You are my friends , should I go ?

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   ahorsebackposted 10 years ago

   You are my friends , should I go ?
   
   Got a problem ! My wife sees a councilor , as is now saying , "WE , may need to attend together ! ? Help .....

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2. 79

   Becky Katzposted 10 years ago

   Of course you do, if you value your relationship. I have gone with my husband, because he asked me to. We didn't have a problem, but he wanted me to know what was going on. Therapists often want to know the other person in the clients life. It won't hurt a thing and might make things better. Knowing more about how and why your spouse feels about something is always good. It can bring understanding to something that you may not have known.

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      ahorsebackposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Becky thank you dear !

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3. 61

   Lisa HWposted 10 years ago

   Having, myself, overlooked what truly seemed "like nothing" as far as flaws in a relationship go; and having discovered that most people's tendency to just accept that "marriage takes work" and/or "nobody's perfect" means they don't recognize the earliest roots of problems, I think far too few people realize soon enough when outside help might set things a little back on track.
   
   So, to me, a lot more couples should see someone a lot sooner - before what "isn't perfect" starts to obviously be "a real problem".
   
   I don't know...      I can't really see how seeing someone would hurt, and it may help.
   
   I do know one thing:  If one or both people thinks he generally "knows better" than the other when it comes to being a person and living a life, nothing that the person who is seen as "not knowing as well" isn't going to be respected enough to be viewed through "clear lenses".  The person (or people) being viewed through "colored" or distorted lenses will have everything he says/does viewed through the same lenses.
   
   So to me, it can't hurt to see someone and at least try to make sure that everyone is seeing everyone else through clear lenses.   

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      ahorsebackposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks  LISA!

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   Grey Templesposted 10 years ago

   Yes, because you may discover something that your wife needs to really tell you because she loves you.  With both of you seeing a councelor it will help your relationship so you both can understand each other better.  You may not know what you are doing wrong in your relationship and visa versa.  Think of it this way, if more people went to counseling it would be a happier world.   If you love your wife go and form a stronger bond that may have left over the years.

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   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   Ed,  my friend.....regardless of whether your wife is seeing a counselor for issues within herself (that have nothing to do with possible marital difficulties)....OR, she sees him/her due to what she feels are difficulties between the two of you.....Yes, absolutely you should be willing to go along.  If the counselor feels this is important and your wife has approached you with this.....I see no fair reason for you to refuse.
   
   One way or the other, Ed, you need to (and should want to) be involved in a situation that is of concern to your wife...and/or your relationship.  I can easily predict that should you decide you want no part of this, you will seriously regret this decision.  If not now......in the future, please believe me.
   
   If going to an appointment makes you feel uneasy or fearful, rest assured Ed, professionals are trained to help you to be comfortable and will do whatever is necessary to walk you through a session as painlessly as possible.
   
   Whatever your decision, I wish you and your wife the very best of results and a clearer understanding of one another.  For the vast majority of individuals/couples....."counseling" can be cathartic and quite beneficial....Good luck, Ed......Peace & Love, Paula

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      ahorsebackposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you , You're right my friend !

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      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      ED, thank you for honoring me with Best Answer.  I am happy to be of some support.

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      singlmomat52posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes you should go. You never know what you may learn in a session or two. Go in with a open mind and let the chips fall where they may. I would go! You will be just fine and benefit from it. You are man of many awesome words and feelings! God bless!!

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   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   If you love your wife, yes go to the counselor with her. If it will help your wife, you have an obligation to do whatever it is that can help her. She must be your first priority.

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      ahorsebackposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you duffsmom!

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   Jodahposted 10 years ago

   Yes Ed, as everyone has advised..."go!". It may be a little embarrassing for you, but I'm sure you've had a lot worse things happen to you in your life, and what, it should only take 30 minutes or so out of your day. It will probably be beneficial for you both in the long run.

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      ahorsebackposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      U are all so kind and correct Thank you

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