds of loss you've had.  I'm so sorry to see that you've been through such awful loss.  I had some thoughts to post here, but I'll maybe post them somewhere else on the thread (or something).  You're very right about how people don't have a clue about how bad some kinds of loss are.  Unless/until someone goes through one particular kind of sadness/grief or another it's just not possible for them to be able to imagine the challenges, thoughts, whatever someone faces.  It's one of the things that makes loss (of one sort or another, and in one degree of another) as isolating as it is.

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10. 77

    Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

    I agree it's difficult to try to relate to others who haven't lived through the same experiences. It doesn't work to wish for them to have something equally hellatious happen so they can "get a clue" what you're going through.
    But it does create a barrier.
    Misery may not really love company but until you've been to hell you're in a different life space than those who have.
    
    I have found that when I'm feeling isolated in my fury/angst/fear -- whatever the mega challenge/lesson I'm facing happens to be -- it helps to open my eyes and ears. Because usually right there is someone who is going through something much, much worse.
    
    And here it is. Proven one again.

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    Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

    I have been dealt a couple of hands that I am forced to face and live with.  I don't like it, but I did not have the choice to begin with.  Life is much more precious because of what has happened to me.  A long time ago, I stopped asking why, why, why.  I live my life.  I focus on the spiritual, and not the material.  I have come to the point where I carefully choose the people that I keep around me.  Because of the hands I've been dealt, I don't have as much time as most people.  So I need to make the best of it.  No crying, no whining.  I've learned to take things as they come.

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       Mighty Momposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       And look at that beaming smile. Must be working!

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    Dame Scribeposted 11 years ago

    I like that quote, ' God gives us no more than we can handle' I think if bad things are going on, self and others, should learn something and do something. Actions and inaction say a lot of the person or people.

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    Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

    Aw, shucks, Mighty Mom!  Thank you, but I think it was too much cumin in the enchilada sauce.  No sauce because it bombed, and no recipe Hub to write.  Hmmmmph!  It helps to laugh at least once a day.  At least!

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