Do you feel that once a cheater always a cheater?

1. 51

   Valerieassyriaposted 11 years ago

   Do you feel that once a cheater always a cheater?
   
   I feel like the once a cheater always a cheater is not true because by you doing something and seeing that you can truly lose the person that you love if you continue to do it is a eye opener but the have to actually leave you that's the catch if you don't actually show that person that you will leave them then they will do it over and over because you will just forgive them but if you actually leave THEY KNOW THAT YOU MEAN BUSINESS AND WILL NOT STAND TO BE DISRESPECTED you can't just forgive and not leave them for them to take the situation serious

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2. 78

   Mom Katposted 11 years ago

   No, I don't believe "once a cheater always a cheater".  There are 2 main factors to consider here:
   
   1. Maturity level.  As people grow, they mature (most of us anyway).  It is possible to "out-grow" immature ways of thinking and behaving.  A once selfish person can become a loving and giving person in time.
   
   2. Needs being met.  One of the main reasons people cheat is because one or more of their needs are not being met.  If your needs are met, there is no reason to seek them elsewhere.  It could be the need for love/connection, variety, or security (or any of the other main needs every person has). 
   
   No one can stop a person from being who they are.  An immature person will remain that way until he/she chooses to grow.  No matter how firm you are with them, if they aren't "there" they just aren't "there" yet.

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3. 78

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Of course it's not true! Human beings have the capacity to change if they are commmited to doing so. If we can have ex-smokers, ex-drinkers, and ex-drug users then it stands to reason someone can decide to stop cheating as well.
   The statement; "Once a cheater always a cheater" is uttered by people to (simplify) their dating process. They don't want to have to wonder if it could happen again or if the person has truly changed. Bascially it's a belief statement/rule to save them time and effort as well as reducing their risk of being hurt in the same way a creditor looks at one's credit history. By the same token just because a person may have filed bankruptcy10 years ago does not mean they will never have control over their finances.
   No rational person truly believes that once you do something you will ALWAYS do it for the rest of life. It's just easier to put people in a box and move on.

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4. 51

   abbykorinneleeposted 11 years ago

   In theory, no I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater.
   
   You have to consider the circumstances in which the person cheated.  I cheated before, and I did so in a marriage that for all puposes but the cheating was great.  It wasn't the kind of love I thought I would find but it was fulfilling since we were best friends.  He was a great father, provider, and he and I didn't have problems but the cheating was frequent and after each time he cheated I did cheat back. That doesn't mean that I will cheat on anyone else. 
   
   However, I also do believe if they are a habitual cheater that will not change no matter if the person leaves or not.  If the person cheats once, I believe in giving them a chance and fighting for the marriage.  I also believe some people need the fear that they are losing their partner and leaving (even if you don't intend it to be a break up but to scare them) and having a seperation is ideal.  It also gives the partner something to think about like if you forgive them, and you go back to them, you can't throw it up in a fight or something.  You have to let it go like it didn't happen or your relationship will suffer.  Most people I have met can't do that.

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5. 51

   vashttii1posted 11 years ago

   Men think about sex more than 90 percent of the day thats factual. I agree you do have to leave them to teach them but only some of them learn. Consider the felon who gets caught selling drugs and goes to federal prision. Satictics show more percent of these people will return to prison a second, and third time. But why? One factor besides many is the human mantality on getting caught. Many people get caught and as time goes by, they figure out a way to not get caught next time. But they always do! Also because men think about sex so much, if they where to add porn, it would be harder to resist cheating. Studies have been done on the effects of porn, and it really does mess with their minds. So i say it depends on what kind of man it is, a man whos made a mistake and feels regret or a man whos made a mistake, gets caught up, chooses his girl friend over the other until he cheats again. I know both  types of men like that....

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