Friendships are normal and healthy. It's nice to feel you belong and fit in. It's good to know you have friends to hang out with. Being part of a group can help people develop relationship skills, feel close to others, get and give support, share ideas, discover what's important to them, and have fun.
Popularity "Cliques" are different. This seems to be a need to keep up with the popular people "The Jones's" you might say. This isn't necessarily a healthy friendship as a lot of jealousy and entitlement can occur.
I remember in high school my best friend was obsessed with being popular. I never understood why she cared. Now that I am older and have studied psychology I think I understand a bit more. Still I'd rather have a few good friends.
I certainly agree with you Stina. If one is popular, you have no idea who is really your friend, or just wants to be a part of the 'clique."
I agree, I remember when I was in school, I never yearned to be popular, I just merely wanted to fit in, to have at least one friend, like me for my personalilty, not for the clothes I wear or the car I drive, material things shouldn't matter.
Where do I begin? There is a big difference between being popular and real friendships. From my experience as a young girl with good looking brothers....I was popular with girls who had no interest in me other than trying to get a date with my brothers. Then, there is the media outlets that have list of so-called friends that most people have never met and know very little about them on a personal level. They are just presenting airs and hoping to appear to be something they are not....going along with the crowd to fit in instead of being true one's self....principles....morals.....respect.....and integrity.
Friends....true friends....are concerned about another individual....they communicate.....share wisdom and knowledge....life and experiences! They will be ready to lend a helping hand when one stumbles or falls down....friends will be honest and encouraging....will not always see eye to eye with every detail and willing to give sound warning when they think you are on a path that will be harmful or hurtful to you....they will be aware of lines with respect to general principles and morals and not cross them....they seek to know and understand the things that make another happy or sad....and at times stick closer than a blood relative. Friends desire to respect, share, communicate, grow in experience and maturity. True friends, simply enjoy being around another without always seeking anything but companionship from each other....yet, experiencing and sharing life....first liking then loving what the other person brings to one's life. I guess that is it....just off the top of my head.
I think that popularity always scared me. I've always been more comfortable around just my few close friends then with a large group of people I barely know.
Interesting question. I think the difference is that popularity, though not in and of itself negative, is a more shallow thing than friendship. Popularity can and does fade when circumstances change. Friendship, if it's real, does not. You might be popular for perfectly valid reasons: success, talent, personality, etc.. But if you lose one of those things, your popularity will decline. Friendship isn't based on what you do, it's just based on how you connect with someone on a human level as well as trust and chemistry formed with time and interaction. Friendship doesn't disappear when external things change, because the bond it's built on remains the same. Just my 2 cents, anyway.
Popularity and friendship mean totally different things. If you want to be in the "popular group" it just means that you are trying to fit it. It really does not have to do with liking or caring for the person or people. Usually it is an ego booster to be known as a popular person.
Real friendship is out of respect for the person, liking and caring for the person because of who they are, not what they are. Really understanding and getting to know a person and sticking by them no matter what.
Very true, I can't say I am the most confident person in the world but I have never felt the need for that ego boost that comes with being popular.
Popularity is a mix of fame and admiration from others who enjoy seeing or being around you. Friendship on the other hand usually involves the (mutual ) sharing of intimate feelings and thoughts about life with someone considered "trustworthy".
Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington are "popular" but neither one of them are my "friend".
Don't take it the wrong way, they are not my friends either
I know that Lindsay Lohan is a popular actor - meaning of interest to the population. But most people who 'like' her as a popular actor would not treat her as a friend.
I think I would probably try to psychoanalyze her. She would make an interesting case study.
Short, sweet, and simple:
Popularity means that you are LIKED for what you have and do for others and that when this stops then thats when you find out who your true friends are.
Friendship, provided the friends understand the true meaning thereof, means you are appreciated for who you are and what you do, although a true friend does for their friends and seeks nothing in return. They just love you, man!
Good answer! I think I am lucky to have some really great friends who stand by me even when I have nothing to give.
Popularity is like milk, your only popular for a certain amount of time before you expire. A friendship is one that lasts for a long time as long as the other and the trust factor as well.
Popularity means you are known by many people - for good and bad reasons. It is not always positive. You can be popular for a little bit but then eventually it will die down. It can also mean you have a lot more enemies and have a higher risk of bullying as people will be jealous.
Friendship last a lot longer and people are more trust-worthy in the sense that you can go to them whenever, When you are popular- a lot of people know you- but how many people do you know and know that you can go to them for anything without any awkwardness.
Very true, you can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.
For me, a friend is going to be there no matter how popular you are or not. If it's just popularity.. everyone likes you, but not for you... for what you are, or what your popularity can do for them.
I can certainly think of many instances where people wanted to be near me or become my friend in order to gain something or meet someone else who I knew.
nice question stina.. well popularity and friendship is very different...
in friendship everybody is equal.. and friendship will never affect other relationships.. but popularity can.. in popularity you won't fine anything positive even though it seems to be very attractive..but in friendship their won't be any competition... when someone becomes popular they seek to be much more than they are now.. and hence they will have to go with lots of competition.. and may be many broken relationships.. but when you are in a simple friendship you will be rather very happy and satisfied..
just in short.. as much popular you are.. as many problems you will have to face.. and will also have to love with fake happiness and never ending demands.. and when you are in friendship.. all you will get is never ening happiness...
hope this helps you with your questions...
take care...
This is interesting because growing up my best friend was obsessed with popularity. Even now as adults it often feels like she treats most things between her and I like a competition.
Popularity to me means alot of people like something about you -your character, jokes you tell, something you do day in and day out that become the "norm" for most people in their actions and behaviors.
Friendship is a relationship you form with someone you have come to know and learn about. You have similar thoughts, wants and needs. You talk to the person about more than just politics, reality shows and "what you did for the day." Friendship is a bond you form with someone else that lets the other person know you are there for them-good, bad and indifferent.
I've written an amazing article about it on my profile regarding popularity & friendship. Do check it out!
http://hubpages.com/family/How-to-Gain- … g-Everyone
Popularity is fake, popularity is loads of acquaintances, who are just waiting and ready to jump onto the next thing or popular person, this is also true for surface level friendship as allot of friendship is fake, and your really acquaintances even if you consider yourselves friends.
This is in contrast to true friendship, where even if you don't see each other as much as you would like you know they are always their for you, and they will always be their to help you in times of struggle as well as the good times.
True friends are hard to find. Fake friends are easy to find, they are everywhere in the good times, nowhere in the bad.
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